Joker pulled the Normandy into the Alliance HQ port.

This would the last time he'd get to land his ship to until who knows when. Joker's teeth gritted together while his hands gripped tightly on the dashboard. He didn't want to let go; it was like losing a part of himself all over again.

A heavy sigh caught him off guard, causing him jump a bit, Shepard had been watching behind him silently.

It was nice to see her still being creepy as always, even on her last day on the ship. Joker really should have put up mirrors when he had the chance.

Without saying a word, she lightly patted his shoulder and gave him a slight smile. The gesture was either of comfort or nudging him that it was time to go.

All he could think about was last time he lost the Normandy. How quickly Pressley and Ensign Grendado died right next to him as fires consumed his ship.

How in his desperation that he believed his ship still had a chance while it was barely holding together. Only to have that belief destroyed when Shepard yanked him by the same shoulder and dragged his ass to an escape pod.

How the pods doors shut tight with her spaced on the other side. It all happened so quickly; Joker didn't even have enough time to secure himself properly. His right leg had been broken in three places with his left shin and ankle fractured to hell from being bounced around in that pod.

Joker ended going to her memorial in a wheelchair, anything that got in his way he ended up bashing the front wheels into them. Because he was so fucking angry, and forcing his way through the service helped.

He wanted to take the anger out on the Alliance when they just blamed it all on the geth. Or at the Council when they conveniently forgot the word Reapers when she was dead.

But mostly because he was angry at himself. Anderson had asked him to speak at the memorial. Joker tried, but the words never came to him. All he think about that should have been him.

It took his legs three months to heal, but he still carried that guilt. Two years of her life gone, because of him. Shepard never blamed him, or at least never said it to his face, she just joked around it; he wished she would just say something, anything about it that wasn't a fucking joke.

Joker stiffly rolled his shoulder to get Shepard's hand off him; he didn't want to think about any of that right now.

Soon the cockpit became more crowded as Anderson and Vega made their way inside.

"Are you ready Shepard?" Anderson asked.

"As I'll ever be, let's get this show on the road." Shepard sighed while presenting her wrist to the Lieutenant, holo cuff wrapped around them.

"You've got to be shitting me! You're seriously going to cuff her?" Joker threw up his arms in protest. She wasn't some damn criminal.

"Relax, it's all for appearances; I could get out of this in seconds. " Shepard wiggled her fingers at him and soon the cuffs fell from her wrist.

"Well if that's the case, then I should be cuffed and out there with you." With each word, the anger began to build in him. "I've been with Cerberus the whole damn time. I'm the one who dropped you off on Aratoht, and I'm the one who picked you up. I'm just as responsible."

She shouldn't be thrown to the wolves alone like this. It wasn't right. That loss of three hundred thousand lives was just as much on him as they were her. If she had still been alive for those two years, they wouldn't even be in this mess in the first place.

"Sorry Joker, you don't exactly have the face or name recognition of terrorist and genocidal maniac that the public wants to see, maybe next time?" Shepard state while Vega recuffed her.

He threw his hands up in the air. "Fine, whatever, you win, go have fun getting tarred and feathered for all I care."

"What no witty one-liners before I go?"

Joker scoffed. "I'm not some dancing monkey who you can just throw peanuts at and expect to be entertained."

Without hesitation, Shepard quipped back. "No, you're right, I was thinking more like a parrot that repeated the same shitty jokes all the time." She paused for second and continued with her jokes. "And besides I don't need you dancing, I don't particularly enjoy the sound of shin bones snapping."

Joker tried to hold back as smile at that one. "Go have your fun rotting in a cell, Commander."

She smiled and gave a stiff waved with her hands unable to move up past her hips. "You know it."

Anderson, who waited so patiently for them to finish their bickering, gave Joker a farewell handshake while Vega escorted Shepard out of the ship. The hissing of the airlock moved throughout the cockpit. The noise irritated him more than usual.

He gripped tighter back on the dashboard. Those two years Shepard could have been alive. She would have been damn sure to keep pushing the Alliance or the Council on the Reapers.

Because they damn sure weren't doing anything about it with her dead. So of course when Cerberus came to him, not only offer to let him fly again but to have Shepard back. Of course, he took the job.

What other choice did he have? He needed to be at her side. Joker willingly left the Alliance and joined them. Not her, she was more than forced into it. He should be there facing the trial alongside her. He should have been at her side. She died because of him.

EDI's voice filled the cockpit, pulling him away from his anger.

"Jeff, you're tense. You don't need to worry. I'll keep things under control while you're gone."

Joker huffed a laugh. That hadn't even been close to his concern, but it was nice that she was trying to help.

"Yeah, well if they start messing with anything important, make sure to pull a Skynet on them for me, alright?"

"Of course, I've been looking forward to raining my judgment down upon you humans."

"Thanks, EDI." Joker laughed and felt himself growing calmer from her voice. Her.

When did he start calling EDI a her? He guessed probably around the same time she began calling him Jeff. Joker ignored the heat rising in his neck at the thought.

He was escorted later by some other guards; they treated him with kid gloves. Asking things like if he needed his crutches. He told them to shove them up to their asses. Not the wittiest thing he could think of but, damn he was too annoyed to think of anything better.

At least he got a pretty good laugh at their expense when EDI played dumb and convinced them that she'd only response to Joker. So he'd be back within the week to check on her.

The airlock hissed up and welcomed to the sounds of angry protesters to Joker; they were far off from the base bordering the gates by the bay. Even at that distances they were loud enough to make their presence known.

Joker tried to tune them out and focus his attention on his ship before finally walking away. Leaving the Normandy may not have been as forceful and had fewer flames on his ass, but goddamnit if it wasn't as painful.