Rachel's Story
Part 3
Beast Boy had slowly made his way into the common room. and once again he was overcome with vivid memories.
The video games he and Cyborg used to play, the large semi-circle couch where they all watched movies, and the kitchen where Starfire created oh so many odd things.
It was all so special for him. He missed hanging out with his friends. He missed seeing them every day. They all agreed they would keep in touch often but it hadn't happened that way. They all became too distant for his liking. But most of all he missed her.
"There never will be another one like you Rachel," he said to himself as he made his way over to the large stereo system. He had taken all of his CD's with him when he left, save for a few that Starfire had borrowed and a couple that he misplaced and were never seen again.
"I thought Cy was going to take this with him?" he said, eyeing the sound system. "Maybe he hasn't been here to collect his things yet."
Beast Boy looked it over, wishing he had something to listen too. The Tower was ghostly quiet. All that was heard was the distant rumble of thunder. It reminded him of that night they had all watched that movie. 'What was it again?' He tried to remember but it was lost to him. All he remembered was the far more interesting story of how Raven had lost her powers afterward.
He sighed and continued to walk toward his room. The sooner he got this done the sooner he could leave.
He didn't really know what he needed to get. He knew there was plenty left that he didn't take with him, but nothing he couldn't live without. Maybe a few of his favorite comic books or some old pictures Beast Boy had left there, but nothing too special.
He walked down the same familiar hallway that he did for all those years. He could remember all the times he and Raven would make their way to their rooms hand in hand and share a quick kiss before saying goodnight. Early on in their relationship they were so careful not to get caught.
As time went on they found they didn't need to hide their love from the rest of their friends. They all supported them and were happy that they were happy together. Even the wet blanket of the team, Robin, was happy for them.
And as time went on the goodnight kiss became longer and more passionate. Then they began to sneak into each others rooms for a few minutes, then hours, then they began to spend whole nights together.
It didn't even matter to Garfield if they made love or not. He was happy to simply be in the same room as her. They could be under the covers or they could simply sit there and meditate together. Her presence gave him a sense of euphoria like nothing else.
He walked up to the door of his old room and saw an envelope hanging there. He removed it and noticed the writing on the front.
'To friend Beast Boy'
"Starfire…"
He opened it and pulled out the note inside.
'Friend Beast Boy, I and boyfriend Roy were cleaning out my old room. I believe this once belonged to you. I am sorry my friend for not returning it at the specified time. I ask your forgiveness. Love you, friend Starfire.'
He once again reached into the envelope and pulled out a CD.
"God, I haven't listened to this album in years," he laughed. "I had forgotten I let her borrow it."
He crammed the CD case into one of the cargo pockets in his pants and opened his bedroom door. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was sitting on his bed. A large, white stuffed chicken.
It was last year, he was with Terra. She had finally remembered everything. She said it just hit her like a ton of bricks one day while she was sitting in class.
She had found him in a rather vulnerable time. He wasn't prepared to deal with any of it.
Terra had come back and in the midst of their fresh break up. Beast Boy and Raven were both in extreme pain but with Terra he found comfort and it helped him forget the sorrow. But it was not to last.
In his haste and excitement he had started a relationship with her long before he had processed and dealt with the loss of Raven.
"Would you please just leave me alone?" He asked her again, his agitation growing.
"Why?" Terra asked, standing in front of his recliner.
"I told you, I don't want to talk about it…"
"Well I do!" Terra said sternly.
Beast Boy got up from his chair and moved past her into the kitchen. He jerked open the refrigerator door angrily. He stuck his head for a second before emerging with a silver can in hand.
"We're out of beer," he said as he opened the final can and made his way back to the living room. "I'll have to go to the store tomorrow."
"You just bought a whole case two days ago," she said incredulously as she watched him walk past her and return to his seat.
"Yeah, and now I need to buy another one."
Terra stood there with an incredulous look on her face. "So that's it then? You're just going to sit there drinking and not talk to me?"
"About what?!" he asked sharply, turning his attention from the TV. "What could you possibly have to ask that is so important that you are willing to commit an entire evening of fighting to?"
He could see a small amount of hurt register on her face. She quickly regained her composure and asked once again. "Gar, what's wrong with you? You have been getting more and more distant. Why?"
"That's it? You were trying to ruin our night over that?"
"I'm not trying to ruin anyone's night. I just want to know why you're acting like this. I've never felt like someone was trying to avoid me in my own house." Her voice was shaky and meek.
Beast Boy sighed heavily and stood up, "I'm not doing this with you tonight. I'm going out for a flight." He turned and made his way to the back door turning up the beer can and gulping the last few drops. As he made his way to the center of the back yard and prepared to take flight his path was blocked by a sudden eruption of earth and stone.
Beast Boy turned to find Terra standing at the back door. "Yeah, that's real nice Terra. I'm sure the neighbors won't notice a damn mountain springing up in our back yard!"
"You were about to turn into a bird and fly away. How would that look to said neighbors? You're still wearing your holo-ring by the way, dumbass."
Beast Boy looked down at his hand with a sigh. 'She's right.'
"What is this? What have I done? Why do you hate me?"she asked, fighting back tears.
He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you just asked that. Are you still eight years old?"
"Well yeah I guess I am! Answer the question!"
"If you don't know I'm not going to spell it out for you."
"Of course. Avoid the question. Just like you always do!" she screamed at him.
"I'm not avoiding anything."
