holy fuck I'm tired

Song inspiration: Daisy - Stereo Dive Foundation

Tsukito felt terrible.

Actually, terrible was an understatement.

Tsukito felt like he's been thrown into the depths of hell and back. Being an insomniac was the worst.

He's learned how to get through with it most of the time, but sometimes all his sleep deprivation hits him like a bus. Sometimes he wonders how he's even able to concentrate at all when playing the violin. Or doing anything, really.

He started vacantly at the dim screen of the computer. The words on the screen seemed to blur together as Tsukito's eyes attempted to skim through them.

He desperately needs a coffee. Like drink twice his body weight of it. And maybe every energy drink in existence all at once while he's at it. With all that caffeine, he could probably ascend to a whole new plane of existence.

But never mind that. He should probably get in as much research about Greek mythology as he could before his time on the computer is up. Then coffee.

Okay, after three cups of coffee, he should be mostly functional at least. Time to go on with the rest of the day.

Tsukito didn't have a destination in particular today, but he soon found himself back at the Temple of Apollo. It was just the same as he first saw it. Nothing but rubble.

Why did he come back here again? Tsukito didn't even know.

"I knew you'd come back. I knew it!"

Startled by the sudden voice, Tsukito turned around to face the person behind him. "Apollon...?"

There was no mistaking it, this was indeed the sun god from Greek mythology he met yesterday, except he was dressed in modern attire, his hair was much shorter, and his eyes were a bright sparkling green that no gem in the world could possibly describe them.

"You look much different than last time..."

"This is merely a form I take when walking among mortals, don't worry about it." Apollon said, "Though it's been a while since I've taken this form, I hope I don't stand out too much."

"I'm sure you're fine." Tsukito sighed, "You're a god, don't you have better things to do other than waiting around here for me or maybe following me?"

"Tsuki-Tsuki, you know I can't leave your prayers unanswered. I promised you I would help you find your muse again."

"You did no such thing."

Apollon pouts, "I did!"

"No, you did not."

"Then I'll do it now." Apollon said, "I absolutely, absolutely promise to help Tsuki-Tsuki in any way I can."

"You are so persistent...and very childish." Tsukito responds in a deadpan tone, "There's nothing you can do to help me anyway."

"Tsuki-Tsuki, you look like you could use some help right now. You look like you hadn't slept in years."

Apollon was right on the dot with that one. Tsukito doesn't know what he looks like to Apollon, but surely he looks as bad as he feels. He'd imagine he's pale as a ghost and he has very dark circles under his eyes.

"Hold still for a bit. Just for a bit, okay?"

"What are you going to...?" Apollon placed his hand on Tsukito's forehead. His hand felt very warm, then all of a sudden, Tsukito felt that warmth spread throughout his body. Tsukito felt like his tiredness went away instantly, feeling much more alert all of a sudden. "...What did you do?"

"I used my healing to help with your fatigue a bit. It's just a little pick-me-up, though it's only temporary." Apollon explained, "I could do much more, but not while I'm in this form."

Tsukito was at a loss for words for a moment, "...Uhm, thank you."

"See? I told you I can be of help to you!"

"Okay, curing me of my fatigue is one thing. Curing me of a musical creative block is a different thing." Tsukito turned around and walked up the hill towards the theater.

Apollon walked briskly behind him, trying to keep up, "But the way you play the violin, I can tell you have a talent. I can tell."

Tsukito continues hopping up the steps, not even turning around to face Apollon, "Talent means nothing if you have no passion or inspiration."

"Well, I don't think you've lost your passion. Not completely."

Tsukito stops mid-step, "What makes you say that?"

"Yesterday, when you performed for those children...you seemed so happy." Apollon said. "If you really lost your passion for playing the violin, you probably wouldn't have still been playing."

"So you were watching me."

"Yes. I've watched you ever since I heard your prayer."

"First of all, I wasn't praying to you. Second, have you considered maybe watching over me like that is a little bit creepy?" Tsukito asked, "I will say this one more time, I never asked for your help, nor is there anything you can do, anyway."

"Maybe there isn't, but I can still try! I can!"

Tsukito sighed in defeat, finally realizing there is no way he's going to change the sun god's mind. As mildly irritating as he is, Tsukito had to respect his resolve. "Be my guest, then. I don't care."

"Yay!" Tsukito suddenly felt the air knocked out of him as Apollon suddenly tackled him from behind, "I'll do my best, Tsuki-Tsuki!"

"So, what's your big plan of inspiring me?" Tsukito asked.

