Chapter 18

'What the hell is going on?' was my first thought. Actually, my first thought, my very first thought, was 'this is nice…' but the first thought that counted, my first sane thought, was 'what the hell is going on?'; these thoughts, of course, being in response to the sudden, completely unexpected, and unwanted kiss initiated by one James Harold Potter.

Yes, his middle name is Harold, let's not get distracted now.

In my complete and utterly shocked and surprised state, I did what came naturally, I kissed him back. I mean, if some guy just randomly walks up to you and kisses you, much less a friend, what are you going to do? Especially when you're really happy after, say, winning a quidditch game? You're not going to pull back, slap him, and run away. No. You're going to kiss him back and hope he gets too drunk in his celebrating to remember that you kissed him back to begin with.

The fact that James Potter is an absolutely heavenly kisser has, of course, no bearing on this decision; none at all. Nope… not a single bit of influence was inflicted upon me during those few wonderful minutes…

See? I'm still overly happy from the victory over Slytherine. It's affecting my decision making. That and I'm pretty sure whatever Sirius gave me in that cup earlier wasn't just soda. The fact that my best friends are trying to seduce a guy they are not dating and have no interest in dating also may be having some effect on my mental state. I'm pretty sure someone was stripping earlier too. Wait. Maybe I should start from the beginning. Well, actually the end; the end of the game that is.

You see, we won the quidditch game, a game that we were all sure we were going to lose, against Slytherine. This, while perhaps seeming a teensy bit average to you, was a HUGE deal to us. 'Us' being the quidditch team, the entire Gryffindor house, the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students who supported us in the game, and probably our Head of House, Professor McGonagall, who is a closet quidditch addict. So, of course, when we won, everyone went crazy. Our entire team was carried up to the tower on the fans shoulders. Sirius disappeared at some point amid a crowd of his fan girls, though Becca looked nearly un-phased by the occurrence. James and I just happened to be sat down next to each other by the portrait hole. Our overly excited state resulted in James grabbing me and pulling me into a big hug, swinging me around in circles why saying in a sing song voice 'we wo-on! we wo-on!' before placing me back on my feet and planting the kiss of a lifetime on my lips.

Now, at first, as I mentioned above, I was slightly pleased by this. He is a good kisser after all, and I do like him, sort of, deep down. Add to this the fact that I was blinded by happiness and I have a perfectly iron clad excuse for kissing him back for a full two minutes before running into the commons. In the commons we were greeted by a fully decorated room full of streamers, 'congratulations!' banners, and refreshments. Where it all came from, I don't know, don't want to know, and at the time, did not care. It looked great though. The entire Gryffindor house partied for a few hours until Sirius ran in, his clothes in tatters, missing a shoe, his hair completely out of sorts, and slammed the portrait hole behind him, holding it closed with his body.

"Someone save me! They won't leave me alone! They're crazy I tell you! Absolutely stark raving mad!" Sirius shouted. His voice was a pitch higher than usual and he seemed to have developed a nervous eye twitch in the last three hours.

Becca made her way over to him. Her first response was to poke him. Why? Who knows? She's always been a weird one, but I suppose that's why I like her so much. Her second response was to ask him "Er, what happened to you?" with raised eyebrow and a suppressed smirk of amusement.

"I've been bloody running from a pack of obsessive, psychotic girls who seem to think that ripping my clothes off my back is an acceptable form of greeting! They kidnapped me! They carried me off and tried to take my clothes as souvenirs! They chased me for three hours through the halls!" as Sirius continued to describe the horrors that he suffered, a large rumble was growing outside the portrait hole. The rumble was soon joined by something being pounded against the portrait hole. The fan girls were clearly one, off their rockers, and two, trying to break into the tower. All of this to get a piece of Sirius's clothing? Yeesh...

"Somebody hide me!" Sirius yelled. To his credit, he looked truly frightened. Of course, James, Remus, Rebby, and Becca decided that this would be the perfect moment to burst into laughter. I simply rolled my eyes, walked briskly over to where Sirius and Becca were, grabbed them both by the ear, and dragged them off towards the boys dorms, James, Remus, the rest of our friends, and a small amount of people who were somewhat friends of some of us, following in my wake. I led them up the stairs until I reached a portrait of a crazy looking old witch with one wide open eye and another squinty eye, the overall effect making her look like her eyes were two different sizes, and grey hair styled by the same person who did the Bride of Frankenstein's.

"Can I help you, dear-y?" she asked in a creaky old voice when I turn to face her.

"Yes, you can. Open up and let us through please. The password is 'candycane'." I said quickly, glancing behind me.

