11 Days till Season 17! Whoo!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
As Olivia told his story to the squad over Chinese food, Elliot became aware that everybody in the room was staring at him much like you might stare at a ghost. It was clear that they knew who he was, and were trying to reconcile what they had heard with what was sitting in front of them eating Lo Mein. He found himself starting back openly at the people who had filled his precinct in his absence. Nick Amaro and Barba met his eyes with obvious, carefully controlled anger that he knew instinctively concerned Olivia. One word, and they would destroy him. It was a brutal reminder; he wasn't her partner anymore, he was the bastard who had left her. He tried to feel glad that she had people in her life who had been there for her, people who would protect her, but the realization stung more than anything else.
He realized that Olivia had stopped talking, and a deafening silence had fallen. They were all staring openly, now, and he met Olivia's eyes with a little alarm. He couldn't stand to have all these eyes on him; it made him want to run out the door. She was about to say something more to fill the emptiness when Nick Amaro broke the spell.
"So let's just take this like a normal case," he started. "Off the books, of course. We'll go back to the crime scene, look for old witnesses. The usual."
As he spoke, Elliot felt everyone in the room agree with him. Somehow, they had reached a wordless consensus.
"Alright," Olivia said, relieved. "And you're all up for this?"
"Of course we are, Liv," Amanda said as everyone nodded. "I think that our first priority should be to interview the hospital staff. Nick, you want to take that?"
Elliot felt weak with relief. He had been out of his element for so long. But if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was solve crimes.
"Sure," Amaro said. "Barba, it might help to have a suit around."
"I'll be there," he promised.
"Liv, somebody had better talk to Kathy," Fin said. "You want me to come with you?"
She hesitated. "Yeah, Fin. Some backup would be great, thanks."
"Okay."
"Hey, wait, I want in on this." Munch interjected. "Retirement can wait, Elliot needs us.
"Same here," Cragen said as Elliot smiled gratefully. "Where do you need us, Liv?"
She smiled at them. "How about you check out the crime scene? El, do you know where it is?"
Remembering the crumpled piece of paper in his jacket, he handed it to them. "I asked when I got out. Figured it might come in handy."
Cragen nodded. "We'll take it first thing tomorrow."
"Thanks, guys," Elliot said sincerely. "Really."
"Okay," Olivia said. "It seems like we have a solid plan…"
"Wait, Sarge, what about me?" Carisi looked confused. "I mean, I know I don't exactly know you, Elliot, but I still want to help."
"Oh," Olivia said. "Um…"
"Maybe you could bring me my old files?" Elliot offered. "I know it's not the most exciting job in the world, but I need to start thinking about the people I've put away."
"Yeah," he lit up. "I'm on it. And if you want some help, somebody to bounce ideas off of..."
"Uh, I'll let you know."
"I'll show them to you tomorrow, Carisi." Olivia looked around at her team with a bit of hope in her gaze. "I think that we're going to get some answers," she said thoughtfully. "I have my theories, but...It'll be good to fill in some more blanks. Thank you guys."
"Yeah," Elliot said suddenly, meeting all of their eyes. "I know that you're not doing this for me. At least, most of you aren't. But...thank you."
They nodded a little in response. "Sure," Amaro said to fill the silence.
"Okay," Olivia said, a smile playing on her lips. "Is that everything?"
"We should see his scar," Barba said abruptly. "Show it to Warner. Maybe she could tell what kind of knife it was."
Everybody was nodding in agreement. Elliot put a hand to the back of his head uncomfortably; he could feel the strangeness of the scarred skin on his skull, and thought for a moment that he remembered something. There was burning pain and blackness, but the memory was so strange that he was sure it must have been something he had dreamed.
"I wish she was here," Olivia said. "Her dog, Petey, got sick and she had to take him to the vet."
"Tomorrow," Barba promised, eyes not leaving Elliot. There was something about this guy...Elliot's good mood had vanished in an instant. Barba was really pissing Elliot off.
"Nice suspenders," Elliot offered with a smirk, knowing full well that he was being childish. Barba's quick grin made it seem like he had just been invited to a fabulous party instead of insulted.
"Thanks," He replied immediately. "Liv said the same thing today. I think they're really working for me."
Elliot narrowed his eyes, knowing he had dropped the nickname intentionally. He didn't want this guy to call her Liv.
"I also think we should be considering anyone involved in the Jenna Fox case. The timing feels too...deliberate." Elliot looked back at Barba, shaken. Why did he know about Jenna? The man was shorter than he was, but there was something dangerous about him. Elliot got the feeling he wasn't the kind of man you wanted for an enemy. He also knew that he hated him.
"We've had plenty of tough cases," he pushed back, unsettled.
"Plenty of tough cases that culminated in a shootout in your precinct?" Barba looked at him with obvious contempt for his intelligence. How stupid are you? His gaze seemed to say. "I didn't think so."
"Listen, I don't know who you think you are–" They were both standing up now, face to face.
"I'm the guy who was here when you weren't. But then again, so is Amaro, and Fin, and–"
"That's enough," Elliot growled. He didn't know what would have happened next if Noah hadn't started crying. Olivia got up, patting him on the back with glares for both of them.
"I'm going to put Noah to bed now. And if either of you even think about waking him up–" She finished her threat with a deadly glare and swept out of the room.
"Get it together, guys," Carisi said. "We're all on the same side here."
"You weren't here," Barba said, shaking his head with quiet venom. "You don't know."
"You think–you think I wouldn't have crawled over broken glass through Hell to be by her side?" He whispered. "You piece of shit. She was my partner for 12 years." He had to stop, his voice was shaking too violently.
