AN: So this is kind of another "what if" fic, basically Ciel let the first-tier members live and periodically checks up on them, and this time he brings Elizabeth... Kudos to those who spot the Fruits Basket reference! Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Cute

"I don't know Ciel, circuses aren't very cute…"

"I can assure you Eliz- uh, Lizzie, that this circus is very… cute."

"Really? Well, if you're sure… I would love to go with you! You never invite me anywhere! It'll be just like a date! Oh Ciel you've made me so happy!"

"I'm- so glad," Ciel Phantomhive choked out, trying to dig his heels into the carpet. This didn't deter his fiancee, Elizabeth Midford, who despite appearing to be petite and delicate, had quite a strong grip. Ciel knew by the time she released him from her carousel-hug he'd be exceptionally dizzy.

When she did let the navy-haired boy go, he nearly crashed into his desk but was caught by his faithful butler, Sebastian Michaelis, while Lizzie twirled to the study door, "See you tonight Ciel~!" She skipped out, followed by her maid Paula.

Ciel kept a fake smile on his face until he was sure she was gone and then let it drop, placing a hand to his aching head. Spending time with Lizzie was always a trial. He made his way around the desk and sat in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment, though his right was obscured by an eyepatch and couldn't be seen.

"Young Master, forgive me for asking, but why have you invited Lady Elizabeth to see the Noah's Ark Circus? You loath the circus, especially that circus… Not to mention that you have told quite a white lie. Knowing My Lady's tastes, she won't find the circus cute at all."

Ciel smirked, accepting the tea cup his raven-haired butler held out, "I know. I told them when I let them live that I would be checking up on them… And just because I let them live doesn't mean they should get off scot-free. Don't you think spending a little time with Elizabeth and her infatuation with all things 'cute' and pink will be a worthy punishment?"

Sebastian chuckled, "Yes Young Master, I believe it will be a highly effective punishment. I know that Bardroy, Mey-Rin, and Finnie are certainly well-behaved whenever a visit is mentioned."

Ciel smiled behind his teacup as he took a sip of the Earl Grey, "Indeed. I can't wait to get them back for all the times they told me to 'smile.' Who'll need to smile now, I wonder?"

"Welcome Earl Phan'omhive."

"I haven't heard you say that since that night at Kelvin's manor. Nostalgic. No doubt you have been enjoying being away from London?" Ciel inquired of the orange-haired ringleader of Noah's Ark Circus. Joker stiffened at the mention of that fateful night but managed a smile, genuine and not as forced, "Aye the countryside has been nice. An' we can' thank ye enough fer 'elping fund us after we lost our benefactor."

"Hmm," Ciel handed his hat and cane to Sebastian and took a seat front and center. The rest of the big top tent was deserted, and Joker cleared his throat, "I wonder if ye'll be our only audience member." He chuckled, clearly thinking it impossible, until Ciel smiled tightly, "Oh, I believe I will be. That often happens when one buys out all the seats. We are waiting for one more, however."

"Bought out all the seats?" Joker echoed and Ciel raised an eyebrow, "Is that a problem?"

Joker shook his head and bowed quickly so the boy wouldn't see him raise his eyes to the heavens for strength, "Not at all. I only 'ope ye enjoy the show."

"Oh, I believe I will. I know I am early, you may carry on getting ready." Ciel dismissed him with a wave of his hand and the man left, uneasy at the boy's words.

Ciel watched him go with a smirk and Sebastian sighed, "You taunt them so mercilessly My Lord."

"People who kidnap children deserve more than taunting. And that is why I invited Lizzie. Stand outside won't you? And wait for her." The butler in black hesitated and Ciel only crossed his legs, "If I need you, you will only be feet from me. And they'll hardly try anything. They aren't that foolish."

Sebastian nodded and ducked back out of the big top to wait for the boy's perky blonde intended, while Ciel watched the last minute preparations for the show. At last Sebastian returned with Lizzie and Paula in tow and after crushing the life out of him in a hug, she sat beside him.

"The tent isn't very cute Ciel…"

"Yes well, don't worry. I'm sure it'll all turn out."

