In celebration of well, nothing, I give to you, free of charge, two chapters in two days!

Oh please, if I owned it, I wouldn't have to write this now would I?

This chapter takes place three months after the last chapter. Kelso's mom is being played by Jaclyn Smith. His dad is being played by the same actor who played him in career day. Keith Kelso is played by Adam Brody.

Be My Girl-Sally.

1 hour after the wedding.

They should have known better. Or more specifically, Jackie and Brooke should have known better. The group sat in Hyde's basement, the guys were still in their tuxes with their ties loose. The girls sat in their dresses, including Brooke. Everyone had their shoes off. A party is going on upstairs.

"Well, that was…" Eric trailed off, not knowing what to say. No one tried to fill in the blank for him.

"We really should have seen that coming." Hyde pointed out. He was looking at Jackie when he said it.

"You're blaming me?" She gasped. "It was totally his fault!" She pointed to Kelso who looked at her indignantly.

"Was not!" he shouted.

"Was too!" She shouted back.

Donna yelled at both of them to shut up.

Eric looked at the door. "Do you think it would be alright if we leave?"

Fez sighed. "I don't think we're going to be leaving for a very long time."

The others nodded sadly.

One Day before the wedding.

"You know what girls?" Laurie came up to the other girls while they were in the basement. "I've been thinking."

Donna leaned toward Jackie. "She can do that?"

Jackie laughed.

"Whatever." Laurie scathed. "The guys are out there right now, having a bachelor party right? With strippers and beer, well I say we say screw them and go have ourselves a party of our own!"

"But we are having a party." Brooke said. "We're uh…" She looked at the junk food sitting on the coffee table. "Wow, we're pathetic."

The girls nodded. "You know what, I never thought I'd say this, but Laurie is right." Jackie said.

"Exactly!" Laurie cheered. "So let's go girls!"

They all stood up. "Yeah, let's go!" The girls all grabbed their coats and made their way to leave.

"Hey, let's invite Mrs. Forman and Joanne." Donna said, grinning at Jackie.

"Now, I can't promise Casey Kelso will be there, Mrs. Forman, but I can promise you that there will be alcohol and other fine, muscled men, dancing for your pleasure." Donna told Kitty in her kitchen.

"Oh, Donna." Kitty said, setting down her rag. "You had me at 'we're going to a strip club!'" She laughed. "Just let me grab my coat!"

"Steven, this is your record store." Red stated.

Hyde nodded. "Yeah, well, it turns out that we're no longer allowed back at the place in Kenosha." He glared at Fez.

"How was I supposed to know they had a no touch policy?" Fez shrugged.

Red shook his head. "My little girl chose you."

Bob laughed. "Now you know how I feel about my little girl being with your degenerate son."

Eric looked at his dad. "Dad, this is the part where you say 'My son is not a degenerate!"

"But that would by lying." Red said.

Eric threw up his hands. "Oh never mind." He went to join Hyde and Kelso.

"Seriously dude, what are we doing here?"

Hyde grinned. "Hey, we have beer, music, food, and in an hour, Kelso will have some girl dancing to Molly Hatchet for him."

"Listen to the man." Fez told him, clasping Eric on the shoulder. "Hyde speaks the truth my scrawny friend."

Hyde tossed him a beer. "Now come on Forman, drink yourself pretty."

Eric laughed and gave in. "To Kelso!"

"To Kelso!" They all cheered.

The girls were sitting in a male strip club waiting impatiently on the waiter to bring her a kamikaze.

"Where did he go?" Brooke asked, looking around.

Jackie waved her off. "Brooke, pay attention to the naked man in front of you."

"Yes, Brooke, listen to Jackie, she knows what she's talking about." Kitty said.

"That's right. I do." "Like for example, I know that I really like the one in the biker uniform. Take off bad boy!" She shouted at the stage and then looked down at her empty pretzel bowl.

"Waiter! I need more pretzels!" She shouted.

Donna sighed. "I don't think he's coming back."

"Oh come on, Fez's could do that blind folded." Laurie dismissed the male dancer.

Donna put her arm around Jackie. "Kind of makes your regret not getting with him doesn't it?"

Jackie laughed and looked at her growing belly.

"On second thought, never mind." Donna laughed with her.

The men sat inside Grooves, beer cans were scattered in front of them.

"I feel really sorry for the poor bastard who owns this place." Hyde laughed.

The song Sweet Caroline played in the background. Leo put his arm around Fez and the two started to sing. "Hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you! Sweet Caroline. Bum Bum Bum, good times never seemed so good!"

The knock on the door broke the tension. Fez jumped up. "I'll get it."

"I'm the stripper." The girl said, walking in.

Kelso looked at the girl. "Huh."

"So who is the lucky man?" The stripper was small, brunette and bore a stunning resemblance to Jackie.