"True, that is the password, I suppose I'll have to let you pass now." She was seated in a chair in her portrait in front of a door. She now stood up, scooted her chair aside, and swung the door open. Only the door didn't just open in the portrait, but in the hall way as well.

"Alright, everyone follow me if you're coming." I said. The group, minus Remus, who said he would be along in a minute with snacks, followed me through a hidden passage that led to another portrait just down the hall from where the portrait of the Fat Lady resides. I opened it slowly, peeking out to see if anyone was nearby or looking in our direction. What I saw was a group of at least forty skimpily clad girls mobbing the door to the Gryffindor Tower. Imbociles.

I waved people out, one at a time, telling them to go to the Room of Requirements, since I knew it would be a safe place to hide Sirius away for a short time. I was honestly afraid for his well being. Really, those girls were crazy. Plus that eye twitch of his was starting to worry me; it was spreading to his shoulder, so that now he'd occasionally break into small spasms and twitch for a few minutes before returning to normal. That can't be good, you know?

As I waved the last two people out, Sirius, covered in a long black cloak, and Becca, who was now pulling her melodramatic spy act, Remus came up behind me along with James, who had apparently gone with him to get the snacks, carrying a large trunk that I assumed was full of food.

"We don't need all that, we're heading to the Room of Requirements." I whispered to them.

"Yes we do." James smiled "It isn't food. It's a distraction for the mob out there." He winked his eye at me and stepped past me into the hall along with Remus. They set the trunk down, unlocked it, and waved for me to follow them down the side hall I had sent everyone else down earlier a short ways. After a bit James stopped, turned, and waved his wand at the trunk. The lid popped open on it, a large amount of fireworks went off, and what I could have sworn was Sirius jumped out and ran down the hall in the opposite direction of the Room of Requirements, the pack of fan girls chasing after him.

"What the hell was that?"

"Our invention made specifically for this problem. Though, we've never had to use it simply for Sirius. Usually it's for Sirius, James, and occasionally myself when we are in a group after an exciting event or after an announcement has been made about an upcoming Ball or unexpected Hogsmeade trip." Remus said casually.

"Ah, I see." I replied. "I knew they were obsessed with you all, but I had no idea that they often chased you about in an attempt to take your clothing as souvenirs."

"Well, no usually they just want dates, but they make it extremely hard to get to class on time." James said, shrugging it off.

"The fact that you two treat this so nonchalantly is a little disturbing." I stated bluntly.

"Yeah, you get used to it." James said "Last one to the Room of Requirements is a rotten dragon egg!" he yelled, glancing at the two of us before taking off down the hallway. Remus and I shared a glance and a perfectly timed joint eye rolling before taking off after him, if only to make sure he didn't trip and fall down three flights of stairs or something. Plus, I like to run, it's fun, and racing is fun too.

When we reached the Room of Requirements we entered to find the place in an uproar. It was better decorated than Gryffindor Tower, had more food and drinks, and extremely loud music was coming out of large amplifiers by the fireplace. It sounded like a live band was playing in the room. People were everywhere dancing and laughing. The only one's not making merry were Sirius and Becca. Becca was listening to Sirius recount the horrors of his evening while trying not to laugh. Sirius was double fisting glasses of coca-cola. Wait. Why would he be double fisting coca-cola?

Then I noticed the half empty bottles of fire whiskey, rum, and tequila and the four blenders that were running containing margaritas and three types of daiquiris. Dear lord the Room of Requirements has been turned into a bar.

Remus wandered off to find Rach, melting into the group of dancing people and being lost to my sight completely. James turned to me and said "Are you okay?"

"Who? Me? I'm fine. The Room of Requirements has been turned into a bar, I just had to help Sirius escape from a mob of crazed skanks, and Sirius is double fisting what I strongly suspect is rum and coke. Oh yeah, I'm fine." I threw my hands in the air and collapsed onto a squishy chair that appeared beneath my bottom at just the right moment.

"Look on the bright side," James said "this is a really good song." He smiled and held out his hand "Care to dance?" he asked.

"What the hell." I said, standing up and letting him drag me onto the dance floor where I spent the first ten minutes feeling awkward until Rebby told me to loosen up and have some fun.

I danced for a while, with various partners, then the dancing sort of died down, and everyone decided to play a game. We were debating between two games, Truth or Dare and Quarters, when Rebby jumped up and said "I KNOW! We can play that one game." To which Becca and I replied "Oh god." and blushed profusely. No one else knew what she was talking about, so, of course, they asked what she was talking about. This caused her to explain the game and its rules.