"Uhm...I don't really know yet. Everyone has different sources of inspiration. We just need to find yours."

Tsukito smiles bitterly, "Well, good luck with that."

It was clear Apollon was making this up as he goes, but maybe Tsukito should blame himself for going along with him. Who knew the Greek god of the sun was so energetic and hyperactive? His behavior is very reminiscent of a child's. It was a bit hard for Tsukito to keep up with him.

Apollon took him all around Delphi, the places he's already seen and some others he hadn't manage to find. They would occasionally stop in different parts of the town for a street performance.

The street performances were...something to say the least. No matter which part of town they went, people all around immediately would stop what they were doing and come to listen. People from tiny little children to the elderly, they all came to see Tsukito perform. For a moment, Tsukito remembered what it was like back then. To be able to bring joy to people with his music.

Sometimes even Apollon would sing along. He must admit, Apollon's singing voice was quite ethereal and lovely, it harmonized with the violin perfectly. Even Tsukito was charmed by it. Maybe that was part of being the god of music. Now that Tsukito thinks about it, Apollon was the god of way too many things.

Tsukito sat at the temple ruins, exhausted. Five street performances in less than twelve hours was tiring. His fingers were so numb at this point.

"Tired?" Apollon asked, pressing a cold can of soda onto Tsukito's face.

"You have no idea." Tsukito said as he took the can from Apollon's hand and chugged down the whole thing in one go.

"So, how was it? Are you feeling inspired yet? Are you?"

Tsukito shook his head, "No, not at all."

Apollon's face fell in disappointment. He just looked like a sad puppy who's just been kicked. Tsukito was being honest, but now he felt kinda bad. As a final saving throw, he quickly adds, "But, I suppose...spending the day with you, it was actually sort of fun."

It seemed to cheer the sun god right back up, "Then you can see me again right? I won't stop until you have your inspiration back!"

"You are very determined, aren't you?" Tsukito said, "I'd have to admire that."

Suddenly, Tsukito felt a dull pain in his head, like something was pounding at his skull from the inside. The incessent ringing in his ears seemed to make his headache more and more intense. He let out a cry of pain as he clutched his head.

"Tsuki-Tsuki, are you okay?"

He looked up at Apollon, his blurry vision could barely make out his worried face. "I'm...I'm fi...ne..."

His vision blacks out for a brief moment, then it flickers again.

When Tsukito came to his senses, the first thing he realizes is that he doesn't know where he is. He's probably not even anywhere near Delphi anymore. He seemed to be in some sort of ancient city somewhere, surrounded by a wall. Did he travel back in time...or something? Seeing as he met a god, that actually wouldn't be all that surprising to him.

Or maybe he was dreaming. But the scene in front of him felt way too real. People everywhere brandishing their weapons, the air was filled with the sound of people screaming in terror as they tried the flee, the smell of blood and ash that made Tsukito feel sick. He was in the middle of a war zone.

He wanted to move, to run away from the imminent danger he was suddenly in, but his entire body was paralyzed. It felt like it was entirely made of lead. He tried to scream for help, but when he opened his mouth, no sound came out. What was going on?

Suddenly, one of the soldiers came charging at him, his spear pointed straight ahead. Tsukito squeezed his eyes shut, as he couldn't do anything to avoid the attack. He prepared himself for the impact...but it never came. Opening his eyes, he sees that the soldier seemed to have run right through him as if he wasn't there at all. Instead, he impaled the enemy soldier with his spear, adding to the number of dead bodies littering the ground.

Tsukito felt his gut twisting. He wanted this to stop. He didn't want to see any more of this horrible scene in front of him.

He hears a voice calling out to him, "Tsuki-Tsuki! Tsuki-Tsuki!" He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around, suddenly to be met with Apollon's face. Tsukito could feel his heart rate go up dramatically. He scans his surroundings, to see that he was in Apollon's sanctuary.

"Apollon...you're here...I'm back...oh, Apollon, it was so horrible." Tsukito struggled to speak as he was hyperventilating at the same time.

"Hey hey, calm down for a second. Just breathe. Breathe slowly, okay?" Apollon rubs on Tsukito's back, giving him a moment to calm down, "What happened to you? You suddenly blacked out and then you started screaming."

"I think I saw something...uhm, I don't know...?"

Apollon raised an eyebrow, "You saw something? What did you see?"

"I don't even know...one moment I was with you, the next, I found myself in some place I don't know...It was some sort of battlefield. There was blood and fire everywhere...and I could hear people screaming." Tsukito said, "I felt like I was actually there, but at the same time, I wasn't. I'm probably not making any sense."

