Costume

Good God… I can hardly contain myself. I grinned as I stared down at the limp form of my arch nemesis below me. Eh heh heh. Think you can out-smart me? I knelt down beside the fallen one and began to caress his unmoving leg. Think you can try to out-smart me and get away with it? Oh, gee… I'm sorry, asshole, but it looks like you thought wrong. Try to think you're smarter than me and you'll find yourself on the wrong side of my anger. My hand slowly traveled up the deceased's leg until it reached the belt and the button holding the pants to his body. Yes… I have an idea… One that will RAPE him of his body and soul. I chuckled softly to myself. Oh, my god… This will be beautiful.

"Wuh-well, here we are. Behind the tornado slide. Buh-but, gee whiz, there's nothin' here."

"Heh. I just wanted to show ya something, dude."

"Wuh-wait! What are ya doin'?!"

"I just want to teach ya a lesson, Butters!"

"No! Luh-let go of me!"

"Hold still, you fuckin' faggot!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

I shook my head to clear the voices from earlier today from my mind and then bared my teeth in a grin as I stared down at the neatly preserved body on the ground before me. The victim's pants, shoes, and underwear had been removed and neatly piled nearby. It was amazing how easy I was able to take him down. So FUCKING amazing. One single blow to the head and then…TIMBEEERRR… I laughed maniacally out loud for a few moments before I stopped to listen to myself. This isn't me. I shouldn't be this evil; this dastardly. But you know what? I don't give a flying fuck. A change is always a nice breath of fresh air, whether it is good or bad. But then again, good and bad are simply black and white points of view. Heh. Well, I happen to like my point of view. I slowly slid my hand up the still body's stomach and undid all the buttons on his coat as I made my way to his neck. This is the greatest fucking idea! God, I can barely contain myself so much that I want to rip his clothes off. But if I do that-

"Hey. Have you guys heard?"

"Heard what?"

"They found Butters unconscious and bleeding behind the tornado slide…"

"Jesus Christ, dude…"

"Yeah. I know. They said that when he woke up, dazed out of his mind, he kept screaming that he wasn't gay and that things shouldn't go there."

"What the hell…?"

"You know what the scary thing is…?"

"What?"

"Among his screams was a single name."

"Who…?"

"Cartman…"

"WHAT?!"

Hee. My eyes widened in glee as I stared at the now fully nude body before me. Good god… It was a horrible sight, but as much as I wanted to throw up I had to keep my mind clear. He'll pay… Oh, yes he'll pay… This won't even scratch the surface in making him pay for being a god damn fuckwad. It, however, is all that I can do. That fucker pushed me too far and now his punishment must be carried out. I laughed maniacally again as I reached for the Ginsu knife lying on a nearby chair. It slices. It dices! It can still cut open bare skin after chopping up a PVC pipe! I carefully pressed the sharp edge over the center of the chest and slowly pressed down. The farther down the knife went into the skin, the faster the semi-warm red blood spilled out of the incision. My grin became wider as my hand guided the knife towards the southern tip of the torso.

"Oh, look! It's the Jew!"

"Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"What the hell're you talkin' about?"

"Butters, dude! What the hell possessed you to do what you did to him?!"

"Very simple, dumb ass! A little faggot like him needed to be taught a lesson."

"A lesson?! Dude! What the hell did he do that was so wrong?"

"It's not a question of what he did, it's a simple matter of his existence buggin' the fuck outta me. And for the record, I do believe this is my greatest achievement."

"Greatest achievement?! You raped him with a knife! HOW THE FUCK IS THAT YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?!"

"… How do you know about that? Nobody knows about that… Not even that stupid ass melvin saw the knife."

"I saw what you did, Cartman… I saw everything…"

"You know what this means, don't you, Jew?"

"Yeah. It means you've gone completely fucking insane, fat ass!"

"Ehhhnt! Wrong! It means it's time for you to die!"

"It doesn't matter, lard ass! I've already told Principal Victoria and she called the police!"

"YOU WHAT?!"

As I walked to the bus stop, I straightened my green hat and grinned to myself. "Hey, dudes!" I exclaimed rather roughly. "What's up?"

Stan's eyes went wide for a moment before he rubbed them vigorously. "Dude! Where the hell have you been? You've been gone for over a week!" His hands dropped from his face, allowing him to stare at me in shock. "And what the hell happened to you, dude? You look like crap."

When Kenny raised an eyebrow, I put my hands behind my back and nervously shifted weight between my legs. "I, uh… I've been under some stress lately. My mom made me stay home and wouldn't let me out." I grinned again and clapped my hands together gleefully. "But that doesn't matter!" I beamed as happily as I could. "What does matter is that I'm back!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Stan raise an eyebrow and stare at me. "Dude! I can't wait to see what the great fairy-er, Mr. Garrison assigned in terms of homework while I was gone."

Kenny and Stan remained quiet and stared at me until the bus pulled up. They rushed on as soon as the doors opened. I, however, followed much more slowly.

I stood before the mirror completely naked. Now… Now was the time to see if my plan would work. First, I grabbed the long sleeved shirt I had made from his chest, slipped it over my head, nestled it over my chest, inserted my arms, and wiggled my fingers until they fit into the glove-like hands. Granted it wasn't a perfect fit, but whatever. I can make do. Next, I took a hold of the pants I made… Hah ha! The Jew has a tiny penis!

Once inside the bus, I looked around to see what was on everyone's faces. Besides Stan and Kenny, Wendy seemed to be the only one looking at me. Nobody else seemed to notice that something may have been awry. Before I walked to the rear of the bus, I looked up at the mirror above the windshield and grinned. As I stared at "Kyle's" grinning reflection, I realized something. Despite the costume's obvious imperfections, it still fooled everyone. Well, almost everyone, but I can work at them if I have to.

I sat down in the seat opposite the aisle of Stan and stared at "my" reflection in the window. As far as everyone is concerned, Eric Cartman committed suicide after I, "The Great Jew Kyle Broflovski", showed "him" how wrong he was. Funny how everyone, including the cops, bought that little lie. Those dumb asses left me free to do whatever the hell I want and with the ability to get away with it. And as long as I have my new skin and face, my costume, no one will ever think twice about it. Now this...is my greatest achievement. What do ya think of that…Kyle?

[FIN]