A/N: Pls don't hate me! Also, I'm still thirsty for reviews and etc.

Thanks for reading! -3

Warning: Problematic use of substances and alcohol, expect these kind of things in chapters ahead, too

Chapter 12: Ignorance is bliss

"Thanks for bringing me, daddy." Lauren forced a smile, looking at her father in the driver seat. She gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, and then opened the door of the car, "I wouldn't make it to my classes otherwise."

"You're welcome, darling. Good luck." The man grinned, driving the car away once she got out.

Lauren sighed as soon as she stepped inside of the apartment, throwing her bag in the floor. Faking she had spent a nice day had been more than simply difficult and she felt exhausted. The day just wasn't her favorite since she woke up in Darren's bed with the most terrible headache and not knowing how the fuck did she got there. Five minutes analyzing the situation wasn't enough for her to understand, so while she made her best not to cry because she had no idea what was going on, she sneaked out in silence at the very early morning, passing by Darren sleeping in the couch, so she could get to her place in time for his dad to pick her up. And she ignored his text by midday, hoping this would tell enough.

And not only that –she had class in thirty minutes, and the idea of facing people after whatever happened in Saturday put her stomach upside down.

While she was drying her hair after getting a hot shower, Caroline walked to her dormitory in her pajamas and with colored socks on.

"You're up." Lauren admired, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm impressed."

"Yeah, me too." Caroline nodded with a grin on her lips. She still hadn't brushed her hair, and her eyelids seemed only half opened; but it was one of the few times she hadn't needed to go to her room to awake her. "Happy New Year. How did you spend it?"

Lauren's response was only a few seconds later than normal. "Good. You know, with my mom's business. As usual. When did you get here?" She gave her a quick glance to emphasize this question and see if she could avoid a conversation she wasn't ready for.

"Last night." Caroline replied, carelessly running a hand through her messy shining red hair. "Apparently Darren & Co had this huge party. Didn't you go?"

Her friend was persistent on the same subject, so Lauren turned off the hairdryer and walked to the door.

"As I said, I spent it with my family." She grabbed the doorknob in a pretty obvious gesture. "I need to change my clothes right now."

Lauren and Caroline shared the first class of that Tuesday, and then Caroline went to Theater production and Lauren to Dramaturgy. You could tell by first sight that it was the first day after those short vacations, and that most students were one step further from taking their pillows to class with them. Mrs. Wood was aware of their conditions, and she had the consideration to give a calmed, quiet class. She assigned them the labor of continuing to work on their projects in silence, which was a not-so discrete encouragement to sign up in the investigation contest she arranged that year.

Lauren almost forgot about it, so she grabbed her Shakespeare books and drafts and tried to catch up in the thesis she used to be so thrilled about. She had been with her mind in cloud nine lately; not that she didn't think she deserved it, and not that she had failed any tests in the first semester, but the second would be rougher and heartless. Fortunately, she had made a choice and she shouldn't have any issues during the rest of the year. She talked with Mrs. Wood to organize the tutorages Lauren would start to give during this semester. This should keep her busy enough.

So she tried her hardest to maintain that determination when Darren reached for her arm at the end of the class. She had attempted to escape before the rest of the students walking the fastest she could, but at midday the halls were a mess and she couldn't avoid people quick enough.

"Hey," he called, kind of confused by the way she had avoided his gaze the entire class. "Is everything okay?"

Lauren breathed deeply when she turned around. Darren's eyes were wide open and the deep brown in them made the unnerve more obvious. She hoped that her intentions were implicit and to evade this conversation, but she didn't feel guilty to make it clear neither.

"You know it's not." She looked right into his eyes to make him know she was being serious. "I can't do this anymore." She confessed, and her tone turned out less rough than what she expected it to be.

"What do you mean?" The confusion on Darren's expression became alarm, wishing to not understand what Lauren was trying to tell him.

"This was a mistake, and what happened in New Year only proved it."

"Are you serious?" Darren raised his eyebrows. He shook his head while he took a deep breath. That had to be a misunderstood. Not that he was expecting recognition for anything, but he couldn't allow to be blamed that way. "I didn't put a single finger on you in the entire night. I slept on the couch. I even helped you to throw up. Jesus." The last swear emerged with frustration before he thought of preventing it; the outrage hit him too badly to be precautious.

