A/N: I just spent literally five entire nights to finish this. I'm not sure what it is but it's 9 am and i really need to sleep so i'm just letting it in here, like, it's you guys' problem now.
THere's smut oh no I'm so bad! Feel free to skip it, though it's the only mildly decent thing in the chapter. It's right at the end. Did I mention this is INSANELY LONG? It's insanely long.
Chapter 20: Tidal wave
"Morning," Rachel's thin voice rose above the decreasing motorbike's engine, as a lazy hand mussed with Joe's hair as the bike stopped moving, before he nodded out of that touch that was way too early and/or late to feel comfortable with. "Sorry I'm late, I'm just not used to take an eight hour nap while sober."
"Idem," Brian agreed after taking the last sips of coffee from the plastic mug that was afterwards thrown out into the grass, "There's someone else missing? We should get going, it's almost midnight."
Jeff shook his head, already lifting a leg to climb the bike. "Everyone's here. Let's get moving."
It felt early, despite the moon above them was claiming it was not. But it was just that nobody had dared to contradict their unanimous agreement of having a good day of sleep before getting on their ride to New York that would last an entire night. They needed to get in time for Tyler Sagner's class in the morning so they'd get his apartment lonely, and they needed to be open-eyed and focused. There wasn't room for screwing up.
Darren handed Lauren a red helmet while a grin of defiance and anticipated satisfaction was sketched on his lips.
"Ready for the first nine hour long ride of your life?"
"Please, tell me we're gonna do a stop to pee." She asked nervously; just thinking about that amount of time moving to a speed that didn't allow her to spot any point on the ground beneath her made her stomach tie up at the instant.
"We're gonna make a stop at Delaware to get something to eat, but I wouldn't get too distracted with the landscape because it'll be short." He explained, walking the steps between the lamp post he was leaning into and the bike, before climbing in.
Lauren had to raise her voice to be heard above the sounds of the gang around her starting their bikes. She got behind Darren and put on the helmet as he had done a second before.
"Don't worry about it, I'll be too focused on trying not to throw up in the entire trip to delay you any further."
She couldn't hear him giggling slowly, but somehow she felt it happened either way.
"You'll change your mind once we're at it." He simply said, and started the bike they were in as well. The sound became thundering for a moment while Darren was warming up the engine, joining the others.
Joe took the lead first moving abruptly quickly, Rachel swiftly following him so they were practically next to each other. Jim, Brian and Jeff got behind them, leaving Darren and Lauren at the end of the line. Darren didn't drastically speed up at first, allowing her to get used to the sense of moving for a little while.
"It's okay." Lauren said after a moment. "I have no choice but to trust you, so you can go at that dangerous, adrenaline-inducing speed you love so much."
"I appreciate the honesty." He fairly answered, "Hold tight."
She almost didn't obey that smug advice but she was glad she did, because she'd have probably fallen out of the bike otherwise and she would've never allow herself to forget if that happened during the first five minutes of the ride. Her hands grasped sturdily the cloth under the leather jacket, feeling distantly Darren's ribs under her fingertips. His upper body slanted nimbly towards the handle in order to fight the wind trying to slow them off, so Lauren did the same, her body relentlessly resting against his. Her heartbeat raced when the instinctive alarming sensation invaded her body, and she hoped Darren couldn't tell.
So that was it. That's what got Darren and a surprisingly high number of people driven in together to the point of forming a bond that implied risking their lives for each other. That was the feeling that got them together in the first place. It was something quite unique, clearly, but she couldn't finish to understand it completely yet.
"So now that I'm allowed to ask. What's so great about speed?"
Darren's response wasn't immediate.
"What's so great about books?" He finally replied, his voice like the one that comes out of a person who's talking to himself. "They make us forget."
Lauren gulped, trying to find something to say but feeling that a reply would be like taking a pencil and writing a footnote on a finished printed book.
The sky was dyeing pink when the sensation of unsteadiness normalized enough to allow a few other talks, and hands slackening to the point of falling into laps and helmets eventually being hung into handles, my head hurts to this point, she lied and rested her head on his back, closing her eyes and letting herself get carried away by the constant swaying of the vehicle.
They made a quick stop at three in the morning for physiological reasons, while Lauren struggled between I need you to be at least thirteen steps away from me to do this and I'm afraid to die if I walk into these woods. Darren was sending a text when she came back, thankful for the lack of inconveniences, and they got on the road again.
"It's different at night." Darren said while they continued. "Not necessarily worse or better, but it's different."
"You mean particularly macabre? Because, if television has taught me well, I should've died when I walked into the woods to pee." Lauren snapped and then wet her lips, feeling the dry cracks caused by the constant wind on her face.
"Besides that," He cut, "I don't know. The roads is mostly dead so you can travel faster, kinda the same thing that happens with the thoughts in your mind as well."
"It gets congested by day, doesn't it?" Lauren's voice was soft.
Darren wasn't sure what that question was referring to.
"You should know. You're usually the one hampering the way."
Lauren giggled, adding playfully, "Only by day? I guess I overestimated myself."
"Okay, sometimes you camp there, I guess." Darren admitted, not too pleased of having that conversation. "My point is, this would've been better if, you know, we weren't hurrying to get to New York for illegal procedures."
"Well, yeah. Mere details." Lauren rolled her eyes.
Two hours and a half later Darren parked in a gas station, where they met with Jeff and Brian and shared cheap hot coffee and croissants for a few minutes. Brian informed the rest was a few miles ahead them, so they'd get to New York first to find a parking lot for their bikes and rent a car with tinted windows to watch over Tyler's apartment safely. Darren was glad they took care of that part, because his mind barely had place for anything else besides making sure Lauren would get in and out of that apt in one piece. He was trying to pretend the matter didn't worry him, but he knew that'd be impossible by the time they got there.
It felt only real when they crashed into a lonely alley, in a tense silence, and Darren dialed Joe's number. They shared a quick talk; Brian and Jeff carefully observing Darren in a seriousness that made Lauren's hands clutch tighter into the straps of her bag. It was early in the morning, the streets were getting crowded by people getting to work and the air was getting infested by horns outside and radios turning on inside of houses.
"It's still too early, we'll have to wait to get into the building." Darren announced after he hung up. "I say we should get our bikes into the parking lot as well. Nobody should see them around here."
"Sure. You're in charge." Brian said, shrugging.
They did as Darren said. Though the receptionist at the parking lot frowned when they leaved, he did not ask questions and they continued their waiting in another couple of minutes of tense silence, standing next to each other in an empty alley, occasionally gazing into the crowded streets with lost eyes and hands in pockets, until Darren's phone rang again and the voice at the other side announced:
"His car just turned around at the corner of the block. He's gone. See you at the entrance."
"Great." Darren replied, "See you there."
The four of them walked the five blocks that separated them from Tyler's apartment in a rushed walk, before falling into the count that they had the entire morning to do things carefully slow. Brian recognized the building and stopped Darren with a hand.
"This is the one." He said, but there was no one they could recognize in the surroundings.
