Welcome all to my first Divergent fanfiction (original novel by Veronica Roth.) This story is rated T for moderate violence, language, and sexual themes.

Chapter 19: Ice Cold

Tae pushed her way out of the crowd surrounding the newly posted Initiate lists. Her feet felt light and a huge smile was plastered on her face. She'd passed; she'd actually passed. Tae began searching for Nina, hoping to thank her for all her help, when she spotted Sonya lingering at the edge of the crowd. Her heart tightened momentarily. She threw Sonya a shy wave, and when the tattoo artist beamed and mouthed a 'Congrats!', Tae began to giddily make her way over to her.

A commotion distracted Tae and she paused in her path. A small group of armed guards had begun to collect some of the Initiates. One of them, Pamela, had to be picked up and carried away; she screeched and clawed at the guard holding her. Another, Miles, simply allowed himself to be lead out; his usually warm countenance was now pale and morose. Tae blanched and made her way quickly back to the list, which she hadn't continued reading past her name. She re-read it now to see who else hadn't made the cut. "That can't be right," she murmured to herself, a small frown forming on her face. She elbowed her way out of the mob once more, and looked for Nina.

Nina was standing there, her fists clenched tightly at her sides, her face contorted into a scowl, tears of anger running silently down her face. She followed Nina's line of vision to Maddie, who was wrapped securely in Amir's arms, whispering words of comfort to him that Tae could not hear. An intimidating guard with her hair pulled up tightly into a bun wrenched Maddie away from Amir and commanded her to come with her. Amir stood there stupidly, struggling not to cry, not knowing what to do.

"No," Nina yelled at the guard. "You can't do this!" She lifted her hands to shove the guard away from Maddie but Eric caught her wrist before she could make contact.

"Nina, stop," he ordered her sternly. "You're going to get yourself kicked out."

Nina spun away from him and clutched her wrist to her chest. "Good," she hissed at him. "I want to be kicked out. I want to be with Maddie."

Eric stepped closer to her and lowered his voice. "Nina, I know this doesn't make sense, but you have to –"

"No, I don't have to do anything," Nina snapped, before she turned away and ran to catch up with the guard, who was leading a somber-looking Maddie out.

"You had better stay here, Nina," Maddie stated resolutely, her mouth quivering as she struggled to stop herself from crying. She glanced at Nina and recognized the defiance that flashed in her friend's face. "Don't give me that look, I mean it. I don't want you following after me."

Nina tilted her head slowly, not understanding Maddie's request. "But we said we would stick together, no matter what." Another humiliating, hot tear ran down her cheek; she roughly swiped her sleeve – Eric's sleeve, she corrected herself, 'that bastard' – across her face.

The guard paused at a set of heavy iron doors to punch the necessary codes into the keypad. Maddie gripped Nina's trembling hands. "We will be together, Nina." She brought Nina's hand up to her chest and placed her palm on top of Nina's over her heart. "In here, always." She chocked back a sob. "But I will never, ever forgive you if you give up your dream to be in Dauntless for me."

Nina shook her head quickly, pleading silently with her eyes, struggling to express the words that would make Maddie understand. "But it's not my dream if you're not here with me. It was always supposed to be the two of us against the world."

Maddie's mouth gaped open, but she could not think of a proper answer. Instead she threw herself at Nina, embracing her tightly. "Stay. For me. Please. You don't deserve a life being Fact – Fact –," she could not bring herself to verbalize her own fate. "A life out there."

The guard opened the entry and commanded Maddie to follow her in but Nina refused to let go. "I can't let you go alone," she wailed. "We have to stick together. I have to come with you."

"That's not currently an option," said a cold voice behind her, "but we can certainly arrange your future dismissal if you're so adamant about becoming Factionless."

Nina let go of Maddie and spun around to face the person addressing her. The furious retort bubbling up in her throat vanished the moment she realized it was Max.

