Gonna keep posting this because I don't really have anything else to do with my life.
...
The dead horse was still being eaten.
Applejack was traumatized.
She cried.
Life is pointless.
...
The crabcake walked up to Near's house.
Mello's dead body lay on the ground.
The crabcake cried and stepped around the body to go into Near's house.
"I'M NOT A CRABCAKE THOUGH," the crabcake said.
Then the crabcake had to pee.
"WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?" the crabcake said.
He walked around the house looking for a bathroom. He couldn't find one. He peed in the kitchen sink on all the dirty dishes. Then he felt bad, so he washed the dishes. Then he ate all of Near's food and left the house.
...
In Middle Earth, Sauron was an eye.
"I see that Legolas has been slain," he said. "Slain by these...librarians. I will start an army of librarians and take over the world! Saruman, come here!"
Saruman walked over.
"Saruman," Sauron said, "since I am just a weird fiery eye, I cannot walk. Go round up a librarian army for me."
"Have you ever noticed that our name are, like, twinsies?" Saruman said.
"Shut the fuck up and go get me some librarians."
"Whatevs."
Saruman got into his pink Porsche and drove away.
Gollum made gross noises.
"Come back and kick it for me," Sauron shouted after Saruman.
Saruman drove back. "Ew WTF," he said, and kicked Gollum.
Gollum ran away.
"Hi, I am autocorrelation," Autocorrect said.
"It can't even spell its own name correctly," Sauron said. "Kick it, too."
"OMG, like, go away," Saruman said, kicking Autocorrect.
Autocorrect ran away.
"Okay, leave now," Sauron said to Saruman.
Saruman got back into his car.
Autocorrect found Gollum hiding behind a rock.
"Jello," said Autocorrect. "Would you like to form a plan for reverse? I mean, revenge?"
Gollum made another gross noise.
"Ew," said Autocorrect, and left.
"I think that I will be friends with Bear," Autocorrect said. "Mellow was mean to me, and Bear was his enemy."
Autocorrect went to find Near.
...
Near was with Jeff. They were having a picnic in the woods.
"Do you want some tea?" Jeff said.
"We have tea?" Near asked.
"No. I was just thinking about it."
"Oh."
Jeff leaned his head on Near's shoulder. "It's very peaceful here."
"Yes, it is," Near said.
Jeff touched Near's hand gently.
Autcorrect tripped into the clearing.
"Oh, sorry, Bear! I didn't mean to interrupt anything."
Jeff quickly moved away. "I'm a heterosexual."
"Me too," Near lied.
"I am also a stride dual," said Autocorrect.
"What?" asked Jeff.
"I think he tried to say that he was heterosexual," said Near.
"Fail," said Jeff.
"I want to be friends with you guys!" said Autocorrect.
"Okay, whatever. My name's Jeff," said Jeff.
"Bello, Need! I'm Autocorrect."
"Need?" asked Jeff.
"I don't even know," said Near.
"Okay, whatever," Jeff said. "Yo Autocorrect, you want to help us?"
"With what?" asked Autocorrect.
"Murder, mostly."
"Oh, yeah, that sounds fun," said Autocorrect, because he was a loser and was desperate to seem cool.
...
In Equestria, Earl got tired of eating the horse and decided to go do something else with his life.