"Okay. So the game is called "Baby if you love me" and the point is to make the person in the middle smile, okay? So, everyone needs to circle up." Rebby waited while people sort of meandered over to where she was and started forming a circle. "Okay, now, first we select a person to be in the center first. We'll go ahead and let it be me since I'm explaining the game… we'll call this the practice run." Rebby sat down on the floor in the center of the circle. "So now I get to pick someone to try and make me smile. Everything goes for this, except tickling sometimes. Should we allow tickling?" Rebby looked at me questioningly.

"No, I think that would make certain people way too easy to make smile." I replied, smirking to myself. This should be fun… especially since I had a feeling I knew who she was going to pick first.

"Alright, now, the person I pick has to try to make me smile, by doing anything they like except for tickling. At some point they have to say the words "Baby if you love me won't you please smile" and I, or the current victim, I mean, person in the center, says in response "I'm sorry baby, but I just can't smile." The person in the center can't smile or laugh while they say this either. When the person finally smiles, then the person who made them smile becomes the person in the center and the person who was just in the center gets to pick someone to be the person trying to make them smile. Everyone got it?" Everyone nodded yes, some a little reluctantly, though I am unsure if it was because they were reluctant to play or just weren't completely sure of the rules. "GOOD! Then I piiiiiiccckkkk….. Remus!"

"Um, why?" Becca asked.

"Because I think it will be awkward for him, which brings greater amusement to me." Rebby explained.

"Ah, I see."

"Glad you enjoy my pain and suffering." Remus rolled his eyes as he walked into the center of the circle.

See, now I actually didn't expect this. This was completely unexpected. I was completely and utterly surprised by this choice. How many more ways can I say it? See, now I was expecting her to choose Becca or I because we know the game, she especially likes to force me to play it because it makes me feel so uncomfortable. Strange…

"So…" Remus said, standing there awkwardly.

"Do your worst." Rebby said, then, composing herself as best she could, set her features in a neutral look.

"Er, well then… you're right, this is awkward… umm…." Remus scratched the back of his head. "'Baby if you love me won't you please smile.'"

"'I'm sorry baby but I just can't smile'" she replied, shaking her head, her face still neutral, though I could tell she was just dying to laugh already.

"Alright then…" Remus began trying everything he could think of to make her smile, including pulling funny faces, dancing around like a monkey, and sitting in her lap and telling her to read him a bed time story wile sucking his thumb. Nothing worked. Rebby was on a roll. She was a brick wall, completely unbreakable. Then Remus apparently pulled out the big guns. "Fine then, since this doesn't seem to be working, you leave me no other choice." Now, you have to keep in mind that, while he seems completely innocent to most, including myself until I began hanging out with him on this year. Remus hopped up from Rebby's lap, walked straight over to Sirius and planted a kiss flat on his lips before anyone could move.

The room had been filled with laughter from everyone watching Remus's antics, now it was dead silent. Remus sat down on Sirius's lap, put an arm around his neck, and proceeded to act like, well, Becca actually. Sirius was in shell shock. He just sat there, his eye twitching yet again. Slowly, he closed his eyes, reached down, picked up his cup full cup of rum and coke and chugged it, Remus codling him like a girl and fawning over him all the while. After he did this, he turned to look at Remus and said "If you ever do that again, I'm going to throw up and hurt you. Not necessarily in that order. Perhaps I'll even do both at the same time."

Now, as he said this with a completely straight face, it made it all the more funny. The problem was, everyone was too shocked to laugh. Until of course Remus planted a big kiss on his cheek and said "Oh please you know you liked it." in a girlish voice. At that point, everyone burst into laughter, including Rebby who ended up rolling around on the floor for a good ten minutes.

Remus stood up from Sirius's lap rather quickly and ran away to the other side of the room. Sirius stood up, made like he was going to follow Remus, but changed his mind and ran in the direction of the restroom instead. I guess that was the order the events would come in, throwing up first, beating Remus second.

"That was amazing!" Becca managed to get out between laughs.

"Yes, wasn't it?" I agreed. "Too funny! Could you just imagine Remus gay; even better, Remus and Sirius gay and dating!"

Becca sat up straight and gave me a look. "Don't even joke about that. I would be sad if Sirius broke up with me, I would die if it was to date Remus."

"Well… good thing he's definitely not gay then." Rach said. "Trust me, I would know." She winked at us and gave him a peck on the check causing him to blush. Other than the blushing, he was sitting completely silent next to Rach, looking extremely pleased with him self.

Once everyone quieted down and Sirius came back, chased Remus around the room for a while, then sat down again as well, Rebby said "Okay! Shut up already! Remus's turn, and I get to pick who has to make him laugh." She looked around the room with an evil smile on her face. She surveyed each face carefully then finally decided on "PETER!"