"Oh Tsuki-Tsuki, that sounds terrible! Maybe you were hallucinating? Or maybe a vision of some sort?"

Tsukito groans, "Whatever it was, it's making my head hurt."

"Maybe you should take it eas-" Before Apollon could finish that sentence, he sees Tsukito's body begin to collapse. He swooped in just in time to catch him in his arms, "Whoa!"

Apollon notices Tsukito's face was flushed a bright pink and he appeared to sweating and shivering at the same time. Apollon placed a hand on his forehead, "Tsuki-Tsuki, you're burning up!"

Tsukito smiled weakly, "Are you sure that's just not you?"

"We don't have time for this! We have to get you some place to rest as soon as possible."

Before Tsukito could say anything else, he sees Apollon's body flash a brilliant white, transforming into his god form. Apollon whistles very loudly and Tsukito could hear neighing in the distance. Suddenly, he sees a blur of white landing in front of them, startling Tsukito a bit. It was then Tsukito realizes what Apollon had called was a horse...with wings!

But considering that he's met a god, this doesn't even remotely surprise him as much as it should. Or maybe he just feels too sick to care.

He feels Apollon lift him off the ground to hoist him up on the horse's back before getting on behind him. Apollon pulls him close as they began to take flight. Feeling the wind blowing against him was oddly comforting to Tsukito. Feeling sleepy, he rests his head on Apollon's shoulder and dozes off in the comfort of his arms.

When Tsukito awoke, he really did not want to open his eyes. Even with his eyes closed he could tell that the sun outside was incredibly bright. Too bright, in fact.

But it wasn't like he could lie here and feign sleep forever.

Reluctantly, he slowly opened his eyes. Being suddenly exposed to the dazzling sunlight made them hurt a bit, it took a while for them to adjust.

He didn't know where he was. But there was probably an ocean somewhere because could he hear waves crashing in the distance and the salty sea smell was strong in the air.

As soon as he tried to set up, he was suddenly met with someone peering way too close to his face. Tsukito thought it was Apollon for a second because they looked so much like him, but realizes that this face staring back at him actually belonged to a female.

"Wooooow, he really outdone himself this time. You're pretty cute." The girl says in a vaguely teasing tone.

"E-excuse me?"

The girl doesn't say anything to him, but instead yelled, "Hey Bro, your human's awake!"

Almost immediately, Apollon burst into the room rushing over to Tsukito's side, "Tsuki-Tsuki, are you alright?! Oh my goodness, I was so worried!" He practically threw himself at Tsukito, enveloping him in a tight, crushing hug.

"You're...hurting me."

"Whoa down, Apollon, you've only known him for two days and you're already all over him? Come on, now." The girl grabbed Apollon by the shoulder and pried him off Tsukito without even trying, "Sorry about that, my brother can get a bit over-the-top sometimes, especially when he's with someone he's in love with."

"Brother?" Now that he sees them side by side, they really do look almost the same. Like they could be twins. Wait...

"Are you...Artemis?"

"Ooh, and he's smart too. I like him."

"Okay, Sis, that's enough." Apollon gently pushes her towards the door, "Tsuki-Tsuki is still recovering right now and all this noise won't do him good, so please leave us alone."

Artemis rolls her eyes, "Okaaay whatever you say, Bro." She says sarcastically. Before she could say anything else, Apollon shut the door in her face. "Rude." could be heard from the other side.

"Sorry about my sister, she...can be a bit annoying."

Tsukito shook his head, "No, it's fine. I have siblings too, I know how much of a handful they can be."

"Really? What are they like?" Apollon asked, eyes wide in fascination.

"You're very nosy, but I guess I will tell you." Tsukito sighed, "I have two brothers, one older and one younger. My older brother, Akira, well, he's a bit strict but he does try to look out for us. But then he began to hate me for some reason and now I don't talk to him anymore...I was much closer to Takeru, my younger brother. He used to always cling to me, everywhere I went. He was quite short-tempered, like he will probably fight anything and everything if I didn't stop him." Tsukito laughs a little when he says that last bit, "But he was an adventurous one. All he wanted to do in his life was to see the world. And he wanted me to become a musician. So we wound up encouraging each other to follow our dreams, as corny as that sounds...but I think the reason why I can keep up playing for so long was because of him. But now..." He shakes his head, "Sorry, I think I might wind up telling you too much."

"Don't be. Don't be sorry."

Tsukito quickly changes the subject before Apollon could ask anymore questions, "I forgot to ask, but where exactly am I?"

"Oh! I didn't know what else to do, so I brought you home to Mt. Olympus."