The metal doors thudded permanently closed behind her; Maddie was gone. Nina lifted the hem of her shirt to wipe the tears off her face. She took a deep breath and shuddered before calmly replying. "What do you want?" Her dejected words came out sounding more like a statement than a question.

"Come with me," he answered simply, then turned away without looking back to see if Nina would follow.

Nina shivered, not for the first time. The small interrogation room she was in was icy cold. She sat alone, her left elbow resting on the table with her chin propped up on her fist. The metal surface of the table was marred by countless figures and doodles and names. She took out her pocketknife to carve something in but could only bring herself to scratch in the uninspiring letter 'x' over and over again. Goosebumps prickled on her flesh but she didn't even feel them. She didn't feel anything.

Nina had silently followed Max down winding steps and long corridors until he'd deposited her in this room and left her there without explanation. She hadn't even had the energy to see if he'd locked the door behind him. She didn't care.

Memories swirled in Nina's head. Climbing apple trees with Maddie. Slicing her palm open at the Choosing Ceremony. Saying goodbye to her parents. Maddie lying unconscious in a hospital bed. The snake biting her. Maddie dragging her out to the clinic. Jeanine Matthews torturing a Factionless patient. Saying goodbye to Maddie. Maddie, Maddie, Maddie.

Nina wanted to disassociate from her body. She didn't want these thoughts with her. She didn't want to be in her head anymore. She was tired of things being so confusing and difficult. When had life become this way? When had things stopped being so… easy and carefree? Had it always been this way, and Nina had just turned a blind eye to the truth? If this was the real world, Nina wanted no part in it. She wished she could shut her eyes and snap her fingers and make things okay again.

Growling in frustration, Nina flung her knife at the wall where it embedded in a crack in the grey stone. At that moment, the door opened and Eric stepped in. He looked at her but she turned her eyes down. If she looked up at him now, she felt she would be unable to refrain from yelling in his face. Or seeking solace in his arms. Or both. Eric yanked the knife out of the wall and slid it across the table to Nina, then sat in a chair across from her.

Max and Four came in next, shutting the door behind them. Four took a seat beside Eric while Max sat at the head of the table.

"I'm sure you know why we've brought you here today," began Max, looking at Nina expectantly.

Nina kept her eyes downcast and didn't speak. She flicked the folding knife in her hand open and closed repeatedly.

"Nina," Eric said, a warning tone in his voice.

She glanced up at him in anger, then slipped the knife in her pocket, forcefully smoothed out her expression, and looked at Max. "No, I don't."

Four leaned forward and slid Clark's notebook to the middle of the table for Nina to take. She took it from him, and her scowl was replaced by an expression of surprise. She turned to Max and quirked up her eyebrow. "Clark's trial…?"

He nodded. "We're investigating the actions he's committed against you. We need your account of the details before we can declare him guilty." He dipped his head in Eric's direction, prompting him to continue and forcing Nina to look at the man who she felt had betrayed her.

"Ultimately Clark's punishment will lie in your hands," Eric explained. "Once we reach a verdict, you'll have until nightfall to make your decision."

She inclined her head in confusion. "Decision on what?" Her body tensed apprehensively.

"Whether he lives or dies," Eric answered matter-of-factly.

For a moment Nina thought he was joking, but she saw nothing but frankness in his steely eyes. She drew a sharp breath and looked away.

"To commit a violent crime against another member of one's Faction, even an Initiate, is punishable by death in Dauntless," Max elaborated.

"Or," interjected Four, who placed his crossed arms on the table to lean in towards Nina, "you can choose to make him Factionless. Clark won't be welcome in Dauntless anymore either way, but as his victim you're responsible for choosing his fate."

Nina nodded. "If I choose to – " she paused momentarily and nibbled her bottom lip. "If I want him dead, how…?" Her unfinished question lingered in the air, its meaning understood by all.

