Longest Chapter so far! And in my opinion, one of the best chapters. But I ship Murphiley so hard that I can't help but not be so happy this finally happened. It only goes up (and then REALLY far down) from here, guys! The next chapter will be out on Murphiley Monday. If you want a sneak peck of this chapter, I will be posting one over the weekend on my tumblr for this story. Link in my profile, or look up rileyparkerneedstoshutup on tumblr.
P.S. It's storming out and its scaring my dog, so if you could post a review saying, "It's okay Honey" (Yes, my dog's name is Honey. And he's a fucking sweetie) maybe he will feel better.
Finn had given himself up. Raven had cried. We all went back to camp Jaha and that night we watched as Clarke killed Finn, to save him from being tortured. Clarke killed the boy she loved.
That night Murphy and I both laid awake in our own beds for hours. We couldn't seem to find words. Everything was so fucked up, and I know he was replaying Finn's death in his mind like I was. Hearing Raven's cry, the wailing of someone who would never be okay after losing their best friend. June's hand finding Breton's as they stood next to us, and the disgusted looks on everyone's faces when they looked at either four of us.
The next few days I buried myself in trying to learn how to shoot an arrow. Murphy had been allowed to keep his gun even after the grounder's 'peace', and he was also then assigned to do rounds. No one knew what to even do with me, and as June and Breton gave anyone who came near us a disgruntled glare, everyone kept their distance.
I was happy, to be left alone. I didn't trust any of them. Only June and Murphy. June and I could laugh with each other when she taught me, and she actually said I was quite good compared to the sword practice. But as Breton reminded her, anything that didn't hurt me would be considered better than the sword practice.
I didn't really like it when Breton tried to correct my stance. I knew he was the archer king or whatever, but still. He was a strange man in my eyes and therefore I didn't trust him quite yet. Murphy hadn't liked Breton getting close to me either, but Murphy always had a problem with territory.
"The only reason I haven't shot Breton yet is because of how he looks at June." Murphy mumbled one morning, bitter at the fact that the grounders would be entering camp that day. We had just finished eating breakfast, and were walking back to our room.
We pretty much had just wanted to hide from the grounders, and June and Breton had already disappeared to do so. Murphy was still drinking water, bringing the cup back with him from breakfast to our room.
I wasn't quite sure where we'd put the cup in our room, but I assumed we'd figure that out when it came down to it.
"If you shoot him, we'd end up friendless." I reminded him. If he even dared hurt Breton, June would go on a rampage. And after seeing June with a sword, I realized she wasn't someone you wanted to mess with. Being around Breton had brought out all her strength, and she became pretty unstoppable.
"Still doesn't change the fact that I want to do it." Murphy grunted back as he took another sip of water.
I couldn't help but giggle at how grumpy he was being. Yeah Breton was odd, but he mostly kept his distance. Definitely not bordering murdering territory. He only helped me learn because June dragged him along. I looked around as I stopped laughing, noticing the hall was filling. Soon we weren't able to even move, and Murphy groaned as he grabbed my hand, leaning against the wall.
"Too late." He grumbled, and I groaned when I noticed what he meant. Kane had been leading a bunch of grounders down the hallway. They all stopped, the crowd growing even more. A few grounders stopped across the hallway from us, and out of the corner of my eye I saw one of them point at us to the other.
"Quiet down." Kane said as the crowd moved to let him through, and he stopped in the middle.
"Those grounders are looking at us, Murphy." I brought my face up to his, my lips close to his ears as I whispered it to him. Murphy nodded, his hand holding onto mine tighter.
"I know we don't have a lot in common," Kane began, and I turned my head away from Murphy's to watch Kane speak. "But we do have a common enemy, and a common goal. And for us to reach it, to get our people out of Mount Weather, we need to work together." Kane tilted his body slightly to look at a grounder woman. She didn't seem pleased with this idea either. "Kongeda." Kane stated, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Someone had been taking a leaf out of June's book by learning their language. "Skaikru, and Trikru."
Kane's voice drained out from my hearing as my gaze snapped to a grounder walking quietly towards us. He was the one who had pointed us out to his friend.
"You got a problem?" Murphy hissed to the grounder, raising a brow.