Darren spun on himself trying to find his friends while Brian was calling John, the guy that shared the floor with Tyler and was supposed to let them in. He walked a few steps after failing at it, when a voice finally felt familiar and it almost scared him to find out it came from right next to him.
"Hey, pretty boy."
"Give me a reason on why that was necessary." Darren said, half amused half upset, looking down at Joe's grin of satisfaction looming in the car's window, before shaking his hand in a friendly way.
"Couldn't miss the chance." He simply said. "Is everything all right?"
"Perfect. And you guys?"
Joe's lips made a short wince before answering. "Rachel is being a crybaby, but we got it handled."
"Except you don't." Rachel replied as she appeared behind the door of the backseat. "I wanna go inside too. I'm bored here."
"We can't be a bunch of people walking in, we're supposed to be discreet." Darren gave her a dead stare that left clear they didn't have time to discuss anything like that.
"Fine, then one of you can stay in the car. Trust me, the more girls walk in with you, the less suspicious you'll look."
There was a silence until Jeff rolled his eyes, "I'll stay in the car." He said, getting in, as Rachel tried to hide the grin on her lips.
Someone opened the door of the building in the other side of the street as the switching was being made, and a tall, brunette young man with fine features and green eyes greeted them with a hand from the distance. Brian waved back.
"We'll call you when we're up there." Darren said before Joe's face disappeared behind the window.
John was extremely nice and gentile, which was rare if you have in mind they were a group of mostly strangers that was going to use his apartment for illicit activities. I'm having a few friends over, he informed to the housekeeper before they took the elevator to the fifth floor. Darren gave Brian a look when the host asked if they wanted tea or something to eat, and they had to remind him they weren't actually there visiting an old friend. His insistence didn't decay and they finally asked some water to keep him satisfied.
Rachel took a seat at one of the table's chairs, while Brian dragged one from next to her to the convenient spot to take off the grille of the ventilation conduit. Lauren left her bag on the floor and sat down on the couch, her eyes diverting to the glass of water on the table wishing it was closer, because her throat had gotten unbearably dry all of sudden. The next feeling reaching her was Darren's hand on her lap as he sat down beside her.
"Hey." He called softly. "Are you okay?"
Lauren nodded, grinning as she looked at him, hoping this would work. She didn't want him to think she was scared and that she was thinking of quitting now, even though the feeling was creeping out in the corner of her brain.
"You don't have to do this." Darren added quietly, knowing Brian would kill him with his own hands if he heard him saying that phrase.
"I already said to you I want to."
Darren's lips bent, like if that response sort of disappointed him a bit. Brian hopped off the chair and leaved the grille on the table. Then he took a paper out of his bag and called Lauren's name. She seized this to drink the glass of water as Brian showed her a blank and white printed map of the ventilation system that seemed to have more than just a few years of existence.
"You should make only one turn, at the right, in the third intersection you find, and you should get right there in his bedroom with no problem." Brian said, pointing at a sketch and Lauren came to the conclusion that whether the scale or the real life version were too thin for anyone to transport themselves in.
Rachel's hand placed on her shoulder and she almost jumped. "Ready?"
"I guess so." Lauren glanced at Darren, but he was momentarily busy on his phone to hear them, so she added lowly, "What if I get claustrophobic or something?"
"You won't." Rachel firmly replied. "In the course of the last four months I've seen you handling so much worse than this."
Lauren frowned for a moment, and Rachel cut whatever words almost came out of her mouth; and the sincerity in her tone convinced Lauren even more than herself.
"Trust me, I recognize nerve when I see it. You got this."
"We'll we on the phone for you all the time whatsoever, so you can ask us anything and we'll know what's going on the entire time. Tyler won't come back for at least two hours. There's nothing to be scared of." Brian assured. Lauren grabbed her phone from her pocket and he connected a pair of small earphones. "I'm calling you right now."
Lauren put the phone in silence mode and back in her back pocket, the wire of the headphones secured under her shirt and finally in her ears. Then Darren handed her a blue pen drive that was the size of a rubber. She kept it in the depth of another pocket to make sure it wouldn't fall.
Darren placed his phone on the table.
"I got Joe and the guys in loudspeakers, just in case." He informed. Brian nodded.
Lauren walked to the chair Brian had used a moment before.
"See you in a moment, I guess." She said as one foot was placed in the seat.
Darren looked at her and grinned mildly, which she knew she should interpret as a sign of trust, but everything was surreal. Rachel walked next to her and offered her hand to balance her weight as she stood up. Lauren put her arms in the ventilation conduit and stared from nigh, and she realized it was so high to climb, and ridiculously small, and fragile, and dark for anyone to decide this was a reasonable idea. It just felt impossible and she didn't know what she was doing there with those people she barely knew, risking her future for the justice of a boy that had practically never spoken a word to her.
Impossible.
Until she gave a jump, tightening her arms onto the metallic surface, and she was in. She didn't think it through. And once her torso had gotten inside, it was a non-issue to fit her legs in. The first inconvenient was the air. It was hot and rare, and she knew it'd get worse as time passed since she was blocking the movement of it. The almost complete darkness she descried ahead wasn't inspiring, but there'd be grilles every now and then that'd prevent her to get lost as she moved forward. So when she decided to get moving was when the most relevant issue came to light: she fit in, yes, but she couldn't find a comfortable position to crawl while being ground chest.
"You okay?" Darren's voice was the one that sounded through the phone, not Brian's. "We're here."
"Yeah, it's all right." Lauren answered lowly, her voice echoing louder than intended in that small space.
"Have you found the first intersection?" Brian sounded a bit more distant.
"Not yet, but I haven't moved much. It's pretty difficult, but give me more time."
A while later, she discovered that she could slightly press her back against the upper surface and lean into her elbows to move a bit faster. On the bad side, it was more uncomfortable and her forearms would get a few bruises afterwards. A glimpse of light and wave of air hit her a moment later on.
"Brian, I found the first intersection." Lauren called, excited, but she didn't get an answer in the next seconds. "Brian?"
Seizing that tide of air, she rested her weight on one arm to get her phone out and see if the call was still on. It was so obvious that she hated herself and the whole group for not realizing before. There was no signal up there. She rolled her eyes, and with a tap of her hand she took the headphones out of her ears, so the wires hung from the neck of her shirt. She changed the silence mode to vibrator in her phone just in case the signal was available again. Then she continued the way ahead. After the second intersection, her arms started to get notoriously sore so she did her best to rush the whole thing and finally get there.
She turned to the right in the third intersection, as Brian had told her, but she just wasn't sure which one of the grilles she was supposed to look for now. The first two outlets exuded way too much noise and light to be the ones, and the third one hinted a quiet, dark room. Brian would've specified if she had to keep going for a long while, so the smartest thing was to think this was it.