Ciel nodded to Joker who was approaching them, stopping in the center of the ring to begin the show for the four-person audience. He spread his arms wide, a grin on his face, and the lights dimmed, a single spotlight focused on the ringleader, "Ladies and Gen'lemen! Welcome to Noah's Ark Circus! I am pleased to introduce ye to our wonderful performers."

He stepped aside as his fellow first-tiers jogged to stand behind him and the spotlight fell on them for introductions.

"First we 'ave our fire breather, Jumbo!"

The large man held a torch in his hand and he blew fire straight up in demonstration. Joker waved to the two seated above them on a trapeze bar, "Our death-defying-duo: Peter and Wendy!"

The two stood, one hand on the wire holding the bar and the other holding the other's hand as they bowed.

"Our knife-thrower: Dagger! He never misses!"

The younger man tossed a knife at the target set up, the weapon imbedding itself in the wood. He turned and bowed and Joker motioned to the man beside him, "Our snake charmer, Snake!" The quiet man bowed, snakes poking from the seams of his cloak. Next, Joker raised his gaze to the trapeze, "Our circus princess: Doll!"

The girl dressed in white held out her umbrella for balance, sliding into a split on the wire and bending backwards to land on her feet. Joker clapped appreciatively because no one else did, and swept a hand to the center space behind him, where a ring had been lit on fire. Betty the tiger leapt throw it and gave a roar, lying at the feet of the beast tamer.

"An' last but not least! The star of our show! Beast!"

Ciel could tell they were all uncomfortable with such a small audience, even more unnerved because it was him, and Joker was worrying his lip with his elongated canine more than usual. Ciel wasn't interested in the nerves of the performers however, or even their acts. He was focused on Lizzie, inconspicuously of course, glancing at her from the side.

She was pouting, arms folded, lip trembling. She took a deep breath through her nose and Ciel held up a hand to Sebastian, counting down on his fingers. As he dropped his pointer finger, indicating zero, the girl stood up and her shrill voice echoed through the tent, halting all movement.

"Stop! Stop, stop stop! This isn't cute at all! The tent isn't cute, their costumes aren't cute, and their acts aren't cute! Ciel! You lied to me!" The girl burst into tears as the lights flooded back on, ending the show. Lizzie wiped her eyes as she cried and Ciel stayed in his seat, patiently addressing her claims, "Now Lizzie I only said I thought they would be cute enough for you, but you know I have very little idea of what is… cute. I'm terribly sorry for ruining the evening."

He didn't sound very sorry, and -Joker couldn't help but notice- he didn't look sorry either. In fact the boy was smiling, or perhaps it was more smirking, holding back what was clearly snickering. Lizzie continued to bawl her eyes out and Dagger cast a glance to their leader, "Um… What now?"

Joker shrugged, watching as Ciel finally stood and awkwardly pat Lizzie's shoulder, "There, there. It may not be cute enough now Lizzie but, you could certainly help. You're tremendous at it."

Joker was sure the boy was holding back laughter now, as the girl stopped crying, sniffling still, and raised her big green eyes to her fiance, "Really? You think I could help?"

"Oh absolutely," Ciel nodded and Lizzie dried her eyes, thinking it over. A grin split her face and she hugged Ciel so tightly he nearly lost his balance and his face turned blue, "Oh Ciel you're right! I can help!"

"Glad- to- hear it. Please- let go."

Lizzie released him, eyes sparkling, "Paula go to the carriage and get those things we bought for Ciel's servants! We'll have to buy them new things but this is a cute emergency!"

"I think they'll live," Ciel muttered. The brunette maid raced out of the tent as Lizzie hopped off the bleachers, babbling about cute, and Joker wondered what exactly was going on. Were they not performing? Perplexed, he looked to Ciel, who was staring at him triumphantly, a malicious grin on his face. Joker didn't like that look at all.

"Wha's 'appening?" Beast whispered and Joker shook his head, "I'm not sure… But it can' be good."

Lizzie, meanwhile, marched into the center of the ring where the eight -Doll, Peter, and Wendy having come down during the fuss- stood watching her and she clapped her hands, "Line up all of you so I can see you clearly!"