Barba met his eyes. "But not when it counted."
He swallowed slowly, suddenly measuring the distance between them in the seconds it would take to cross it. He was itching to hit this hateful little man, to smash the conceit right off of his face. Breathe, insisted a quiet voice. Liv would never forgive you. He tore his eyes from Barba's with difficulty and breathed, the blood draining from his face. He sat down, feeling weak.
"Elliot's here now," Cragen said firmly, eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. "And he wouldn't be if Liv didn't want him here. So you two are going to get along, not because you can stand each other, but for her sake. Think you can handle that?"
They exchanged a glance, and he knew that neither of them could forget the others' crimes.
"I guess."
"Yeah." Barba agreed, eyes hostile. "Whatever she needs."
"So, Elliot," Munch intervened, changing the subject. "You thinking about coming back on as a detective?"
He blinked, startled. He didn't know if Olivia would even want him on. "I–"
Olivia reappeared, yawning.
"We should go," Amaro said quickly. "It's getting late, and we have a lot to do tomorrow."
"Yeah," Amanda and Carisi said at the same time. They looked at each other, caught between annoyance and amusement. "We'll see you tomorrow," she said, shaking her head confusedly.
"Okay," she said. "Thank you guys again for your help. I have a feeling that by this time tomorrow, we'll be a whole lot less clueless."
"I hope so," Barba said, grabbing his coat and putting a hand on her arm briefly, making meaningful eye contact. "I'll see you tomorrow, Liv."
She smiled at him with tired eyes, and nodded. "Bye, Rafi." Rafi? That sounded like a monkey. Elliot watched him leave after Amaro and Rollins, who each gave her a kind word and a promise of help on their way out.
"Well." Munch said, clapping a hand on his arm. "I'm glad you're alive, Elliot. SVU wasn't the same without you."
"Thanks, John," he smiled gratefully. Fin left right after him, and nodded a troubled goodbye to him.
"I'll get you those files," Carisi promised. "Can I bring them over tomorrow, Sarge?"
"Sure, Carisi. Maybe lunchtime would be best."
"All right," he agreed, grinning. "Great meeting you, Stabler. By the way, you can call me Sonny, everybody else does." Elliot blinked, trying not to smile. Not one person here had called him 'Sonny.'
"Okay," he said. "Bye...Sonny."
And finally, it was just the two of them. Elliot couldn't help but laugh. Sonny? He mouthed. She shook her head, and leaned back against the door, hiding a smile. They lapsed into a new sort of silence; there were still a million things left unsaid, but they were getting more comfortable around each other, and he was glad.
"So…" He said. "That's your new squad, huh?"
"Yep," she said, pushing herself off of the door and cleaning up the leftovers. He went to help her.
"Which one...Who was your new partner?"
She regarded him for a moment before answering. "Nick."
"Oh," he said. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. "He seems like a good guy."
"He is." A smile played on her lips. "Of course, I did hate him at first."
"What?" He was startled; his cheeks were growing warmer and he didn't know why.
Olivia looked at him like he was an absolute idiot. "He wasn't you." He opened his mouth, and then closed it. "Of course, once I gave him a chance, he turned out to be a great partner." She carried a pile of trash into the kitchen, lingering there for a moment. "He's moving to San Diego in a few weeks."
"Really," he said. "Why?" He couldn't imagine why anyone would want to leave New York.
"Lots of reasons…" She said mysteriously. "Now do you want to tell me what was going on between you and Barba?"
"Don't you mean Rafi?" He chewed on a smile.
Olivia narrowed her eyes a fraction. "Rafael is one of my best friends, Elliot. I trust him." He shook his head a little. I don't. "El," she said. "What is it that you hate so much about him? It can't just be his suspenders."
"They don't help," he said laughingly. She didn't smile. "All right, Liv. You want to know what it is with him? He acts...He acts like he owns you." So it wasn't the whole truth.
She laughed out loud. "And you don't?"
"I–" He stopped, memory betraying him. "I just care about you, that's all."
"So does he," she insisted earnestly. "And if you could stop and think about that, you'd realize that you're both on the same side."
He shook his head, and looked at her. "I'll try." But it was more than that. Barba had thrown his absence in his face. The pain he had caused her. You weren't here. You don't know. He was consumed again by thoughts of her abduction. "Liv–" He said, voice breaking. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and he studied her desperately. She was standing in front of him, so very real, and he just couldn't connect that with everything that he had heard. He needed answers. He needed to know what had happened to her.
"What, Elliot? What is it?"
He took a shaky breath, insides tearing apart. He couldn't. He couldn't ask her to relive that just to satisfy his morbid curiosity. "I just...I hope we figure this out soon," he blurted. "I miss my kids. And daylight."
Olivia smiled at him sympathetically. "I know how hard waiting is. But starting tomorrow, you won't be doing nothing. We should get some real answers." Her voice cut off in a yawn.
"You should go to bed," he said immediately. "I can finish cleaning up."
"Mm," she nodded. "Thanks. Goodnight, El."
"Night."
He watched her close the door behind her, and put the rest of the food away, finally left alone with his thoughts. He promised himself that he wouldn't ask Olivia about what had happened–he would let her tell him whenever, if ever, she wanted to. He just hoped that someday she would.
Exhausted after a long day, he sunk onto the couch, watching the moonlight cast strange shadows on the ceiling. He wondered what they would find in the investigation tomorrow. What would Kathy say? It struck him that her life had gained four years, too, and it might look very different now. He hoped she was doing well. Sleep finally caught up with him, and he was dragged under into a strange, drowning slumber. He dreamed that he was in a coma again, and spent the whole night struggling to wake up.