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Kakei entered the store and just watched them. Rikuo was checking out customers and Kazahaya was explaining to someone about the different types of skin creams they had. Everything appeared normal but they were far from it.
Done helping the customer, Kazahaya picked up the broom and continued sweeping. The boy's face held no expression, like his mind was completely blank. In times past, Kazahaya would dance with the music played over the speakers or maybe talk to himself as he worked. This silent and still person was not the Kazahaya he knew.
Rikuo watched the customer leave then looked for Kazahaya. He went to him and said something to Kazahaya. Kazahaya laughed softly and accepted Rikuo's touch when the boy reached out and brushed his hair. Rikuo, taking his time then leaned forward and placed a light kiss at the corner of Kazahaya's mouth. Again Kazahaya accepted the kiss but he didn't try to take it any further, instead he pulled back gently.
Kakei could see Rikuo's disappointment but he didn't say a word. There was a time when such attention would have Kazahaya red-faced and trembling with excitement but now he was calm, lacking all the emotions that made him the Kazahaya they knew and loved. The boy had seemed to do a complete turn around from not being able to forgive Rikuo to smiling and being friendly with him. As far as Kakei knew, the subject of why Rikuo had left and all that had happened during that time had been set to the side and forgotten between the boys.
But obviously that wasn't completely true. Kazahaya smiled but his eyes didn't reflect that smile. He laughed but it lacked joy and despite Kazahaya letting Rikuo be close to him and touch him, Kakei was sure the boys hadn't made love.
Things were far from normal and Kakei missed Saiga. His better half had been gone over a month. He'd left town right after Shane had left for America. A week had gone by after their last visit with Shane in the hospital when he called to tell them when his flight was. Immediately they arranged to take him out on the town before escorting him to the airport and seeing him off.
They treated him to some Japanese theater and afterwards took Shane to a nice restaurant. At the airport they exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses then stayed to watch his plane take off. Shane was a nice guy and they hoped to remain friends with him. A day or two later, Saiga got the okay from the doctor. He packed a few bags and said goodbye to the boys. Kakei drove him to the train station and they said their goodbyes in private.
Thinking back on that Kakei remembered how upset Kazahaya had been about Saiga leaving. Of course he'd tried to mask his feelings but it was plain to see that Saiga going to Osaka was a very big deal to him but he wasn't sure why. It was a big deal to Kakei too but for a different reason. Kakei felt a little lost without Saiga. He - all three of them were incomplete without Saiga. It was hard to feel things were going to be alright when one of them was gone so soon after the incident with Osawa.
Sighing, Kakei tried to put the depressing thoughts away and went to the boys. He smiled and touched them both, "Hey, how about we go see a movie tonight, something funny?"
"What about Saiga's phone call?" Kazahaya asked. He knew that Saiga called Kakei every night and Kazahaya was sure Kakei wouldn't want to miss it.
"We'll go to an early show. Come on I feel restless and in the need for laughs. I'll spring for some pizza!" Kakei cajoled.
Rikuo looked at Kazahaya, "It's been awhile, you wanna go?" He hoped so. Kazahaya didn't laugh much these days and Rikuo missed it. Maybe a funny movie would help.
Kazahaya looked into their hopeful faces and nodded. "Sure. What's playing?"
"I don't know, let's find out!" Kakei ushered them over to the counter where a paper lay and together they searched for the perfect movie. What Kakei didn't tell them was that Saiga would be home tonight. He'd had a vision just that morning that Saiga would be heading back today and would arrive this evening. Kakei wanted to take the boys out not just for some fun but to give Saiga some time to rest and to hear the information first before telling the boys. Besides that, he wanted some time alone with Saiga.
"Night boys, see you in the morning." Kakei said as he watched them mount the stairs.
"Night Kakei, thanks for the movie and pizza." Kazahaya replied turning to look down and saw the flash of pleasure cross the man's face as he opened his apartment door. It was then that Kazahaya knew things were about to change. Only Saiga put that look on Kakei's face.
"Kazahaya?" Rikuo called as he stood on the landing looking down and holding in a sob, Kazahaya quickly joined Rikuo.
They were both silent as they entered the apartment. Rikuo turned on the lights and dropped his keys on the table. Silently he watched Kazahaya sit on the couch and close his eyes. Just moments ago, Kazahaya was smiling easily but now something was wrong. He moved over to the couch and sat down beside him. Carefully he draped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. "You okay? Is it a headache?"