Lauren took off the grille with a mildly hard pull, and confirmed it was a dark, empty bedroom. The conduit leaded exactly into the head of the bed. Next to it, a bedside table with papers and a dirty mug. A closet in front of them. Her heart was racing fast and she breathed deeply in an attempt to calm it down. If it wasn't the right apartment she could get in more than just a severe trouble, but there wasn't a way to figure it out from there. So she inhaled as she let herself practically fall to the bed, knowing there wasn't much she could do to control it.
It wasn't the most graceful landing of her life, but besides a few bumps nothing bad would come out of it. She stood up and took a look around the bedroom, but she couldn't spot anything she hadn't seen from the ventilation. She gave slow, careful steps to the kitchen/living room but everything pointed that the department was lonely and that she was in the right place: lights were off but there were cues that someone had been there not long ago –dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of books on the table and the lavatory in the bathroom still wet.
She walked to the table and tried to check the class notes without messing anything around, when her fingertips accidentally tripped into the harder surface she was searching for. She bit her lip in excitement as she grabbed the laptop, then placed it on the table and raised the screen, placing the phone and pen drive on its side.
Luckily Tyler was stupid enough to not put a password for logging into his user's session, so she had no problems while turning the computer on. She recognized more than one face in the background's picture, in what it seemed a casual, friendly photograph taken in one of NYU's yards. There were a few icons that hinted nothing special: videogames, online chats, internet browsers; the usual. So she connected the pen drive in the USB entry, and a green light turned on in the device. There were a few seconds of expectance until the computer read it, and then two or three clicks to run the program.
An overwhelming amount of text showed in the screen during the beginning of the procedure, but she had practiced with Joey and she was prepared for it, so her eyes landed quickly on the bolded question: Do you wish to copy the online history, passwords, caches and files from the current user of last 30 days?
*Yes.
Include disguised browsing. *Yes.
Copy into. *Device.
Delete procedures of the current session from the operative system once the action is completed. *Yes.
There was a tiny clock loading for a few eternal seconds, until the WordPad was opened and a text started scrolling down very quickly, just as it was expected; and an announcement of ten minutes remaining of task calmed her down. Ten minutes and she would've succeeded.
Well, almost, but the way back would imply nothing now that she knew how to get through.
She let out a breath, looking around the apartment for no other reason than curiosity now. It was more than just a nice apartment, similar to John's but you only had to glance at the television or another household appliance's brand to notice that you'd never find someone from Michigan living in a place like that. Not even her.
The books at the table hinted that Tyler studied something like business management, agronomy or economic sciences. She didn't care about that enough to dig deeper, and instead she took a look at the collection of wine and whisky showing off at a pantry next to the fridge. Trapiche, Cristal, Ballantine's; recognized brands printed in shiny eclectic letters over the crystal of the bottles. No wonder why the gang had ever become too involved with people like these.
A low buzzing caught her attention again, and a sudden worrying of something going wrong with the program hit her badly. But she sat on the chair in front of the laptop and the process was three minutes away from finishing. Everything was correct, the buzzing wasn't coming from the computer. She glanced down.
Brian.
She grabbed the phone from the table as fast as she could and answered the call, ignoring a few missing ones on the waiting. She had completely forgotten about them.
"I'm in, everything's fine." Lauren snapped quickly, hoping to hear congratulations instead of a rough interruption.
"He's back, Lauren! Tyler's back! He came back to the building. You need to get out of there." Brian sounded shaky and worried enough to scare her to guts.
She was sure the floor beneath her moved for a second, in the edge of ripping into pieces.
"What?"
"That's why I've been calling you. Something must've happened. Joe informed us he came back twenty minutes after he was gone, so you need to come back. Right now."
"I'm two minutes away from finishing this. I'll be right there in a moment." Her heart was about to come out through her throat to the only thought of Tyler coming exactly where she was in that moment, but she ignored it.
"Lauren, forget about it. Just get here now. It's not safe anymore." It was Darren this time, and he sounded deadly serious. "Lauren."
It got worse after she didn't answer.
"Where must he be right now?"
"In the elevator, I suppose." Brian said, sounding more hopeless with every minute that passed. "He'll be there at any minute. Just come back! We'll try it again later."
The disappointment in Brian's tone as he let out that lame, false statement made nothing but convincing her more. She hadn't gone this far for nothing.
"Lauren?" Brian asked again, after that moment of silence, fearing they'd lose the connection once more.
"Don't worry." She replied, her leg shaking uncontrollably in anxiety but without moving from the chair; there was still one minute left.
That door two feet away from her could open at any second and she had absolutely no idea of what she could do next.
"I'll see you guys in a moment." Their voices continued to argue at the same time, but something inside her shut them off.
She placed her fingers on the edges of the pen drive, disposed to pull it off the second the task was over, so when it hit 0 seconds she was practically in the bedroom, climbing to the head of the bed.
Her hands were gripping the orifice in the wall when she realized she hadn't closed the laptop screen. He would notice at the instant that someone had been there. He would not be stupid enough to dismiss that.
"Shit." She whispered.
"Lauren, are you all right?"
"Yeah," She breathed.
I'm just incredibly stupid, she wanted to add. She ran to the living room again, and closed the laptop with a slap of her hand, and then hid it again under the notes, the way it was before she got there. There, done, let's go.
Except the door lock was spinning with a low bur, and she was five seconds away from the only thing she didn't have to do during this trip: get caught.
She ignored Brian and Darren's voices trying to find out what was going on in the other side of the line as she ran back to the bedroom. The door was opening when she stepped in, and there wasn't a way of climbing the air duct without practically holding a sign with fluorescent letters indicating she was inside of the house. So within what were only two seconds but felt like two minutes, she slid quickly through the half opened closet door and closing it behind her, got in a corner and sat there, behind the expensive cashmere coats and trying to make herself as small as it was physically possible –as if this could get her out of it again, holding her legs, her eyes looming above her knees in the dark room.
If whatever Tyler forgot and came back for was in that closet, she was completely and inexorably screwed up.
There were steps and sound of things shifting in the kitchen. She stared into the bedroom through the grids of the closet door. She felt nauseous, an outspreaded version of the feeling you get when you know the teacher is going to ask you a question you can't answer.
She hadn't gone this far for nothing.
Right? She couldn't talk with Brian and Darren for help. But she could text. So she took her phone out of her pocket and ended the call, then typed quickly I'm in the closet. Help and put the phone back in its place in a second, before anyone could see anything, anywhere.
The phone didn't vibrate right back, and she didn't know if that was worse or better.
She couldn't help but to gasp quietly when Tyler casually walked inside of his bedroom, apparently upset. He sat down on the bed, opened the drawer of his bedside table and grabbed a packet of what it seemed like cigarettes. Hopefully, this would be all his duty in there and he'd leave in a moment.
Lauren's phone vibrated. She didn't check it for obvious reasons. So it couldn't be real when Tyler's eyebrows made a frown and he turned his head to the closet where she was hiding at. It just couldn't be.
But there he was, that guy they had been talking about for the past week, that caused Brian and Darren to stay awake for forty hours trying to find the possible way to irrupt into his house and leave without getting caught. There he was, walking slowly to the door of the closet, that way people walk when they're half suspicious, half afraid and a tad trying to convince themselves it's all in their head.