"But any of it would've happened if it wasn't for you!" Lauren's voice sounded so loud a group of people behind them turned around to see what was going on. Her eyes had widened and they shined furiously.

Darren didn't even know where to begin. The fact that he was being accused of something like that, and by Lauren, felt surreal and he just didn't feel it was fair to even explain it any further. Someone who claimed to have such a sense of justice couldn't come up with something like this.

"I don't have anything to do with what happened. Shit, I was scared to my bones too. You can't be serious, you can't believe I did something like that. Joe -"

Lauren seized the lack of cohesion in his sentences, interrupting him sternly.

"What's the difference? You're just like Joe or any of your friends." The cold tone in her voice made Darren felt his heart was sinking into his stomach. He had actually thought they'd be okay, that Lauren would trust him and that he could just be with her. She sighed, shaking her head to herself before adding, "Something like this was meant to happen, you know that, Darren. We're too different. We'd never work it out." She made a pause to see if he was going to add something, but he was speechless, so she continued, quietly and calmer, "Goodbye."

Lauren pressed her lips together, slowly walking away in the opposite direction so Darren couldn't see her leaving; but he turned his head, remaining there for a second that weight on him like a decade. And thinking that out of all the shitty things he had done, caring about her shouldn't be one.

Joe was kind of expecting it when someone knocked the door of his apartment way too loud to be casual.

"I need to talk to you." Darren was inside before he finished saying that phrase. His voice was deep enough to make him realize he was serious, but not that defying as Joe thought it'd turn out to be.

"I sensed it." Joe said ironically. He had like five lost calls from his friend from the last day anyway, but he didn't get the guts to pick up after what happened, so he pretended he was just in a very long class.

"We need to clear up what happened at the party." Darren rested his weight back in the counter of Joe and Jim's apartment, and Joe closed the door and sat down on the couch, almost in front of him.

"About this fantastic purple bruise in my nose that makes me sniff every time I breathe?" Joe extended his arms at the side of the couch, lying comfortably; but of course that behind that sarcastic question there was more than just whit of grudge. "I'm interested."

Darren snorted, and his voice rose a bit. "I wouldn't have fucking punched you if you weren't making out with the girl I'm dating."

He almost recanted the use of the present I'm, but the excuse that followed his accusation caused him to completely forget about it.

"She didn't mention that when we were chatting."

Darren gave two steps further, and this sudden movement provoked that the table he was resting on lapsed on the floor a little, and a creak won out ahead his words.

"Don't be an idiot. You knew she was with me."

The silence was so profound that their voices almost echoed, and they sounded more like shouts without the necessity to actually put an effort on. Joe sighed, and he looked away for a second before interrupting him, like if Darren's attitude was utterly frustrating.

"Look, stop pretending you're a hero, Darren. Since when you're the savior?" Joe almost laughed, but he was precautious enough to avoid it. "You know something like this could happen since the moment we made a bet on it. Don't act like if you wouldn't have done it the other way around."

His foundations were solid, and he knew they were true –which hit him suddenly and badly for a moment. He wouldn't have hesitated if it had been him. It was a certainty.

He breathed a few times, trying to sift out his thoughts. "What about the fact that she was fucking drugged? What do you have to say to defend yourself about that?"

"Bro, she was just drunk. She was not-"

"She was unconscious and threw up in my apartment. It's the moment that you just admit it."

There was a frown up Joe's eyes, but he wasn't confused. The disappointment in his eyes was clear, and he shook his head a few times, like if he was trying to make sure about what was happening.

"Dude." He made a pause. "I can't believe –Are you listening to what you're saying?" His tone was not only resentful, it was badly offended. "Do you honestly believe I'm capable of something like that? I'm not a fucking rapist. I just –I can't believe you believe that."

"But…" Darren remembered how Lauren made him feel the last day when she assumed the same about him. And he did have to admit that something like that was going way too far for any of them, but it was the only theory that made sense and that's what made him declined to believe it. "Then how…"

"We were talking completely fine, and when we went upstairs she was fine and conscious, too. She just got very drunk."