All the guys pointed to Kelso. "That would be me."

"Do you have some music I can dance to?"

Hyde stood up. "Uh, yeah, what do you want?"

"Do you have any ABBA?" The girl asked.

All the guys stared at the stripper.

"So, what's your name?" Fez asked her.

"Danielle, after my father."

Hyde turned to Eric and Kelso. "I don't know about you, but I'm kind of creeped out."

Red stood up. "Here's a hundred dollars, you should take off."

Jackie's stripper doppelganger shrugged and walked out.

The men collapsed on the couch. "I never thought I would live to see the day where a stripper made me want to puke, but there you go." Kelso said, bewildered.

"I bet wherever Steven is, they have pretzels!" Jackie and the girls had yet to see their waiter.

Donna laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't dragged us out of here yet so we can go crash the guy's party."

All the women looked at each other.

"Forget the drinks, let's go." They all got up and left.

Half an hour later, they were walking inside Grooves where the guys were playing poker.

Eric looked up. "Oh hey, pull up a seat."

Laurie looked around. "This place is dead."

"So, did you guys have a good time?" Eric asked Donna as she sat next to him.

"Well, let's see here, our waiter took our drink order and then promptly disappeared and Jackie ran out of pretzels. Oh also, we learned that Jackie has a thing for bikers." She smirked at Jackie who was sitting on Hyde's lap.

Hyde looked at her. "You do?"

She shook her head adamantly. "No. I have a thing for bad boys and since you weren't available, I had to make due."

"Aww." Hyde said, kissing her.

"Watch it you two." Eric warned.

Jackie and Hyde broke away.

Red and Kitty shared a look. "We're going to go and leave you kids." Kitty told them.

"Come on Bob." Red commanded his neighbor. Bob and Joanne followed Red and Kitty to the door. Red turned around.

"If I get any calls saying you've been arrested, I'm not bailing you out." Red told them.

The gang looked at each other.

"Steven?"

"Yeah, Jackie?"

"Do you have any pretzels?"

The day of Brooke Bell and Michael Kelso's wedding.

Kelso woke up on the couch in Fez and Laurie's apartment with a pounding headache and a serious case of cotton mouth. He rolled over and looked at the time on his watch as soon as the numbers stopped blurring and he was able to read the clock.

He immediately shot up. "Oh my god, it's already 9:30!" He shouted. He ran into Laurie and Fez's bedroom. "Get up!" He shook Fez.

"Come on, the wedding is in three hours!"

"Maybe if we ignore him he'll go away." Laurie whispered to Fez.

Fez just grunted and turned over.

"You guys, this is no time to sleep in, and I've got to uh…" He trailed off. "What do I have to do again?"

Laurie finally looked up. "Kelso, all you have to do is put on a tux and say 'I do' trust me, you have plenty of time."

"Oh." Kelso said, looking down.

"I, on the other hand." Laurie said, getting up,and taking the sheets with her, "have to be at Jackie and Hyde's in about an hour."

Kelso wasn't listening though. "Can you please cover your husband up? His bare ass is making me uncomfortable."

Laurie laughed and covered Fez with a pillow. "There." She nudged Kelso out of the room. "Go make sure Donna is awake, we're riding together." She shut the door on him.

"Do you wish we had a big wedding?" Eric asked Donna in their kitchen.

"Are you kidding?" Donna responded. "After watching Brooke and Jackie go nuts over planning theirs, I'm super glad we eloped instead."

Eric laughed and kissed his wife on her head. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed?"

Donna looked at the clock. "Eric, Laurie isn't going to be here for another half an hour."

"Uh, but I thought you and her said to meet here at ten."

"I said ten so that she'll be here at ten thirty, ever since her and Fez got back together both of them have been perpetually late." She shuddered, knowing exactly what they've been doing.

"Higher!" Jackie commanded the poor florist. She turned to Brooke's mother. "I swear, if I wasn't five months pregnant I would do it myself."

Carolyn pursed her lips. "Everything looks beautiful Jackie." "You did a magnificent job."

Jackie beamed. "Thanks." "Oh, the baby just kicked!"

Carolyn put her hand on Jackie's belly. "Oh, I remember when I was pregnant with Brooke. She moved around a lot." The two women smiled at each other as Hyde walked in.

"Jackie, of all the things I could do today, why did you put me in charge of Kelso's relatives?"

"Because I don't know half of them."

"Jackie, you dated Kelso for three years, you know them a lot better than I do." A dark haired woman walked into the chapel, nodding appreciatively as she got closer to the three.

"This is beautiful." Kelso's mom said.

Carolyn Bell stood up. "You must be Kate; I'm Brooke's mom, Carolyn."

Kate smiled. "Oh, it's so good to meet you! I must introduce you to my family."

"Derrick, kids, come!" She yelled.

