Chapter Two: Stories Told
We were into our fourth session of the first week, it was a Thursday; God I use to love Thursdays growing up, one more day till it was Friday and the weekend, but today wasn't a good Thursday. There was absolute silence in the room but I didn't mind, I wasn't in the talking mood, I had just finished reading a note from a student's parent and it had sunk my heart deep into my stomach. I sat staring into space lost in thought, until a faint voice called my name.
"Murray?" the voice repeated, I looked up and to my left in the direction the voice was coming from, to find Riley sitting on her chair facing me trying to get my attention.
"Ah, yes Miss Matthews?" I stuttered,
"Is everything alright?" She inquired, my eyes dart around at the others who were all looking at me, I drew my gaze back onto Riley. I had missed something so basic, of course they wouldn't open up to me; to them I'm a complete stranger.
"No actually, the ah other day, I failed a student and ah it, pushed him over the edge, and he committed suicide. His father sent me a note just um, telling me that he blames me." I explained with surprising difficulty,
"That's awful," Lucas insisted,
"How could he blame you?" Maya asked,
"Grief distorts one's mental state" I answered looking over at Maya.
"Have you ever lost someone?" Riley asked drawing my attention back to her, I sat in silence for a moment pondering "I hope this isn't all for nothing" I thought.
"Yes, when my parents divorced, my Mum got full custody, and a new job here in New York so we moved away. My Father drank himself into an early grave a couple of months after, while my Mum died of cancer about five years later." I explained and a saddened silence befell the room just before the school bell rang. "Alright, session over, you're dismissed, I will see you all on Monday." I concluded, they quietly stood up, picked up their bags and headed for the door.
"Aren't you coming Lucas?" Riley asked, I looked over at Lucas who remained in his seat looking down at the floor in them middle of the classroom before he turned his gaze upon Riley.
"No, I think if it's alright with Murray I'll stay behind, I have a story to tell" Lucas insisted then looked at me waiting for an answer. I smirked as I had finally achieved some results.
"Of course it is, please bring your chair to the front of my desk and share your story with me" I replied with a smile, Riley nodded and left the room while Farkle, Maya and Isaiah waited outside for her. Lucas stood up and carried his chair and bag to the front of my desk; dropping his bag on the ground and placing the chair a short distance from my desk before sitting down in it. "Right Mr. Friar when you're ready." I concluded.
That Friday afternoon I was seated in the first row of desks in Cory Matthew's history class. My feet rested up on the desk as I laid back in the chair and relaxed.
"So, how was your first week?" Cory asked, I chuckled
"Lacking in results" I answered,
"What, you didn't get anything from them?"
"No I got results, just not the percentage I was hoping to reach."
"Have any of them talked yet?"
"Only one, Lucas"
"Ah"
"His had a rough past couple of years I won't lie"
"Yeah"
"But I'm already starting to see things more clearly"
"Remind me, why it's so important for them to tell you what's been going on?"
"Well because than I get to see it from all of their point of views, gives me a better understanding of the situation and allows me to work better."
"I'm worried about them Murray, I remember what it's like to be their age."
"I know Cory, their tough kids; I'll get them through it"
"And how are you doing with the suicide?"
"Yeah well, I wish I could've seen the signs and helped him, but I didn't see them, and couldn't help him so, I just got to keep moving forward, focus on the kids I can help and keep teaching."
"Then what's the next step in helping those you can?"
"Well come Monday's session they'll see what I'm trying to do, hopefully that will get more of them to start talking." I stood up and walked to the door, "anyway I have marking to do. I'll hopefully have better results for you next Friday" I insisted before walking out the door.
"Murray!" Cory called out and I waked backwards into his classroom,
"Yes?"
"If you need to talk about the suicide, you know where too find me"
"Yeah I know, thanks." I concluded before again leaving the room. I called it a day and headed home to my apartment. I stood shirtless in the bathroom looking at my reflection, having just splashed my face with cold water, I watched as the droplets ran down my chest and stomach. One droplet ran over a scar across the middle of my six-pack that I got in a bar fight; it sent a cold shiver up my spine. I grabbed the hand towel and dried myself, leaving the bathroom I went for the liquor cabinet, pouring myself a five shots of vodka then mixing them together in a glass. I picked up the glass and walked into my kitchen getting three ice cubes from the freezer and dropping them into the glass, I closed the freeze and walked to the dinning table. I sat down at the head of the table and next to me were a pile of books, I pulled out a small diary with little slips of paper spouting out from the top of it with a different number on each piece of paper. I opened to page three and picked up a nearby pen and there on page three was a tally and I put a line diagonally through the four tallies already there,
"Five" I whispered saddened by what I felt were my failures, "sorry I couldn't have done more" I continued while taking a sip of vodka. The slight burning sensation as it went down my throat was almost soothing. I looked up and around at my apartment, finding myself thinking about Lucas and his story; 'he reminds me of me' I dauntingly realised. In silence I continued to ponder while slowly drinking the vodka I had in the glass.