"Customarily you would shoot him, or use another weapon of choice to dispatch him. The caveat being that the execution must be carried out swiftly and tidily." Max answered gruffly. "Alternatively you could select a Leader to perform the execution on your behalf."

Nina shut her eyes momentarily and drew another shuddering breath as she considered his offer. She opened her eyes and shook her head. "No, I don't think I could ever make someone do that for me."

Four nodded and placed a recording device onto the center of the table, his index finger lingering over the start button. "We still need your account of things, so if you're ready to begin…?"

Nina bit back a yawn as a wave of exhaustion hit her. The past 24 hours had been physically and mentally draining, and Maddie's dismissal had only – Nina pressed her fingers to the sides of her temple and stopped that train of thought in its tracks. She couldn't think of Maddie now. She had to handle one problem at a time or else the anxiety would consume her. She lowered her palms and looked forward resolutely. "I'm ready."

After Max had delivered his verdict to Clark in the interrogation room, he collected a short stack of paperwork and ordered Eric to take Clark back to his cell. Eric lead Clark down the winding stairs more forcefully than was necessary, pushing at him and yanking on his cuffs to make him move faster. When they arrived at Clark's cell, he thrust him inside and went to close the door of his enclosure.

"Your whore doesn't belong here," sneered Clark, scowling up at Eric who loomed over him.

Eric instantly reacted, shoving the boy against the back wall and wrapping his hand around his throat. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Clark coughed and sputtered, and Eric reluctantly loosened his hold on his neck. "You know exactly what I mean," Clark taunted. "You're just blinded to the truth. That stupid bitch has no place here. I was doing you all a favor by getting rid of her."

Eric yanked the boy by the neck up against the wall then forcefully dropped him to the floor. Clark winced as he sat up, rubbing the raw skin on his neck. "That's for choking Nina," hissed Eric. "And if I hear you say one more word about her, I will come in here and kill you myself." He slammed Clark's head once against the wall for emphasis, then left the small cell and locked Clark in it.

Nina sat curled up in a ball on the ledge of the roof, her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around her legs, watching the sun begin to sink low in the sky. The orange rays melting into a haze of pink and purple depicted a scene of perfect beauty and bliss that Nina could not feel within herself; instead she felt only turmoil and dejection. She'd sat here for the past several hours after Max had reached an official verdict. The roof was the only place in Dauntless that was quiet enough for her to think. The Pit had been swarmed with partying Dauntless members, and the tattoo parlour packed with excited Initiates celebrating with new tattoos and piercings. No one seemed to notice or care that Dauntless had lost Maddie. Nina couldn't bear to hear them cheering and laughing when her best friend was absent. She tried desperately to focus her concentration on Clark, on the decision that she needed to make, but her thoughts kept wandering.

Nina closed her eyes and rested her head in her knees. She exhaled slowly and tried to clear her mind of all thoughts. For a moment she could almost forget everything, almost pretend that everything was ok, almost image that her life was carefree… but the weight of the choice she needed to make brought her crashing back down to reality. Time was running out. The silence on the roof hadn't been enough.

"You have an hour left."

Nina jolted, lifting her weary head from her knees. She twisted her neck to stare blankly at Eric for a moment then turned her back to him once more.

"You should come eat something."

Nina scoffed and opened her mouth to retort, but snapped her mouth quickly closed. She realized she hadn't eaten in nearly a day and wondered if putting some food in her stomach would help to clarify the decision she needed to make. The mere thought of killing Clark made her stomach churn, but the thought of letting him go, of letting him live after all he had put her through, made her equally sick.

She unlocked her arms from their rigid embrace around her legs and stood, wobbling slightly. Her body felt stiff and weak, and she stretched her arm up and twisted her body, relieving some of the tension in her back and shoulders. Eric had left already, leaving in place the stone Nina had used to prop open the door with.

