Penultimate chapter, guys. It's been a pleasure and after this there's only the epilogue to go. I was thinking about making it a longer story but I do like short but sweet stories too and I honestly didn't want to pad it out any.
As ever, thank you all so deeply for the feedback on the story as a whole the last chapter. It's been a pleasure to write and so good to know you all appreciate it. Also sorry for the slight cliffhanger on the last chapter, sometimes I can't quite resist being a bit evil.
Content Warning: mild homophobia, mild references to self harm/suicide, descriptions of character death. Nothing that hasn't already been explored in earlier chapters, though.
The next day was a pivotal one for both of them, really. Not that they knew it when the first light of morning woke Marcy and she discovered that Bubblegum hadn't left that night and was still curled up against her chest sound asleep. By the first pale light of day Marceline let herself really look at the redhead, examine all the lines and curves of her face like it was the first time she'd ever seen a girl close up.
Once she'd started looking after her hair again it had been tamed down from a wild mane into light blonde-red waves that fell past her shoulders, almost pinkish in the early morning light. Her face was smoothed out in sleep, there was no worry or tension around her eyes. She had a very pale scatter of freckles across her nose and cheekbones; Marcy ached to take her outside into the sunshine and see if the other girl shone as brilliantly as she suspected she would. And there were physical flaws there, of course. Everyone had flaws. But Marcy was struggling to decide what they even were. Bubblegum's nose was ever so slightly upturned, perhaps having a cute nose was a flaw? All of a sudden Marcy was overcome with the urge to lean in and kiss that nose tip and she couldn't think of a reason not to.
"Mm, whuh?"
"Good morning gorgeous. Happy birthday. You're sixteen and your mother isn't allowed to tell you want to do anymore." Marcy smiled back when her girlfriend's eyes opened.
"Oh. Thanks, this is the best birthday I ever had." Bubblegum replied with a sleepy smile.
"There's something a bit sad and a bit wonderful about that. The best birthday you ever had is in the crazy hospital with your crazy girlfriend. But I'm glad anyway." Marcy replied with a smile, leaning back into her pillows and just enjoying the feel of someone warm and wonderful against her skin. They stayed like that for a while, snuggling quietly and occasionally talking in low voices while the pale sunlight grew stronger outside the bars across their window.
"I didn't get you a birthday present." Marcy realised out loud after a while.
"You got me a book and loads of gum."
"But I didn't know it was gonna be your birthday, those were just presents because I like you. Wait, I have an idea."
Bubblegum watched her curiously while she got up and went across to the tiny writing desk bolted to the opposite wall. Simon hadn't been allowed to bring her guitar but once it was obvious to the medical staff that she was no longer suicidal Marceline had been permitted to use her art supplies, except for the small craft knife that was still at home. But that was fine, she just needed paper and her pens.
"This might take a while, you can read or something if you want." she told Bubblegum once she'd found a clean pad of creamy white drawing paper and her case of coloured pencils and fine liners.
"Ok." the quiet girl replied, already pulling the sign language book out of the bag still by Marceline's bed and turning to the first page. That was where the nurse found them a couple of hours later when she arrived with their breakfast and meds.
"Miss Sugar, your mother is outside. She wants to speak to you." the nurse told her anxiously.
"But visiting isn't for another four days." Marcy interrupted. Bubblegum was staring down at the book like she was still reading but her eyes weren't moving and where she was gripping the cover her knuckles were turning white with tension.
"She has concerns about her daughter and I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that, it's confidential." the nurse replied. Marceline scowled up at her.
"She's sixteen today, she's legally an adult now. She can make her own decisions."
"Bonnibel?" the nurse asked, turning to Bubblegum and dropping into an even gentler tone. "If you want me to send her away just nod, but she's right outside if you want to see her."
Perhaps Bubblegum might have been about to reply, she'd been working really hard on communicating with people again despite her anxiety. But before she could work up to getting the words out someone shoved the nurse out of the way and next second her mother was scowling at them from the doorway. Her eyes landed on Marceline and narrowed in dislike.
"You." she hissed angrily. "You little pervert, what have you done to my daughter? Get away from her, get out!"
Marcy may be clinically depressed and have problems with forming personal relationships but standing up to angry adults was something she'd been born to do, nobody except Simon had ever been able to make her do a damn thing she hadn't wanted to. Her teachers were most often on the receiving end of her sharp tongue but she had absolutely zero problems with using it on her girlfriend's horrible mother instead.
