Saturday drifted forward slowly, much too slowly for Nico's taste. Jason insisted on getting him some new clothes, which Nico didn't agree with.
"You can't go to college orientation wearing steel-toed combat boots and a dirty T-shirt with a skull on it," chided Jason. "Everyone will think you're dark or something."
"I am dark," said Nico flatly. "I am the night, and all of the creatures that lurk in it."
Jason rolled his eyes. "Seriously man, I'm not letting you go like this. Come on."
Nico had fought him the whole way, but somehow he ended up with a nice winter coat (black, because he flat out refused to get any other color), some new jeans (black as well, though Jason talked him out of the suffocatingly tight ones) and a thick gray sweater.
"See, was that so bad?" asked Jason as they left the store with their purchases, Jason holding the bags. He sounded tired but pleased with himself all the same.
Nico shrugged. "It was pretty awful."
Jason shoved him in the arm but laughed all the same.
"Hey, let's get some coffee," suggested Jason as they rounded the corner. A Starbucks was tucked into the row of buildings, their brightly colored banners advertising hot chocolate.
"Um…" Nico thought of his wallet, and the dwindling money in his bank account.
"Don't worry, this one's on me," said Jason, smiling kindly.
"You really don't need to do that," stammered Nico.
Jason just took his arm and steered him towards the Starbucks.
Once inside they were forced to wait in line. A group of girls were chatting loudly in front of them. They were around the same age as him, Nico thought. They were all bundled in fuzzy scarves and sweaters. One of them glanced behind her, and for a moment their eyes met. Nico looked away quickly, his eyes fixing on Jason instead, who was squinting at the menu.
"What do you want?" asked Jason. "I think I'm going to go for the hot chocolate. I don't like whip cream though. Do you think that would be a problem?"
Nico sighed with forced exasperation. "I'll eat the whip cream for you," he said sarcastically. "If it really bothers you that much."
The girls seemed to have heard this comment, as they all started to giggle and look over their shoulders at them.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry but you two are so cute," said one of the girls, turning to face them. She had dark hair and pale skin.
Nico felt his cheeks begin to grow warm. He feigned a sudden interest in his boots.
"Um thank you," said Jason, barely batting an eye. Of course. He probably got complemented like this all the time.
"How long have you two been together?" asked another girl excitedly. Her skin was dark, the color of milk chocolate.
Nico looked up in alarm, his insides recoiling upon themselves.
Jason laughed easily, which was a wonder, considering that Nico was about two seconds from running for it.
"Oh, we're not a couple," said Jason. "We're just friends. Right Nico?"
Nico forced himself to meet the gaze of the girls. "Yes. Just friends," he said stiffly.
"Are you sure?" asked the first girl, her eyes widening in surprise. "You know, it's totally okay if you are! It's 2015 after all."
The other girls nodded in encouragement while Jason assured them that really, they were just friends out to get coffee together. But Nico didn't hear any of it. Instead he heard the voices in his head that had tormented him as a child, convincing him that if dared tell anyone his secret he would be even more of an outcast than he already was. His childhood flickered behind his eyes. Years of him hiding, refusing to tell anyone, though the secret burned inside him.
Nico turned and hurried out of the shop, shouldering open the door, the brisk air like a slap to the face. He was nearly out of the mall when someone grabbed his arm, jerking him backwards.
"What the hell was that?"
It was Jason, his glasses speckled with rain, a furious expression on his face.
Nico tried to tug himself free of Jason's grasp, but he held on with a vice-like grip.
"Let me go," said Nico coldly, twisting in an attempt to get away.
"Seriously Nico, what's your problem?" asked Jason. "Those girls just misunderstood. There was no reason for you to storm out like that."
"You couldn't understand," snarled Nico, feeling irrationally angry. When he got like this, it was best for him to be alone. He tended to hurt anyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.
"What, because I'm not gay?" said Jason. His voice had dropped to an almost-whisper, his words nearly lost on the wind.
Nico wrenched himself free at last, his dark eyes flashing.
"Just leave me alone," he said. He turned and stalked away, his pace brisk. He didn't look back to see Jason's look of anger thinly veiling the true sadness that he undoubtedly felt for Nico.
I bet he only wanted to spend time with me because he feels bad for me, thought Nico to himself bitterly as he wove in and out through the pedestrians and tourists flocking the sidewalk.
He reached his flat at last and locked himself inside. The air was cold and still in here, and he could see his breath fanning out in front of him with every exhale.
He pressed his palms into his eyes, not moving them until stars darted behind his eyelids.
Maybe he shouldn't have told Jason his secret. All it had done was cause problems.
Nico sat there in the dimly lit apartment, regret roiling through him like bubbling acid. He should have known better. Keeping to himself had gotten him through life just fine.
All at once a wave of exhaustion washed over him. He thought back to the night before and couldn't remember if he had ever actually fallen asleep. He yearned for an escape into the darkness where he could leave his feelings behind and be at peace—if only for a few hours.
Without bothering to change he curled up on the bed. For once, he fell asleep without any trouble.