Kazahaya leaned into Rikuo and placed a hand over his heart. The strong beat gave him a measure of comfort. No, it wasn't a headache but heartache. Soon he would be leaving this man behind and the dread and pain was so intense, Kazahaya didn't know how he was going to be able to stand it. "Yeah…just came out of nowhere." He said softly.
Rikuo's hand moved to Kazahaya's neck and started massaging it. He loved these moments when Kazahaya needed him. Even though they shared an apartment and worked together everyday, Rikuo still missed Kazahaya. He knew it would take time for Kazahaya to fully forgive him but he longed for things to go back to the way they were.
Kazahaya would do and say the silliest things. He would go out of his way to make Rikuo laugh and he would bug Saiga endlessly – or at least he used to. Now it was Rikuo who tried to draw Kazahaya out of his shell. Sometimes he succeeded, most times not and even when he did, the smiles and laughter weren't the same. Rikuo also missed the closeness they had shared. Not since they stayed downstairs that night with Kakei and Saiga had he and Kazahaya shared a bed. At night his arms ached to feel that slight body close to his own. Not only that but he really wanted to make love, to show Kazahaya just how much he loved him. But he had to give Kazahaya time to trust him again. Rikuo stifled his impatience and did what he could to comfort the boy.
"You want something for the pain?" Rikuo asked and gently covered the hand on his chest. It was still wrapped up in a bandage. The skin color was off because Kazahaya still bore the mark of Black Shadow. Not only that but at times it would cramp up and Kazahaya could barely move it. When that happened, Rikuo would massage it for him. "Does your hand bother you too?"
Kazahaya shook his head. "N-no. Just hold me right now, that's all I need." Kazahaya said feeling tears gather beneath his lids. Not caring what happened or what Rikuo thought, he crawled up into Rikuo's lap and buried his face in Rikuo's neck.
Rikuo was already shocked that Kazahaya wanted him to hold him but now he was in his lap! Rikuo felt a quick flash of heat but it died quickly as he felt the tremors that Kazahaya couldn't hide and then the tears that wet his neck. "Hey, what is it? Kazahaya?" Gently he wrapped his arms about Kazahaya.
"J-just h-h-hold me!" He cried for his loss. He cried for what he could not have. He cried for whatever it was that was missing in him that kept Rikuo from fully loving him.
Morning came with the buzz of the alarm clock. Rikuo jerked awake and quickly turned it off. He looked down and saw that Kazahaya was still sleeping. He let his hand stroke the still wet cheek. Kazahaya had cried most of the night and Rikuo couldn't let him sleep alone so he'd undressed Kazahaya put him in his bed. All he did was hold him and try to steam the tears. It tore at him, the way Kazahaya cried. At some point during the night Rikuo had gotten up and got some pills for him. They would stop his headache and help him sleep because Rikuo couldn't stand the silent tears anymore.
As he watched, Kazahaya's lids fluttered. They were bruised from lack of sleep and crying all night. Very gently he leaned closer and kissed the parted lips and Kazahaya let out a soft sigh. Rikuo decided to let him sleep. It would give him time to talk to Kakei anyway and maybe they could figure out why Kazahaya's mood had changed so dramatically. Gently he rose and got ready for work.
In his dream, Kazahaya was chasing Rikuo. He was in front of Kazahaya just out of reach. No matter how fast Kazahaya ran, he could not get near Rikuo. Ahead of them was a doorway and if Kazahaya didn't hurry, soon Rikuo would walk through that door leaving him behind yet again. Kazahaya called out to him, begged Rikuo to stop but the boy didn't seem to hear him. The next thing Kazahaya knew was that Rikuo had stepped through the door and turned with his hand on the knob. Rikuo's mouth moved but no sounds could be heard. Kazahaya saw him raise his hand and wave before closing the door in his face.
Kazahaya jerked awake and reached for Rikuo but he was alone in the bed. It was too much like his dream and he lost it. Kazahaya found Rikuo's pillow and hugged it tight to his face and cried. Rikuo's scent surrounded him and Kazahaya drank it in trying to forget. He hadn't meant to worry Rikuo but knowing that Saiga was downstairs with the information that Rikuo waited on had been too much to bear. Everything would be happening quickly now.
Finally when it seemed as if he'd run out of tears, Kazahaya reluctantly sat up and let the pillow fall to the bed. Moving as if he'd been drugged, he carefully made the bed and went to the shower hoping it would make him feel better, at least enough to help him get through today and tonight. Tonight, he was sure, they'd see Saiga again and the end would begin. He ate a little, only because he knew he needed some food and with a heavy heart, Kazahaya went to work.