"Get out so you can yell at her some more and upset her and make her cry again, on her birthday? No. You can't order me around and you can't order her around either. In fact now she's sixteen Bubblegum doesn't have to listen to a word you say anymore. So you can get out, go on! Bitch."
"Her name is not 'Bubblegum' and I do not have to listen to some crazy little dyke! That girl is my daughter and I can guarantee that she doesn't want you here either! She doesn't want people around her, she doesn't want to talk to anyone and she absolutely does not want a relationship with anyone, especially not you! This place has done nothing for her, there's no point in her being here. Bonnibel, come on. We're going home, I'm discharging you."
"Mrs Sugar, please calm down-" the nurse started, but she was cut off by a quiet voice.
"No. I'm staying here with Marcy. You can leave now, Mum."
Bubblegum had stood up from the bed and was staring at her feet again, still red in the face from effort but speaking loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear her. Marcy slid close to her and Bubblegum immediately wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist, resting her head against Marcy's shoulder for comfort.
"Bonnie? What is this? What happened to you?" her mother asked quietly in a voice that shook a little.
"I'm getting better. I love her. And I want to do things at my pace, I want to use my gifts how I want to use them. If you want to be a doctor or a diplomat then you can go to Oxford University, but I want to make things. I might want to be an engineer or a sculptor, I don't know yet. I stopped talking because you yelled at me less when I was quiet and I didn't have to do so much extra work. I just wanted to be a normal kid, not a genius." Bubblegum replied quietly, voice muffled by her girlfriend's shoulder.
"I just wanted you to make the most of your talents!"
"And you made me really sick instead, I didn't want all that pressure. So please go away, I can't talk to you more right now."
"Bonnie, please." her mother begged.
"Nobody calls me that anymore. My name is Bubblegum. You can come for visiting if you want but I need you to leave now." Bubblegum replied calmly.
And something unexpected happened; her mother turned and left without another word. The nurse followed after a second, throwing an unreadable look at the two girls but holding her peace. And then the door closed and they were alone again. It took a few seconds for Marcy to realise that her girlfriend was crying quietly against her arm. Her shoulders were gently shaking with it and she was making little breathy gasps, trying to sob as quietly as possible as if that could make up for all the words that had finally forced their way out of her mouth.
"Hey, I'm super proud of you." Marcy murmured, stroking her girlfriend's hair comfortingly. "You were so brave."
"She's gonna hate me now." Bubblegum choked out around her sobs.
"No she won't. She's your Mum, she loves you. She just needs time for that love to dissolve the anger and then she'll be back and full of apologies. You just wait and see." Marcy soothed. "Hey, do you wanna see what I drew for you?"
"Ok."
She grabbed her drawing pad from the desk and pulled off the top sheet, presenting it solemnly to her girlfriend.
"I can't go out to buy you flowers so this is your present, it's a picture of the future." Marcy told her quietly.
"Oh! It's you and me! And you're giving me a bouquet! This is really good, you can draw really well." Bubblegum told her. She sniffed back the last of her tears and sank down onto the the end of the bed to examine the drawing more closely.
"I like drawing but I like music better. But this is you and me in exactly a year's time. We're out of hospital and I'm buying you birthday flowers. Your present this year is a promise for next year." Marcy replied a little shyly.
"It's the nicest promise I ever got, I love it. Thank you so much." Bubblegum told her. She leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, sadness about her mother forgotten for the moment.
...
The next afternoon was group therapy again and Marcy was determined this time; she was going to be brave. Bubblegum had been brave and faced her mother so now Marcy could be brave too, she wanted to prove she was brave enough to get better. Maybe she'd always be crazy but that was ok, Bubblegum had told her everyone was a little crazy. So when the therapist asked if anyone had anything they wanted to share with the group Marceline sucked in a deep breath, tightened her fingers around Bubblegum's hand and opened her mouth. She could tell Bubblegum and Simon, now she had to tell other people.
"My Mum crashed our truck and she died and I had to sit next to her body while the crows pecked her face off. I was only seven and I've been in care ever since and I didn't think I could ever love anyone because they might die too. That's why I kept trying to kill myself, because when she crashed the truck it broke my thigh bone and my ruby-heart got shattered. The thigh healed but the heart took a lot longer. It's not properly fixed yet but I think it's getting better. And I know now that love is the only thing that matters at the end of everything so even though I'm scared and it hurts I need to love people."