Nina caught up quickly with Eric; by now, she could weave confidently through the corridors and staircases in the main levels of Dauntless. She padded quietly behind Eric to his room, making little noise with her feet but knowing he could sense her presence regardless. Years of training had instilled in him hawk-like hearing and vision. Nina had noticed the way he always surveyed a room carefully upon entering it, searching for possible threats, and the way he never left his back to a door. She wondered briefly if his training had made him wary of others' intentions, and if she could ever truly trust someone like that. She sighed and looked down, realizing with little interest that she was still barefoot from the morning. Nina didn't know if she'd ever get accustomed to always having to wear combat boots or sneakers. She remembered running barefoot through the apple orchards of her home Faction, laughing with Maddie, her bare feet caressing the soft grass, and wondered for the first time how much easier her life would have been if she'd stayed in Amity. Maybe she'd made a mistake in choosing Dauntless. Maybe this wasn't the place for her after all.

Nina sat on a stool at Eric's kitchen counter. He shoved a plate filled with food he'd saved from the cafeteria towards her. He looked irritated about something but Nina didn't care enough to ask why. 'He wants to be annoyed with me? Fine then,' she thought bitterly to herself. 'I'm the only one here who has any real reason to be upset about anything. Traitor.' She stabbed angrily at her food, chewing it quickly, hardly caring for its taste, and suddenly realized Eric was staring at her expectantly, waiting to say something. She pushed her plate away – she didn't think she could keep much more food down anyways – and looked up at Eric. "What?"

His gaze was resolute. "I will kill him for you if you ask. You know I will. I know you've never killed anyone before, and might have qualms about doing it, but I would have no problem killing him. It's what he deserves."

Nina envisioned Eric pressing a pistol to the side of Clark's greasy head and pulling the trigger. His words implied that he'd already killed someone, maybe killed multiple people. She sighed and pressed her fingers against the back of her sore neck. "I don't need you to do anything for me. You've done enough as it is," she stated, her tone frosty.

Frustration flashed in his eyes. "Fine." He set his mouth in a grim line and glanced down at his black wristwatch. "Forty minutes until sunset."

Nina turned and dumped the contents of her plate into Eric's trash bin, took a moment to lace up her black sneakers, then turned to watch him. He had settled onto his couch with a book held up by his left hand, his eyes skimming quickly over the pages. Nina wrestled with the resentment she felt within, struggling to find the right words to say. She couldn't keep it in any longer. "You could have saved her," she said finally, her voice threatening to break. "You could have saved Maddie, and you didn't." She blinked away the tears of anger that burned at her eyes.

Eric briefly lowered his book, his grey eyes meeting her hazel ones. "You have no idea what you're talking about." Then he tore his glare away from her and focused once more on his book.

Nina stomped over to him. "What is so special about this damned book that you can't even –" She cut off her furious rant as she recognized the cover of the book. It was the same one she'd thumbed through several days earlier after discovering it on Eric's nightstand. The watermarks on the shabby cover indicated that the book had been read several times. She snatched the book from his hands and thumbed through it eagerly, searching for the page he'd scribbled on. When she finally found the dog-eared page, she scanned its contents rapidly. Her breath hitched in her throat; the words on this page held the answer she needed, if she had the courage to go through with her decision. She carelessly ripped the page out of the book, ignoring Eric's protests, and stormed out of his studio.

She marched down the corridors to the lower levels of Dauntless where Clark was being kept to await his punishment. A set of guards blocked the entrance to the secured area; they parted when Eric, who was tailing Nina closely, gestured to be let through with a casual flick of his hand. They entered a dark corridor that branched off into multiple other hallways with locked doors. Nina slowed to trail Eric, who knew the way. Motion-detection lights flickered on as they passed beneath them, illuminating the bland hallway.

At the end of the corridor, they reached a room that Eric opened using fingerprint detection software on a panel to the right of the door. Inside the bleak grey room were Max and Four, waiting in silence.

"You're early," stated Max, crossing his arms sternly. On a table in the corner, Four set out a variety of weapons.