"W-what?! M-me? Really? Do I have to? I didn't even know I w-was playing!" he stammered. "B-besides, I have to, er, go and d-do, er, something right now..." carried on, slowly edging towards the door." Er... bye!" he said and ran from the room.

"Spoil sport." Rebby muttered. "Fine then, he leaves me no choice but to pick Rach instead. Mainly because there's nothing more awkward than your girlfriend trying to make you smile in front of a room full of people when you're not supposed to smile." she smiled, happy with herself, and waited for the fun to begin as Rach walked to the center of the room and surveyed Remus and his calm composure.

"Now let's see," Rachel circled Remus like a shark does it's prey, staring at him all the time. If I were Remus, I'd be nervous right now. I don't know Rachel very well, but what I do know of her is that she's a very capable girl, very clever; so clever I would have thought she'd have been put into Slytherine, but I suppose she doesn't have that whole hatred of anyone not pureblooded going on now does she? Or the ability to put herself above everyone else on her list of priorities. She puts her friends first, like all the rest of us dumb Gryffindors.

"Stupid freaking Slytherines think they know everything..." I mumbled to myself.

"You okay Lily?" James asked, sitting down beside me, a freshly refilled glass of 'coke' in his hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said tersely.

"You sure? 'Cause yur face iz doing the tomato preson 'gin." Sirius said, sitting down on my other side.

"Why you-!" I almost started to pummel him, but Becca sat down in between us.

"Oh hush Lily, he's drunk and you know it. Can't really blame the guy with the mob that was after him earlier; I'd be half past shnockered if I were him too, and you know how much alcohol that takes for ime/i."

"Yeah, well, tell him to keep his thoughts to himself." I replied.

"'ere you go. Try dis stuff. Itle make yer fil betther..." Sirius leaned past Becca with a full glass of 'coke', which i took from him before he passed out on her lap.

"Well, this is inconvenient." Becca said, looking down at Sirius irritatedly "I wanted to play the game."

"I'm sure his lover-boy Remus would absolutely love to baby-sit him for you when your turn comes round." I said. "What's in this?"

"It's rum and coke, but there's not much rum in it, the bottle was nearly empty when he poured his drink."

"Hmmm... No since in wasting, with the night I'm having i might as well..." I took a deep drink of the rum and coke and smiled as the liquor went straight to my head. Oh boy, this'll be fun.

"I've got it!" I turned as Rachel stopped pacing around Remus, sat on her knees in front of him, leaned in, and kissed him on the mouth. When she leaned back it revealed Remus sitting there blushing and smiling like an idiot.

"That was a little too easy." I commented amid the hoots and hollers of the people sitting around the room.

"Nah, all she would of had to do is say that she was going to kiss him and you would have gotten that reaction. Remus is a real push over when it comes to girls. You know, the overly romantic sort. He gets it from all those books he reads." James said, shaking his head and smirking at the look on his friends face.

"Which makes you what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Which makes me a slightly less overly romantic sort whose involved in a friendship with his unrequited love."

"Or it makes you a stalker."

"True, that's one way of seeing it." he made an annoyed face.

"Okay, I pick... Sirius to go next." Remus said.

"Actually, Sirius is out of commission. He downed about half a bottle of rum after you kissed him the second time." Becca said, trying not to laugh, though why that's funny I've no idea.

"Ah, I see..." Remus said, sighing. He walked over towards Sirius and Becca. "Well then, I pick Lily." He said as he reached the two of them and hoisted Sirius up, throwing his arm around his shoulder and, with Becca on the other side helping, took him over to one of the empty sofas on the other side of the room.

"Er... I didn't really want to play, but okay." I stepped awkwardly into the center of the circle and made a thinking face while trying to think of how to get Rach to smile. Then it occurred to me, why do anything when doing nothing is always so much more productive. I sat down on the floor in front of Rach and stared at her. "Hi." was all I said. Then I proceeded to stare at her quietly for the next ten minutes. At the end of ten minutes, she began to fidget nervously. At the end of eleven minutes she began to twitch. At the end of twelve, she began to shake, and not like a seizure, like she was laughing, only without the sound. I extended my neck like i was trying to reach her without actually moving anything but my head and neck, the rest of my body remaining completely still, eyes fixed on her. Apparently this was comical, because she began cracking up. Everyone started laughing as well, though whether it was because of my movement or Rach's infectious laughter I've no idea.

"Well then, I believe it's my turn to pretend I'm a statue." I said, as the laughter died down.