Darren frowned and felt a knot in his throat at the mention of Joe and Lauren going upstairs, and despite a part of him wanted to ask and to know every fucking detail of what led them there. What did Joe say? Did she laugh? Did she close her eyes when they kissed? Were her hands cold, like when they were at the Huron River? Did she try to stop his hand when he lifted her dress? Did she like the way his touch felt on her? But he didn't think he could live on with that image in his head and that ignorance was indeed bliss this time.

"She didn't seem just drunk." He added quietly.

"Maybe that was what you wanted to see." Joe's comment upset him because if he was honest with himself that was the thing it made more sense, and he didn't want it.

"You know what? It doesn't even fucking matters, since she doesn't want to see me anymore."

Darren walked to the couch and threw his weight on it, sitting down next to Joe and resting his back in the leather. His friend looked at him, and there was a grimace in the corner of his lips.

A silent pause followed this action, until Joe finally let out:

"We should cancel this stupid bet already. It's ridiculous."

Darren held a snort, because it was the last thing on the list of his concerns at that point. But he wouldn't doubt to accept it, because in that moment he wanted to get rid off the bet, and Joe's bike, and Michigan's Hole, and the university overall.

"Yeah." He agreed, throwing his head back for a moment. Then he added, "We have more important things to worry about, like Perkins stalking us all the fucking time."

Joe walked to the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer.

"Oh, Brian told me about it. He said something weird happened at Jim's party, and that one of those guys was in the Hole the other day, too. Do you have any idea of what happened?"

He threw one beer to Darren, and he was almost not nimble enough to catch it.

"Not one I'd honestly put my money on. Not for now." And what was worse, he didn't know if he wanted to find out; but he omitted that part of his thoughts. "I'm cancelling the races for January at least."

Joe crossed his arms, leaning against the closed door of the refrigerator. He observed him for a moment, and he almost asked why did he think that was necessary, but the answer reached him implicitly.

"I think it's the best, too."

Darren opened the can, and the soft flick sounded while he stated, "I'm sorry about you and Devin, by the way."

Joe shook his head, kind of grinning, "I guess we're both back again now."

He walked to the couch, and they softly hit their beers together in a surreal toast.

It was either that he was a bit drunk or that everyone was kind of moving too much when Darren left Joe's apartment; fortunately the swing of his steps wasn't obvious yet. His place was only a few blocks away but he didn't really feel like riding in the state he was in.

So he decided to walk home and just pick his bike the next day, although he wasn't that sure of anything right then. It was only one block away when he remembered there was a bar he used to visit, and the remembrance caught him because there was a little group of girls from his class drinking and laughing in one of the tables outside. The proximity was enough for them to recognize him and the laughs became quiet whispers he didn't comprehend. Seconds later, a dulcet voice chanted his name, and he couldn't determine if it was the worst timing or maybe the perfect chance.

He failed to define as well, if he stood there waiting for Devin to realize that she should walk to him, or if it was her the one who approached him and touched his arm as she commented with a content voice:

"What are you doing here alone?" She continued before he had processed the first question, "It's funny, I was just thinking about you."

"Yeah, me too." Darren lied, despite he did talk about her with his friend. "What are you guys doing tonight?"

Devin shrugged, and the sight of a grin was drawn on her thin lips as she tilted her head to look at him.

"My friends are going to a club, but I don't really feel like partying tonight. I have class tomorrow whatsoever, and Mrs. Wood can be a pain in the ass." Why did everything sound so charming when she said it? She could be talking about baroque painting as well and it'd sound as nice and interesting. "What about you?"

"I was thinking about going home and getting in the bed, to be honest. Do you want a ride?"

Devin's refined eyebrows raised, and she gave a sneaky suggestion, "Or we could just go to your place."

Darren laughed because he just wasn't sufficiently alert to analyze the ethics or societal boundaries of the situation, and Joe and Devin broke up anyway and it wasn't like if Devin hadn't been willing to do this since the start and why would that matter nonetheless if life was so short and people were meant to reject happiness and Devin's voice was angelic and her skin was soft…

Darren groped the keys in the pockets of his jeans, and made a tiny effort more to remember in which direction he had parked his bike.

This was something Lauren would probably expect him to do. He could almost feel her judgmental gaze, but Darren knew this was fair and not even drunkenness could take that away from him. And that, notwithstanding everything, they weren't so different from each other after all.