Chapter 16

The sweet smell of rain caught my senses. As I looked up to the sky I felt uneasy, my eyes quickly darted around our surroundings, and there I spotted it. As silent as a sleeping baby and as quick as a cheater. I slowly made my way around camp trying to spot Aragorn or better still Legolas. I did not want to frighten or inform the others that we had unwelcomed guests, especially when those guests were out to kill us, well us being me. I found Legolas who was looking towards the trees as well.

'They are following us.' I whispered knowing he would have heard me coming.

'Aye, they are. We must move quickly up the mountain before they get word back to their master.'

'I'm afraid that our crossing over the mountain is no longer a choice we have. We must find another way around. They know our plan, they are waiting for me, they know I become weaker when trekking a mountain.'

'Trekking, what do you mean?'

'Oh sorry it's another word for hiking. Where I come from we have many slang words, shortened words.'

'I see, why do you become weaker when trekking?'

I slowly and carefully strung words together not wanting him to know my fear. 'I am a slow hiker, I cannot run well up a mountain. I do not have experience in snow either.'

His blue eyes pierced into my very soul as if looking to see if I were telling the truth. Finally he said, 'We must inform Gandalf at once. Come.'

20 minutes later, give or take a few, we were indeed walking up the snowy mountain despite my warning against it. Stubborn wizard, I thought angrily as I walked in front of Aragorn. My anger kept me going and kept my mind away from the cold.

'Anger can drain a person, more than it can energise a person. If we were attacked could we rely on you or would you simply accept defeat?'

Gee thanks Aragorn you have made me even angrier than before, I thought to myself while turning around and glaring at him.

I was so focused on getting back at the idiotic wizard that I had stupidly not paid attention to the snow storm that was slowly getting worse and worse. So it came as a shock to me when I heard the Wizard yelling out a spell. Before I knew it I was buried under a mountain of snow.

My breathing became panicky; I couldn't see, I was frozen and I had no air or energy to attempt to rescue myself from this predicament. My whole body was trembling from fear as well as the cold. I can honestly say I do not think I have ever been more scared in my life. Something started pulling at my arm, but I did not care I would have been happy to have died right there and then. In a matter of moments I was pulled out and pulled into a warm hug from someone. It was Legolas whom I owed my life to now. Aragorn looked me over from a distance, and worry filled his eyes. As soon as the wizard said we were to go through the mines on Frodo's behalf Aragorn no longer had worry in his eyes instead he fixed me with a cold hard stare. The one which pretty much said you are in big trouble.

As soon as we got of the mountain the Hobbits had started huddling around each other and myself to keep warm. I picked up Pippin as he was the smallest and held him close then I did the same with the other three and soon the five of us were warm enough to feel our feet again.

We kept walking and in our haste, and in some cases hatred not naming names, Aragorn. We were once again being followed but this time it was not a who but a what. Only Frodo seemed uneasy. But the rest of us took no notice. We were all keen to get to the doors of Moria. Especially Gimli.

It was late by the time we got to the entrance. The poor Hobbits were beyond tired and hungry, after a quick dinner they all fell asleep. I wish I could have done the same, but alas I was still very much frightened of A- being on the mountain and B-being nearly buried alive. So sleep was out of the equation. I thought before this night is up it might be a good idea to make amends to whatever it was I had done wrong with Aragorn. Of course he was also stubborn and insisted to sleep.

Legolas however was more than willing to keep me company, 'You never answered my question about your fear.'

'That is because I don't need to talk about it.' I snapped. He sighed and sat next to me the whole night.

By the early mornings my anger had taken on a whole new level. It was not one thing it was a lot of little things. Back at home I was lucky enough to stay in somewhat of a house with a bed and hot water. Not running water mind you but we managed just fine. I had a small job of teaching, as well as being taught. There were more of us so we had choices of who to spend time with. But here I was stuck with nine men, no hot water, no bed, and the same people. Some more stubborn then others, no girls around, weird clothing. I know I've been trained to kill but that does not mean I did not get the chance to act my age on occasions. I still got fed and watered and sleep. I still made friends and had a laugh. I needed those moments to keep me sane and it worked.