They did as she asked, more because she was a noble and they were beyond confused than anything else, and Lizzie sized them all up, humming to herself and tutting at some points or shaking her head with a tsk. "Oh dear, none of you are very cute, are you? That's not to say you aren't attractive but… Well, a skeleton hand isn't cute at all! And neither is fire breathing! No, no! I'll fix you, don't worry about a thing!"

She came up to Doll, taking the bewildered girl's hands, "You are absolutely the cutest thing here, I don't think there's a thing for me to do!"

"Thank you?" Doll managed to choke out, completely baffled. Lizzie squealed and Paula returned with a tower of boxes in her hands and Lizzie had her set them down in the ring, "Now, let's see. You first! I have just the thing for you!"

She pointed at Snake, poor Snake who was shy as it was, so shy he spoke through his snakes and not for himself, who flushed pink at the attention the girl was giving him. The blonde was rummaging through a box and came up with an armful of stuff -pink, flowery, frilly stuff- and skipped over to the silver-haired boy.

"You're Snake right?"

"Yes, says Emily."

"Oh goodie! Your hair is lovely but the rest of your outfit is just simply not cute! And neither are your snakes. But don't worry, I have just the thing!" Joker wasn't sure if there really was a tornado of pink surrounding Snake or if he simply didn't want to really know what was happening, but when it was over, their jaws dropped, and Dagger was snorting behind his hand.

Snake had been completely outfitted in an atrociously pink… well, there was no way around it. It was a dress. His snakes, still wrapped around his arms and neck, all wore bow ties, and some wore hats on their heads. To complete the look, Lizzie plopped a bonnet on the poor snake charmer's head, and beamed up at him, "There! Now you're cute as a button!"

….What was going on?

In a blur, Lizzie was accosting each of them, only Doll spared her frenzy for already being deemed cute. Wendy was also given an acceptable pass, but just a "few" flowers had been added to her hair and dress. Peter protested the entire time, and though Lizzie thought he looked decently cute, the man trapped in a boy's body was now outfitted with many, many ribbons.

"You're not cute, you're too mature, and mature isn't cute," Lizzie told Beast, and the busty beast tamer was shoved into a pink-and-red frilly gown with bell sleeves and a poofy skirt. Her hair was pulled high on her head and she was given a tiara, her cheeks red from embarrassment and the exorbitant amount of blush placed on her cheeks.

Nothing was large enough to fit Jumbo, so instead he was covered in glitter and ribbons, a curly wig on his head. It would have been hilarious, if the girl doing it to him wasn't so downright scary.

Dagger was next, and he tried to escape, but Lizzie chased him around the ring and tackled him to the ground, quite strong for someone so small, wrestling him into a maid's uniform outfitted with ribbons and bells, and cat ears plopped on his head.

He looked downright miserable, "I feel like a bloody idiot."

"Not to worry, you look like one too," Ciel informed him as he came to stand beside the only remaining survivor of the Cutemaggedon. The boy was grinning again, that grin full of mischief and Joker frowned, "I can' 'elp but feel you planned this."

"I said I wasn't putting you in jail, I didn't say you weren't going to suffer. Now, Joker… what was it you said to me? Something… Ah yes, smile!" The boy mock grinned and was then holding in chuckles while Sebastian hid his mirth behind his hand, and Joker glared.

"Alright! Your turn!" Blanching, Joker turned to Lizzie, managing a jerky bow, "Really, m'lady, I don' think I really need your… attention. I appreciate the gesture but-"

"What did I tell you?! Skeleton hands AREN'T CUTE!"

"Now you've done it," Dagger muttered dejectedly and Ciel only smiled, "May she have mercy on your soul."

Indeed, the girl looked absolutely, positively frightening, her eyes flashing and her grin replaced with a frown. She seemed to be surrounded by a cloud of anger and Joker swallowed, trying to grin, "What I was saying… Was tha' I would l-love yer input."

The anger vanished and Lizzie smiled as brightly as she had been before, prancing to the boxes and digging through them. Many terrible hats and clothes were tossed aside and Joker nearly breathed a sigh of relief until he saw what Lizzie had settled on. It wasn't pink, it wasn't frilly, and it wasn't even really girly in any way, but that didn't mean he wanted to wear it.

"This is perfect! You'll look like a perfect prince charming in this! Ciel refuses to wear anything like it and I thought Bardroy might like it… but it'll fit you perfectly!"