"Yes you are! Talk to me! You used to all the time. I was alone for so long and the only person who ever listened to me, really listened to me was you. Even with all that happened with Slade, you were still there for me. And now...now all you do is try and run away from me," she said as tears crept down her cheeks.
He stood there, expressionless. He didn't speak a word.
"I do everything for you. Anything that makes you happy I do. What have I not done? Where did I go wrong? Was it something in bed? Am I not making you happy when we are together?" She was scrambling for answers, noticeably desperate to find the answer and fix their problems.
"Terra, stop," his voice growing gentler.
"It was the sex wasn't it?! I can do better, I can make you happy," she said frantic. She quickly wiped away the tears from under her eyes and did her best to put on an alluring smile. "I went to the mall the other day. I bought something for you. I could go put it on and we could have some fun." She said as she motioned her head towards the back door. "C'mon."
Beast Boy got a mildly disgusted look on his face. "No," he said flatly. "You know some women have more respect for themselves. She wouldn't just use sex to get me to pay attention to her!" He spat. The second he said those words he knew he shouldn't have.
"What?" a noticeable amount of pain in her voice. "She who?"
"Look Terra I didn't mean it like that. I just meant to say that sex isn't going to help this. At all."
"She…this is about Rachel, isn't it?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Beast Boy said once again.
"All this is because you are still stuck on her?"
"You don't understand."
"No, I don't. Opportunities come and go. Stop worrying about the past ones and look at the one standing right in front of you!"
Beast Boy's anger spiked. "Ok, time you changed the subject! I don't need to listen to how you want to replace her!"
Terra looked as though he had just shot her in the heart. "I'm not trying to replace Raven."
"Don't say that name! It's Rachel. You have no right to use her real name!" he seethed with rage as he clenched his fists. All the pent up anger, hurt and loss he had been hiding away for months came spilling out. "You are the last person that should have anything to say! You almost killed her once, and now you are trying to steal something that rightfully belongs to her!"
"Gar I…I am not that person anymore. I don't want to hurt her, and I'm not trying to steal you from her. You were happy and in love with her. I would never try and make you forget her or try to replace her."
"Lies!"
"I'm not lying," she sobbed, making no effort to hide her tears anymore. "I only want you happy. Please."
"That's right. Go ahead and cry. Just like you always do!" He screamed.
"Gar, I am not going to magically turn into Rachel. I'm not her!" She wept.
"You're damn right you're not! That's your biggest fuckn' problem," He barked at her as he removed his holo-ring and morphed into his beast form and began to lunge at her with his claws. He stopped just a few inches from her when he noticed the four large spikes of earth and stone aimed and ready to impale him. Her eyes were wide with terror as she trembled to the core.
He slowly morphed back into his human form, complete with his natural green color this time. "You know what Terra fuck this and fuck you!" He said as he pointed a finger accusingly at her. "This is all your fault! I'm leaving." Quickly he morphed into a raven and flew away. He could hear her break down and sob uncontrollably as he left.
He walked over to his bed and picked up the large chicken. It was a prize from a carnival game he had won years ago. He, Cyborg and Raven were waiting for Robin and Starfire to finish their ride when he saw the ring toss game.
He and Cyborg had begun a game to pass the time. And Raven, lacking a book to read or any other enjoyable activity, joined them, though she left the game playing to the boys.
"You never did like playing games with Cy and me, did you?" he asked as walked over to his bed and picked up the large stuffed animal. "You always stayed to watch though."
"Don't worry Rae, I'll win you a prize," he said to her cheerily. He was met with an eye roll.
After a few tries, he and Cyborg emerged victorious. "Told ya we would win ya a prize," Beast Boy said proudly as he handed it to her.
"A giant chicken…I must be the luckiest girl in the world," Raven said in a sarcastic monotone.
He now looked at that same simple gesture in a new light. "You threw this down as soon as we had to go after Star. You never did tell me why you went back to get it."
He placed the chicken back on his bed and got to work. He made his way around his old room slowly. Taking every sight and smell in. So many memories flooded his thoughts. He missed everything about his life as a Titan. He dreaded coming back to his old room: he knew that all the memories would be so painful. But now, as he stood in his old quarters, he felt a sense of happiness and nostalgia.
"Why did it take me so long to do this?" he asked himself. "I had all my friends here with me. Got to see them all the time. I got to be close to them." He smiled as he remembered all of the good times he had in the tower. But his good mood quickly began to fade. "I was close to her. Was close to her…"
He decided not to be pulled back into one of those moods again. They had dominated his idle time for months now. Thoughts of her. Thoughts of how happy he and Raven once were. How when they were all alone she would always be there with him. Always close, always by his side. How they would never be apart.
"God I am such a fool."
He moved with determination. Gathering up a small assortment of pictures and other various things he thought he would like to hang on to. Not stopping to think or dwell on anything, for fear of being sucked back into that horrible melancholy.
Finally, after grabbing one of the old boxes he used to store his comics in, he was finished. In the box were an assortment of photographs, books, toys and a small collection of comics and video games. "The rest can be buried in the rubble," he said flatly as he made his way to the bedroom door.
He stopped as it slid open. He turned back to look at his old room once more. The chicken still sat there staring at him. It pulled at him. Beckoned to him. He couldn't just leave it there, he finally decided.
"You don't belong in here," he spoke to the lifeless toy sitting on his old bed. "I'll take you back to her room."
He once again picked up the chicken in his arms, having some difficulty at first juggling it and the large box of belongings he was carrying. After finally managing to get one under each arm he made his way out of his room one last time. He walked down to visit Raven's room for the first time in many years.