Editors Note: I've been waiting to do this chapter forever! I know what to do about it to! So chapter 11 is new but I really wanted to do this chapter. Enjoy! It's gonna be a sad one so a warning. R.I.P Eddie Guererro….

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November 13, 2005. My D-Day. I dread this day totally. He was alright the night before. That's what I kept telling myself. The interrogations, his body on the floor, the crime scene, I tear up just thinking about it. The night before I was on the phone with him talking about meeting up with him. We were talking about how high school was going good for me. He called me again at 3 in the morning telling me he didn't feel well and wondered if I could just see him at the arena later. I said yes. He told me he loved me. I told him I loved him back. That was the last time we exchanged I love you's. It was at least 9:00 in the morning. I was in my 2nd hour when I was called to the office. My Dad was standing there. It looked like he had been crying.

"Dad what's going on?"

"Honey…god I don't know how to tell you…"

"How about just plainly?"

"Something is wrong…"
My Dad stopped there. I knew what he was going to say. It was Eddie. Something was wrong with Eddie. He wasn't feeling well the night before. I rushed to the car and waited for him to get in. He drove the fastest I could ever remember. When we reached the hotel I ran to Eddie's room. The cops were blocking the door. All the stars were gathered around the door, trying to get in. I say Chris, Dave, Rey and Dean in there. I made my way through the crowd to the police.

"No one past this point."

"Let me in!"

"Sorry no one past this point."

I stood there for a while. Then I pushed past them and ran into the room. Dean looked up. He had been crying. Then I saw him. He looked lifeless on that hotel floor. He was breathing slightly, and paramedics were trying to revive him. I ran to him and kneeled down. People were trying to get me away, but I shoved them away. Eddie looked at me and smiled a little.

"Sarah…"

"Eddie! Are you OK? Will you be OK?"

"I love you…sorry…"

"Sorry for what? SORRY FOR WHAT?"

With that, he closed his eyes, and took his last breath. The monitor said his heart stopped beating. The paramedics were working at top speed. Dave got me and pulled me back. No, this wasn't happening. Then the paramedics stopped working. They turned the monitor off.

"He's gone."

Those words stabbed me. No, not now! He was Eddie! He promised he would go to my graduation. That's why he was sorry. I stopped breathing at that moment. A paramedic brushed past me to tell everyone else. I stood there, looking at Eddie's lifeless body. He was gone. I broke out into the loudest cry I had ever cried. Dave hugged me and cried. Rey, Chris and Dean surrounded me. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't accept it. I got out of Dave's arms and ran. I ran past all the stars and I ran down the stairs. I ran out the door and ran straight. No real location I wanted to go. I just wanted to run. I stopped running when I got beyond the city and to the wooded part of the bridge. I was supposed to meet him there. He told me he didn't feel well. I could have told someone. It was my fault he died. I was crying so hard. I looked up to the sky.

"You promised me!"

That was directed toward Eddie. I directed my anger to God.

"You took my best friend away from me! How could you! He wasn't ready! Now he's gone! You took him!"

I knelt on the hard gravel and cried. I heard a car pull up. A person ran up behind me. I could tell it was my Dad. I turned and cradled into his arms. He was crying like I was. We stayed there for a while.

"Dad, he promised me…"

"I know baby I know."

"He told me he didn't feel well. I didn't tell anyone. It's all my fault!"

"No it's not. Don't think that."

"I could have told someone. Anyone. But I didn't. He could have gone to the hospital…"

"The same thing would have happened. We couldn't have stopped it."

"We couldn't but I could have!"

My Dad was trying to calm me down. But it wasn't working. My best friend was long gone. Tonight he wouldn't be at the arena to greet me. My Dad carried me and put me in the passenger seat. I buried my face into his arm as he drove back to the city. We went past the hotel. I couldn't even look at that hotel. As we passed, news reporters were already on the scene. I wanted to scream at them to leave it alone. We got to the Target Center. My Dad asked some guy to bring out luggage in. He carried me to the arena. He put me down. I couldn't stop crying. I ran to the diva's locker room. Me, Amy, Trish, and Stacy all hugged and cried. Some tech guy came in and motioned to me.

"We need you for a video."

"Fuck you I don't want to do it."

"It's for Eddie."

For Eddie. I broke away and followed the guy. He led me to this room that had a purple sheet as a background. My Dad had already gone and was standing on the side. The people waited till I got dressed. I wore some jeans and my Roseville zip up. I had been getting call after call on my cell phone. I ignored all of them. I sat on the black stool. I didn't want to do this. But it was for Eddie. The guy held up his hand and counted down.

"Me and Eddie were close from the moment I stepped into this business. Every night when I was with Smackdown, we would tour the arena and warm up in the ring like we did my first day. When I went to RAW we did tours ourselves and taped them and then sent the tapes to each other. I have so many memories of him; I don't know where to start. Maybe when one time in Houston we got lost in the arena and didn't show up at curtain until we had to go on stage. I don't want to believe this. I don't think anyone does. I will miss Eddie so god damn much. I loved him so much; he was like my other dad. I will miss you Eddie…"

I couldn't finish. I ran off the set out to the door. I ran around the arena. I was looking for mine and Shawn's room. I finally found it. I went in and got a piece of paper and a pen. It was obviously laid out before by Shawn or someone. I started to write.

