Hello again, lovely people. It's the moment you've all been waiting for...I hope you like it :)
Thanks to my dear friend, Magnificent Oak Tree, for your assistance in this matter.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. As usual. *sighs*
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Cragen opened the door to a stately older woman with black hair and an easy smile.
"You must be Eileen," Elliot greeted her, holding out a hand. They shook as Cragen introduced them.
"Eileen, this is Elliot."
Her face lit up in recognition. "Your old detective!"
"That's right."
"Wow, guess I'm pretty famous around here, Cap."
"We did work together for 15 years, Elliot."
"So," Eileen studied him, hands on her hips. "Where exactly have you been for the past four years?"
He hesitated, but Cragen put a hand on his shoulder. "Elliot was attacked. He's been in a coma until a few weeks ago."
She looked as if she had been slapped. "You poor boy. All this time, and nobody knew?"
He smiled sadly at her, slightly amused that he was calling a 49 year old like himself a boy. "Yup."
Eileen made a distressed noise and waved her hands dismissively. "It's no matter now. Come in, come in, are you hungry? I just made pancakes and bacon…" Elliot was feeling rather flustered as he was dragged into the kitchen, but it didn't take him long to realize how hungry he was. Four years of I.V. nutrition had really done a number on him. Real food felt like a blessing.
"Eileen," he mumbled through a big mouthful of pancakes. "Don is a lucky man."
She laughed lightly, and a pang went through his heart. Olivia. He didn't think a day would go by when this didn't tear him up, and he could only imagine how much worse it was for her. He swallowed, blinking tears away again.
"Cap," his voice was breaking, and he was worried that he wouldn't be able to explain himself, but Cragen just nodded.
"I got it, El. I'll do it right now, if you want."
He took a shaky breath, eyes burning as he studied at Cragen's cell phone. He wondered how many times Olivia had tried to call him, what the bastards who had taken his phone must have thought. Elliot was ready to take back what was his. "Do it."
Elliot watched as Cragen dialed, hardly daring to breathe.
"Olivia!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, we did get back, it was incredible. Listen…"
He was starting to panic, and stuffed more pancakes in his mouth, trying desperately to calm down.
"Mmhmm. Okay."
Cragen hung up, and looked at Elliot apprehensively. "She's coming now," he said flatly.
Elliot could have sworn his heart stopped. He choked on his pancakes, eyes watering. "Damn," he whispered. "Damn it. What am I going to say?" He had been counting on having some time to prepare himself, to think of something to say that could make up for four years of silence. But if it had been me, I wouldn't have waited another moment either. He allowed himself to hope that maybe it was a good sign.
He couldn't stop pacing, wringing his hands. What would she be like? Would she think about forgiving him? Would she–he jumped at the doorbell, and looked at it like a deer in the headlights. Don walked past him, and rested his hand on his shoulder for a moment.
"You'll be alright, El." But even he could see that Don was nervous, too.
The door opened, and Elliot's world stopped. There she was. Undeniably Olivia. It was a million little details about her that made him want to fall apart. The way light seemed to shoot through her glossy dark hair. The bronze glow of her skin, the fierceness in her brown gaze. She was older, but not just with smile lines. Elliot felt himself crumble as he recognized the ghosts of old screams etched into her face, felt himself melt away as she walked up to him with a rush of familiar coffee scent. Being so close to her made his heart ache. Olivia was still Olivia, but like everything else, she was different. He didn't know what it was, he couldn't stop staring into the intense brown of her eyes to try to figure it out. Finally, she spoke, and her voice was strange with pain.
"I thought you left me."
He had wanted to stay stoic. She deserved more than him falling apart on her. But that one sentence, the halting way she spoke, as if he were a stranger… he twisted his face, unsuccessfully trying to keep the hot tears from betraying him. How could anyone have done this to them? She was his partner.
"Olivia," came his strangled voice. "I could never leave you. I–" I need you just to breathe. "You're my partner." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to blame himself for what somebody else had done. "This is all my fault," he blurted. "I should have been there, Liv. I should have been there when you needed me, not asleep." He practically spat the word. "I would have murdered him–"
"I almost did," she said suddenly, glancing self-consciously at Cragen. He took the hint and walked out.
Elliot blinked. "What?"
She dragged a hand through her hair, sinking onto a lonely chair. "When he had me the first time. I got the upper hand, and I–I guess I didn't know what to do." She laughed, a little, ridiculous laugh. "I kept asking myself what you do. And I knew, of course I knew."
She paused, a far-off look in her eye that terrified him. "I was so close." There was an undercurrent to her words that made him wonder exactly what she meant by that.
"Why didn't you?" He whispered, scarcely able to believe that they were talking about it. Then again, they had never been much for empty words.
Olivia turned to look at him, with a crooked smile and cold eyes. "I thought I did."
Damn. Now it was his turn to sit down.
"So you see," she continued. "It was really my fault. If I had just followed through, made sure, it wouldn't have happened again. I didn't do my job."
