Memories of a Stranger

Chapter 5

Hi everybody! It's the next chapter! Yay! I'm really sorry about how long it took! I know I said that last chapter, but I really didn't know what to do next. I know that the hiatus has been pretty long… Sorry…

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"Gwaine," Merlin said as he sat down at the lunch table.

"Hey, mate," Gwaine replied. "Something up?"

"…My memories are back," Merlin sighed. "All of them."

"You okay?" Gwaine asked, worried.

"I don't know. It's confusing to bring together both of my lives, you know?" Merlin answered.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it after a while," Gwaine told him. "You'll be okay."

"… Morgause is back. We have to stop her," Merlin continued.

Gwaine sighed.

"She didn't learn her lesson, then? I'm sure you'll be able to defeat her," he said.

"You're all supposed to help me, but… I think Arthur is too," Merlin explained. "I don't know if I can do that. I don't think I can go into battle with him when I can't even stay calm around him. I'm not that strong."

"Merlin, you're the strongest person I know, and it's not like you need Arthur, anyway," Gwaine tried to comfort.

"No, Gwaine, I'm not. I'm not strong. Remember how I thought the memory of my death was a dream? I couldn't handle reliving it every night," Merlin pulled up his sleeve and held out his arm before continuing. "I did this Gwaine."

"Merlin…," Gwaine trailed off, clearly upset.

The pair stayed silent for a while as they both tried to come to terms with everything.

"I should kill him," Gwaine finally growled.

"Please don't," Merlin said. "It's not worth going to jail for. And I did it to myself, anyway."

Throughout the day, Merlin succeeded in explaining the situation to Gaius and Guinevere and avoiding Arthur and Morgana. As he entered his home, he found Hunith waiting for him.

"Are you okay, Honey?" she asked.

"I'm better than I was this morning," Merlin told her. "Did you know about all this?"

Hunith nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Merlin asked in a raspy whisper.

"I thought it would be worse if you knew. I thought that if you didn't know it was real, you wouldn't be as afraid. It's a lot scarier as a memory than as a nightmare, isn't it?" Hunith replied.

This time, Merlin nodded.

"I wish I didn't remember anything," said Merlin. "But I had to. I have to stop Morgause again."

"Oh, Honey," Hunith said. "I wish you never had to deal with this destiny."

"I know," Merlin agreed.

"Have you seen Morgause?" Hunith asked.

Merlin shook his head.

"She's probably hiding somewhere," Merlin replied.

Eventually, Merlin went into his room to do his homework. Later that night, he fell asleep without a nightmare for the first time in a long time.

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I'm sorry this chapter's so short after such a long hiatus. I'm kind of using this as a transitioning chapter for Merlin starting to accept everything. I'm still really sorry about how long the hiatus was…