"Yup, and Rach gets to pick your torturer." Becca said, and evil smile on her face. "Pick me, oh please pick me. Oh the wonderfully disturbing things I have planned for her. Oh please pick me."

"Rach, remember while your picking that I know where you sleep."

"And that means?"

"And that means if you pick Becca I'll hurt you while your sleeping."

"Ah, I see, well then, I suppose I pick James."

"You forget I know where you sleep."

"No, you said you'd hurt me if I picked Becca. I picked James, live with it." she wiggled her eyebrows at me and sat down, a smug look on her face.

"Fine. You win this time, but I'll get you later, don't you think I won't." with this, I took her place in the center of the circle and waited while James stood up and walked over. He gave me a surveying look, like he was scoping me out for weaknesses and such. Then his slightly puzzled and serious face slowly grew into a smirk and an evil smile.

That couldn't be a good sign.

James straightened his back and shoulders, cleared his throat, and began to sing, I kid you not, sing. His song of choice: 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred.

"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me"

He started dancing around and waved his wand making the background music to the come from thin air.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan"

And now he was stripping himself of his shirt, spinning it around over his head, and tossing it. The good news is he has nice abs, the bad news, he's shirtless and singing 'I'm too sexy' to me, and the shirt just happened to land on top of my head.

"And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing"

He pulled a little disco move and span around and continued his dance and song.

"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk"

He walked back and forth in front of me, wiggling his but as he turned around to walk the other way. People were now either cheering him on, or laughing hysterically at James's antics.

"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that"

He magicked in a top hat and threw it into the 'audience', to the joy of many a squealing girl, and sang the rest of the song.

"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tushy on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tushy on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me"

Well now that last verse is just a little disturbing.

"And I'm too sexy for this song"

He finished with a pose, arms crossed over his chest and funny look on his face that was supposed to be cool.

Now, there are a lot of ways to react to this, I chose to raise an eyebrow and roll my eyes at him. No smile what so ever. Am I the master or what?

"What? Not even a twitch? Come on!" James complained. "Fine! You leave me no choice!" He cleared his throat, rolled his neck around and shook his hands out, then started looking about the crowd for something. "Where'd my shirt get off to?" he asked.

I held it out and waved it around a bit to get his attention as I wasn't allowed to speak at the moment.

"Oh! There it is. Well, you can keep it Lily, i know how much you like to steal my shirts." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. I glared at him and dropped the shirt on the floor next to me. He waved his wand and a bright pink button down shirt appeared in his hand. James proceeded to put the shirt on and button it halfway down, then tie the remaining shirt tail in a knot above his belly button. He turned around and did something with his wand that made Rebby, Becca and a few others laugh, then waved his wand and music came out of thin air again; this time it was 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls. He jumped and span around just as he began to sing in a high pitched voice.

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ha. "

He was dancing again. I'll not describe it, the mental image would be too terrifying for you to handle. He also was wearing hideous pink make up and sparkly pink high heels. Scary.

"If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really,
Really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try,
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really,
Really really wanna zigazig ha.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me,
You gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
We got G like MC who likes it on an,
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,
And as for me you'll see, ah you'll see
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down and wind it all around.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
You gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam,
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down and wind it all around,
Slam your body down zigazig ha.
If you wanna be my lover."

"You're insane." I said before I could stop myself. Then I laughed for a good twenty minutes. What? It was funny...

Once the laughter was under control, both mine and the rest of the people in the room, I moved over to the side lines allowing James to sit in my spot. "Don't forget your shirt honey."

"I'm not your 'honey' so don't call me that." I glared at him, but I doubt he saw the glared because his shirt landed on my face for the second time that night. "Just for that, I pick Becca. She has better torture methods than I do anyways. Plus she lives for this game."

Becca shot from her seat and was in front of James smiling evilly before you could say 'quidditch'. She looked down at him, cocked her head to one side, pulled in back up normally, then proceeded to stretch her arms and legs and back, pop her knuckles and wrists, hop up and down and jog in place a little. "Now, let the fun begin." The evil smile returned to her face and she wiggled her eyebrows at him menacingly. "Hehehe..."

"The poor unsuspecting victim..." Rebby said next to me.

"It's James, he deserves what he gets."

"I thought you two were friends now?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean a little payback for the last 5 years of torture isn't going to be welcomed now does it?"

"Um, I guess not..."

"It sure as hell isn't." I watched happily as Becca got ready to, well, to do what ever it was she was planning on doing. It was sure to be amusing, terrifying, and odd all at the same time.

" I need everyone to scoot back. No, more, just scoot all the way back, there you go, that's better. Now we just need this." she waved her wand and mats appeared underneath both her a James extending from one edge of the crowd to the other. "Now we can begin." Becca walked to the opposite side of the floor then turned and faced James.