The weekend came to a sudden and rather depressing end.
"Eh Mondays, why do you even exist?" I mumbled as I sat in the classroom waiting for them to arrive. 'I should've slept more, why didn't I sleep more, I have so many other things that needed to be done, why did I waste a entire Sunday binge watching Game of Thrones. I mean let's be honest who wouldn't? It's a great show; oh Hodor, you held that door buddy' I thought as I waited with tears welling in my eyes. Suddenly Lucas burst into the room followed by his friends and I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and fixed myself up to greet them.
"Hello Lucas, Miss Matthews, Miss Hart, Mr. Babineaux and Mr. Minkus" I greeted warmly, they all politely said hello as they passed me on their way to their chairs. I sat down in my seat and waited to see how long it would take them to notice the change,
"Hey, Lucas' chair is facing inwards" Farkle pointed out, 'of course he couldn't let that last could he?' I thought, "and you called him Lucas not Mr. Friar" Farkle continued.
"Well-done Mr. Minkus, you caught onto that fast, Lucas, would you be able to shed light on the changes?" I asked turning my gaze from Farkle onto Lucas.
"Of course Murray, before you can help us fix the problem, you have to see eye to eye with us, so that you may properly understand the situation. You also get to know us as individuals and as a group." Lucas explained, I clapped my hands a couple of times to applaud him,
"Well-done Lucas, you get an A'" I insisted, he smiled and nodded at me. I stood up and walked to the front of my desk and leaned on it, "so, who will be turning their chair around next?" I inquired. Farkle immediately stood up,
"I will be Murray!" Farkle proclaimed,
"Very well Mr. Minkus, please bring your chair to the front here and the rest of you are dismissed." I instructed before returning to my chair and watching them all quietly follow my instructions. Once only Farkle and I remained in the room I looked at him, "now Mr. Minkus start from the beginning and leave nothing out" I said as I sat back in my chair getting comfortable. Its safe to say I became proud of them, I know it mustn't have been easy, but one by one they stayed back and told me their stories. Next was Isaiah, followed by Maya who surprised me greatly as I was sure she would go last. Nonetheless she stayed back and told me her story, she; like the others admitted that what I had said the first day hurt because they knew it was true, with great difficulty I was able to keep myself strong while listening to Maya. The emotion in her tone and the tears welling up in her eyes didn't make listening easy but I did. That Thursday our final session for the week came and Riley sat on her chair in front of my desk smiling at me, but I've been doing this for too long.
"Why are you smiling Miss Matthews?" I asked,
"Because I'm happy" she answered,
"Why would you lie too me?"
"I didn't"
"I can tell a fake smile anywhere, but it was your eyes Miss Matthews, they tell a different story."
"I don't know what you're talking about"
"Riley, you don't have to be strong right now, not for me. Tell me your story but tell it truthfully, real facts, emotion and the emotions you're really feeling right now, will all help me to help you. The door is closed Riley, it's just you and I, so let it out" I explained to her, almost immediately her smile died, her eyes became glassy and red as tears filled them, I bit the gum below my lips on the inside of my mouth preparing myself. Riley wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her jumper, I rested my elbows on my desk joining my fingers and resting my chin on my thumbs for support and concealing my lips behind my fingers. It isn't the easiest thing sitting there, watching students lower their guard and emotionally breaking down in front of you. For once I hated being right, what I said about Riley was true and she admitted it, to see everything she has done for Maya and the life they've had. Even now as she sat before me how strong she tried to remain for Maya, it brought me to the verge of tears.
That Friday I again was in Cory's classroom, he sat at his desk while this time I wasn't able to be so relaxed.
"Everything alright?" Cory asked with clear concern in his tone,
"Yeah"
"It doesn't sound like it"
"Well they've all opened up to me"
"That's a good thing isn't it, why don't you seem more happy about it? It's progress."
"Thanks to Riley and Maya, I now have a means to show them all just how fractured their group has become, without simply standing there and telling them. I just feel bad for this next stage."
"Do you need me to be there?"
"No, I think they now feel safe in that environment, knowing it's just them and I. If I bring you in it might throw us back to square one,"
"Okay well, you know where I am."
"Thanks Cory, I know."
"I would wish you good luck, but I'm not sure I have the amount of luck you need."
"Ha-ha no Cory I think not. Opening their eyes and showing them just about bad things are isn't easy, but until Monday."
"Yes, for now go home, have a drink, get some rest and prepare yourself"
"Yeah mate, don't you worry, I will"
"You have any advice for me Murray, how to deal with what's to come?"
"Just be there for all of them, and make sure they know you are."
"Thanks. Until Monday."
"Until Monday."