"You both stood there watching while my village was massacred." The grounder hissed back, but unfortunately he said it in his language so neither Murphy or I really had any clue at that moment what he had said. A few words stuck out, like Kru meaning village, or people. But all we had to go on was the bitter look on his face.
"Sorry, man. I don't speak grounder." Murphy dryly said back, a smirk creeping slightly on his face as he shook his head slightly.
The grounder didn't like that response, and freaking punted Murphy's glass away from him. It landed on the ground between their feet, water ending up all over the floor. Suddenly my hand was dropped and Murphy had lunged himself at the grounder, shoving the grounder back. I don't know why whenever Murphy fought someone I found it kind of endearing. Screwed up childhood, probably.
"Mr. Murphy! Apologize to that man." Kane boomed, stopping the fight immediately with his commanding tone. If the situation hadn't been so serious, I would've giggled about Murphy being called 'Mr. Murphy'.
"For what?" Murphy hissed, his eyes never leaving the grounders. They were having this weird sort of glare off.
"He was the one who came at Murphy." I said, looking at Kane for a moment before going back to watching the stare off.
"Two days work detail. Both of you." Kane dismissed, and my mouth dropped open. Like, seriously? Murphy gets attacked and not only does he end up the one on janitor duty, but I do as well?
"Work detail? She just told you I didn't-" Murphy sputtered, his eyes leaving the grounder's for a moment to look incredulously at Kane.
"Care to make it three?" Kane asked, cutting Murphy off.
Murphy frowned, taking a step away from the grounder and closer to me. He grabbed my hand again and was ready to storm off when from behind us the grounder said, "Your bitch is gonna burn just like your friend."
Now we were both fucking pissed. Obviously the grounder had meant me. I had never been seriously called a bitch before. Sure, Reed used to call me her bitch all the time, but she meant it endearingly. Like how I called Murphy jerk-face, and he called me a dumbass. It was all just sweet talk. Really fucked up sweet talk, but I mean. Whatever floats our boat.
But that grounder was not being endearing, and Murphy dropped my hand and whipped around, swinging his fist at the grounder's head. I joined in too. Don't ask me why, I guess I just got too excited and needed to punch someone. Also, I didn't like how he said I was going to burn.
"Don't you fucking speak about her." Murphy hissed between trying to lay punches.
"Murphy, Parker!" Kane shouted, but everyone around us started in on the fight, pushing the grounder or sky person next to them. As the fight grew around us, Kane's voice became harder to hear, but I could still hear him shouting our last names. Once the grounder got distracted by the other's around him, Murphy quickly dipped away, grabbing my hand and dragging me out in between people.
I was so hyped at this point, my heart felt like it was about to explode with adrenaline. I didn't even think when Kane yanked my shoulder. I punched him as hard as I could in the chest. He dropped his hand and backed away from me. Not the wisest thing I've ever done, but I didn't want someone touching me.
We were able to get out of the crowd and escape to our room, but before we could even completely catch our breath, a member of the guard was at our door. He seemed pissed off, which was understandable considering he was holding a bucket, a mop, and a bunch of rags. Kane had been serious when he said 'work detail'. After handing us the cleaning supplies, the guy even snatched the gun that Murphy had left laying near the door.
It was safe to say our morning only went downhill from there. We had to walk from room to room, cleaning up other people's messes. I don't know why they bothered having us mop the floor. Murphy mopped, and I used the rag to dust and wipe everything down. It was boring work, and around lunch time we both found ourselves looking out of the window instead of actually cleaning.
Outside in the center of the camp, members of the guard were practicing shooting. Near them, grounders were practicing their gorilla warfare. It was all very segregated, with the exception of Octavia being with the grounders.
Octavia had started taking that 'Get knocked down, get back up' thing a little too seriously. For some reason, June and Octavia had started having disagreements. Maybe it was because Octavia wanted to be friends with all the grounders, and because of how Breton had been exiled, she couldn't go near the other grounders without any of them trying to stab her.
"They need to save their bullets for the grounders." Murphy mumbled, watching the guards with a look of complete in utter distaste on his face.