"I'll jus' go put it on-" Joker tried to say but Lizzie laughed, "Nonsense let me help!"

When it was all over and done with, he had to admit he drew the longest straw, because he wasn't glittery, frilly, pink, or girly in any way. He was, however, dressed in an outfit that made him look like a silly prince from a fairytale, with as many sparkles on it as could be counted legal. But it still wasn't as girly as Dagger's cat-maid outfit. His "non-cute" skeleton hand had been covered in a glove that while ill-fitting, did hide it. Lizzie had forced him to remove the clips from his hair and had plopped a crown on his head and he felt like an idiot, but the girl was so pleased, and none of them were going to tell her how they felt. Well, maybe Peter, but Jumbo kept his hand firmly on the boy's mouth.

"There! You're all adorable now! Don't you just love it? I wish there was more I could do to this tent but we didn't buy enough decorations. Next time perhaps!"

"Perhaps," Joker said weakly and Beast kicked him in the shin. It was then he remembered she too had a crown and he snickered, "Princess, I believe I'm yer prince."

Beast's face flushed and she scowled but Lizzie noticed the exchange and cheered, "Oh yes! She's the princess and you're the prince! It's so lovely, just like a fairytale! Oh Ciel, this was sooo much fun! We'll have to do it again- Hey! We should invite them to our wedding!"

"Well I wouldn't say we go that far-" Ciel protested but Lizzie interrupted, "Nonsense! They can be the entertainment! They are a circus after all!"

"But you didn't even see them perform," Ciel protested again, weaker this time. This wasn't going at all how he planned, and Joker was now grinning at him like a Cheshire Cat, "I didn' know you were engaged, Smile."

"How dare you call me that idiotic name-"

"Oh yes! Ciel and I have been engaged since we were children! Oh! You simply must come to the wedding it'll be sooo much fun! Ciel and I are so excited aren't we Ciel? Everything will be perfect and absolutely cute! I can't wait! I wish we could get married now, rather than wait until we turn eighteen, but I suppose that's alright!"

Ciel was scowling now and Joker was grinning wider, making the boy scowl harder, "Don't look at me like that you loon."

"Actually, as a prince I believe I outrank you," the ringleader shot back and Ciel glared at him, "You won't be laughing when I bring Lizzie back everytime I check up on you."

"I believe we'll get on fine now we know wha' the lady likes," Joker snickered and Ciel pouted, "I will hit you with this cane if you don't knock it off this instant."

"Awh, come on Smile, smile!"

Ciel took a large step away from him, still glowering, but then his expression became smug once more and Joker frowned slightly, unsure why the boy was suddenly in a better mood, what with his teasing and how irritated he seemed.

"Attention, Noah's Ark Circus, but I have a question to ask," Sebastian called their attention and they all turned to look at him, perplexed. He only smiled pleasantly,"It won't take but a moment, I only wondered what the last letter of the alphabet was?"

"Z," they said in unison and though it felt as though they only spoke for two seconds, it turned out to be ten, and Sebastian held up the camera he had ducked behind, "Thank you, this will look so nice on the wall."

"Do not play with me, I may be a child, but I am the Earl Phantomhive, the Queen's Guard Dog, for a reason. You don't earn and retain that position without being a decent strategist," Ciel informed him and Joker sighed, "A pleasure, as always, Lord Phantomhive."

"Indeed. Check mate. I look forward to the rematch."

The boy came to stand beside his butler, "It is time to go Lizzie, it's nearly time for tea."

"Oh alright, it was so nice meeting you all! I had a lovely time. Come along Paula!"

"Yes m'lady! Jingle jingle!" The maid shook the bells her mistress had given her and the four left the big top tent. Joker grinned, "Check mate indeed, Smile."

"Somebody get me out of this stupid monkey suit!" Dagger screeched and Doll giggled, "I's more of a cat suit idn't it Dagger?"

"Shut up! I hate that Earl!"

Joker shook his head, thoroughly amused, and held out his arm to Beast, "May I escort you to yer tent, princess?"

"Oh shut it," Beast snapped, but took his arm anyway, and they all gladly retired to their tents to change and clean up, knowing that if they ever saw Elizabeth Midford again, it would be too soon.