"That's messed up." Lydia announced. "Did she get thin when she rotted?"
"Lyds!" the therapist scolded her, but Marcy waved him off with a hand gesture.
"Yeah, a bit. But she looked really bad, gross and stuff. She went sorta blue-grey and then her stomach got all bloated up with rot gas. And there were maggots and stuff. I don't ever wanna see another dead body." Marcy added quietly.
"I don't wanna die." Lydia replied. "It sounds awful, like the opposite of being beautiful. I don't wanna go blue and have maggots and crows eat me."
"You gotta start eating right if you wanna stay alive." Finn piped up. "When Tiff got hit by the train he went sorta flat and stuff but they took him away before any crows could eat him. Do you think I'd have rotted if I died too?"
"Everyone rots. Even heroes." Bubblegum said quietly. Everyone turned to stare at her; it was the first time she'd opened her mouth in group therapy in the year she'd been at St Luke's.
"You can talk." Finn said in surprise.
"Yeah. I'm getting better, I'm trying to talk a bit. And Finn, you know there are all kinds of hero, right? Like, you can be the kind of hero who saves people from fires or talks depressed kids back to being healthy. Or the sort of hero who stops climate change or saves the tigers. Superheroes are just stories, they're like a metaphor for real heroes. So you can't be a superhero because they're just metaphors and superpowers are just how you use your brain in real life. But you could be a real hero, like you could really save people."
Finished, Bubblegum carefully signed to Marcy. It was their agreed signal that she'd spoken all she could stand for that day, but it looked like it had been more than enough. Finn was staring down at his hands with a thoughtful frown on his smooth face, like he was contemplating some very deep thoughts.
"I could be the sorta hero who really saves people in real life." he muttered after a minute. "I could be a police man or a fire man or a doctor or a politician. I could make a difference in the world."
"That's right, Finn. There's nothing magical about any of those professions. You just have to learn the skills they need and study and you can be anything you want." their therapist agreed. He smiled at Bubblegum and she smiled back, nodded but didn't say anything for the rest of group. Finally when they finished the therapist asked, "Does anyone have anything else they'd like to add?"
"I think Bubblgeum is magic." Finn nodded wisely. "She's the one who's really a hero. She's already making me better just by speaking. She shouldn't be scared to talk because when she does magical things happen."
"That's very kind of you, Finn. I'm sure Bonnibel appreciates that."
Bubblegum nodded again, smiling shyly down at the carpet and rubbing her thumb around the thin scars on Marcy's wrist like she often did. They had lunch after group and once everyone had eaten they had free time to socialize. Bubblegum was sitting on the floor with her face in her book and head resting against Marcy's knees while the taller girl braided her hair and thought about all the summer flowers she'd use to make flower crowns for midsummer when they were out of hospital. She'd made flower crowns and sung songs in the old language with her Mum to honour the sun, it was another old tradition that Marcy hadn't done in years. They had a big empty space on the roof of the building where her and Simon's apartment was, she was gonna ask the company that owned the building if she could start a roof garden there for city teens who were depressed to come and learn about nature. She could teach them the stuff her Mum had taught her before she died and maybe she'd ask Finn to come too so he could be a real hero and talk to other boys who had problems. And they'd grow flowers and have bees and make honey; she'd make elderflower cider and wear flower crowns on midsummer with Bubblegum and Simon and all their friends. Marcy resolved to draw a plan of what it would look like before lights out that night and she could ask Bubblegum what kinds of flowers she liked best once the redhead didn't have all her attention focussed on the sign language book. If they had a plan and it looked official and had adults like Simon involved they'd definitely be allowed to do it. A voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up, frowning by habit when she noticed who had slid into the chair next to her.
"Do you know how to do the waterfall braid?" Lydia asked, pointing at Bubblegum's head.
"No. I don't know what the waterfall braid is." Marcy replied neutrally. She decided to wait and see what Lydia wanted before she'd be too defensive.
"Duh, it's a braid that looks like a waterfall, only it looks more like a firefall when you do it with red hair. Hey, Phoebe! Come over here a minute, I wanna show these fags how to do the waterfall braid!"