Kakei saw the boy enter the store three hours after opening and it was just as Rikuo had said – Kazahaya looked lost. The pizza and movie had cheered him enough to where he'd been able to smile and laugh easily if not exuberantly. Something in him had changed suddenly. Had he just had a delayed reaction to that mess with Osawa or was it something else?
"Kazahaya-kun? Rikuo tells me you had a really bad headache last night. Are you coming down with something?" Kakei approached him and felt his forehead, cheek and neck. "You don't feel overly warm. Is the pain gone now? You can go back upstairs if you don't feel like working." Kakei had slid one arm around the boy's shoulder and was surprised to feel Kazahaya rest his head against him. In the past weeks, Kazahaya had pulled away from all intimate contact.
Kazahaya let himself be held and took strength from the embrace before standing straight again. "I'm better now. I want to work. I guess it was just a fluke or something. Sorry for not being here to open the store." He managed a smile for them then moved to some boxes on the floor that were waiting to be emptied.
Rikuo and Kakei looked at each other and shrugged. There had to be more to it than that but pressing Kazahaya didn't seem like a good idea. For now they were going to leave it alone.
It was a work day. Nothing out of the ordinary about it. People came in browsed, bought something or left after looking. The store was kept clean, the shelves stocked and the customers treated with respect. They worked so well that when it came time to lock the door, that was the only thing they had to do. Turning out the lights they went into the back room and smelled an amazing aroma. Saiga stuck his head out of the apartment doorway, "Hey guys! I cooked! Come get it!"
Kazahaya watched as Rikuo stopped dead in shock then watched as hope and resignation fought for dominance over his face. Hope that Saiga had news and resignation that once again Tsukiko had eluded him.
More than anything, Kazahaya wanted to go upstairs and hide under his bed but the time for hiding from the truth was over. Air escaped him as he pasted on a smile. "Saiga! You're back. When did you get here?" He followed the man into the apartment and received a huge hug.
"I got back yesterday and slept all day!" Saiga squeezed the thin body then took another look at the boy's face. "Looks as if you could use a day's worth of sleep yourself. What's up?"
"Oh, I just a bad headache last night. Glad you're back." Kazahaya patted Saiga over the heart then stepped away not seeing Kakei and Saiga's worried eyes meet.
"Rikuo!" Saiga grabbed him and hugged him too. "Let's eat first and then we'll talk, okay?"
Rikuo studied the man's face. It wasn't solemn as if he had bad news. There was a hint of a smile not only from his lips but also from the lines that fanned out from behind the shades. "Yeah, okay. I can wait a little longer."
The boys washed their hands and moved to sit down while Kakei and Saiga looked on with hands entwined. "Rikuo's going to have a hard time with all this. He'll need all of this." Saiga turned his gaze to Kazahaya. "But Kazahaya...whatever's going on with the kid, I can't read him. His expression is so bland, that I get nothing from him."
"Yes I noticed. I think maybe he's hiding something. We should try to find out soon what's going on with him. Do what we can to help him before things get worse." Kakei squeezed Saiga's hand before joining the boys.
As usual, the food was great and everybody had a healthy appetite. They talked of mundane things, the store, the movie they'd seen and things like that. It wasn't until coffee was served and they'd moved to the sitting area that they began to deal with the 'Tsukiko situation.'
"A woman matching Tsukiko's description was definitely in Osaka and was there, as far as I can tell for about a month." Saiga looked at Rikuo who sat back in his chair.
"But…she's not now? Wait! A woman matching her…?" Rikuo asked confused.
"Listen, we only know that Osawa believed that the woman he met was Tsukiko and to answer your question, no. Well, if she's there now, I couldn't find her." Saiga took a sip of coffee. "It was as Osawa said, she arrived by plane. A car was waiting for her and Tsukiko, we'll go ahead and call her Tsukiko, was driven to a posh hotel. She stayed in a very expensive suite. I tried several different ways but could not find out whose money was paying for it all. I'd get a name from a maid then a different one from a desk clerk. I don't believe they knew themselves and were guessing. I even tried hacking one of the computers but there was no record at all of who paid or if they'd paid anything at all. The information had been deleted."
"Who in the hell is doing all this for her?" Rikuo rested his elbows on his thighs as he leaned forward.
"Or rather, who wants us to believe Tsukiko is doing these things. I figure that's the other half of this mystery – finding out who's behind Tsukiko's disappearing in the first place. You won't believe how she spent her time." Saiga switched topics to things he knew to be fact. "Tsukiko was a tourist while in Osaka. Yeah, she visited the city and national museums. Mostly she spent her time shopping in Umeda and the American Village. Not only that but she was seen at Universal Studios Japan. From all appearances she wasn't under any duress and was allowed to move about freely. Tsukiko was openly enjoying herself." Saiga paused again as Rikuo stood up.