"Mt. Olympus? Am I even allowed here?" Tsukito asked.

Apollon looks to the side nervously, "Technically...no...but as long as Zeus doesn't know, I think you should be fine, I think." He reassures him, "Unless Artemis decides to tell on me..."

"And I thought Mt. Olympus was, well, a mountain. Why is there a beach outside?"

"Well, how do I put this...? All the major gods that live here have their own realms within Mt. Olympus, like a pocket dimension, if you will. And we can make it appear however we like, so in this case you see my realm as a sunny beach." Apollon explains. "Do you have any more questions? Because you really need your rest."

Tsukito sighed and rests his head back into the pillow, "Fine."

"You got sick so suddenly, you really scared me there, Tsuki-Tsuki. You really did."

"I get sick all the time, don't worry about it."

"You can't just tell me that and expect me to not worry! Getting sick all the time is not good, Tsuki-Tsuki, not good at all!"

"Well, it can't be helped. I have a weak immune system because of my insomnia."

Apollon tilts his head to the side, "Insomnia? What's that?"

Tsukito just stared blankly at the sun god for a moment. Did he seriously not know what it was? But then again, maybe gods didn't have illnesses and disorders like humans did. "It's a sleep disorder some humans have. It's different for everybody, but for me most of the time I don't sleep at all or can only sleep a few hours at a time. I just can't get the eight hours of sleep I'm supposed to no matter how hard I try."

"Oh...that explains why you were so tired this morning...and why you only managed to rest for only an hour." Apollon said, "If you can't sleep, then the least you can do is stay in bed while I heal you a little at a time, okay? You'll get better in no time."

Tsukito couldn't help but smile a bit. He found it strange that a god was more than willing to bring him back to his home and nurse him back to health despite the fact that he barely knew him. And that he was a mere mortal, on top of that. Tsukito had the impression gods were competely apathetic when it came to humans, toying with them as they please. But so far, Apollon has shown him nothing but kindness.

"Are you hungry? Dee-Dee...err...Dionysus brought me too many grapes again."

Tsukito nodded, "Thank you."

It took a few days for Tsukito to get better. Though it was the fastest Tsukito had recovered, probably thanks to Apollon's healing. The sun god never left his side the entire time. Typically, Tsukito would prefer some peace and quiet, but something about Apollon's company that was quite pleasing to him. Apollon was far from quiet, but not in a bad way. He would sit at Tsukito's bedside, telling him all kinds of fascinating stories. Sometimes he would get way too into it and act it out, animated hand gestures and all.

Apollon was in the middle of one of those stories when Artemis came bursting in. Apollon glares at her, mildly irritated.

"Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"Yes. Yes, you are."

"Well, sorry I'm gonna need to borrow you for a bit." Artemis grabs onto Apollon's hand and dragged him out of the room.

After a few moments, Apollon returned inside, "Tsuki-Tsuki...do you think you can be by yourself for a bit?"

"I'm an adult, of course I can." Tsukito says in a deadpan tone.

"Oh, that's great! I have some business to attend to with Zeus and the other gods, so I'm going to be gone for a bit." Apollon said, "And since you're looking a lot better, I'll take you back to Delphi tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, of course. Do whatever you need to do. I'll be fine."

Apollon grinned, pulling Tsukito into a tight hug, "Thank you, Tsuki-Tsuki!""

It wasn't long before Tsukito began to get bored. It was so quiet without Apollon around and he didn't like it. Sighing, he hopped out of bed, his legs ached from being in bed for so long. He makes his way to the door, reaching for it hesitently. He hasn't seen much besides this room, so he decided this was a great opportunity to explore and stretch his legs a bit.

Well, it was a good idea until he got lost. He severely underestimated the size of Apollon's palace. It was a nice place, but it was ridiculously huge (at least, to Tsukito's standards, anyway). But despite being lost, wandering the halls aimlessly was an experience in itself. Almost everything was made of shiny white marble, save for the bronze statues depicting the nine muses that decorated the halls. Looking at the high ceiling above him, Tsukito takes note of the golden sun designs. God, everything here was just so aesthetically pleasing. Apollon had good taste, he had to admit.

While wandering, Tsukito came across a door that was already slightly open. He internally berates himself for being so nosy today, but the curiousity was too much. He gently pried the door open and slipped inside.

"Whoa..." He stared in awe at what he found inside. Musical instruments from all sorts of cultures and time periods were mounted on the walls. Tsukito had never been around so many instruments at once. This was like the equivalent of a candy store to a musician.

