Story: Masks of Deception, Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!
Oh! So you know how Shinra referred to Celty as "more human than a lot of people" or something like that? Well...
He(who was confirmed by volume 13 as "the first person to see through Izaya to his true nature") also said that Izaya's true nature is-
"He may seem cold-blooded, but he is more human and his heart(is) more brittle than anybody else's, so much so that, if filled with human love or betrayal, it will break easily, which is why I think he chose, from the beginning, to avoid it all, to love humanity, you understand? Not to accept it, not to face it, to avoid it."
And please please please tell me what you think of Shinra's part in this. I had to have Izaya do something to spark Shinra's interest, so I hope that my idea was an okay one. –w–;;
—-xox-—
Do you believe in love at first meeting?
Well, I do, but I don't know if I'd call what I feel typical "love" by a normal person's standards.
Maybe it's closer to a type of obsessive fascination, like some people get so addicted to anime or manga or animals or other things that they don't even know how or care to relate to people whom they have no interest in or share much of anything in common with? Don't get me wrong though! I personally just think that my 'love' is not what other people would label as typical romantic love.
There is romance involved, but... Ah! I'll try to explain it. How to put it...?
See, when I was very young, there was this mysterious boy that saved me from some adults which were harrasing me. That boy suddenly came out of nowhere when they had me cornered.
Dousing them all with several buckets of water, and spraying a couple of them with some kind of harsh chemical before he grabbed my hand and we ran off. He was all I could suddenly care to look at for that entire ten or so minutes as we were being chased by a few of them.
He easily outran them, smiling the entire time.
Even though I know he didn't do it out of a personal obligation of right or wrong, I still found myself enthralled by him.
He honestly told me that he simply did it do have some "fun"; To experiance something "new", because he was "bored".
And I could tell just by looking at his smile, and talking to him for a few minutes, that he was emotionally detached from this world. He wasn't even smiling at me as an individual. He was trying to live on his own plane, and subconsciously trying to observe or love all humans as one, akin to not loving anybody - probably even himself.
Yes, I did find his odd auburn eye color and his body in general to be very attractive and cute, but, again, it, with no doubt, it was the realization about his detachment alone that, in fact, made him so alluring to me.
For weeks after that, even though he himself may never even remember that incident, he was that all that was ever on my mind anymore.
It's only now that I realize for certain what I felt, and still feel, for him is love.
And now, I want to achieve the unachievable.
I want to bring out in him things that he doesn't let show or may not even know himself. I want to see in him the things that nobody else will ever see in him, to claim his true self for and by myself.
Also, I know it may sound kind of odd or maybe even impossible, but I want to get him to focus on me the same way I know he's prone to look at humanity, but I want to bring out the best and most charming side of him, and sides of him that I know he wants to reject.
Now that I think about it, maybe it's more of a desire to monopolize him, after all, since I do, by definition, want him for myself, and to satisfy my own loneliness and boredom in a way, but it's true that I really do love him and have an undeniable devotion to him.
Why did it turn out so obsessive?
Well, shortly before meeting him, my mother also left my father over some crazy arguements about antiques and that's when I really became truly lonely for the first time in my life. Perhaps it's that emptiness that had an drastic affect on me and made me reach out to something to cling onto?
Or maybe not?
Actually, I have reasons to both think so and think not so, and anyway, and I really don't care why.
Because now that I realize that I love him, and it's all I could ever care about now, more than anything else. I love him and I couldn't possibly want anything else. Unlike him, my heart is all that matters to me.
Oh, back when I first met him, I also managed to find out his name, which was very strange. You could even say it fit him quite well, too.
He may or may not know it, but I started following him around and asking people about him, and now I may even know more than he himself or his family knows about his own self background.
"Are you a stalker?", you might ask.
And, you know, I almost hate to say it, but you may not be too wrong to think that. In fact, I could even say that my feelings for him is the meaning of my entire life at this point. My love for Izaya is the very reason I truly want to continue living, and can't care about anything else. Just by finally talking to him again, and being put in the same middle school, after all of these years too, I'm more happy and excited than I could ever be otherwise.
Without him, I would surely feel dead inside. This love I have for him is the only cure to my loneliness.
They do say "love blinds one", after all, and I couldn't agree more.
—-xox-—
"Well, well, I'm expecting great things of you, Vice President!"
As Shinra patted him on the shoulder, Izaya found himself sitting in a chair and smirking back, almost amused at the enthusiasm of his 'friend'. He replied, "So basically, you're planning on doing nothing yourself, right...?"
"What? No. Of course I'm going to do something!" Shinra gasped as if he had been insulted. Whether he was being serious or not, Izaya could not tell.
"Oh?" he found himself raising an eyebrow, gesturing, in some sort of beguilement, for Shinra to kindly elaborate.
The bespectacled boy unanticipatedly stepped closer, from the other side of the desk he was sitting at, placing his palms flat on the desk. He leaned forward, a little too close for exact comfort where their noses were nearly touching. Izaya swallowed, when the brunette smiled all but brightly. His auburn eyes met dark gray ones.