But here I was alone, and angry that Aragorn was mad at me when he had no right to be. I sound like a silly little teenage girl, but I was not happy. Oh did I mention no coffee or even worse no farmers union iced coffee. Yes whenever I got the chance back at home I would grab it and run before anyone noticed and have it half finished by the time my mates came around to our camp site.

By the time Frodo and Gandalf had opened the doors I was in the, talk to me and you die mood. So you must understand than when a squid like creature came out of the water I was pissed off and poor Frodo was scared, and rightly so he was about to get eaten. Legolas was shooting his arrows and hitting his target. While Aragorn hacked at its legs I saw the thing drop Frodo I ran over and caught him knocking us both under the water. Great now I was being downed, as Frodo pushed me under as he tried to get above the surface. I can understand that but I was terrified and was losing oxygen fast. Once again someone comes to my rescue and pulls us both out this time it was Aragorn and Gimli. Frodo held onto Gimli like he was about to drop dead, while I now having got my footing shoved Aragorn off me and ran into the mines. The fear of heights and being buried alive and now drowned came back full blast. I just wondered when I would stop functioning altogether. Fear can do terrible things to a person.

'We now have but one choice.' said Gandalf in the pitch black, I was grateful I was not scared of the dark otherwise I could pretty much guarantee right then and there that I would surrender and die in that very spot.

'We must face the great halls of Moria. Be on your guard there are foul creatures that walk these halls.' Gandalf's staff light up and we started moving forwards for quite some time. When we stop I look up and thought oh shit. I watched as one by one the Hobbits climbed up the massive stairs that went up and up and up. One wrong move and they would crash down. This was my moment of a down fall.

No matter how angry Aragorn was with me he noticed my hesitation, 'I will be right behind you and Boromir in in front of you. I will not let you fall.' Even with that insurance I was still scared to death and I truly thought I give up.

'Please leave me here' I pleaded.

Aragorn touched my shoulder, 'You are shaking, it is not from the cold though I presume. Once we make it to the top walk with me. You have a lot of fear and anger bottled up. I will not let you fall.'

Taking a shaky hand I started climbing. Painfully slow, the others were already up. It seemed like there was no end, I pushed my fear aside and tried my best to move faster. Bad idea never move fast on a staircase that you can fall to your death on. I slipped Aragorn caught my foot and I held on for dear life.

'We are not far, Legolas, can you reach her hand and pull her up.' Aragorn called upwards. A rope was thrown down.

'Willow, grab the rope Legolas will help pull you up on it.' It was like rock climbing only that I was so scared to move my hands.

'Trust me, hold onto the rope it is right next to you.' It took a while but as soon as I was holding onto it I was finally being pulled up. When I was close enough Legolas grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

'You are shaking. We will rest here for Gandalf has no memory of this place. Come you are safe now mellon.' I pushed him away wanting nothing more than to be left alone. But I knew I was not allowed that luxury as I tried everything to try and calm myself down. A song came into my head one which I used to sing when I was scared and it helped calmed me. I was up to the last part,

'And as you sleep and dream away
Of all the things you did today
The evening star will watch over
Shining down as I sing a lullaby, lullaby, lullaby my baby.' (Peter Combe Lullaby. Full song can be found on Youtube.)

Sure it gave me comfort but there was fear. Aragorn sat next to me, I got up intending to walk away. But he grabbed my hand.

'I think this is a perfect time to speak of you fears and anger. Are you angry at yourself for being fearful?'

'No we all have fears, as long as there is still hope in the world, fear cannot overall win. That is all I wish to say on this matter.'

'Stop shutting me out. You are becoming more and more distant it is not healthy for you or for this quest. The others have started noticing this change in you also. I will leave you alone for now if that is what you wish but I will not be far away, if you prefer to talk to someone else then by all means do so. But I must warn you this is a very lonely path you are setting for yourself. I shall take my leave for now, I will come back when you have had time to think over what I have just said.' I watched Aragorn walk off. All I wanted to do was hide under my bed where I can safely have a mental breakdown.