He was right, in my opinion. The only grounder I had ever liked was Breton, and he had been exiled for being too nice. For doing things like bandaging me up so I didn't bleed to death, and making sure Reed didn't get killed.
"We are all so fucking screwed." I added, moving the blinds slightly in annoyance. We were surrounded by enemies. Our own people had turned on us, not trusting us to not be the ones who started a fight.
Murphy and I had been so busy glaring outside, we hadn't noticed anyone come through the open door. I nearly jumped to the ceiling when I heard a deep voice behind us.
"I take it you two don't approve." It was jaha, and he looked at both of us curiously as he stopped in the middle of the room.
Jaha was still an asshole in my mind, and I knew Murphy felt the same way when instead of responding he took the mop back out of the bucket, letting it smack against the floor as he continued mopping.
"I asked you a question." Jaha said, making it clear that he wasn't going to let this one down so easily.
"Who cares what we think?" Murphy replied bitterly, looking down at the floor he was mopping.
I sighed as I brought the rag up to the blinds to clean them, "No one cares what we think." The sad part was how true it was. No one asked for our opinions on anything, and when we said something, we were usually told to shut up.
"I do." Jaha said, "Or I wouldn't have asked."
Fair enough Jaha, fair enough.
"I think the grounders can go to hell." Murphy spat, and I looked over at him to see him glaring at Jaha.
"I mean, Breton can stay. But, only him." I added. Murphy rolled his eyes, but continued glaring at Jaha.
"I got you both off of work detail." Jaha stated, and I nearly threw my rag down in excitement as I looked at Jaha in confusion. I had never realized how boring cleaning was.
"Why?" Murphy asked skeptically as he picked the mop back up and put it in the bucket.
"You both knew my son." Jaha answered, as if saying that made everything in the whole world make sense.
I groaned at his words. Yeah, we both had known him. Sometimes at night I could still see Wells' dead face, the dark ground around his neck covered in blood. His eyes open, and the look of surprise that had stayed etched in his features.
"Don't remind me." I mumbled, finally deciding to drop the rag down on the windowsill before looking down at the ground.
"Why?" Jaha asked, giving me a confused glance.
"I tripped over his dead body." I remarked as I looked back at Jaha, realizing just how awkward that sentence was. I mean, it was true. But I had a feeling he hadn't wanted to know that.
There was a moment of silence before Jaha finally changed the topic. "I'd like you both to take me to his grave." Jaha looked back from me to Murphy. "Now that there's a truce, it's safe for me to go and say goodbye."
I don't know why he would ever think we would want to go on a day trip back to hell with him. Murphy glanced over at me before moving his eyes to the ground as he sighed.
"Well, you can get someone else to take you." Murphy finally spat, his eyes going back to Jaha's to glare at him.
Jaha frowned at Murphy before looking back at me. "I'm told the graves are unmarked. You can show me which is his." Jaha said as he took a step closer to us. His hands went behind his back and he pulled out from his back pockets two guns, "You can hold the mop, or you can hold the gun."
Now that really threw me. Out of all the people I had expected to be the first to offer me a gun, he was definitely near the bottom of that list. Jaha looked at both of us, lifting the guns for us to take.
"Oh, I'm not allowed to have a gun." I said as I shook my head at Jaha. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Murphy nod at my statement before grabbing the gun held out closest to him.
"It looks like I'll meet you guys outside in five." Jaha remarked, bringing the other gun back and putting it back in his pocket.
Murphy had wanted a gun again so bad he had signed us up for what was probably the most awkward adventure in a lifetime. We had packed lunch and even dinner, just in case. If we had actually had more things, we would've packed those. But sadly, all of our belongings combined fit easily in one backpack. Murphy was dead convinced that like the gun, he also needed to carry the backpack. Not really something I could complain about, either. What would I have said, 'how dare you be considerate'?
"It's extraordinary, isn't it?" Jaha finally broke the silence of the walk, and I looked back to see him soaking up every part that nature had to offer.
"Oh, give it a few days." Murphy bitterly retorted, not even bothering to look back at Jaha as he continued to lead us through the woods.
"I may not know everything that happened before I got down here, but I do know something about what you're feeling, son." Jaha said, and I cringed. Murphy stopped walking in front of us, finally looking back at Jaha. And boy, was he pissed.