"I told you before, didn't I? Oh well... I'll be a little more honest with you, Izaya. I'm completely using this club as an excuse to satisfy my loneliness by staying after school. See, there's somebody I love, so I really want to make an impression on them, but, for some reason, they seem to think I have no life," Shinra glanced away a bit, explaining his apparent situation. "so I want to prove them wrong and myself worthy to them in a certain way, but that aside. In return for you going along with this, you get to observe me. Isn't that great?"
"Firstly, I can entirely understand why somebody would think that... And secondly, I like to observe all humans, so of course it'd be great..." Izaya found himself looking away, a slight bit flustered, as he immediately began wondering who the mystery person was that Shinra had mentioned. He felt his chest fluctuate.
So that was why? Of course it would be. It made sense, but yet -
He hadn't seen him around any specific girl that he knew of, and nor had his friend ever mentioned any other relevant person in his life aside from his father. Guys didn't really make much of a noticible effort to approach him either, except occationally. Sure, there were plenty of people that hung around him, but Shinra never seemed interested in them.
All Izaya knew was that Shinra had been asking around about him as well.
So was there another possible factor that he hadn't considered or payed enough attention to?
Why had Shinra wanted to become his friend first place? Was it also to 'impress' the mysterious person?
"Izaya?"
What was the person like, and how the hell were they able to phase him in such a way when he couldn't? Who or what the hell was Shinra looking at?
In an instant, he realized he was, for some reason, jealous.
And he found himself so obsessed with figuring out exactly who had gained Shinra's attention that he had forgot that Shinra was even there - until hands had grabbed the side of his face, tiltling his head upward where their eyes could meet.
"Hey, don't worry, Izaya. I'm also very much here to support you no matter what you do as well, okay?"
Izaya was certain his heart beat had only sped up because he was startled by the unexpected actions.
"Ah. Yeah..." Izaya forced himself to say, entranced by Shinra's eyes and unreadable expression behind his smile. His lips were...
"Good." Shinra then pulled away, now sitting down in the swivel chair in the Biology Room and started spinning around in it as if treating it like a toy.
They had ended up founding the Biology Club together and were now using this Biology Club for their club activities.
Shinra was the President and Izaya the Vice President. They had yet to actually recieve any other members, though, since it had just been formed the day before.
"Ah," Izaya finally smirked, regaining his composure. "you say 'no matter what', but don't you realize that you should back such words up? I mean... what would you do if I decided to go and do something terrible...?"
"Hm? I guess it'd depend. You have a scenario in mind?" Shinra inquired, as if he was seriously taking it into consideration.
And Izaya was ultimately taken aback to hear him ask such a thing, his mouth somewhat open, as if he wanted to debate against his logic. Was Shinra serious or was he playing along and making a joke? It had to be a joke.
"Okay, fine. In theory, let's say I wanted to kill somebody, then," Izaya slightly smirked, finally and freely deciding to quickly give him one of the worst case scenarios possible, catching Shinra's eyes, "and I asked you for guidance. What would you tell me? That I shouldn't do it? Or would you help me by finding a hitman to get up with?"
"Neither," Shinra smiled in return, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I'd simply kill them for you without a question or hesitation if I knew for certain that you really wanted them dead that bad. Ah, but I might not even do with you knowing. I'd also hide the body."
Izaya's heart stopped for a second, yet began to beat much faster in sudden unexplained diversion. Something wasn't right about Kishitani Shinra.
"...Do you mean that? I mean, you know I was just making a joke, right?..." he had to ask, compelled by the alluring - and so damn interesting! - vibes he was getting from Shinra.
"Yep, but I'm actually being as serious as possible, Izaya. Although, you wouldn't typically and seriously want somebody dead without a reason, would you?"
"...Would I literally wish for something as certain as death on a human? I don't think so. I'm not that heartless..." Izaya muttered, also considering it though. He himself was in fact terrified of the prospect of death, and would prefer to observe living people if he could help it..
If he did, there would have to be have to be a damned good reason, at least by his own standards.
If he could help it, he'd simply prefer not to get in trouble with the law anyway.
However, it was on that day, that he realized how dangerous Kishitani Shinra really was. He just felt it.
His interesting classmate was all but serious when he had said he would kill somebody for him.
But Orihara Izaya, being Orihara Izaya, didn't mind at all. In fact, it was right up his alley.
~ End of (Such a short)Chapter
A/N: Hey! I'm back again. Still keeping my ear open to hear opinions against the idea of ShizuoxCelty. And pleeease tell me what you thought of the Shinzaya in this chapter? Please, I'm not used to writing for this pairing. Sorry it's not much, but I hope it's at least somewhat satisfactory for the time being. ;-;
And Kamirouba, thank you so much for sharing your input and, by the way, Iike TomShizu too. Pfffft, I'll ship mostly anything. XD