"No. No, that can't be true. If she was able to go out, if she was free, how come she didn't call?!" Tortured eyes looked from Saiga to Kakei. "And what about the blood? All that blood in the apartment – it was her's, wasn't it? How could she be flying about in private jets and shopping and living as if everything was all right if she had lost all that blood? No! It wasn't her! It couldn't have been her!"
Kakei stood and stopped Rikuo's pacing. "Rikuo! Calm down! Rikuo!" Rikuo had pushed Kakei to one side so Kakei jumped in front him once more and grabbed the boy by the arms. "Rikuo! Wait, okay. Let Saiga finish and then we can go through it all again…maybe it wasn't her but a double. Let's get all the information first and then maybe we can figure out if that really was Tsukiko. All right?"
Kazahaya watched as Rikuo tried to calm down. He could see Rikuo trembling as Kakei held him in place. Rikuo's fists were white, he was clenching them so tight and when he finally raised his head, tears had gathered in his eyes. Then those eyes looked at him. Kazahaya froze. What was he supposed to do? Comfort Rikuo when he was just as upset? Should he offer comfort and if he did, what would he do with his own emotions?
"It'll be okay Rikuo. Let's do as Kakei said and learn everything Saiga knows. You'll get your answers soon. Real soon, I'm sure." Kazahaya spoke softly but he could tell Rikuo believed him or wanted to believe him. Apparently it was enough, those words from him because Rikuo nodded, wiped his eyes and sat back down.
Saiga nodded at Kazahaya, glad the boy was seemingly coming out of his shell to help Rikuo. He'd know this information would upset Rikuo but all he could do was tell it as he'd learned it. For all the information he'd gathered, it seemed they only made more questions.
"Actually there's not that much more to tell. Tsukiko did a lot of shopping and back at the hotel, they packaged all up for it to be shipped."
"Shipped? To where?" This time it was Kakei who asked the question. Saiga had been really tired last night so they hadn't talked about everything – this part was new.
"At first on board a cruise ship, the same ship a few days later that Tsukiko herself boarded. It was if she was going on a vacation but I learned that wasn't the final destination. At her last stop, Tsukiko boarded a yacht which, if the sailing plans are true, was headed for America."
"America?!" Rikuo and Kakei asked at the same time.
Saiga nodded and shrugged. "I couldn't find out who owned the yacht despite having the yacht's name and registration number. Nor could I find out if she was traveling alone or with someone. Of course, at any point along the way the boat could stop and pick up someone but no way for me to find that out either." Saiga surged to his feet this time. "I was sorta excited about all the stuff I found out even if we don't know if this woman is the real Tsukiko but telling you guys just makes me realize that we still know absolutely nothing! Dammit!"
All four men sat thinking quietly. Saiga had come back with a lot of details but as he said it all led nowhere. When she disappeared, Rikuo had returned home to a ransacked and bloody apartment. Why, if she was well, why was the apartment torn up? And the blood, was that some kind of threat or warning? If it was, was it for Rikuo or Tsukiko, because Rikuo was clueless as to what was going on.
More questions, all they had were more questions. Had she really sailed to America and how were they to find her if she had? And the biggest question was, if the person in Osaka hadn't been Tsukiko but a look-a-like sent to Osaka to leave a false trail, then where was the real Tsukiko?
With Saiga's return, things were supposed to get better. They should have been able to track Tsukiko, to confirm her whereabouts, possibly talk to her and find out once and for all what had happened. Information, yes they had some but how much of it was reliable? Could any of it be believed?
Finally Kakei spoke. "Looks like we still have a lot of work before us. Rikuo, we're here for you like always. We'll take these facts one at a time, tear them up and put them back together until we find out what's true and what's not. Okay? You've held on all this time and you're strong enough to do it a while longer, right?"
Rikuo had been sitting with his eyes closed but now he opened them. He gaze went from Kakei to Saiga. They'd been with him from the start and they were still willing to help – he knew he could count on them. Then he looked at Kazahaya. Kazahaya had once promised to help Rikuo find Tsukiko. Kazahaya was empathy personified and the eyes that stared back at him, shared his pain. Yes with these three men, Rikuo knew he could be strong.
Kazahaya silently gave Rikuo the answer he so obviously needed and he would be there to support him – for a time. He could only take so much of Rikuo's thinking about and loving this woman while he, Kazahaya sat back and was ignored. A bit more time, he too could be strong for a little while longer…