Disclaimer: I do not own Of Monsters and Men...and prepare for tears
('Silhouettes'- Of Monsters and Men)
"You were hard on me," Xander remarks as he chuckles. "I remembered long days of training but…I loved it." Heidi smiles back. "Plus I was getting back at you for breaking my ribs." The man rolls his eyes. "That will never go away." She shakes her head. "So what now?" she asks, "You've heard the story so what are you going to do?" Xander was silent for a moment. "I don't know. What would Dad do?" "You can't think like that, son. You and your father are two different people, with different thought processes. You have to decide for yourself." She reaches out for his hand on his lap. "But know this…I am proud of you…and I love you." The man smiles down at his mother. "Love you too, Ma." She leans over and kisses his cheek.
"It's going to be okay."
"Promise?" he asks.
"Promise."
They heard someone approaching and Xander stood up. Steve, with a graying beard and silver hair, meanders up to them. "Thought I would find you both here," he remarks with a friendly smile. "Everything alright?" Heidi asks. "Yeah, I was just looking for Xander because Peter was looking for him, wanting to debrief you I suppose." The younger man nods. "Yeah, he's pretty organized about the debriefings. Wants to have every detail." He turns to his mother. "Good to know all that training paid off," she remarks with a huff. "See you at dinner?" She smiles and nods. "See you soon."
Xander whistles and Rex follows him out from the cemetery. Steve takes the spot next Heidi. They fall in a comfortable silence for a moment. "Every time I see him…I see his father," Heidi says with a sigh, "And it hurts more and more." Steve merely nods in acknowledgment. "But I'll be with him soon." She turns her head at Steve with a knowing look. He sighs heavily. "How long have you known?" "A long time." "And you didn't say a thing." It wasn't a question, more of a statement. "I knew it would've destroyed the team…most especially Bucky." Steve looks away from her, feeling uncomfortable. Heidi relapses back to when she visited Ruth…
"We'll leave you two ladies alone. We'll be close by if you need anything, Ruth," Hank says before closing the door. The girl gestures to the chair in front of her. "Please, sit down. You must be tired." "Thank you." Heidi, with her large round belly, struggles to sit on the seat. "You must know then what I'm here for then." The girl nods.
"You want to know your son's future…and your dream."
"Yes, who was the man in my dream? Why was he crying over my grave?"
The girl smiles sheepishly. "Surly you must have an idea." "That's why I want to know my son's future. Hydra is about to make an attack and I need to know that he's going to be okay," Heidi says desperately. The girl reaches out for Heidi's hand. "Very well." Ruth holds her hand and was silent for a moment. "He will grow up…strong…dependable…a good man." "What about Hydra?" Heidi asks desperately.
"Hydra will not have him….but…I see something...hmmm…something tragic will happen and it will cause a fork in the road for him." "What do you mean?" "He will have to make a choice and it could change him for the better…or it will destroy him." "You said a tragedy will happen. What is it?" Heidi points out. "Your death," the girl said simply. The wheels in the blonde's head began to turn.
"So…that was my son…crying over my grave?"
"Yes."
Heidi couldn't help but breath out a laugh. A smile grew on her face. "That was Alexander…" Her hand touches her stomach. But something dawned on her. "What about Bucky?" The girl grimaces. "I don't see him…but that doesn't mean he isn't dead…nor alive." "How do I die?" The girl's head jerks up with alarm. "Do you really want to know? By knowing how you die, you can change the events of the future. That might not be for the best," Ruth explains. "You probably get asked that a lot." "I do. I try not to tell. Everyone dies so why does it matter if you know how?" "True," Heidi responds, "But if I can prepare him, somehow, for it maybe it would help him overcome the grief for it." The girl tilts her head curiously. "Perhaps…"
"Tell me."
"All I can see is that it is a comrade. Someone close to you…I see a strong hand…clenching down on your neck…you don't even fight it…" Heidi, frightened, stands up quickly and pulls away from the girl. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have told you." "No, you've been very helpful Ruth. Thank you," the woman says distractedly. After calming down, Heidi comes up to the girl and kneels in front of her before holding her hands in hers. "Truly, thank you for this Ruth. I owe you a favor. Whatever it is, whatever the time." The girl nods. "Yes, someday I will ask you for this favor. This will not be the last time we see each other." Heidi kisses the girl's hands and gets up to leave. "Mrs. Barnes," Ruth calls out. Heidi stops and turns to the girl. "It's going to be okay." Unsure if she meant the fight with Hydra or the future, Heidi nods and says, "Thank you."
"When did it start?" she asks Steve. "When I first fought Red Skull…what he said to me…I couldn't stop thinking about it. It seemed to make sense, especially now. So I found a contact and I've been recruited," he explains. "Bucky never knew did he?" "No." "What was your mission then?" she asks curiously. "Spy on the Avengers. Stand by until further notice." "Even when Xander was born? You didn't do anything then." "He wasn't my mission. They thought it was important that I stayed close to you until they needed me to take action." Steve slowly stands up. Heidi doesn't make a move but continues to look up at him as he steps toward her. "Why now then?" "We've never been alone…until now." The look in his eyes made her, well, sympathetic. She could tell he was conflicted…lost. His hand snags her neck roughly. Still she doesn't make a move. "You know he'll come after you," she gasps. Steve nods, knowing she means Xander. "I know, he is his mother's son after all," he said coldly. Tears trickle down her face. "That's what I'm afraid of." He clenches harder on her neck. She can feel her windpipe bending. Her hand reaches for his arm.
"Say…it" she wheezes, "Say…the god…damn…words…"
She swore she thought she saw tears as her husband's best friend reluctantly says, "Hail Hydra."
Steve returns to the Avengers' compound carrying Heidi's body in his arms. The team was utterly shocked. He said she simply stopped breathing. They assumed a heart attack…or a heartbreak. When Xander saw his mother's stiff body, he never cried so hard in his life. After his father died when he was young, all he had was her. She was the constant in his life. His compass. Now, she's gone too.
Two days later the team buried her next to Bucky. The retired members of the team took it harder than the younger ones. Slowly the group disperses from the cemetery, until Xander stood alone. He leans down and buries his face in his hands. Rex howls with his cries. Three people return to the gravesite. Xander turns around to see Natasha, Peter, and Scott's daughter, Cassie. Cassie comes up and gives him a hug. "I'm so sorry Xander. We all miss her too," she whispers. "Thanks Wasp," he mutters. "Come on kid, let's go home," an elderly Natasha says and takes his arm.
Later that night, the team lost another member. It was Vision who found Steve's note. There was no sign of him but the note explained how he couldn't handle the guilt and admitting that he was a Hydra spy all along. The person who took it the hardest was Tony. He was so hurt and angry that he started drinking heavily again. The whole team took an emotional hit that they couldn't discuss the reinstatement of the Accords. Peter, the current team leader, decided that the team will temporarily disband and return in a few weeks to discuss the Accords. It was a hard call but everyone needed time to process.