A part of Nina itched to pick up the .45 or the 9mm and get this done with quickly. She stared at the weapons rack and suddenly realized she'd been standing there silently for several minutes. "I'm ready," she told the men. She swallowed hard and turned her gaze to the other side of the room. Beyond a thick wall of glass, she could see Clark sitting dejected on the cold floor, thumping his head repeatedly against the wall behind him. When he noticed her observing at him, he lifted his head and stretched his thin lips into a sinister grin that made Nina's stomach turn. She subconsciously tapped the folding knife in her pocket as if to check that it was still there.

Four approached the glass and passed his ID through a device in the wall. A panel in the wall slid up, and Clark - who had his wrists handcuffed behind his back - stumbled out. Four commanded the boy to kneel in the center of the room, and then he backed away to join Max and Eric behind Nina. She could feel the three men watching her every move

Clark glowered at Nina. She took a step forward, paused, and turned back to look at Eric. He gave her one curt nod. She exhaled apprehensively and looked forward again. She felt a trickle of sweat run down her back as she nervously smoothed out the slip of paper that she'd inadvertently crumpled up in her fist.

Her words wavered as she spoke to the hateful boy that had made her life miserable. "I want to know why you did those things to me. Why you tried to kill me."

Clark spit on the floor in response.

Nina marched up to him and grabbed him by the hair on the nape of his neck, forcing him to look up at her. "Tell me," she demanded.

"You and your cunt friend didn't fit into Dauntless since day one," he jeered at her. "You're just a useless Amity Hippie trying to be something you're not, but I see right through you." Nina's heart clenched at his words and she dropped her hand from his head, her hand suddenly feeling dirty and slimy from merely touching him. Clark's voice dropped to a sinister hiss. "You don't belong in Dauntless. You don't belong anywhere. Soon enough they'll see that. You'll be kicked out, just like your stupid, broken, freak of a friend – "

Before Nina knew what she was doing, she had whipped out the small knife from her pocket and pressed it to Clark's throat. "Don't fucking talk about her," she seethed at him.

"Go on, kill me," retorted Clark, a derisive snarl on his lips. A trickle of blood began to flow beneath the sharp edge of the blade against his neck. "You pathetic loser. Everyone will realize soon enough the truth about you, just like they realized about Maddie." He spit out his words heatedly, inflecting Maddie's name with a tone of utter contempt.

Nina reacted immediately. She swiftly stabbed at Clark, pinning the thin sheet of paper to his earlobe with the knife. She stepped away, feeling her entire body shaking, and beheld her work. The thin blade of her pocketknife had sheared straight through the bottom of Clark's earlobe, which was now bleeding profusely. Clark sat there stunned, his mouth gaping open and his face completely pale. After an instant, the weight of the knife's handle brought the blade down, ripping Clark's earlobe completely open as it fell, clattering to the floor. The paper that had been pinned to his ear floated in the air for a moment, the sheet dotted with red droplets, and came to rest on the stone ground.

Nina turned to face the three Leaders behind her, nodded at them without uttering a word, and walked out the door, not sparing a second glance at Clark. The boy was clutching at his torn ear and staring in shock at the small pool of blood on the floor.

Max, Four, and Eric remained hushed in awe, gawking down at the pathetic, whimpering boy knelt before them. After a moment, Eric stepped forward, gingerly picked up the torn scrap of paper, and read the familiar words aloud:

"Vengeance, retaliation, retribution, revenge are deceitful brothers—vile, beguiling demons promising justifiable compensation to a pained soul for his losses. Yet in truth they craftily fester away all else of worth remaining."

What did you think of the exchange between Clark and Eric, and Clark and Nina? Do you have any guesses as to what that's all about? What did you think of Nina's final decision? Did she do the right thing, or was she too violent, or not violent enough? As always, I appreciate your feedback!

Credit to author Richelle Goodrich for the quote from her novel The Tarishe Curse.