"Don't call me that." Murphy hissed. "I'm nobodies son. You made sure of that." He finished as he whipped back around and stormed off. I quickly threw a glare at Jaha before I skipped and caught up with Murphy.
My heart did weird things when Murphy was mad. Seeing him frown made my heart feel like it was shattering slightly.
"You could be my son." I whispered to him, trying to get him to smile. Or smirk, anything really besides that damn frown.
It worked, and a smirk slowly worked it's way onto his face. "I'm pretty sure the way I feel about you would make that concept extremely inappropriate."
Hearing Murphy say that almost blew my mind. It was the most forward he had ever been while he was sober, and the closest he had ever been to actually admitting he cared about me in a long time. I mean, obviously I knew he did. Everything he did made me think he had thought of my wellbeing while doing it.
"I remember your father." Jaha butted in, and that smirk that I had put on his face went right back to a frown.
"Yeah right." Murphy grunted, and I grabbed his hand as I saw a tense and sad look wash over his whole face.
"Alex Murphy." Jaha saying Murphy's dad's name made me want to punch him in the face. Instead, I held onto Murphy's hand tighter, and he did the same. "Convicted of theft of rationed medicine. He stole it to take care of you."
As he continued I realized that if he didn't shut up soon, I would do more than punch him.
"And your father, Riley." Oh, no. I could feel Murphy's eyes on me as Jaha said that. I continued to stare in front of us, trying not to let Jaha affect me. "William Parker. Theft of alcohol, I believe."
"Yeah well once I was thrown in the skybox he didn't have my rations any more to trade for it." I spat out, and I wanted to let go of Murphy's hand and just run away, and cry. But he held on tighter.
"I remember them all." Jaha admitted.
"You never told me your father ended up being floated." Murphy whispered to me, and I could still feel his eyes on me.
"He was going to be out of my life either way, it didn't really matter to me if he was alive or dead." I told him the same shit I had told myself ever since I had been told what had happened.
"Don't lie to me." Murphy hissed, yanking my hand so I would look at him.
"I have to." I spat back, glaring at him. "Or I'll have to stop lying to myself." I added, and I tried to pull my hand away from his. He finally let go, and I quickly turned around and continued walking.
"We're here." Murphy said behind me to Jaha, but I still couldn't look at either of them.
I liked running away from my past. Hell, I was good at it. And then Jaha had to just throw the chips in the air, letting them fall where they would. I continued walking, leading them to the graveyard.
I tried to block their voices out. I hated hearing the sadness in Murphy's voice, and I could still hear Jaha's words ringing in my mind. I felt like my whole world was shattering apart, and it had only taken Jaha to have said like ten words to do so.
Murphy had kept his distance from me for the rest of the day, only coming near the tree stump I sat on to give me food. I took the food silently, and it took me a long time to force myself to eat it. Every once in a while I would sneak a peak at Jaha, hopeful he would get off the ground next to his son's grave and that he would tell us we could go. But nightfall came and he still stayed on the ground.
"Are you done?" I finally choked out, my eyes staying on Jaha. I could feel Murphy's eyes on me, but I didn't look over at him. I was too afraid to see what his facial expression could be. I didn't think my heart could take it if I saw anger in his eyes.
"We gotta be heading back." Murphy added, taking in a very audible deep breath.
"How well did you two know him?" Jaha finally asked, looking up and both of us.
"I sat next to him on the dropship." I said, shrugging.
If I thought about it too much I could still hear his voice, trying to explain to Clarke why he came. Both of them bickering, me in the middle and miserable because I had been separated from my friends. Also because they had been talking about Clarke's dad dying at it was super awkward.
"We both knew him well enough to be hung for his murder." Murphy said, and I had to close my eyes.
This day was like a horrible trip down memory lane, where only the shitty memories were being brought up. "Clarke sugarcoated it for you, didn't she?" Murphy asked, knowing the answer was yes.
"What happened to my son?" Jaha asked, and opened my eyes again to see him stand up and take a step closer to Murphy.