Tyler started sliding the door to open it, the light of the room breaking in and making the darkness in front of her clearer and clearer. Lauren closed her eyes, as if this would lessen what came next. And her mind was just repeating over and over in what it was almost a scream, this is it, this is it, this is it.
But it wasn't it. It should've been, in a way. Maybe if she had done something differently. But exactly in that way, when Tyler's knuckles were tightening around the wood of the door and he was going to check if his instinct had failed him, a loud, desperate, frightening knock hit the door.
Tyler sighed, annoyed. The knock didn't stop until he trotted to the living room and announced "Coming!"
Lauren didn't need an invitation to find her way out. She practically followed Tyler's run behind him. She quickly climbed the wood at the head of the bed and pulled off the grille, hearing distantly a voice asking "what the hell is wrong with you?" and John's usual friendly tone rambling something about electricity issues, have you had them? And she couldn't hear the rest as she got inside of the duct, but she was pretty sure that John hadn't gotten very well out of the whole thing, and made a mental note to thank him later.
She breathed deeply once she was up there again, and felt ridiculously safe despite being in a place that would cause panic attacks in most people.
Ten minutes later, Rachel's voice almost yelling as she stood up from the chair in a jump.
"She's here! She's here!"
Lauren's arms were extremely sore when she got to John's, so she kind of let her weight fall on Darren as he helped her land back in the floor.
"She's here, guys." Rachel said near Darren's phone at the table, probably to Joe in the line. "Call us when Tyler's out again and we'll meet downstairs."
"Do you have any idea of what you put us through?" Brian spat, upset, and his face was red like if he had ran his hand against it a thousand times.
"You're officially mental." Darren sentenced, shaking his head, as she took the device out of her pocket and handed it to him with an utterly satisfied smile that wasn't affected by her tiredness. His lips opened a moment before the question came out, "You did it?"
"It's why we're here after all, isn't it?" She simply said, shrugging.
"I can't believe you did it." Brian sounded suddenly relieved and surprised, but mostly happy.
"What? Did you guys doubt that I could do this?" Lauren challenged, though their shocks only made her victory sweeter.
"Not for a second." Rachel said with a smile, and then an arm wrapped her as she kissed her firmly on the cheek, "Well done."
Then the girl walked to Brian and checked the pen drive in his hands, as if its exterior had somewhat changed because of what it now carried inside.
"So, can we check out what's in there now or…?"
Brian shook his head, "We need Joey for that. It's not… that simple. But he said he's sure he can do it. So it'll be the first thing to do once we're in Michigan again." He looked at Darren, like if he had forgotten who was the one in charge of the plans, "Right?"
Darren shrugged. "Sure, but… after we get some sleep. Because if I remember correctly, The Hamptons is our stop for the night, isn't it?" Darren grinned subtly, his hands falling on Lauren's waist. "To celebrate, obviously."
"Please." Rachel cried. "I could really use a celebration right now."
"You gotta invite John, guys." Lauren added, looking at the man that had remained observing the situation in a gentle silence, "God knows where I'd be right now without him."
John simply gave them a timid smile in response, before Brian decided that it was actually a great idea and he could take him on his bike.
"Where to, exactly?" Lauren asked. "I know that place is filled with private beaches, but if we want to find a place we should've made a reservation before."
Brian held a laugh that confused her.
"Don't worry about it," Darren simply said, "I know a place."
It was almost the evening when they got there. They were exhausted, dizzy and hungry. Brian went to get burgers for everyone, while they got themselves settled in. It was pretty obvious when Jim forced a gate with a sign that read Private beach: Property of The Mansons. She felt stupid to be surprised about it. How else would they get a place? She would never conclude to understand all of this.
"So this is someone else's property?" Lauren asked, following Darren as he got his bike inside. It just sounded less relevant every time the question was expressed out loud. Maybe this is how groups start to normalize screwed up things, ending up on thinking about murdering an innocent one out of a strategic play.
"Too late to pretend you care about those things now." Rachel barged in from behind them, "You're one of us."
She proceeded to start a she's one of our own chant that spread way louder and longer than what Lauren would've ever wanted it to, but she couldn't avoid the laugh shaking her stomach.
"Does that answer your question?" Darren asked with a grin. Lauren rolled her eyes.
Despite she'd never admit it out loud, the view was worth anything. The beach was utterly gorgeous, wide enough to have a stone hill at one side, which summit coincided right up with a deep water zone. The rest was just dreamy bright sand and transparent water, all for themselves. There was a fancy barbecue area, and everyone soon gathered their bikes under the roof to protect them. There was also a mansion five hundred feet away, but Darren said it'd probably have a security alarm, so they couldn't even think of putting a feet inside there.
Not that they were unprepared for spending a night at the wild. They had brought four tents to spend the night and protect themselves from wind and rain, if necessary. They were assembling them when Brian came back with the food and started to work in the barbecue. Jim was having a heated up argument with Jeff about how that tent was supposed to stand, meanwhile Joe was getting the beers Brian brought inside of the icebox container.
"They better hurry, I wanna get changed." Lauren complained. The sun was too perfect for her to be in leggings and a black shirt.
"Then give us a show." Rachel said playfully with a smirk, looking at her as she sat down on her jacket, next to Darren, over the grass in that place it met the sand. She crossed her feet above the sand, showing off her dark brown mountain boots.
"Yeah, right away." She replied sarcastically.
"You'll be disappointed to know that ours is a beach tent, therefore can't lock in, and that I'm not even planning to put it up." Darren informed with an expression that didn't look like much of an apologize neither.
Lauren snorted. "And do you have an explanation for that?"
Darren stood up and just shrugged, like he always did whenever he took one of those senseless decisions.
"Look at this place, do you seriously want to spend the night inside?"
Lauren bit her lip because she knew she couldn't fight against that argument, so she just gave him a killer glance before walking to Joe and ask him if she could use his tent. She got into a pair of short jeans and a white tank top, going out to the sight of Brian's burgers emitting a light smoke and nice smell, and Jim and Jeff running to the hill, dragging John with them, taking their shirts off and saying something like seizing before the sun got down.
She sat down beside Darren and Rachel, taking off her shoes to feel the sand beneath her feet.
"So," Joe approached them, opening a bottle of now cold beer. "What is it like? Sagner's apartment."
Lauren pressed her lips together before answering.
"It's really nice. The place is huge, and he's got an enormous library and liquor collection."
"Basically, a fucking palace." Joe concluded with obvious resentment, then handed the bottle to Rachel.
Lauren felt she should say something to agree or contradict with that statement, but she wasn't sure what.
"Plasma TV?" Brian asked from the grill.
Lauren nodded.
Brian snorted. "We should've at least stolen something else from that place. I'm sure if you searched for five minutes more you could find a jewelry box that would pay our entire tuition and our kids'."
"She'd have also gotten caught, and we wouldn't be here." Darren snapped.