"Don't call us fags, it's discrimination." Marcy scowled at her.
"What should I call you then? You are fags." Lydia shot back. Bubblegum didn't look up from her book but she murmured a quiet answer anyway.
"Just people. Girls. We're a gay couple but we're still people. Like, you have curly hair, right? But that isn't all you are. You're ill, you're straight and you're creative too. I've seen you draw boys and you make bracelets out of little wooden beads. And you're good with makeup and numbers. Not a single one of those things defines you completely, they're just some of the bits that make you. If you call us fags then you're just focussing on one bit of us and we're not things, we're people. Like if you make a house out of wood or brick it's still a house either way. Doesn't matter what it's built from."
Lydia stared at the back of her head and so did Phoebe who'd wandered over, although with the younger redhead it was hard to say because she always looked a little surprised.
"I liked her better when she didn't talk." Lydia finally said with a shake of her head. "Right, sit down Phoebe. I'm gonna teach these fa- girls how to do the waterfall braid like in our fashion magazine. Pay attention, Suicide Squad. I'm not gonna show you twice."
Marcy shrugged but she did pay attention; Lydia was right. It looked like a firefall, or a sunsetfall when the finished braid was cascading down Bubblegum's head. It wasn't as perfect as Lydia's braid but if she practiced Marcy was sure she could learn to do it just as well.
"Maybe you could be a beautician." she told Lydia when the skinny girl was done.
"Maybe." she shrugged. "Hey Suicide Squad? Why'd you wanna be gay? Seems a stupid thing to wanna be."
"I didn't choose it, I just got lucky." Marcy replied, still fiddling with Bubblegum's hair.
"Oh. So is it true that you get born that way?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"It's still gross."
"So is salad but you gotta eat that anyway." Marcy replied, thinking of Simon and his obsession with feeding her green stuff. "At least nobody is making you eat gay people. Just share a planet with them."
Lydia giggled and it was weird because it almost felt like they'd made friends. Even Phoebe smiled at them although she had a far-away look in her eyes that said she might be listening to voices the rest of them couldn't hear. There was probably nothing that even someone super smart like Bubblegum could do about the voices, they needed medication and stuff.
That night before they snuggled up together in Marcy's narrow bed she showed Bubblegum the roof garden plan and asked what kind of flowers she liked. The redhead was quiet for so long that Marcy thought maybe she wasn't gonna talk any more that day and was getting ready to put the drawings away.
"I like roses. And honeysuckle. I like the butterflies and bees that come to visit and all the birds. Maybe we could have nest boxes." she finally murmured. "I could make them out of wood and you could paint them and Simon could put them up high so the baby birds are safe from Gunther."
"That sounds really nice. I was always fascinated with gardens when I was a kid because we didn't have a garden but my Mum used to sing a song about gardens, about how they stay the same but change in little ways. I think it was supposed to be a metaphor for people, or life or something. I don't remember all the words but I remember the tune." Marcy replied a little sleepily, putting her drawing pad on the floor and slipping into the sheets next to Bubblegum.
"Can you hum it for me?" the redhead asked as she curled up with her head on Marceline's chest like she did every night. Marcy concentrated for a minute before she started humming gently, the same old tune she'd fallen asleep to when she'd been very young. Bubblegum giggled a little at the way Marcy's chest vibrated against her ear.
They fell into sleep together, Bubblegum dreaming about butterflies and bees and a forest they could wander through and do whatever they wanted together and Marcy dreaming about flower crowns and a little cottage together and the way the flowers would always come out in spring, year after year. She'd get Bubblegum a pretty dress to wear in the spring when the flowers came and she'd play her bass. Even when she was old and wrinkly they'd always have music and flowers together in their cottage by the lake.
...
A month more came and went and so did Bubblegum's mother for visiting, every single week. Marcy gave them space and let them talk together in low voices while she played chess with Simon and went through her plans for the roof garden with him. Sometimes her girlfriend told her afterwards what they'd spoken about and sometimes not; Marcy was just glad Bubblegum was talking to her mother again. She didn't need details, she was just glad to know that her girlfriend was getting better.
And then the day she'd been anticipating since she'd been admitted to the psychiatric hospital came. Marcy took a seat nervously across the desk from the consultant in charge of her care and Simon sat next to her, resting a hand carefully on her shoulder to let her know he was there and he was on her side.