"Twelve year old girl stabbed him in the neck with a knife she took from me, on the night Riley was on night watch." Murphy said, and the sorrow in his voice finally made me look at him.
He didn't look at me, he only continued glaring at Jaha.
"Why would she do that?" I could hear confusion in Jaha's voice.
"She couldn't kill you." Murphy said, "So you got a lot of blood on your hands, Chancellor." He continued, taking a step towards Jaha. "And every single one of them, including your son would still be alive if you hadn't sent us down here." There was so much regret and anger in his voice, and I wanted to cry.
Yeah, being on earth had fucking sucked for while, but if we never went to earth, Murphy would've died and I never would've seen him ever again. That had to make the torture worth it, right? My mind started working on overdrive, thinking of all the possible situations in where he could've actually regretted earth completely.
"If I didn't send you, they would've died on the ark with the rest of you. You two would've never seen each other again. We would've never known the earth was survivable. Their sacrifice is why we are here." Jaha said. "Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John."
Hearing Jaha call Murphy 'John' was unsettling. John was his name, but that wasn't what I associated with him. He was always Murphy to me. He was always my Murphy to me.
Jaha let out a deep sigh before starting to walk away, towards the dropship.
"Camp 'you' is that way." Murphy spat, pointing in the opposite direction of where Jaha was walking.
"We'll rest at the dropship for a while." Jaha said as he continued walking, and I let out a deep sigh.
After Jaha's silhouette disappeared into the dropship, Murphy finally spoke up. "Are you coming?" He asked, and I looked back down at the ground before forcing myself to look at him.
He seemed to be having difficulties looking at me as well, and all I wanted to do was cry. It was as if this day dragged up all the anger he had ever felt, and it all was shown on his face.
"I will, soon. I just need to be left alone with my thoughts, I guess." I said, and Murphy nodded, not forcing the subject and walking to the dropship as well.
We had told each other everything. I had told him about every little thing Reed and I had done when we were in the skybox. But I hadn't ever mentioned my dad to him. Hell, I tried not to mention my dad to myself. He had been a piece of shit to me, and had treated me like dirt. He had stolen my rations to feed his addictions, and had blamed me for every problem. But he was my father, and something inside me still had loved him.
I kept myself on that stump for a long time. I had known I had made a mistake by not telling Murphy, but I hadn't been ready to admit it. His reaction had made it worse, too. He had never been one to turn away from me, and a night before he never would've let me stay outside by myself.
I had started to think maybe I had messed everything up. I was very good at screwing things up, after all.
I quietly made my way back to the dropship, stopping myself by the dropship doors. I had wanted to just walk in, but my feet seemed to not like the idea of getting any closer. Quietly I sat down right by the door, waiting for my courage to come back. I could hear them speaking, and being nosy and desperate, I listened.
"Are you sure, you must be hungry." Jaha asked, and I could hear him shake some sort of tin. It hadn't occurred to me that Jaha had even brought any food. I guess part of me had assumed Jaha didn't eat, and thrived off spite or something.
"No one gives anything without expecting something in return." Murphy snapped back, and the anger and sadness I had seen earlier was still evident in his voice, shattering my heart slowly.
"That's a cynical way to go through life, John. You and Riley clearly have a lot of trust issues." Jaha said, and I had to close my eyes.
We had a shit ton of problems, but we had never really ever had problems with each other. Not until now.
"You pull us off work detail, you offer me food. Why are you being so nice to us?" Murphy asked, changing the topic.
"Everyone deserves a second chance." Jaha stated offhandedly. "That's why we sent the hundred to earth in the first place."
"What a load of crap." Murphy spat, "You didn't give a damn about us. You still don't. That's why you're not fighting for those kids in mount weather."
Murphy bringing up the others in mount weather was like another stab to the heart. I had missed Reed so much it hurt, but I had learned to deal with it like I did with everything; by avoiding the subject entirely. I only brought up happy memories about her, never that she was somewhere inside a mountain, most likely scared out of her skull.
"No," Jaha dismissed, "I have to think of everyone. I know you don't want to hear this, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many. Like I said, good can come out of even the darkest acts."
I had to bring my hands to my mouth to stop myself from making any audible sounds.