"I'm with Brian on this." Joe continued as if Darren had said nothing. "It was the least we could've done, don't tell me you would feel guilty about it. They're the worst, and they deserve the worst. And now that we know that this works, we can come back some other time. He probably wouldn't even be able to tell if there's something missing."
Lauren wasn't sure the whole come-back-other-time and plans that involved getting into the air conduct again without consulting her were okay with her. So she distracted herself with the distant sight of Jim and Jeff jumping from the hill into the water, screaming in excitement and fear and waving their arms while doing so.
"Of course he'd be able to tell." Rachel said. "Rich people are like that, the more they have, the more they want, and they don't care about anyone that gets in the way of that, or their excuses or justifications. That is why we're here, after all."
Something got inside Lauren's throat. She felt that conversation suddenly distant, like if she was observing it through a screen or reading it in a book.
"I'm going for a walk by the water." She announced, standing up.
"I'll catch you in a while." Darren replied, and she just nodded in response before walking away.
None of them have ever been in her house. In her apartment, yes, the place she was trying to sustain with the least help possible, but what when Darren decided to come to her actual house and then got greeted by a housekeeper at the front door? Wouldn't he think the same things his friends did? They all thought alike. They all shared, more or less, the same ideologies.
Worse: she had fragile discourses to stand against any accusation.
She was an intruder in there. She didn't belong.
Once she was away from the sound of Joe's bike's radio, she dipped her feet in the water, walking slowly until it got to the height above her knees. It was quite cold for a day like that, but nothing unbearable. The peace from the nature was so consuming that the last concerns vanished within the blink of an eye, the calmness practically forcing her to claim it as the only escape. When she breathed, she felt her lungs became clear, the air purging the bad thoughts out.
At a certain distance, another scream as Rachel fell to the water from the hill.
At the other side, nothing but the comfort of an immensity of water that made her sway slightly when it hit her legs, and the fresh wind in a gentle invitation to let her hair down she just could not turn down.
"You smell like mint." Darren's voice reached her from behind.
"I put on some perfume, since a shower's not a possibility today." She explained without turning around, her gaze still lost in the constant movement of the sea.
She sensed his proximity more due to the sound and feeling of the water stirring than anything else.
"I didn't tell you this earlier, but…" He continued, talking slowly, "I'm proud of you."
Lauren finally looked at him as she dryly let out, "I almost screwed everything up."
"Almost is a definite word in that statement, you know?"
She grinned, but her pupils were dropping down. Darren's jeans had been rolled up to avoid getting his only pair of pants wet while walking in the sea; and then his warm fingers held a mole in her neck in a gentle caress.
"What's going on?"
As if he wouldn't be able to tell.
"Nothing," She said quietly, shortly shaking her head.
Darren's lips opened to say something, but a loud shout from the shore interrupted him.
"Dinner's ready!" Brian announced proudly.
"Coming, daddy!" Rachel yelled back in a sassy comeback, her hair and clothes completely wet as she walked out of the water.
Darren shook his head, amused. Lauren barely even listened what just went down. Instead, she breathed in and placed a hand on his arm to get his attention.
"There's actually something I want to tell you." Darren's eyes gave away more than just curiosity. "Don't laugh, because I'm serious, okay? When we come back to Michigan, I want to do it with you."
Darren let the few next seconds pass with only a frown, before he asked, "By it, you mean…?"
"I mean sex, yes." Lauren cleared firmly.
"Are you sure?" As much as everything inside of him wanted to celebrate that announcement immediately, he couldn't deny that he wasn't expecting it.
"I've known for a while now, but with everything that's been going on lately…" She hoped that look would tell the words she couldn't get out of her throat. Rick still didn't feel like enough of a memory to slip out of her mouth so casually. "I think we're ready."
Darren first gulped, like if he was digesting the entire conversation along with his spit. Then, he smiled pleasantly, leaning to her cheek to place a gentle kiss.
"Don't make fun of me for this, but I have to confess something." He said quietly. "It's actually my first time, too."
Lauren pushed him with a hand, claiming offended, "Shut up! You're ruining everything."
"I swear it's true!" Darren attempted to continue with the joke, but Lauren started splashing him with water until he had no choice but to retire his word.
It was getting dark when they went back with the rest. The hamburgers were either delicious or they were starving enough to find them that way, but the point was that Brian almost got a standing ovation from being the chef that night. Once they finished eating and the chat was becoming vague for everyone to follow, John convinced them to play a round of the drinking version of Who am I? so after he found the marker he was sure he put in his bag, and they found an old diary under the barbecue, they headed to the hill and sat near the edges to enjoy the priceless view of the night by the sea.
"The best thing about all of this, is that Darren doesn't have his guitar to bother us for the entire night." Joe planked his hands together in a sign that thank any deity responsible of that.
"Stop hiding the fact that you love it." Darren's hand pushed his head in revenge.
The round didn't finish that quickly though. By the end, a completely offended (and drunk) Brian gave up his turn because it was just impossible to guess and they had to be messing with him when –ugh, Clark Kent –but I said Superman! They're the same person! They're the fucking same!, and Jim and Jeff went to put him to sleep against his will. John announced he was going for a walk and/or see if there were any leftovers he could steal.
Darren grabbed the paper on his forehead and read with a mix of confusion and surprise:
"Beyoncé." He sighed and rolled his eyes, "I'd have never figured that out whatsoever."
Lauren giggled. Fortunately, she guessed she was Charles Chaplin almost right away and ended the round with decency.
Since Joe discovered skillfully that he was Alex DeLarge, he had spent the last minutes alone by the very edge of the hill, staring into the peaceful darkness in what Lauren thought it was a worrying isolation, but she didn't confirm it until Rachel came back after sharing a short, private conversation with him, and said to Darren in a bitter voice, taking a seat on the ground:
"It's about Rick."
That was a short message Darren decoded very quickly. He looked at Lauren for a moment, pressing his lips together.
"I'll go talk to him."
"Okay."
She looked at Lauren for a moment, too. Rachel's eyes had the same effect on people than Darren's, while they were deep and beautiful, they felt too powerful to stare back, like if they could peer inside you if you accidentally let them in. Deep down she knew this was a completely psychological trick the two had managed to achieve, but that didn't weaken the result.
"Thank you." Her voice almost made her jump, because she was a) not expecting her to say something until Darren came back and b) she was keeping another conversation with herself in her head. She continued, as Lauren's face let clear she wasn't getting it, "For what you're doing for us. You know, you could've turned all of this down, since you had no personal motives to do it. But you did it."
Lauren felt out of words.
"It's nothing." She simply let out, although everyone knew it wasn't nothing, and it could not be.
"Also… thank you for taking care of Darren, too." She continued, like if she hadn't said a thing. "If it's been as bad for him as it's been for me, which I think it has, then it must've been hard for you to stay by his side."
"It's been nothing out of the expected for someone in his situation." Lauren merely said, doubting if the things she saw and heard could be shared with Rachel, or anyone. "What about you? Do you have someone to talk to?"
