All credit goes to Suzanna Collins! Thank you all so much for reading my story and taking time to review! If you haven't, please do! Sorry this chapter is so short! I have been busy and this is kind of just a filler chapter, and I am having bad writers block! Hope you enjoy anyway!
Chapter 5
"Well… I saw him." I whisper into Peeta's shirt, burying myself in his smell and his warmth.
"Saw who?" he questions, though I am almost positive he knows who. He knows I need to say it though.
"I left. I went into the woods and I saw him," I breathe out shakily and back in while Peeta nods, pressing his lips to the top of my head. "Gale, I mean." When I say that simple name, it sends shivers down my spine and I feel Peeta place a reassuring hand on my back, urging the chills to stop. My heart strains as I remember the experience.
I recount the entire situation and as it draws to a close I feel my face raw and stretched from the salty tears. I keep my face hidden, afraid of how Peeta will look at me. Normally, I am able to keep my act together and I'm working on being kinder. Haymitch always told me I needed to. And Peeta deserves somebody as kind as him, though I know I will never come close in compare.
"Katniss," his gentle voice cuts through my thought but I keep my face pressed into his shirt, begging the tears to stop, though I am sure he can feel the dampness seeping in through his shirt. "It's okay." His hand makes its way to my face, pressing fingers on my chin so that I can look up at him. I shut my eyes but I can feel his bright blue ones examining me.
Finally, I cannot deal with the tension and I slowly open my eyes, only to come face to face with Peeta's heartbroken face. I know he hates it when I cry. Usually I can press everything out and stay in my happy, oblivious bubble. I can pretend it didn't happen. I can pretend I am happy. But then some days, I will see someone or hear something that taps on my walls of ignorance, causing tiny cracks to stretch out in every direction. But never, ever, has it broken down the wall, letting all my emotions spill out.
My face feels raw and worn after the many tears I shed and I gaze at Peeta's sad face trying to think of an explanation. But he beats me to it, "He shouldn't have done this, but neither should you have."
"But-" I start to protest, like a child.
He holds up a finger, "No. I am not done. I am not saying that he shouldn't have come back. I know why he did. But he shouldn't have left in the first place." I feel empty tears prink at my lids but I have nothing left to cry out. "He shouldn't expect it to be easy. Him, of all people, should know you hold grudges. But hear him out. Katniss, he deserves that much. I know you disagree and I know it will be hard, but try, for me." I shut my eyes, massaging my temples. He is going to pull that now, is he? He knows I can't resist when he puts himself into the equation. But I just can't. Gale broke me and discarded me to the side like I was nothing.
"He doesn't care about me. I have you." I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.
Peeta sighs and gently place my hands on my lap, looking me in the eye. "Katniss. Just think about it. You don't have to talk to him. You don't have to give him a chance, but think about it. As much as it pains me to admit, he cares about you and you had to have cared about him. You don't let people in so that they can't hurt you. But obviously he hurt you, so you felt something towards him. Whether you know it or not, you still do." A sharp stab inflicts itself in my chest at the truth in his words. I have been ignoring the pain, numbing it with meaningless pastimes but I care. And he hurt me, and I am not good at forgiving.
"Okay," I say, before I can stop myself. A sad but satisfied smile creeps on to Peeta's face.
"Okay, you'll think about it?" He questions. I nod my head and he smiles again. "Now, why don't we get back to whatever that was before…" He lifts my hands and places them behind his neck, and leans in to me. His warm lips collide with mine and I stay stiff at first, worried about something. Then I remember it's over, we're safe. At least, for now. I let myself kiss him back though I am sure it's not too pleasant due to the tears staining my face.
Then I hear something on the stairs. A thump. I jump back from Peeta, detangling my arms from him and turning to the stairs just in time to catch a pink pant leg disappearing up the last stair. Peeta lets out a small groan and I turn to him worried. "Do you think they heard me? Do you think they heard what I said about the war, and… and… him?"