James raised an eyebrow at Becca as if to say 'what the heck are you doing' but remained silent. Becca seemed to summon all of her energy in one inhale of breath, raising her arms above her head. Then she swung them down fast and used the motion to start her forward, ran three steps towards James, did a couple of strange flippy things, and stopped not even a step away from his face. Everyone looked at her like she was insane, wondering, as was I, how this was supposed to make him laugh. James looked at her like he though she was trying to kill him, not make him laugh. With Becca the two things tend to go hand in hand...

"Hmm... One more step ought to do it... Maybe extend the handspring..." Becca said to herself, returning to her spot and repeating the process. This time she took three steps, and instead of doing whatever it was she did before, this time she did a trick combination I recognized from a couple of summers back when she and I had been at Rebby's messing around on her trampoline.

At the time we had been having a trick contest and when Rebby and I got excited over Becca's back flip, she had said we 'hadn't seen nothing' yet' and flooed home, returning five minutes later with a small box that just happened to be a self folding tumble-track. She had explained that a friend of a friend's father had made it for her birthday and showed them how, by pushing a button on top, it expanded and unfolded into a really long rectangular trampoline with a big squishy mat at the end.

Two years later and I still remember the name of the trick she did that first time down the tumble track that day. "Round-off back handspring double back tuck." I said quietly even as Becca hit the floor after the back handspring and proceeded to complete the double back tuck over his head, landing behind him. "Holy crap, she's insane." I said louder.

"You're telling me. Haven't I seen that trick of hers before somewhere though?" Rebby asked me.

"Two years ago, your house, the day she brought the tumble track."

"Oh yeah... Crazy flippin amazing."

"That's one way to describe it." another was dangerous.

Now Becca walked back a few steps, ran at James, and did the same trick again over him. It's not really necessary to say this, but he was a little freaked out. He was even more freaked out when, on Becca's fourth attempt, she ran straight for him and dived, seemingly at him, before completely disappearing altogether. She didn't ram into him, because he didn't get completely destroyed. She just sort of vanished. Everyone, after the initial shock, looked every which way to try and figure out where she was, but no one could see her anywhere. Then I saw a slight shimmer in the air, like the outline of a person when the light hits them just right when they're under the Disillusionment spell. The person I saw the shimmer next too suddenly had bright pink hair. As a matter of fact, a lot of the people in the room were suddenly exhibiting strange changes of skin and hair color. It was pretty durn funny too. James had begun to notice as well, and I could tell he found it extremely funny when Remus suddenly had bright orange and purple striped hair shaped into a Mohawk and was wearing eyeliner and mascara, the combination making him look like a punk rock reject wannabe. Then I suddenly felt a breeze around my neck.

James just happened to be seated so that he was directly facing me, Rebby, Rach and Remus in our little group. While we were all laughing at Remus, all of us except James of course, Becca was apparently busy giving me a makeover as well. I didn't even realize anything was going on until I had realized that my hair, which I had worn down around my shoulders for once, was not in fact, down around my shoulders. My hair was up, and I hadn't put it up.

Uh-oh.

James was the first to see me after Becca did her stealthy work and I saw his eyes go wide in surprise. I, noticing him sudden change in expression, took it upon myself to conjure a mirror to see what Becca had done to me. It was kind of scary. My butt length red hair now held real gold highlights and black low lights and was spiked straight up from my head. My face was covered in red, gold, and black face paint, complete with the black stripes under the eyes you always see on American football players. I also had the same make-up job as Remus only with black lipstick as well. My clothes also changed, becoming an all black outfit of form fitting cargo pants and a tiny tube top. When I looked in the mirror I got the distinct impression that I was looking at a combination football player/Goth chick/slut troll. When I say troll, I don't mean the real kind either, I mean the little things muggles tend to keep on their desks and such and that muggle children like to play with that have neon colored hair that sticks straight up in a cone shape all the time.

My reaction to this was instantaneous. I tossed aside the mirror, jumped to my feet, pulled out my wand, and, spotting Becca as she paused at what I can only assume was her next victim, taking the disillusionment charm off her. "YOU! DEAD! NOW!" I yelled, chasing a scared Becca around the room so that I could beat her senseless. Of course, I was now wearing huge black boots that were probably heavier than an elephant after it eats dinner and a tiny tube top that kept attempting to fall off. This made catching her impossible, even with her stopping and slowing down to laugh every now and then. "RRAAAAAHHH!!!" I let out my frustration and zapped my shoes back to normal with my wand, as well as my hair, and was about to do the same with my tube top and pants when Becca hit my shirt with a bright yellow spell and smiled at me evilly. "WHAT did you just do?" I asked, attempting to change my shirt back to normal. It wouldn't change. I tried my pants and they changed back to jeans right away, but my shirt would not change back. "Beeecccaaaaaaa...!" I yelled.