Rachel grinned mildly, which was something strange for that kind of question, and especially with the answer that came along.
"I've got my boys. We all got each other's backs, you know? I would've lost my mind otherwise, but thank God I have them around."
"I can imagine." She replied, although she wasn't sure she could. She have had friends, of course, but not someone she could rely on to the point of not feeling she was entirely alone whenever someone left. "I've lost people that were close to me, too, but never like this. I mean, in any other situation, you've got time to process what's going to happen."
Rachel's voice came out extremely miserable, though steady, "It just feels like if he abandoned me, you know? I know it's selfish and stupid to think so, but that's how I feel."
There was a long pause before Lauren said gently, not knowing nothing else that could fit:
"I am very sorry."
Another long pause, but this time with no reply to interrupt it.
A few feet away, another silence coming to an end.
"I just miss him." Joe's voice sounded like the aftereffect of alcohol, midnight and a long tiring trip.
"I know." Darren let out a breath, the wind hitting him harder there right on the edge. "Me too."
"What upsets me the most is that he was chosen almost out of a lottery, just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he decided to punch that guy when it's just –he never did those kind of things. And they picked him when it should've been absolutely anyone else but him. They should've gotten even with someone like you and me, who've done fucked up shit in the past and know what they got themselves into. Not someone like Rick, who was only in there because I happened to like him and decided to drag him with us. He had no idea he could end up like this, but we did."
The verbiage came out like vomit, in a spasm that had been sickening his guts. Any other person would've been astonished or even frightened of hearing him talking like that, but Darren had seen that and worse.
"See it like this: sometime, we will look back and know that we didn't just do anything. We didn't stay in our beds crying, letting the responsible people get on with their lives like if they hadn't done something condemnable. At least we'll make sure that there won't be other deaths like Rick's in the future. Not by them."
"That's the only comforting thought getting me through, actually." Joe said, and then rested his back on the ground, lying back, like if he just decided it was a good time to see the stars in the night sky.
Darren didn't say anything else, because he knew that what he wanted out was out now, and that Joe just wished for silence and rest afterwards.
He turned around to find Rachel and Lauren in another depressing silence, and he and Rachel a look that said it all before the night had gone to shit.
"Jo, we should go for a walk, too." Rachel suggested, gazing at Darren and Lauren, then patting Joe's shoulder. "Let's get going."
Joe didn't leave without grabbing the bottle of beer with a slap of his hand.
Lauren looked at him in a tacit interrogatory.
"At least we can talk about it now." He just said. "It's healthier than silence."
Lauren sighed. "It's ironic to hear the word healthy involved in all of this, but I'm glad."
Darren grinned. "Come here." He called.
He could barely see Lauren's figure when she sat by his side, there, in what it looked like the end of the world. His legs were hanging into what felt like endless space, until his head slanted a bit forwards and he could confirm that the sea was right there underneath them, waves crashing stridently against the bottom of the hill. Lauren felt a little overwhelmed at first by the terrifying and strong sensation of the wind against her face and body to the point of pushing her, like if it was trying to warn her that it was a dangerous place to choose to sit down and rest, but following the instinct of all human condition, she faced the terror and decided that the feeling of fronting it with someone else was worth it.
Darren let the silence sink in a bit before interrupting it.
"Do you still think that road trips are lame?"
"I might be reconsidering it." Lauren answered with a smile. "But seriously, this place is amazing. I actually barely feel sorry for the owners that we leave a mess in here once we're gone."
Darren nodded and patted her on the lap. "Look at yourself, prioritizing your happiness over strange people's for once. What have I done to you?"
Lauren squeezed her eyes, "Shut up. I've never needed it to be a priority."
Her leg crept until it hung next to Darren's, inevitably moving in a constant, calm swing. She looked down to the waves furiously crashing beneath, until the sensation of vertigo vanished and it was nothing more than water trying to climb up, unable to catch her. And she knew already that when she looked up at Darren's eyes, everything would just come out as violent as those waves, without a chance to avoid it, because it was late, and they had spent way too much time together, away from home, to hold onto any barrier that had been destroyed from the core, like fear or embarrassment or the sensation that the other would just never understand.
"Have you ever read Antony and Cleopatra? By Shakespeare?" She finally asked, softly, and he tilted his head at first.
Then he hissed quietly in a moment of hesitation before answering, "I think I did, a long while ago. Why?"
He'd never expect the answer she gave. Then again, he never expected any of the things she offered him, and they just fell onto him like mail packages without directions.
"I'm Antony, you know?"
"What?" Darren even thought it'd be a joke before she explained it, but her explanation hit him violently.
"Antony couldn't be a king in Rome, so he became one in Egypt. He abandoned all of his ideals and his people hated him forever for becoming a traitor. I'm like Antony. I don't think I could ever completely fit in in those upper side parties. Talking to those people overwhelms me, and sometimes I think I'll throw up if I drink wine again. And then I entered into your world, changing everything I thought I was and becoming a traitor for both sides. I think about it all the time. My mistakes, what's right or wrong, trying to determine who I am, but I end up so lost I don't think I know anything about myself anymore. I'm so heavy, if I jumped I'd drown."
Her tone was bitter, and he knew since the start that those weren't mere late-night thoughts, those were the fears and daemons that had been growing deep inside of her since she was little, and that it wasn't casual that she chose him to let them out.
Lauren waited for anything to come out after that long pause, except the words that actually were emitted out of Darren's mouth.
"Take off your shoe."
An eyebrow raised in apathy said enough, but even then she felt the need to add, "What?"
Seeing that she wasn't taking his orders, he proceeded to untie the shoe at his reach, and then threw it to aside.
"What the hell are you doing?" Lauren could only ask by the time he was grabbing the marker they had brought there for the game, and then sat down in front of her, legs crossed, and started to write something in her now bare feet. The apparent logic in this action didn't hit her, not even when she could read that he was writing his full name, then his address and it started to seem he wouldn't stop when he added his phone number.
She looked at him with an expression that didn't need words to leave clear an explanation was necessary.
"Do you know how people how people return wandering dogs?" He finally said, sort of disappointed that it wasn't obvious.
"So you're comparing me to a dog, that's uplifting."
He giggled shortly, "No." He said, and his voice sounded incredibly gentle when he added, "If you're lost, I'll accept you. Always."
She closed her eyes when she sensed Darren's hand on her neck. And the kiss following ahead felt almost like a hug, his lips embracing her and everything she carried inside. And she almost didn't feel heavy, she didn't feel like world crushing Atlas' back, but instead like if for a moment she was light as a feather and someone could hold her in the tip of a finger, and she balanced there in a graceful trick.
She didn't stop kissing him when she went out of breath, her hands still pulling him closer, fearing he'd disappear the moment their lips split. She wanted to say thank you, for listening and understanding, for trying to understand when she knew he could not, and mostly, for staying.
Lauren was almost surprised to find him there when she opened her eyes, breathing heavily and gulping slowly.
"There is not a way we can get an actual tent tonight?"