Screw headlines, screw a letter to myself. I just lost a friend I will never get back. If you have ever encountered that, then you know how bad it feels. I feel guilty for his death. I knew he wasn't well. I didn't do anything about it. Why? Hell I don't know why. All I know is that I have died inside. Eddie meant the world to me. More then anyone else in the world. He tied with my Dad I loved him that much! But now he's gone. It will be a long time before I see him again, and that kills me. So advice? No fucking advice. Or how about this? Next time, be more fucking alert when someone says they don't feel well. Now I have to live life like he doesn't even exist anymore. That shit will be painful. When you read this next, I hope you've moved on. Because it will take a god damn miracle for that to happen.

I shoved the letter into the little door. Shawn came in after that. I looked up at him with my tear stained face. He bent down and hugged me tight. I cried the last tears I thought I had. Finally I let go.

"This sucks."

"Yes it does."

It was silence for a while in the room.

"It's going to take a while you know."

"It's so close to my birthday."

"You'll get passed it."

"He was supposed to come with me to get my permit."

"It's going to hurt for a while."

"We were going to drive to the Mall of America."

"Are you paying any attention to what I'm saying?!"

I stopped my random thinking. Shawn sighed and put his arm around me.

"It will take a while to get over. But someday you will. It seems damn far away, but it will happen. Its hurts I know. I don't want you to forget him completely. But there will be one day when not one memory will fly by your brain. Trust me sweetheart. Just…keep holding on."

"I'll try."

That's all I could say. Shawn got a page that said we had to go out to the stage. All the stars were on the stage. I stood with my Dad on my right, Shawn on my left, Dave behind me and Rey in front of me. The show started with Eddie chants throughout the crowd. Vince was saying something, but I wasn't even trying to hear him. My mind was wrapped around Eddie. The horrific scene in the hotel room was haunting me. Then I think we were taking a moment of silence. My Dad was squeezing my hand at this point. I felt like I was going to cry, but I was out of tears. Then the emotional show began. The whole time I was waiting for my match against Trish for a chance at her belt, I was backstage by the curtain. I had changed into a Viva La Raza! shirt. The stars passed me in a blur. I talked to everyone that had called me during the day. Then it was my turn to go on. My music played. I went out to the crowd as loud as ever. I wanted to run back to the locker room and cry, but I had to face the music. Keep holding on. I held onto those words through that whole night. I reached the ring and hugged Trish. It was for her title. I was half way through the fight when I remembered something. Eddie was supposed to come down to the ring with me. Tears started to fall. We were going to go out to Big Bowl after my match. My vision started to get blurry. He was going to give me my first taste of alcohol. I started to miss my punches. He was going to help me pass my test. I started to slow down. He promised me. I finally fell to the mat and broke down. I didn't care about the match. I didn't care about anything. I wanted Eddie back. Trish told the guy to ring the bell. She came to me and hugged me. She knew how deep my relationship with Eddie was. My Dad came running out to me. 'Eddie' chants erupted through the building. My Dad carried me out of the ring. People were clapping for me. They were chanting my name. My name with Eddies.

I made it out to walk my Dad out to his match. After his match, he took his shirt and put in the middle of the ring. He put his belt over it. I kissed the shirt before I left the ring. We went back to our room. We were staying in Minnesota for my school. I wanted to get out of the state. But I had to stay for one more week. Just one more week.

I didn't go to school the next week. My Dad decided that we go to Phoenix and see his family. Vickie called me and asked if I wanted to go there. I said yes in a heartbeat. The school understood why I wasn't in school. My friends came by my hotel room before I left to comfort me and to give me get well presents. When we got to Phoenix I wanted to see my aunt that lived there. I took a cab there and stayed at her house for a while. Then I went back to Vickie's house. She invited me to Eddie's burial. I also said yes. I hung out with Eddie's daughters the rest of the time.

Eddie's funeral was the Sunday after his death. Autopsy didn't really do anything; just say it was past problems. I spoke at the burial about how close I was to him. Then that night I left for the next house show. I still couldn't get by any day, any minute, without thinking about Eddie. But my birthday was coming up. It was on Tuesday. All I could think was 'this birthday will suck ass.' It did to some extent, but that was the day I barely thought about Eddie. I did at the end of the day, but all in all it was a good day.

I still think about Eddie today, as I wait for my plane in this god forsaken air port. My flight has been delayed. God damn snow in Minnesota. This will give me more time though. Anyways. The day I didn't think about Eddie was about 2 months after. It surprised me, but then things got easier. But I do think about him. Especially on that 1 year anniversary in 2006. I cried that whole day man. But life was good to me. Up to that point in time. Now my birthday. How…that…sucked.