A/N: Here's chapter eleven. Lizzie talks with Red but Red is doing most of the talking. Will Lizzie finally step up? For those who are still reading thank you! For those who are reading and reviewing, I appreciate each and every review! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter eleven

Lizzie entered the cabin quietly. Following the noise she heard from the kitchen she carefully joined him there. She really wasn't sure what to say. He'd been right. She'd never shown any interest in him. She'd made sure she kept her attraction to him a secret. She had no right to call him out on his behaviour.

"I'm sorry, Red." She said.

Red sighed and hung his head. He heard the defeat in her words and he didn't want her to feel that at all. He decided to tell her about Alicia. "I made an agreement with Alicia. She agreed to give you a discount on the clothes you bought. I paid the difference. That's what we were talking about."

"Why didn't you tell me?" If she had known she wouldn't have reacted like that.

"I am all too familiar with your need for independence, Elizabeth as with your need to lash out." He turned around and leaned against the counted. "I've told you before I'm done with that." He ran his hand over his head. "I need something from you. I can't keep on giving. I need some reassurance too."

"When I feel insecure I lash out. You're often at the receiving end of my temper because you are most of the time the source of my insecurity." She started. She knew it was only fair to share, though it wasn't easy for her.

"I don't understand." He looked away for a moment. "I don't ever want you to feel insecure with me. Why…?" He asked.

"Because you're you and I'm me. You're larger than life Red. The people you surround yourself with are larger than life. How can I compete with that?"

He titled his head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

"Say what?"

"That you feel like you're competing." He busied himself with storing away the rest of the groceries. "I don't understand. I really don't." How could she ever think there was any form of competition? Didn't she know by now that when it came to her, there was no competition at all?

"I'm sorry, Red."

"I'm not asking for an apology." He looked over his shoulder at her. "Why do you feel like you're competing?" He asked again.

"Because how can I ever be enough for the great Raymond Reddington?" She exclaimed.

"How can you ever think you won't be enough?" He said just as loud. He took a calming breath. He didn't want this to turn into a fight, not when she was opening up. He knew that she could just as easily shut him out. "Every day that I have you in my life is a gift to me. I cherish the moments we share and I expect nothing in return. I often question myself if I deserve you and I know the answer to that question all too well." He looked at her again. "Here I am doing all the talking again when you remain quiet. Why is that?"

"Because you're a chatterbox." Lizzie grinned. Seeing Red's raised eyebrow at her joke, she turned serious again. "Talking is easier for you then me."

"You choose to remain silent. It's not easy for me, but for us to get anywhere we need to talk. I can't do this on my own." He kept talking about them as if they had a future together but he wasn't sure that was true. She still hadn't told him what she felt for him. He needed to know. Only then would he be willing to keep fighting. "I need to know how you feel."

"About what?" Lizzie asked. She saw her innocent act wasn't fooling him and it even seemed to anger him.

"Don't be like this, Elizabeth. You know what I mean, but I am not going to drag it out of you. You either tell me freely or you don't. I'm not going to keep pushing. I've laid my cards on the table, yet you continue to keep them guarded. There's nothing more I can do, but I will tell you this. I'm not going to let you continue playing with my heart. At some point I'm going to need to protect myself and I will walk away." Before he left her alone in the kitchen he let his hand linger on her shoulder. His need to touch her, to feel her, despite their arguments, always burned within him.

Not for the first time she watched him walk away. These last few days, and maybe even longer than that, it had been a one way street. Red kept on giving her bits and pieces of himself and she'd been nothing but angry and surly towards him. She'd given him nothing. It would be only logical that at some point he would walk away. She was surprised he hadn't left her already. But wasn't that part of her problem? She kept pushing people away who got too close to her heart. Loving people hurt, left her feeling exposed and vulnerable. Feelings she had trouble dealing with. Pushing people away was the easiest solution because when they left, and she was sure they always would, it wouldn't hurt as much.

But what if Red left her life? Wouldn't that hurt her immensely? She was sure it would. If it would already cause her so much pain now what would it feel like if she truly let herself love him and let him love her? She wasn't sure if she could handle that.

On the other hand, what if being with Red could bring her the love she'd been looking for, for so long. The love she'd yearned for with Tom but had left her heart ripped apart and uncertain if it truly existed. What if it did with Red? Could he offer her true happiness? Could she do the same for him? Could she be enough for him? Enough for him to stay? He wondered if he deserved her, but she struggled with the exact same question. Did she deserve him? She wasn't so sure.

TBC...