"What for?" Darren frowned at the question, and his eyes widened as he added, "Are you suggesting…?" Lauren's silence was enough of an answer. "With everyone here?"
It surely wasn't an issue for him, but he couldn't just buy it that the idea was actually coming from her lips.
Lauren looked around, "Don't you think it'd be perfect?"
She had never felt so close to anybody, and she feared this wouldn't last and that the most flawless opportunity had passed right next to them.
Darren's heart was pounding so loud he almost had to raise his voice to say, "If I can put the beach tent away from everyone else's, I'm sure they wouldn't notice anything. Besides, I think they're all asleep."
Lauren smiled and he would just not believe it yet, "Sounds perfect."
It didn't take long after Darren came back from the barbecue place until Lauren decided to help him with the tent. It seemed like an impossible task, when -without recalling how- they assembled the whole thing.
"Can you tell our parents didn't camp with us?" Darren rolled his eyes, getting the thin foam mattress, blanket and pillow he was able to steal inside of the tent, throwing it in a mess Lauren stared at before fixing.
Once the work was done, they sat at the edge of the mattress to catch a breath. The tent's door was facing the sea, that way the wind would reach them even if they were inside. Like it was doing right then, whizzing lowly over the sound of the water crashing down.
The anxiety and awkwardness was starting to reach them once they finished resting and they started to think about what was supposed to go next.
"Are you sure about this?"
Darren was one hundred percent sure it was all a cruel dream, and he was about to wake up at any minute.
"I've already said to you that I am. I've known for a long while that I want to do this with you." She looked at him firmly. The implications of that conversation for a good part did nothing but increase the anxiety that was stressing the air between them, but for another great part they were just pushing her forward and forward, the excitement hiding under her tongue. "I want you."
Darren was sure something inside him, among his stomach and his throat, melt when he heard that; not deciding to kiss her but doing it out of desperation, because he had been wishing to hear that, to know that, for so fucking long that he couldn't recall in his memory the first time. And this time he didn't try to control his yearning, he let it out against her lips the way one throw themselves to the bed after a long day of work.
Lauren's hands slipped from his belly to the sides of his back, grasping strong enough to allow herself a peaceful landing as Darren leaned against her until she ended up lying on the mattress. He didn't stop kissing her, not only for a second, until their mouths went dry and desperate for air. He settled himself on top of her, his legs around her hips, and she felt him strangely tall once he straightened his back and looked at her from a higher distance.
His arms flexed when his hands looked for the neck on the back of his shirt, and he took it off with a quick movement. He wasn't extremely fit, not really. But he was plenty enough to the point of looking better without a shirt than with it, muscles hardening under her fingers as he bent down and his lips closed on the prominent bone of her cheek. Another kiss followed under the line of her jaw, then to her neck, and collarbone. A hand she didn't stop slowly reached her waist, up to her ribs, lifting her shirt, and the warm feeling of skin-to-skin finally finding a place inside her to grow until exhaustion.
To Darren's surprise, she grabbed the tank top at the other side and pulled from it to get it off. She wanted to feel it completely, the sensation of being naked in front of someone, to know that vulnerability wasn't an issue anymore. Once the shirt wasn't an annoyance, a hand held the curve of her neck as those open-mouthed, wet kisses resumed in the exact center of her collarbone, slowly sneaking downer to her chest, between her breasts. Air came out of her mouth very loudly, realizing this was a sensitive spot. Darren realized too, and he delayed his time in there for a while, sucking her skin like if this was made of sugar that melted against his tongue. Her torso shifted a little bit, only a little bit, not enough to be visible, but he noticed and everything inside him was shaking because this wasn't a figment of his imagination, it was real and she had said she wanted him and this was happening.
His mouth leaved a path through her belly, right until the lowest part, above the buttons of her shorts. His hands held the sides of her completely flat belly, enjoying the feeling caused by the way it moved up and down along her breath, and how deep it was while she tried to control herself from his touch. He just did that for a while, his face resting on the upper part of her pelvis and sensing the steady movement up and down. It wasn't an erotic touch, not that one, but it was close and she was too anxious to stand it any longer, she wanted to press herself against him and she wasn't sure if even that'd be enough.
When he finally looked up, there was a mark of her jeans' button on his cheek that she had to ignore to avoid laughing. Two fingers circled around that button when he asked quietly:
"Can I?"
"Let me," She replied, sitting up. She wasn't sure she could handle the amount of teasing she was sure Darren would seize while taking off her short jeans, so she did it herself.
She breathed deeply once she was only in her underwear, and looking at him in such a way that yielded up a bit of fear, but mostly anxiety and desire. Darren held her jaw as he gave her a kiss and said softly against her lips:
"You know you can tell me to stop if you want, right?"
"I doubt that'll happen." Lauren said with a small grin. "At least, popular belief is on your side."
Darren raised an eyebrow, "Popular belief?"
"I'm just kidding." She cleared, and added playfully, "Besides, you've been keeping yourself for me for so long…"
She kissed him briefly before he cut it with a breath.
"Still worth it." He gulped slowly, yet close to her face, like if saying the next was harder even for him, "I'm gonna… prepare you a bit, if that's alright with you. Just lie down, and tell me if anything's wrong."
Lauren couldn't tell if he was more nervous than her, or if that was just the attempt of self-control tautening his voice that much. So she only ran a hand through his hair in a soft caress, smiling mildly.
"Okay."
The wind tossed her hair as she lied down again, suddenly remembering they were on the beach, and the sight of the water, always incessant and steadfast, calmed any possible concert almost instantly.
A gasp brought her attention back to the tent, when a kiss was placed on the top of her underwear, Darren's hair giving her tickles on her belly as he continued to kiss her downer, but softly, over the thin cloth. His hands pushed gently her inner thighs to the sides, making her legs spread wider and he left them there, holding her legs on their place while he kept sucking, and even like that she could already feel something inside tightening. It was achingly not enough.
Her heart was racing when her back arched and she thrust against his mouth. She realized this was the moment when she started to lose control over herself, it was pure instincts and sensations talking through her and she had to let them guide her. That was the whole point, this was something she didn't need to control and she didn't need to think through.
Darren didn't make her beg, he noticed in her entire body that she wanted more and he wasn't going to deny it to her. His hands ran teasingly over her legs as the underwear got off the way, almost in a slow torture of anticipation.
The first unintelligible sound came out from her throat as Darren plunged his head between her legs and sucked her slowly and for a long time. It seemed like if he was testing her out, trying out a faster rhythm and then gradually decreasing again, finding out which spots relaxed her, which ones tightened her harder and made her breath go crazy. A hand clutched into his hair while she pressed her head into the pillow, her jaw had dropped to leave the exceeding amount of air in her mouth out, and she couldn't find a way to close it, becoming louder instead.
"God," She groaned, the words coming out forcibly through pressed teeth, "Darren, shit."