"The only good that has came from this is Riley, and your choices put her through hell as a kid." Hearing Murphy's words, him speaking of me like that, made my heart leap. "You nearly let her father's selfishness kill her."
I held my chest, his words ringing in my mind. He was mad, but it was because of how I had not treated, not because of me. Maybe there was hope for us after all.
"That's why you got into those fights, isn't it? What had those boys done to her?" Jaha asked, and I realized he must've known exactly how Murphy had gotten locked up, but had never actually tried to figure out why.
"They stole what little food Riley had left and waved it around in her face. They made fun of her everyday at school for being so damn thin. She cried herself to sleep too many times for me to count, and still no one did shit about it. And we may have been pardoned, but we are still treated like shit." I could hear how hard to was for Murphy to say that, and I felt worse for being glad he had said it.
For finally telling someone, for freeing himself of some of the anger he had held in. When we were kids, he had always been angry. At school, he was always seconds away from a fight. He only seemed to calm down around me, and I had always assumed that was because I could distract him from all the other shit that was going on.
"You've both made mistakes. So have I." Jaha said before letting out a deep sigh. "And letting Riley go through that was one of my biggest mistakes. But you must know John, she wasn't the only kid in that kind of situation."
Jaha was right, and it pissed me off. The fact that he knew kids were starving, their parents drinking themselves into a flurry, and he still had did nothing about it.
"We are both nothing like you, Chancellor." Murphy's voice was getting louder.
"No? All of us have suffered at the hands of the grounders. We all should've died several times now. We all have been betrayed and imprisoned by our own people." Jaha's voice was raising well, and it was becoming more clear how hurt he had been by his people choosing to listen to Abby and Kane instead of him.
"So there's no place for any of us, then. Great." Murphy spat, "I thought you were supposed to be inspiring."
"There is a place for all of us. One where Riley would be safe." Jaha said, yet again his words angered me enough to want to punch him. He still thought of me as a helpless little girl. "When I first landed on earth, I met a woman who spoke of a place beyond the dead zone. A place where everyone is accepted. A city of light." Jaha sounded like he had lost his mind.
"That sounds like a fairytale." Murphy said dismissively, his voice lowering back to its regular tone.
"Or a second chance." Jaha interjected, and I could hear the smile in Jaha's voice.
"You don't even know if it's real." Murphy reminded him, the annoyance in his voice only slightly evident.
"You're right, I don't. But I believe." Jaha said, his words getting sappy and sappier by the minute.
"Well that's good for you chancellor. Very good." Murphy said sarcastically before adding, "I'm going to check on Riley." I could hear him stand up.
My eyes bulged and I scrambled myself to my feet as fast as I could. Quickly I jumped over to the side of the dropship where Murphy had stood that night after he killed Connor, and I waited.
"What the fuck ever, moses." Murphy yelled back as he threw open the curtain, storming down a few feet away from the dropship before stopping and letting out a deep sigh. He stood there breathing for a moment before he turned around, and spotted me.
"You heard everything, didn't you?" Murphy asked rhetorically, watching me closely. The sadness in his eyes had disappeared slightly since I had seen him last.
"I'm sorry." I finally choked out, and it was so hard to keep my eyes on him while he gave me such an intense stare. "I don't know why I never told you."
"No." Murphy said as he took his eyes off me, looking away and shaking his head. "I know why. Because when the truth hurts too much, you avoid it entirely." He said, letting out a deep sigh. "That's why you never really talk about Reed being in Mount Weather. It's too much for you to face, so you don't face it at all."
Murphy knew me better than myself, and all I could do was nod and keep staring at him, hoping he'd say something. Anything reassuring, anything that would tell me that I hadn't hurt him. But I knew I had.
"I'm so sorry." I finally choked out, and as my body always did whenever everything became too much, it started to shake.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Rhy." Murphy finally said as he looked back at me and took a step closer. "Don't cry." Even though he said not to cry, it was near impossible to stop. "Riley, the only reason I had been mad at you was because it hurt me to see that you had been sad, but instead of letting me help you, you kept it a secret. So stop your crying. Stop worrying over every little thing that's happening."
I nodded at him, but still couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face. God, when did I become so damn emotional? Is this what caring about people was like, pain and tears?
