"tripping over my self, aching, begging you to come help."
When Daniel woke every part of him hurt.
It started with a dull, distant ache in his bones, but as his eyes opened they began to burn from the bright light of the room.
His mouth tasted like metal, his leg was on fire, and his abdomen felt like it had knives impaled into it from every side.
He sucked in a breath and groaned in pain. Even breathing hurt.
He couldn't open his eyes to see where he was, and slowly panic set in.
His mind instantly went to the worst case scenario. Had he been captured? Was the rest of his convoy dead?
He had already lost his squad before his own eyes. He wasn't sure what he would do if no one had made it out but him. He had failed in every sense of the word.
Maybe he'd just let his captors have there way with him. His men were dead, he would never be reunited with Emily, what difference did it make to him if he was picked apart piece by piece by some innie bastard if he was never going to see anyone he cared about again?
As his vision cleared a large UNSC logo, printed onto fabric came into view above him. The smell of blood and disinfectant tinged the air around him, and the sound of a heart rate monitor broke the silence around him. This was a trauma tent. He had made it out, and that meant others had as well.
"Daniel?" He heard someone call to him.
Even though he could barely hear anything above the ringing in his ears, he recognized the voice that spoke to him instantly, and he would have recognized it anywhere else.
Emily.
His eyes snapped open. He ignored the pain of the light as lances of it pierced his vision to find her.
He had to see her radiant smile and her kind eyes. He needed to know she was by his side so he could tell her what he had wanted to for so long.
What he found when his eyes opened, however, was not the same Emily he had left behind.
Her face was smeared with blood that had been hastily wiped away, leaving streaks of it near her hair line and jaw. Her BDUs were soaked in blood as well, all tinted a bright red. Her eyes were gazing at him hopefully, but they were racked with emotional pain, the kind that makes you want to cry out for no other reason than to feel something else besides it.
Tears began to stream down her face, cutting small rivers through it and pooling at the collar of her BDU. Without a second of hesitation she wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her head securely into the space between his neck and his shoulder.
His heart leapt into his chest as he felt her touch while his aching body screamed in protest, but he managed to keep his reaction down to a slight wince.
Emily certainly didn't look like she was in any condition to see him do much more.
"You're alive. You're awake," she said, her voice muffled by the skin of his neck.
She sounded elated, and the death grip she had on him confirmed his suspicions.
In a way he was happy to get this reaction out of her. It made so many of his feelings for her seem so much more real, but at the same time he never wanted to have put someone through this kind of pain. Quickly his thoughts changed from happiness to guilt.
His mind wandered to his unit as he began to think of all the pain that had been suffered today. He glanced around the room to see if anyone else was here, and saw nothing but empty beds.
They had been only seconds from being overrun when they had pulled him off the road, had any of them made it out alive? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if they had all died while he laid unconscious on the road doing nothing.
"Emily," he said softly, "who else made it out?"
She paused her sobs for a moment before speaking shakily.
"Four dead in your squad, nineteen dead in the company," she said before choking up.
She didn't look like she was ready to talk abut the number of broken bodies she had seen. Between the dead and the wounded she had probably seen more tonight than he had in his career.
But while she choked up, the shock and reality of the situation settled in for Daniel. Most of those men he didn't know, but the four that he did had been his close friends. He didn't even know who was dead and who was alive. Any one of his men could have died in that explosion.
Guilt washed over him like freezing cold water, and he let go of Emily. How could he take comfort in her while so many of his men lay dead in the sand? He should have been out there with them, fighting and dying not laying around on his ass.
"Daniel?" She asked when he let go.
He didn't respond, and stared at the ceiling for a moment longer.
"Four dead," he said angrily, "God dammit."
Four men would never get to see their families again because of his decision, four good men. How could he live with that on his conscience?
"Daniel!" Scolded Emily, her voice suddenly firm and commanding.
Daniel shook his head and continued to stare at the ceiling. Why had he been lucky enough to be in a vehicle for the explosion? Any one of those men deserved his place infinitely more than he did.
"It should have been me," he whispered.
Emily went wide eyed as the though of him laying dead before her crossed his mind once again. Her eyes became glassy as she wrapped her arms forcefully around him once again.
"No," she said insistently, "no, please no. Don't think that."
Daniel almost pushed her away out of guilt, but the pain that rested in her eyes woke him up to the kind of hell Emily was going through. She had seen those men and many others die as well. Some of them had probably died right here on her operating table where she was expected to do the impossible and save them. She had worried about him dying for most of the last year, and he had been close to dying an hour ago.
This wasn't just about him. She had seen every bit as much blood as a result of this as he had, and need every bit as much comfort as he did, and she didn't deserve to be left cold and alone because of it.
"I'm so sorry," he tried to say, but she wouldn't hear it.
She simply buried her head deeper into his neck and sobbed.
"When I saw you I, I, I thought, I knew, oh god there was so much blood," she rambled against him, her tears choking her words and soaking through the fabric of the cot he was laying on, "please, don't go. I can't see you like that again. Let me help you."
His instinct to fight her still raged, but he conceded and wrapped his arms around her. Maybe if he held her close enough he could forget all of that for a moment.
Emily continued to hold him lovingly in place the whole time. He couldn't imagine what she was going through.
He could only guess that the blood that soaked her uniform now had come from him, and that she had been among the doctors that had operated on him. If he had had to do such a thing to her he wasn't sure he would have been able to keep from breaking down crying.
He slowly and gently brought a hand up to the back of her head, letting it rest against her neck and her auburn hair. He ignored the discomfort it caused him and began to rub gently against her neck and attempted to quiet her as best he could.
He didn't want to see her in this pained state any longer.
"Hey, it's ok Emily. I'm fine," he said reassuringly, "you did good."