"So, how many children do you have?" Carolyn asked.

"Six, but it feels like more." Mr. Kelso and the three youngest Kelso's walked in behind. The tallest of the bunch was giving the smallest a piggy back ride. Once she saw Jackie she threw her hands out. "Aunt aykie!"

The boy put Gabrielle down and she ran straight towards Jackie, who picked the girl up. "Hi Gibby!"

"Gibby?" Hyde asked.

"She can't say Gabby, so we all just call her Gibby." Kelso's dad told him.

Hyde leaned towards Jackie as the in laws began to talk. "Who are they?"

Jackie, still holding little Gibby, looked over. "Well, the tall one is Brett, I think he's about sixteen. And the one who looks like she'd rather be anywhere else but here is Callie."

Callie scowled.

"You'd like her."

There was a beat and Jackie laughed.

"Let me look at you girls." Kitty said as she walked into the girl's dressing room. "Oh, you girls look beautiful."

Jackie, Donna and Laurie were all in their lilac colored bridesmaid's dresses. Jackie's had been let out slightly for her growing belly. Brooke was still in her slip.

"Brooke, aren't you going to put your dress on?" Carolyn asked.

"I'm waiting so that I don't get anything on it." Brooke answered.

The knock on the door interrupted them. "What is it?" Kitty asked through the door.

"Is Jackie there?" Fez asked through the door.

"What is it Fez?" Jackie yelled.

"We have a code four."

Jackie sighed and opened the door.

"What's code four?" Carolyn asked.

"Jackie made up different codes for us to remember incase anything happened." Donna told her. "Code four is for when there's an issue with the cake."

"My cake better be okay." Brooke frowned.

"You know, I thought that you and Kelso were wrong for each other, given that you're smart and he's well, dumb, but I take that back now, you two are perfect together." Laurie told her.

Brooke laughed but stopped when she heard yelling.

"For such a tiny thing, that girl has some serious lungs." Kitty laughed.

A moment later Fez ran into the room. "The cake is okay!"

Same time:

Eric, Hyde, and the three older Kelso brothers sat in a circle in the church basement. All three were in their tuxes.

"I can't believe Donna finally married you." Casey Kelso shook his head.

Eric glared at him. "That's right."

Hyde laughed. "Yep, she's Mrs. Pincipotti Foreplay." Eric leaned over and frogged Hyde on the arm.

Keith, on the other hand, was paying attention to his younger brother. "You okay, bro?"

Kelso nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." He looked around. "Where's Fez?"

"He's with Jackie." Hyde told them.

"I don't care if you have to drive to Canada to get it, but that cake better look like the picture or else!"

The guys all raised their eyebrows.

"Speaking of the devil." Eric laughed.

"What was that?" Keith asked.

"That, my slightly less handsome than me, brother, was the infamous Jackie Burkhart."

"That the one you dated in high school?"

Kelso nodded. "She's with Hyde now."

Hyde smiled.

"She's uh, loud." Keith smiled nervously.

The three guys waved their hands dismissively.

"Pfft." Eric said. "This is nothing." He laughed. "God, she's going to be so much worse at your wedding."

Hyde nodded. "No she's not. Donna made me a promise that she'll lock Jackie in the dressing room until it's time to seal the deal."

Five minutes until the wedding.

Fez, followed by Pastor Dave came down into the basement.

"It's time." Pastor Dave smiled at Kelso.

Seeing Kelso's nervousness, Eric put his arm around him. "It's easy man, all you have to do is go up there and say I do"

Kelso shook his head. "Nah man, I can do that, it's just, what the hell is she thinking?"

The other guys just stare at Kelso as he continues. "Seriously, she's smart and hot and way too good for me." "She can do better."

"We're not going to disagree." Hyde said. "But Brooke doesn't want better, she wants you."

"You better take it while you can still get it." Casey advised.

"Okay fine." Kelso looked around again. "Let's get married."

Outside the chapel doors, the bridal party was waiting in line. Donna and Eric were standing together, Fez and Jackie were together and Hyde and Laurie were standing next to each other, both are glaring. Betsy is in her flower girl dress.

"I don't get why I can't walk down with Jackie." Hyde said.

"Because it's customary for the best man and the maid of honor to walk down together." Jackie told him.

"Now, does everyone remember what to do?" Pastor Dave asked.

"Walk, try not to fall, listen to boring speeches, eat cake." Eric said, earning him a nudge from Donna.

"Shut up dillhole."

"Right, so uh, where is the bride?"

Jackie looked around. "Oh god, we have a code eight!" She let go of Fez's arm and ran off.

"I better go with her." Donna said, following after Jackie.

The guys all looked at Laurie.

"What?" She asked.

"Aren't you going to go with them?" Eric asked his sister.

She shrugged in response.