"Well, Miss Abadeer, it'll be a shame to see you go. You're something of a local celebrity here. I've been hearing how you're reaching out to our other juvenile residents and trying to help them heal, we might have to advertise for a new staff member once you're discharged." the consultant smiled at her over her notes.
"Does that mean I'm getting discharged?" Marcy asked cautiously, heart feeling like it was sliding up in her chest to thump uncomfortably in the base of her throat.
"Well, do you feel better?" the consultant asked her.
"Yeah. Loads. I feel... it's stupid. But someone told me my heart was a shattered ruby since the car crash, and now it feels like it's healing. I don't think it's all the way better but I think it's as well as it has been since my Mum died. She was killed in the car crash." Marcy added by habit. She'd been trying to talk about the crash as much as possible since she'd opened up about it at group.
"And that's why we feel that you're ready to go home, Marceline. If you'd told me that you were completely better and you definitely didn't need any more help I'd know that you were just telling me what I want to hear. But you accept that you're still ill and still in recovery, so I'm confident you're going to continue to heal outside of hospital. At this point I think going home would be the best thing for you. Your father tells me you plan to start a charity project when you get home?"
"Marcy had me send the plans to our housing company, they've offered to give her a small amount of funding for plants and tools to begin a garden therapy project." Simon replied for her, almost bursting with pride.
"That is a truly excellent idea, I wish you the best of luck with it." the consultant said with a smile. He stood and offered his hand; Marcy shook it feeling awfully grown up. "Well, all that remains is for me to wish you well and hope I never see you again, at least not as a patient. Good luck, Marceline."
"Thanks. Um, bye." she replied a little awkwardly. Marcy had been daydreaming about being discharged for weeks and she was so happy to go home. But part of her was still horrified by the prospect; not just because putting all her plans in motion was scary and she had a whole year of school to resit and a charity garden to open. She hadn't really talked to Bubblegum about going home, she'd just told her the night before that her discharge meeting was happening the next day and the redhead had nodded and told her she already knew. Simon was smiling at her as they left the consultant's office together and he almost looked a little sly, it was the same face he wore when he thought he was being funny or subtle or something.
"What?" Marcy asked with a scowl as they walked.
"Nothing. Just glad you're coming home." Simon replied cheerfully. She narrowed her eyes at him but he didn't say anything else, just continued to smile like he knew something she didn't.
"You're annoying." she told him as they rounded the corner to the lounge.
"That must make you Annoying Junior then, darling." he said with a grin. Marcy rolled her eyes. Then she stopped dead and Simon's grin grew wide enough that she could have seen all of his teeth if she'd been looking at him, which she wasn't.
Bubblegum was standing in the lounge waiting for them with a pile of bags and Marcy's suitcase at her feet. She was holding the notepad Marcy had recorded all her plans for the garden in and smiling shyly at them both.
"That isn't my stuff. That's your bag with the cupcakes on. Why's your bag out in the lounge?" Marcy frowned, staring at her girlfriend.
"It's my stuff. I discharged myself. I'm coming home with you." Bubblegum replied quietly.
"But... your Mum. She's gonna go absolutely mental." Marcy said disbelievingly.
"She already knows, she's known for weeks." Simon told her, coming forwards and laying a hand on her shoulder. "We've been talking and she's happy for her daughter to come live with us for now, until the two of you feel ready to get a place of your own. So long as she can come visit. You'll be going to the local college together, you can resit your last year of school at the same time as you take your first year of college and we'll fix the garden together in the evening and on weekends. Does that sound good?"
"It sounds unbelievably good! You're the best!" Marcy squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
So they left the hospital together, Marceline and Bubblegum hand in hand and all three of them grinning from ear to ear. Simon carried the heavy bags and once they got outside into the summer sunshine he handed the car keys to Marcy and told them to go get themselves settled while he packed the bags in the back. Marcy took off at a run across the car park, feeling freer than she had in so long that it might even be the freest she'd ever been. Bubblegum was jogging alongside her and Marcy had been right, the redhead glowed in the sunlight.
"Come on, Dad!" Marcy yelled unthinkingly over her shoulder at where Simon was still puffing along behind them with their bags. It was only much later that Marceline realised that she'd been to happy to remember to call him by his name and she couldn't bring herself to be even a little sorry for it, she was too glad to finally be home with her father and her girlfriend.