Those curses seemed to be nothing more but music to his ears, so he continued sucking, like if he wanted to draw a doodle with his tongue over her. He dragged her right where he wanted her before slipping a finger inside that fit just readily, and kept going until the curses became moans and his name being abruptly hurled in almost a scream, sensations winning ahead of logic as control was nothing besides a rhetoric subject they studied in class; a hand over her ribcage, feeling the way it swell along her breath, every time faster and deeper like the waves crushing against the hills beside them, and when her voice broke completely in the middle of a warning that was everything except a warning, he knew he was the one that fully lost it out of the two.
She burst out in a mild whimper that shook vocal chords, legs trembling slightly and fingers accidentally pulling from the tip of a curl. Another hand falling, exhausted, to a side, fingertips sensing the grains of sand underneath.
Darren sat up straight and looked at her, intensely and for a while, like if he wanted to engrave that moment as a memory inside of him and recall it every time he wished. There was not a part of him that didn't want her to the point of absolute despair.
Lauren didn't even finish catching her breath back before Darren had unbuttoned his jeans, pulled them down in an abrupt swipe and gotten on top of hers in a movement that gave away the longing he had been so careful to hide. He let his weight fall on her, pressing against her so all of sudden that her chest jumped at the unexpected contact. Her leg wrapped almost instantly around him to keep him like that, deeply intimate, his eyes staring at her so vividly that looking away would've been a sin.
He felt an instant, though momentary relief so intense that he just remained like that for a while. Feeling her still throbbing, even through his underwear, it a was delightfully tempting ease.
"I've wanted this since the moment I met you," His voice was hoarse and low and she didn't have to wonder why. "But, you know, we don't have to do everything tonight."
"Fucking hell," Lauren snapped in exasperation, "Would you just get in, Darren? I think I'm going to pass out if you wait another minute."
A few black curls grazed her forehead as his head fell a bit downer when he laughed.
He groped for his wallet in the pocket of his jeans, pulled out a condom, and Lauren almost tried not to stare when he said:
"If you're thinking that this will make me nervous, I gotta warn you that I've got nothing to be ashamed of."
Lauren laughed briefly, glad to see more of the Darren she was used to. But she wasn't laughing when his body was above her again, her grin fading into Darren's lips as she kissed him back into a soft kiss that gradually slowed down until it became nothing more than a graze, eyes almost closed, breaths deep and controlled falling against one another until the silence was broken by a quiet question they were both waiting for:
"Ready?"
A short nod before the question was answered out of everything except fear, "Yes."
An increasing weight fell on her belly. Darren was being careful and patient, but the sensation longed before it became pleasant, working it through a slight ache until it was gone, and then everything felt right in all the right places.
"You okay?"
She wanted to clear out the concern in his voice, to know reliably that she wasn't the only one losing herself to senses.
She nodded, again, as a hand caressed his hair, resting there for a bit before it slid to the side of his face, "Go on."
Darren's weight was leaning into nothing more but his forearms around Lauren's body and the constant friction of his belly against hers. A quiet groan sneaked out of him as the sensation of her around him sink in and completely consumed him for an instant; Lauren thought this sound was the most erotic thing out of everything. He kissed her hand as she placed it on his cheek, then leaned over to kiss her lips, trying to distract himself with any other feeling that would stint the absolutely delicious thrill that she was causing on him. So when he started moving, he did it slowly, every one of his movements carefully thought out.
"Mmm," Lauren hid her lips inside before a breath of longing was violently thrown out, breaking the calmness in the air, "Harder."
He wanted to do as he asked her and so much more, and he didn't want to get so carried away but the simple sound of that wish was much more than what he could handle. So he lunged within her, his lips crashing over and over against her jaw because her head was pressed so hardly against the pillow in a way that the curve of her neck looked like the perfect invitation. She moaned again when Darren's hand sneaked under her neck and held it strongly, almost roughly, as he moved nonstop, his weight harder and harder on her; not only different than before, more stern, possessive and almost angry. In that moment it was more than clear for her how he had been holding himself, not only the entire night, but since months ago; and just right then she was finally taking it all in, with his callused fingertips clutching her skin, and the panting becoming loud and desperate in a sexual melody, those luscious onslaughts turning rough and hard until she became a piece of melting skin that couldn't spell her own name even if she tried.
"Fuck. Lauren," His rhythm had become a touch slower, but he didn't stop. "I'm close to…" The words were cut off by a quiet moan, his eyes were barely opened
"Okay." That was everything her mind or lungs allowed her to let out.
Darren frowned for a fraction of second before an unexpected laugh shook him, "Okay? That's really what you say before someone…"
He couldn't have finished the phrase even if he knew what to say, when the climax hit him and he poured inside with few last, lonely, hard thrusts, and a loud, breathy pant reaching her ear as his forehead fell next to her face, sinking in her hair. Lauren bit her lip, eyes closed, as a sudden feeling of relax invaded her so fast it was worrying.
They didn't move for a while. Lauren opened her eyes only a bit to observe the sea next to them, like their quiet spectator. Darren was still catching a breath, his hand now loose under her neck, a thumb caressing it softly, when he said it and it almost didn't feel real.
"I've actually fallen for you." And he said it with a cruel certitude, like if the idea had been gravitating around him until it finally decided to settle down surefooted. "Like… I love you." A pause before concluding a baffling, "I don't know how that happened."
It was kinda funny how much of a death warrant that sounded, like if there was nothing worse he could confess than the fact that he had developed actual feelings for her. So she just smiled and gave him a sweet peck on the lips, hoping this would tell more than what she was capable of in that state of physical and emotional exhaustion.
Lauren felt some perfect mix of happiness and sleepiness, when Darren fell next to her along with a breath that confirmed he was just as tired as her. Her eyes were almost closed when the comforting feeling of a blanket covering them practically made her purr. She couldn't recall to have ever felt this peaceful in her entire life. She almost hated that Darren felt the need to ask:
"Are you okay?" She'd have hated it if his soft voice wasn't escorted by a hand around her belly. "I didn't hurt you, didn't I?"
She made an effort to open her eyes again, quickly finding his staring back. She subtly shifted closer, which wasn't a difficult move in that tent.
"I'm great, trust me." Lauren's voice was hoarse, too. "How was I? Honestly."
Darren's first reaction was an impressing, "Amazing." Then he rolled his eyes "A bit bossy," he admitted, only to add with a smirk, "but I like that."
One last laugh mildly reached her before her eyes were closed again, falling asleep at the comforting feeling of Darren's proximity. The approaching morning was bringing a colder wind, and the tidal wave was coming closer to them. The nature felt suddenly very alive, staring at them, peering sneakily through their door-less tent.
At some moment amongst that, Darren fell asleep, too. The tidal wave wouldn't reach them, and there were still a few hours until the sun came up.
A/N: If you leaved reviews… I DEEPLY LOVE YOU and they helped me to keep going, thank you so much! If you haven't, here's your chance to think it through because they're seriously a big support, especially when it comes to chapter like these that cost a BIG effort. I promise i will love you if you do.
I SUCK AT FLUFF SORRY, I tried to make that work. Pls love me i'm a needy person -Natt.