"It wasn't your job to kill him," Elliot protested.
"Four new victims." Her lip was trembling, eyes ragged with unshed tears. He just wanted to take her into his arms, to make the pain stop. He had never seen her so haunted, not even after Sealview. "That's what came of my hesitation. You wouldn't have hesitated, El. You would have just stopped it." With startling abruptness, she stood and stared back at him with wild eyes. "Who would have done this, Elliot? Who could have done this to us?"
Just like that, they had become us, and Elliot had become El. It was like coming home. Everything else had changed, but he allowed himself to hope that maybe he and Olivia could survive the eroding of time.
He shook his head, realizing that an answer was needed. "I thought it might have been Lewis." There was a tiny flinch, almost imperceptible, but he saw it and immediately cursed himself for being so thoughtless. "But Cragen told me he was dead."
"What about Victor Tate?"
Now it was his turn to flinch. The innocent man he had sentenced to life in prison. "Maybe. But I doubt it...He's a good man. Stuck to his guns all this time, why screw up now?"
She nodded a little, thinking. "Maybe Ray Schenkel?"
"Jesus. I don't know, I guess he could have contacted somebody from prison."
"Gordon Rickett?
He laughed a little, shaking his head. "I'm not exactly popular, am I?"
A smile flickered over her face. "You're not going to win Prom King, if that's what you're asking."
"Thank God," he smirked. "Once was enough."
For a moment she stared at him, incredulous, until she burst out laughing. It wasn't exactly his proudest moment, but he would tell her every one of his most embarrassing secrets if it meant keeping her smiling. "You're not serious?"
"Unfortunately, I am very serious. The cheerleaders loved me."
She pursed her lips, trying not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. "Oh, I would love to see a picture of that."
"Sorry, I burned them."
"Drat," she snapped her fingers. Her smiled faded as the two settled into a painful sort of silence, both remembering the circumstances surrounding their meeting. She sat back down, this time closer, and guilt clawed at his stomach.
"Do you want to punch me or something?" Elliot asked, voice strained. "If it would help, you can beat me up as much as you want."
Her eyes shot up to his, and a smile tugged at her lips. He could just watch her smile all day. "I've really missed you, El," she said softly. "And you're right, I have been angry. But now that I know...You're not the one I want to get for this."
Another silence fell, this one sad, as they thought of everything that had been stolen from them.
Olivia lowered her eyes, studying the carpet as intensely as if it were a crime scene. "Right now, we have to figure out who's trying to kill you. And then you have to call Kathy and see your kids."
"Kathy and I are divorced," he blurted out. Olivia looked like she'd been hit between the eyes, but she was doing a strange thing with her lips that he couldn't quite figure out. Like she was chewing them or something.
"I'm sorry," she offered softly.
"Mm," he responded. "And my kids…God, they must think I abandoned them. I've been gone for four years." He gave a deep, shuddering sigh. "Eli is 8, Liv. Kathy is 25. How can I face that? My children have grown up. I don't know them anymore."
She put a strong hand on his, giving him a moment of sympathy. He looked up at the sudden touch, startled. Her voice was soft, holding every drop of compassion she had ever given to a victim, only it was for him. "El, your kids need you. They need you to be strong for them. They've gone long enough without their father."
He couldn't stop looking at her. He had done nothing, nothing at all to deserve having her in his life. "You're right," he admitted shakily. "I need to go home."
"Sorry to interrupt, you two, but that might not be the best idea." Elliot started. He hadn't even realized that Don had come back.
"What do you mean?" He frowned. "I'm their father, aren't I?"
"Of course you are, El. But how do you plan on seeing them without making yourself known?"
"I–"
"Captain, you could just invite the Stablers over, couldn't you?" Olivia asked. "Just tell them it's for dinner."
Cragen shook his head. "Look, from this point on, we operate under the assumption that we're being watched. It's not so strange that you should be here, Olivia, although if it is the middle of the night. But the Stablers? After how many years? That would send up about a hundred red flags."
"So what am I supposed to do?" Elliot scoffed. "Just pretend to be dead until I actually am?"
"No, Elliot, Cragen is right." She sighed with the realization, clearly thinking hard. "You have to lie low for a while until we figure this out. Until it's safe. That doesn't mean we can't find a way for you to see your kids, but...You can't just run around like everything is normal."
Nothing is normal, he remembered dully. He sighed. "Fine. Whatever."
Olivia hesitated, seeming to consider something. "How are you at babysitting?"
He blinked at her, confused. "I've had five kids. I think I can handle myself." Suddenly, he wondered what he was agreeing to. "Why are you asking?"
She regarded him for several long moments. "Do you want to meet my son?"
His mouth fell open. "You have a son?" Was his voice normally that squeaky?
Olivia smiled radiantly. "His name is Noah."
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Ooh, drama. Review for a cookie! Next time...El meets the whole squad. Will he get punched? Follow to find out.
xoxo