"What? I think that top looks good on you, you should wear navel bearing outfits more often, they complement your body type. Though, perhaps not with those jeans..." she smiled cheekily at me and waved her wand again, twice this time. My jeans turned into a blue mini skirt and my shoes into strappy four inch high heels. "Better." she smiled again and put the same spell on the skirt and shoes as she had the shirt so that I couldn't change them back. "Now now, it isn't nice to ruin plan." she said winking at me then glancing quickly at James.

Following her gestures, I glanced at him too quickly; he was obviously very happy about my new out fit. What ever it is with guys and short skirts and high heels I don't know, but the fact that I was wearing one nearly had him in fits of happiness, except he wasn't quite smiling yet. I looked back at Becca and she wiggled her eyebrows at me, a sign that she uses for two things: to suggest sexual innuendo about a comment she makes and to tell someone to play along. For the purpose of my sanity, I assumed she wanted me to play along.

She waved her wand once more, this time with out actually saying the spell, and I turned, as if on command, and walked seductively towards James. He looked up at me as I reached him and swallowed. I was apparently very intimidating when I acted seductive in a tiny top, too short skirt, and too high heels. Good to know for future reference. I reached down and placing my index finger under his chin, raised him up to his feet by mere suggestion of movement. I leaned into him, lifting my mouth to his ear and whispered "Babbling bumbling band of baboons."

I stepped back and looked at his face. He sort of blinked, then looked at me and started to laugh. "You're insane you know that?"

"Wasn't me, she made me do it!" I said, claiming complete and utter innocence in Becca's little scheme.

"Oh, so this was all her idea?" James asked between fits of laughter.

"Yes, yes it was." She said, smiling, very pleased with herself. "Been planning it since the game started and I'm ever so glad I got to use it on you two, made it all the more funnier." her smiled became mischievous and she turned to me and said quietly, so that only I could hear her with all the racket in the room "Later we'll have to talk about what exactly you said, seeing as I definitely wasn't actually controlling you."

"Yeah, sure, later." I said. I mean, what I said wasn't exactly a big secret, but the fact that she didn't know was, and Becca is an overly curious one, so she probably really wanted to know what I said. "So, who's up next?" I asked loudly.

The game continued for quite some time, nearly everyone having a turn at it. Becca lasted the shortest amount of time in trying not to laugh, Win had only to make a certain gesture and say a certain word and Becca burst into uncontrollable laughter that lasted for a good fifteen minutes until Rebby and I dragged her over to laugh by the now semi-conscious Sirius on the couch so that the game could continue, which it did at full speed until at least three in the morning. By that time Becca and Sirius had disappeared off into some dark corner of the room, a broom cupboard perhaps, to snog each others faces off, if you'll pardon my bluntness. Remus, James, Rach, Rebby, and I had ended up sitting on the couch, talking and laughing at the people still playing the game among other topics. The one rum and coke had been pretty good, so I had another one, and then Rebby made me participate in a round of shots, then James suckered me into a couple of rounds of Quarters. After playing two rounds of Quarters I was extremely happy and decided that rum and coke was my new favorite drink. I had a couple more of those and was feeling pretty woozy. Rebby was going insane with the shots, Remus wasn't drinking, Rach drank less than I did, and James drank more than I did with about the same results as I had, a little wooziness. Becca and Sirius were still with us up until that point, then they both had to go to the restroom. Together. At the same time. Yeah, way to keep your intentions secret guys. They definitely didn't end up in the restroom though, as i went in to make sure Rebby was okay when she never came back. She was fine, she just kept trying to open the door the wrong way and even walked into the door once when she got it right.

At some point Remus took Rach back to the Gryffindor dorms. Sirius and Becca reappeared long enough to take a few shots of fire whiskey in quick succession, then escort Rebby, who was falling down drunk, back to the dorms. Win came over and plopped down next to me and we talked for a while. James was talking with Makenzie, who as part of the team had taken it upon herself to come along as well and get sloshed, about quidditch and how annoying Slytherines were.

"Thothse bloody Sleetherones are surch gitses! The lother dayuh, dis kid in mah potons classsss... oi, whir'd ma friendsies go?" she stopped mid sentence to exclaim upon realizing that the two friends she had come with had gone back without her. Then she fell backwards out of her chair while trying to look behind her. There was still a good amount of people at the party having fun, but none I knew very well.

