She didn't know how she always found herself here. It had happened by accident one night and she'd been coming back ever since. Before, she had talked to her father. But after finding out that he wasn't actually dead, she felt silly for talking to a marker with his name on it.

She'd been drunk and stumbled to her usual place. It was only after she was staring at the name in front of her, that she realized why she'd come there, "I guess I'll talk to you now."

And she had. She'd talked about everything in her life. She'd come there when times got hard or when she was feeling down. She apologized over and over again for the Kryptonite sword and always swore that if she had it to do all over again, she wouldn't have done it the same way.

It had been months since she'd first stumbled upon Astra's headstone marker in the city's cemetery. She knew that the woman wasn't actually there, her pod who knows where off in space. But it made her feel better to talk through her problems or through anything really. She hated talking to Kara and worrying her and she couldn't call her mother. This was the best thing for her.

Kara had bought the space in the cemetery as a reminder for herself. She'd wanted just a little bit of Earth's customs too, but she never visited and probably didn't think much about it at all.

But Alex did. She was there at least once a week. Always when no one else was around to hear her or see her. But she was always there.

oooOOooOOooo

"Your niece is an idiot," Was mumbled out as she picked at a blade of grass beside her. She'd sat down cross legged on the ground while she spoke today but wouldn't look directly at the name on the stone in front of her, "I mean, it's completely obvious that she has a thing for Cat. I told her to just go for it, but you know Kara."

She trailed off and sighed, "I don't know what I'm doing here. We didn't even like each other," She drew her knees up now and hugged them to her chest, "I'm sure if you were here, you would think this was odd. I mean, I even think this is odd. But I don't really have friends and it's probably sad on my part to say so, but besides Lucy, I think you may have been the closest thing I had to a friend."

Alex shifted around for a few moments, "What does that say about me? My closest friend was someone who I killed? Who tried to kill me multiple times? That's an odd friendship, huh?"

She sat there for a few more moments, finally looking up and facing the name on the stone. She stood quietly and brushed herself off, "Well, I'll be back later I guess."

oooOOooOOooo

"Kara told me today would have been your birthday," Alex stood in the pouring ran with her hands tucked into her pockets and her jacket wrapped tightly around you, "I'm sorry you're not here to see it."

She stared at the name on the stone for a long moment, "Happy Birthday, General."

oooOOooOOooo

"I know I tell you all of the awful stuff usually, but I have good news today," Alex grinned as she sat down cross legged, "We have a lead on my dad and I can just feel us getting close to finding him."

She sighed happily, "By the way, Kara is even more in love with Cat and is still being stubborn. I'll be glad when she just realizes it for herself."

oooOOooOOooo

"I got shot today," Alex mumbled. She wasn't supposed to be driving, so she'd made the walk to the cemetery. Kara was probably at her apartment by now since she'd been ignoring her phone calls.

The woman stood in front of the stone with one arm in a sling and ran her other hand through her hair, "I don't think you'd care or anything. But I don't want to talk about it with anyone else."

"I had him. I had him and I knew it," She paused and kicked at a patch of grass with the toe of her boot, "And then you flashed in my mind and I was behind him with a damn knife. And I just couldn't do it," She shrugged.

The woman looked around her and took in the emptiness, "I'm sorry you're here like this. Wherever it is that you are anyway. I'm sorry."

oooOOooOOooo

"Cat asked Kara out last night," Was said in disbelief, "Kara choked so hard on the sip of water she had just taken that Cat was actually worried that she was about to suffocate."

Alex shook her head remembering Kara's wide eyes while she replayed the story to her sister, "My sister. That girl is blind some times. Even with her super vision," She laughed, "So after she stopped choking like a literal human, she said yes."

Alex bit her lip, "I'm sorry you're not here to see her be in love," The woman twisted her fingers, "They have a date tonight. I think she even invited Carter. Kara's just that way."

oooOOooOOooo

"You know, I think maybe if we had met under different circumstances, we could have been friends," Alex shrugged, "I dunno though. I guess I'll never know now."

She turns away and takes a few steps before stopping and shaking her head, "I'm sorry. Again. I know, you're probably tired of that line. But I can't stop saying it. I can't stop thinking it. I can't stop playing that moment over and over again in my head. So, I'm sorry."

oooOOooOOooo

"I met Carter today," Alex said as she walked up. She'd been off today and had harassed Kara until her sister had told her to meet her somewhere and given her directions, "Of course, I probably looked like an idiot playing skeeball and air hockey in that arcade, but I guess that's a part of life."

The woman sighed and let her shoulders relax, "He's a great kid. He's got that same puppy dog pout that Kara has. You know the one."

oooOOooOOooo

"I don't have much to say today," Was huffed out as she sat on the grass in front of the stone that she's come to consider her only confidant, "I just felt like being here."

She sat in silence for a long time. Playing at the grass, running her finger tips along the carved name in front of her, wishing for the millionth time that she hadn't done what she'd done.

"Excuse me?" Alex jumped. She'd been so lost in her own thoughts that she'd let her guard down. Just to the right of her, is an elderly woman with a soft smile on her face, "She meant a lot to you did she?"

Alex looked from the woman to the stone. She stares for a long moment before looking back to her, "A lot more than I realized," Is finally mumbled out and the woman nods.

"It gets easier, dear," Alex just bobs her head and the woman takes her cue to leave. The agent glances back at the stone as she stands.

"I'm sorry, Astra."

oooOOooOOooo

"You damn Kryptonian," Is said between her tears as her voice breaks and her breath hitches, "You're supposed to be damn near indestructible."

She swiped harshly at her face, "You're not supposed to go down that easily!"

She's seething and she's shaking and she can't see straight. Alex leaned forward and braces her palms against the cool, smooth stone, "You're supposed to still be here."

The woman shakes her head, "I know I'm mad at the wrong person," She finally mumbles quietly, "But I can't get that damn image of you dying out of my head."

The woman walks away after making her usual apology.

oooOOooOOooo

"I always meant to ask you something," Is said thoughtfully as she stands before the stone in the bright sun of the day, "How'd you get that white streak in your hair?"

She brushes her own hair out of her face as the wind blows it around, "I mean, I've seen Alura and she doesn't have one."

She shrugs, "Were you just tired of looking like her?" The woman stares into the blue expanse of the sky above her, "Were you tired of never being the perfect sister?"

When the sky doesn't give her any answers, she sighs, "I could understand that one."

oooOOooOOooo

She's sat with her legs out in front of her. The hard name is emblazoned on the rock and stares back. She'd been sat here like this for at least an hour.

No words come today. This happens sometimes. But she still finds her way here and just sits in silence.

The woman's ears perk as she hears footsteps behind her and decides that she should probably leave.

The steps stop as they near her and she hopes that whoever it is will just move on and not speak to her.

"Brave One?" She gasps and turns.

"Astra?"