One of the larger instruments in the middle of the room caught Tsukito's attention. It was covered by a sheet, but Tsukito hopes it's what he thinks it is. He slowly removes the sheet, taking care to fold it neatly before seeing what was under it. Tsukito couldn't help but get a bit excited inside when he saw what he had uncovered. A grand piano.

When was the last time he saw one? Let alone played one? He wonders if he's still any decent at it. With that in mind, he opens it up, gently running his fingers along the keys. They sounded perfectly turned despite the fact that it looks like it's been barely touched.

Maybe one little song wouldn't hurt.

When Apollon returned and found the bed empty, he went full panic mode. For like, a second. He suddenly heard piano music coming from a different room and followed it, letting out a sigh of relief when he found Tsukito there. "Tsuki-Tsuki!"

Tsukito abruptly stops playing when he hears the sun god call his name. He didn't even react when Apollon suddenly hugged him again, "Welcome back."

"I see you found where I stash my collection."

"I apologize, I must've been intruding, haven't I?"

"No no, it's okay. You were bedridden for so long, I can't particularly blame you." Apollon sat on the bench next to Tsukito, "So you know how to play the piano too? Do you?"

"Just a bit. I'm much better with the violin, but I can play the piano rather decently." Tsukito said. He couldn't help but be slightly amused by the look on Apollon's face. "I can see by that look, you really want to hear it."

"Of course! I want to listen to any music you play, Tsuki-Tsuki!"

Tsukito lets out a faint little laugh, "Okay, here it goes."

He began to play again. He starts off playing slowly, still rather uncertain about his skills. It's been a long time, after all. But when he sees the look of pure admiration on Apollon's face, it was almost encouraging to him.

"Tearing the silence to shreds, our time has come to cross paths. It's a meeting we were fated to have." Tsukito absentmindedly began to sing, "And so, you, with regret showing in your grieving eyes, wore your sorrow and bloomed beautifully."

Apollon's heart fluttered in his chest. Tsukito's singing voice was beautiful! It was soft and gentle like the summer breeze, but as clear as bells. The more Apollon listened, he found himself falling in love with Tsukito even more. He didn't think that was possible until now. It was like he was captivated all over again.

"A flower, dissolving into someone's life. Hey, can you see it too? Surely..." Tsukito pauses for a moment to catch his breath and sang the next part with much more confidence, "Let's paint over the all the mistakes that we've made. Go back to the starting line again and again until we succeed. Let's paint a tomorrow different from the past with our hopes and dreams." His fingers on the keys slowed as he sang the last line, "I never said goodbye. And I never will."

He snaps out of his trance-like state. He was just so caught up in the music, he forgot Apollon was next to him watching...and listening.

"That was wonderful, Tsuki-Tsuki! I..." Apollon begins to worry as he notices the mildy flustered look on Tsukito's face, "Oh, your face is heating up again. Is it another fever? Is it?"

Tsukito slowly inches away from him, "I-I'm fine, I just..." He turned his face away.

"Could it be...you're embarrassed? Is that it?"

"M-maybe..."

Apollon chuckled, "Oh Tsuki-Tsuki, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You were amazing. Really."

"Honestly, I have never met anyone who has ever praised me this much. I'm nothing special compared to the god of music himself."

"Tsuki-Tsuki, you are special." Apollon takes Tsukito's hands into his own, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Tsukito just blinks in surprise. The sudden question caught him off guard. it rendered him speechless for a moment. But then he remembers what Apollon said to him when they first met. This confirms his suspicions about what he meant when he said he was drawn to him the moment he saw.

"No, I don't." Tsukito answered.

Seeing the crestfallen look on Apollon's face, Tsukito could exactly pinpoint the moment his heart shattered into pieces. He remembers the mythology surrounding Apollon's love life. It wasn't a very good one and now maybe he might be another addition to the long list. But he had to set Apollon straight, at least, before he does anything rash.

"Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. You have to at least get to know the other person and we barely know anything about each other." Tsukito said, "I hope you don't take this too harshly, but I know when you rush into things, it usually doesn't end very well. I think you should take the time to know the other person and then decide if you still feel the same way you do now."

All of a sudden everything made sense to him now, "I can see now why you wanted to help me so badly. If you still want to, that's fine. If you don't, that's also fine. Your choice." He sighed, "Just please take me back to Delphi tomorrow, at least."

He gets up and left the room, leaving Apollon alone with his thoughts.

Since KamiAso doesn't really elaborate much on the gods' realms, I had to take some liberties and do my own fucking world-building which probably doesn't make any goddamn sense. Whatever :/