"Here Kenzie, let's get you back to the dorms." I stood to help her and the floor moved a little and I collapsed back onto the couch, nearly on top of James.

"How about I help her back to the dorms, and you two help each other back to the dorms?" Win offered. She hadn't been drinking so she was completely sober and the ground didn't move when she stood up.

"Good idea. You walk her back, well walk each other halfway back and pass out in the hallway..." I commented rolling my eyes. Bad idea, now I was dizzy again. I opened my eyes to say something else to Win, but she and Kenzie were all ready gone. "Damn. They disappeared fast."

"Yup. You ready to head back? I'm getting a little tired."

"Er, yeah, sure." We both stood up and started for the door. James pulled out the Marauders Map and looked it over before stepping out. "What are you, a boy scout? I suppose you brought your invisibility cloak, a tent, some flint to make fire with and a tent as well, just in case?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't think you drank that much, you're talking nonsense."

"Oh, sorry, muggle references."

"And I gave my invisibility cloak to Sirius, I figured he, Becca and Rebby could use the help getting back unnoticed."

"You ARE a boy scout aren't you?" I laughed at his confused face. "A boy scout is something a lot of muggle boys do when they're younger. It kind of like a big year round camp where they get badges and stuff for doing things like pitching a tent and starting a fire with flint instead of matches. They learn survival skills and stuff and their motto is "Always be prepared.""

"Ooooohhh... Okay. Now it makes sense."

"Yeah... Let me see the map." I said, taking it from him. "This thing is so cool. I still don't know how you four always seem to find the most unusual and interesting spells. Where did you- Oh crap!" I grabbed James and pulled him into the nearest room, which just happened to be a small closet with old rolled up rugs and carpets being stored in it. The space was so small in the closet that the two of us were uncomfortably close.

James asked "What the bloody- why are we in a closet?"

"Sshhh! Teacher!" I hissed. Then whispered quietly "MacGonagall was turning the corner into our hallway."

"Oh. Is she still out there?" he whispered back.

"I don't know, I can't see the map. Hang on." I had my wand between the belt of the tiny skirt that Becca had never changed back and the waist band and had to shift around to reach it. This shift caused me to loose balance in the dark and fall backwards into a pile of rugs against the wall. I reached out mid fall and grabbed the first thing I could lay my hands on to balance myself: James's shirt. As I fell back and hit the rugs with a soft thump, I pulled him forward accidentally. He caught himself with one hand on either side of my head, just above my bare shoulders. We were now way past awkward. We were now in the vicinity of the twilight zone. Enter funny theme music: doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo.

"Sorry." I muttered breathlessly. He smelled of some sort of after shave or body wash, and it smelled really good. If is the last thing I do I am going to hunt down that brand of soap and stock it at home for when I'm feeling depressed. Of course, because of the fact that I was slightly intoxicated, these thought sort of slipped into the 'to say' column in my brain. "You smell nice."

"Er... Thanks? You smell nice too?" he replied questioningly. "I'd move but my shirts caught on something. Sorry."

At this point I realized that I still had a hold on the front of his shirt, so I released him. "There." I said. I felt him move back a step and moved as well, but apparently walking in the dark while you're tipsy isn't the best idea, because I fell backwards again, this time I was further from the wall of rugs and hit them harder, taking James with me yet again.

This time he didn't catch himself as well, and he ended up with his body an inch from mine, one hand over each of my shoulders, his face a couple of inches from my own, effectively pinning me to the wall. He had reached back as he fell trying to grab onto something behind him to keep from falling, but all he succeeded in doing was causing a rug avalanche, at least four or five heavy rugs landing on his back, even more probably leaning against those.

"You smell nice." I found myself saying again. Well, he did! I also found myself saying "And you're warm, it's pretty freaking cold in this building."

"Um, yeah, cold." he replied, his face only inches from mine and getting closer as the weight of the rugs grew.

"So, um, yeah..." I mumbled. Elegant aren't I? "Aw, screw it all." I whispered, pulling his shirt forward and forcing his head to come forward with it. I kissed him lightly, then deeper, not giving a rats ass about where we were, why we were there, or the fact that i had sworn I would never do this very thing with this very person.

That is how I found myself thinking 'what the hell is going on?'

Of course, my confusion and dismay over the person I was kissing was soon brushed aside as he kissed me again, deeper this time, pulling my body towards his with one strong hand on my lower back and the other bracing the two of us against the wall. 'He's a really good kisser,' I thought 'and he's smells so good. Not to mention he's got the abs of a statue of a Greek god.' Which, of course, brought me back to my original statement:

Screw it.