"Why are you always so," I brought my hands up to my face to wipe away the tears that had fallen, "So you about everything. Why are you so nice, and caring?"
Murphy sighed, bringing his hands to his eyes to rub them before looking at me, "I'm always so," he let out a deep exhale, "So me about everything is because when I'm me, even when I go on a rampage, or get angry for people even looking at you, when I tell you that you can't even touch a gun, or I call you a dumbass, you're so you about it. Normal people don't put up with that kind of shit, Riley. Let alone look at me the way you do."
I could feel myself smiling, and I had to look away from him for a moment. My eyes went back to him when I heard him walking towards me.
"I've killed people, Riley." he admitted as he stopped a foot in front of me, "And I liked it. And I would kill again if it was because someone hurt you."
"Stop making yourself sound like a villain." I said, frowning at the serious expression on his face, "I'm just as fucked up as you. I like it when you get jealous over dumb things, and I like that shitty shit eating smirk you do whenever you say anything that embarrasses me. I like how you know just want to say to me, to either comfort me or to piss me off, or.."
I stopped speaking when Murphy finally closed the distance between us. All I could think about suddenly became his lips, and how much I missed them against mine. As if he could hear what I was thinking, (And it was probably written all over my face.) He lowered his head to mine, our lips having a get together while my hands flew up to wrap around his neck. One of his hands went to the back of my neck, making sure the kiss wouldn't end anytime soon as his other hand went to my hip, and had no problem sneaking itself under my shirt as it moved to the middle of my back. Just incase there had been any room between us, his hand on my back pushed me closer into him, ensuring that no space would be made in between us.
My brain was on meltdown mode, and all I could think about was keeping his lips against mine. Letting him part my mouth open with them, everything about him. I could feel his smile, and instead of breaking the kiss, he continued. We kissed each other just like the touch deprived teenagers we were. We kissed each other almost as if our lives depended on our mouths remaining touching.
Finally our lips parted as we both desperately tried to breathe. "We should stop, now." Murphy said between breathes, and everything about his tone showed how hard it was for him to say that.
Instead of listening to himself however he stole another kiss, before he forced his mouth away from mine, resting his forehead against mine. "Riley please, just push yourself away from me."
"What?" Okay, now he was just being rude. Funny how that always seemed to happen. We'd have a moment, and it'd be all fun and games and then he'd be rude.
"If you don't get yourself away from me, I don't think I'll be able to stop." He said between deep breathes.
Oh. Oh. His arms loosened around me and as my eyes shot open in surprise, I forced myself to take my arms away from him and take a step back.
Everything was breaching strange territory for us. We knew you know, about the birds and the bees and all that shit. But we were both locked up in a maximum security prison before we really got to that point with anyone, let alone each other. He may have made jokes about it before, but now everything was actually serious.
"Farther." He said, shifting slightly and as he kept his eyes closed, still taking deep breathes. I quickly took another step away from him. "Farther." He said again.
"Okay seriously, are we going to spend the rest of our lives three feet away from each other?" I finally huffed out.
He started to laugh before shaking his head. "I sure fucking hope to god we don't." He whispered. "Just give me a moment, okay?"
"I don't really understand." I finally admitted. This had never happened before when we'd kiss. Normally it'd end and he'd say something to piss me off, and that would be that.
"I guess you weren't the only one avoiding stuff." He said as he shrugged, his eyes still closed. After a few moments of silence he opened his eyes, looking into mine. "There's a lot of stuff we missed out on talking to each other about. Like normal couple-relationship things. Things that some day, soon hopefully," queue shit eating smirk, "We will talk about. Until then, go into the dropship and go to sleep. You're stuck in a relationship with me for the long haul, whether or not you like it."
I couldn't help but smile back at him, blushing slightly. "Good."
Murphy laughed at my response, shaking his head, "You're not supposed to find 'whether or not you like it' a good thing, Rhy." He said as he continued to laugh.
"Well too fucking bad jerk face. 'cause I do." I spat back at him, frowning slightly.
All he could do was smile though and laugh, before nodding his head and saying, "Yeah, you're definitely stuck with me whether or not you like it now."