Disclaimer: I really don't want to keep writing this, so can we just assume that all my previous disclaimers extend to the rest of the story? Don't sue me :-)

Side note: There has been some confusion regarding Amaro and Barba's...less than friendly...reaction to Elliot. If you are among the confused, here is my explanation: They don't know him. They don't trust him. So they won't believe him about where he's been until they see proof. Which is why Barba asked to see the scar...Hope that makes sense.

...

Sleep had changed for Elliot since his coma.

It was a strange and terrifying state of semi-awareness. He remembered just enough to torture himself: that he had been in a coma, and that four years had disappeared in the blink of an eye. When he was sleeping, he didn't know if it was happening again, and his worst nightmare was that he had a terrible disease that knocked him out for years at a time. He dreamed that he woke up again in the hospital, and six more years had passed him by. Lewis was alive, and he had abducted Olivia again. Then he was back in a coma, and the next time, Olivia had been found murdered, and Noah was in foster care. He wanted to take care of him, but he was asleep again. Then his own kids didn't remember who he was; and then they remembered, and they hated him for leaving them. He was back in his coma, and the government had become corrupted and decided that rape wasn't a crime, disbanding the Special Victims' Unit. Somehow his dreams mixed with the Planet of the Apes, and the United States had fallen, starting with New York. He was back in the war as an old man, and the earth was exploding around him. His entire life was gone, just like that.

Elliot's eyes shot open, heart racing. What year was it? He pushed to his feet and raced to the door, trying to find some sort of newspaper. City lights shone in his eyes, and he slowly remembered where he was. Olivia's apartment. 2015. It had all been a dream. Elliot felt weak with terror; he was shaking violently, and drenched in cold sweat. His whole life had happened so quickly, the blink of an eye. The horror of his nightmares had shaken him, but that wasn't the worst of it. He understood now that time was an illusion, and that the only thing holding him in place was his fragile consciousness. It was a terrifying realization.

"Fuck," he whispered, clenching his fists as exhausted tears pricked at his eyes. He couldn't sleep anymore. He started pacing, feet light on the carpet, and measured his breathing, trying to instill a sense of calm in himself.

It didn't work. He pushed himself to keep going and watched as the blue night lightened by several shades, desperately wishing for morning. The night was suffocating, and he couldn't stand being alone in his own head.

"How long have you been up?"

He whirled around, heart hammering painfully in his chest. Olivia was in the kitchen, wearing a robe and a concerned frown.

"Not long," he said breathlessly, knowing it wasn't exactly true. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" His anxiety caught up with him and he found himself pacing again, needing to stay ahead of it. Ignoring the protests from his twisting muscles, it occurred to him with some amusement that maybe this was how he would get back in shape. By pacing all night long.

"No." She walked over to him, and caught him by the arm to stop his pacing. He tried to walk off again, and she put her hands on his shoulders to hold him in place. "Why are you pacing?"

"Am I?" He tried to laugh it off. "Just excited for the big day, I guess." The four walls were starting to close in on him. He couldn't leave. Just like the hospital, he couldn't leave. Elliot broke out of her hold and continued, weakened legs wobbling under him.

"Elliot," he turned around, not stopping. "El, what's going on?"

He hesitated, seeing the look on her face. He rubbed his eyes. "I just can't sleep anymore, that's all."

A few moments passed. "Alright," she said simply, sitting down on the couch and watching him. "Do you want to sit?"

He turned around, eyes wild with a primal fear, and softened a little at the sight of her. Her lips were pursed in concern, and a few strands of hair had fallen over her eyes. His hand itched to tuck them behind her ear, but he sat down, tempering his need.

He could still see the sleep in her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "This isn't fair, you're not the one who should be taking care of me after–" He stopped, cursing himself. How could he be so tactless?

"After Lewis? Elliot, I'm not the only person here who has gone through something horrible. What you lost–four years. And all the changes that come with that...I can't imagine."

He looked at her, and felt like he should have known. It would never occur to her to put herself first. Empathy was as much a part of her as the sun in the sky. And even though it didn't feel entirely right to lean on her now, he couldn't help but feel a deep gratitude for her compassion. He didn't want to admit it, but a part of him really needed her warmth right now. "Thanks, Liv...I just...I don't know how to get used to everything being so different. I feel like time is running away from me, I can't keep up."

Elliot looked down at a touch, and saw her hand on his. He felt shock; had they ever held hands before? Hers was strong and soft at the same time; callused, but gentle enough to melt his heart. She gave him a smile, and he found himself continuing without make a conscious decision to speak.

"What if I fall asleep again?" He whispered, staring out the window as he remembered the doctor telling him what year it was. "So much has changed. What if the next time I wake up, my whole life is gone?"

"El," she said with quiet passion. "I'll still be here. If it happens again, I'll know. I'll check the hospitals, I'll find you. And even if I'm 90 by the next time we talk, you'll still have a place in my life. I promise that you always will. We're partners, remember?" He blinked at her, trying to control the shaking in his hand. He tightened his grip on hers. "But," she continued softly. "There's no reason to think that that's going to happen. Do you have a doctor's appointment coming up?"

"Yeah," he said. "Two weeks."

"Why don't you see if you can move it up? I'm sure that they'll be able to tell you if you're in any danger. At least, any medical danger."

Why hadn't he thought of that? "Yeah. You're right, Liv. I'll do that first thing."

"Do you…" She hesitated. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Suddenly, he felt weak with relief. "You don't mind? I don't want to drag you..."

"Don't be ridiculous." She smiled, squeezing his hand. "You might need my kidney or something."

He looked over at her warmly, and chuckled quietly. He had missed her so much. They sat together, hand in hand, as the sun came up and the sky brightened into the warmest blue imaginable. The need for sleep was weighing heavily upon him, but he wasn't ready to try again. He could sense her getting ready to leave; her work day would be starting soon, and he tried not to cling to her hand with the desperation he was feeling. Eventually, she stood and stretched, letting go of him.

"I'd better get to work."

He nodded dumbly as she went to get dressed and check on Noah.

"Carisi's coming over at lunchtime, and I'll talk to Melinda about when she can make it." He could feel that there was more that she wanted to say, and he hoped that maybe she was starting to want to let him in again. "I know we have a lot to talk about, but...I'll see you tonight."

"Stay safe," he said as she opened the door. She nodded grimly and left, locking the door behind her. Exhaustion hit him like a truck, and he tried lying down on the couch again, blinking his dry eyes tiredly. Fear was still a living thing inside of him, but being with Olivia had provided him with just enough makeshift peace to doze off. He blinked his dry eyes slowly as sleep claimed him.

...

So...I have finally come up with some songs that I think work for EO.

Have you ever heard Untouchable by Taylor Swift? It's from the Fearless era. Some sample lyrics for you: "Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun/And when you're close I feel like coming undone."

Also, Missing Venus by Cynthia Catania. "Tell me what's on your mind, time/All that's come between us." And "We keep missing Venus," which is meant to imply the Roman goddess of love. But it only works for certain less happy parts of their relationship.

Your reviews make me smile, thanks for reading :) . Leave a review if you like.

xoxo