A minute later, Donna ran back into the room. "Uh, we need you to stall for five minutes." She was looking at Eric when she said this.

"Me?" He asked, his voice squeaking. "Why?"

Donna threw up her hands. "I don't care which one of you does it, just do it!" She ran back out.

"I'll handle this." Fez told them. He marched through the doors. The music started but Fez held up his hands to stop it.

"Sorry, sorry." He said, running up to the stage.

"What's going on?" Kelso asked.

Fez ignored him and looked out into the crowd. "Uh, everything is alright, we're just having a slight delay because uh, Brooke can't find something blue."

Fez nodded, pleased with his lie. "Yeah, that's right, and well, you know how chicks are. They always have to have their something blue."

"I have a blue hair clip!" A voice shouted from the audience.

"I have a blue handkerchief!"

Fez shook his head. "No, ladies, that would be something borrowed and we already have that."

"I have blue panties!"

Donna and Jackie were watching Brooke pace in the dressing room.

"Do you want me to get your mom?" Donna asked.

Brooke shook her head. "No, I'm okay." She tugged on her dress. "I just needed a minute to calm down."

Jackie raised her eyebrow. "And how is that working out for you?"

Brooke sighed. "I'm getting married."

Jackie leaned in towards Donna. "She better be getting married."

"No, I am." Brooke told her. "God I wish I smoked."

CUT

"Okay this side…" Fez pointed to the groom's side.

"You say Potato, I say Pahtato." They all sang.

Fez pointed to the Bride's side.

"You say pahtato, I say potato"

"Now everybody!"

"Potato, Pahtato, pahtato, potato, let's call the whole thing off."

Red looked over at Kitty who was singing along.

"Come on Red, sing!" Bob poked him in the back. "You say Tomato, I say Tahmato."

"Okay, she's ready!" Donna yelled, followed by both girls.

"Thank god." Eric muttered. "I don't think I can live with another verse of Let's Call the Whole Thing Off." He ran into the chapel to signal Fez to stop.

"Uh, well, it looks like we found our something blue after all." Fez ran off the stage and through the doors.

"Uh, you guys are out of order." Brooke told Jackie, Fez, Laurie and Hyde. They quickly rearranged themselves.

"We are gathered her today to celebrate not only a new union, but a union that is already a family." Pastor Dave told the audience.

"I'm telling you a guy, that's the girl I did it with at the Molly Hatchet concert."

"Michael, I'm pregnant."

"Here's the thing, we should date."

"Your mom and I were talking and we agreed that you should move to Chicago."

"I miss my friends Brooke, and they need me, and I need them."

The wedding was a complete blur to Kelso. He did what he was told, recited his lines, but he knew that he probably wouldn't remember anything other than how beautiful she looked.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the…" Pastor Dave trailed off though, as Kelso was lifting Brooke into the air. He spun her around as they kissed.

Loud applause broke out in the crowd.

"bride."

Kelso put Brooke down. "Sorry." He said, grinning to show that he wasn't sorry at all.

He turned around to the crowd. "I got married!"

"Kelso, look out!" Eric shouted, but it was too late.

Hyde's Basement, two hours after the wedding.

"So, as you can see, it was your fault." Hyde told Jackie.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "How was I supposed to know he'd go all spastic and knock down the candles?"

"Jackie, this is Kelso we're talking about… Kelso!"

"Psst." A voice came from the stairs. "Psst!"

"Mom?" Eric asked.

"I brought you all some cake!" Kitty came down the stairs.

"So, can we go back up?"

Kitty shook her head. "Sorry." She laughed slightly. "Enjoy the cake!" She ran back up the stairs.

As soon as Kitty left the group all looked at each other and Fez pulled out a piece of paper.

"Who had 2:15?"

Thirty minutes later:

Eric stood up. "You know what guys? We don't need to go upstairs."

"We don't?" Donna asked.

Eric shook his head. "No, you guys, we don't even know half the people up stairs."

The others nodded. "This is true." Fez said.

"Not to mention the fact that the ones we do know, we hate." Jackie reminded them.

"Also true." Laurie agreed.

Eric continued, "We've got tunes, beer, I say we have our own little reception here."

The group all looked at Brooke, who after a moment, nodded. "Michael, find us some music!"

Kelso went over to the record player and put on Molly Hatchet's Flirting with Disaster and started to dance spastically.

Brooke just laughed and danced next to him. The others joined except for Hyde and Jackie who stayed on the couch.

Hyde looked at Jackie. "You did good today kiddo."

Jackie smiled. "Thanks." She snuggled closer to him and put his hand on her belly. Hyde started to move it off but changed his mind and put it back.

"Yeah, because of you I won forty five bucks." Hyde laughed as Jackie hit him.

NEXT:

The guys go fishing and the girls have Jackie's baby shower.