Slowly but surely she began to calm down and her breathing began to slow. She released him from her grasp and all but fell backwards into the chair she had been sitting in, letting her hand slide to his and her head slump forward onto the side of his bed.
His heart rate stayed elevated as she squeezed his hand. He could only hope she meant the gesture as something more than friendly, but he remained silent as she got her breathing under control, and squeezed her hand as tightly as he could manage in the state he was in to help her.
"Daniel, I, I'm so sorry," she said when she regained her composure.
She pulled her head from the bed and looked him in the eye, her expression incredulous.
He shook his head and squeezed her hand gently.
"What do you have to be sorry about?" He asked with a smile, "you saved my life."
Her mood didn't seem to improve, and she cast her eyes downward once again.
"It's not that, Daniel," she said before her voice caught in her throat, "I love you."
Daniel's heart nearly stopped as those simple words came out of her mouth.
He had never imagined he would hear them out of her. He had hoped, he had wished, but something had always told him there was no way she could feel that way about him. For a moment he couldn't speak, and could hardly think about anything else, but when Daniel failed to respond to her after a moment she nervously let go of his hand.
"I'm so sorry," she said quietly, her eyes downcast, "I shouldn't be telling you this now. I don't want to make things awkward."
Before she could move any farther, however, he caught her hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing it gently and letting his actions speak for him. He wasn't about to let his friend feel pained any longer.
Hope shot through her eyes when she felt his lips meet her hand, and she looked at him with longing.
"I love you too Emily," she said, a smile on his face, "God does it feel great to say that."
She a tear fell down her face as a smile curled onto her face. She didn't hesitate to wipe it away before leaning in to kiss him.
Their lips met tenderly at first, but neither of them stayed calm for long. Daniel held onto her with all his strength, and pressed his lips to hers intently, needing her healing embrace more than anything right now.
Her strawberry lip gloss hit the metal taste of his mouth like a firework and sent adrenaline pulsing through him.
He pulled her onto the bed and to his side, wrapping his arms around her waist. Every part of him hurt, but the pain numbing feeling of her lips made it bearable.
He knew he couldn't forget the death he had seen today for forever, but more than anything he needed her to trick him into thinking he could. Even a moment of calm in the storm would be life saving for him right now.
When they broke he tucked her head close to his chest and rubbed the back of her head gently, calming her. The thought of just how against regulation this was had drifted from his mind. Fighting for so long had brought him to the point where he could care less.
She placed a tender hand on his cheek, and he leaned into her touch, trapping her hand between his head and the pillow and closing his eyes.
He threaded one of his hands into her silky auburn hair, and for a peaceful moment, they both lay still by each other's side, taking in the feeling of having each other close for the first time. They had both wanted this for so long, and the trust shared between them allowed each of them to relax in a way neither of them had in years.
When their eyes broke open and they looked at each other it was a look of happiness, and there was a mutual smile between them.
"You're going home," she said quietly, a hint of happiness in her voice.
He knew he should have been as happy to go home as she was, but still he visibly tensed at the thought of leaving. If he went home now he would leave his men here without him. Surely there was something he could do, or an administrative position he could take? The most unbearable part of it for him, however, was leaving without her. She would probably have another two or three months down range before pulling out. He knew he'd have trouble sleeping worrying about what would happen to her.
He knew better than to suggest this to Emily, however. She didn't look like she could stand worrying about him dying for a moment longer, and the longer he was here the more that worry would increase.
So he forced a smile and kissed her gently on the cheek, letting her head fold closer to his chest.
"Will you find me when you get home?" He asked hopefully.
She answered his question by sealing his lips with a searing kiss.
He laced his fingers into her hair and held her there, enjoying the feeling of having her close more than anything in the world.
When they broke she relaxed at his side and smiled.
"Always," she said gently.
She stayed by his side for a moment longer, but both of them knew she couldn't stay long. They still had a duty to the UNSC to uphold, and they couldn't let this get in the way, no matter how much they wanted it to.
"I'll miss you," he said softly.
She smiled reassuringly at him and nodded.
"Sure you'll survive without me?" She asked.
Daniel smiled at the return of her sarcasm and closed his eyes, the need to sleep washing over him.
"I'll make it," he said firmly, "but I'd rather have you by my side."
Emily smiled before standing reluctantly and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. She couldn't be more happy that he had found a place in his heart for her, and she wanted to make sure he knew that.
"Get some rest," she said, "doctor's orders."
Daniel laughed and rolled onto his back, relaxing into the cot.
"Sure you don't want to put me under observation?" He asked with a smile, "you know, to make sure I don't go anywhere?"
Emily rolled her eyes dramatically before spinning and walking away.
"Goodnight, Sergeant Turner," she said formally before turning off the lights.
He laughed softly at the comment before relaxing back onto his cot.
"Goodnight Emily," he replied, eliciting a smile from her that was hidden by the dark.
Emily went about her duties for the rest of the night. Her duty to the UNSC was still paramount, but still, she always remembered to check in on him periodically and make sure he was still comfortable.
The sound of his steady breathing soothed her as he slept. It was a good sound to hear, and one so many no longer had the ability to make after leaving this room. She knew as long as she could hear it he was still alive and with her.
Once or twice when she walked in he was rolling violently, tossing back and forth as terrible dreams raged in his head. She walked over, placed a gentle hand over his, and began to hum to him softly. She didn't hum any tune in particular, but the sound of her voice seemed to be enough to sooth him until he settled down and stopped moving, letting himself rest peacefully once again.
She always ended up staying with him a few moments longer than she intended to. It wasn't enough to put her duty at risk, but still, it was noticeable.
Emily knew he still had a lot of recovering to do, and his physical injuries weren't the end of it, but she had seen hopeless cases saved on the battlefield before, and she was sure he would make it, one way or another.
"And oh without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches."