A/N: Well, here is the next chapter for my lovely and faithful readers! There is a little bit LxLight in this chapter, but don't worry! L belongs to Beyond in this story. Thanks to everyone who has been reading so far and for being patient when I'm really late! ENJOY!

That morning, I knew that things were completely ruined.

"Ryuzaki! What the Hell did you do to your arms?! Why are you out here when you're supposed to be monitoring me, huh?"

I opened my eyes and sat up quickly. Light was holding me by the wrists, looking at the scratches and the cut that Beyond had made last night. Well, wasn't this wonderful?

"Ryuzaki, answer me! Are you really so depressed that you'll go this far?!"

I flinched. What was that… look in his eyes? He seemed concerned… No. It was all an act. It had to be. "Light-kun, please do not act as if you are concerned about my health. It only leads me to believe that you truly are Kira and you are only pretending so that you may get closer to me. It is now up to 10%."

"That's bullshit and you know it! First of all, there is no way it's barely at a 10%. Chances are, it's already up to maybe 98%! Second of all, I'm just worried, you idiot! Now tell me what happened!"

"Beyond Birthday, the person I once believed to be dead, has come back using some sort of power that only a shinigami could possess. He comes here sometimes to torture me and fill my sick, masochistic needs."

Light just stared at me like I grew an extra head and then proceeded to yell, once again. "Damnit, L! Stop lying for at least 5 minutes and tell me why you have cuts on your wrists!"

I knew he wouldn't believe me if I had told him the truth… I took a deep breath, let it out, and lied easily. "Well, Light-kun, it's as you've stated. I am simply that depressed."

"You're not going to… kill yourself or anything, are you?"

"Of course not, Light. I am simply feeling down." I thought of some of the victims that I'd had to work with in the past. What would they have said…?

"But why? Why would you turn to that?"

What would they say….. "Light-kun… I… do it because the… physical pain that I receive while making the cuts… is enough for me to ignore or even deal with any emotional pain that I may be feeling at the moment."

"L…"

I said nothing after that. His facial expression… Perhaps he truly was concerned about my well-being. His eyes… They were no longer the eyes of a killer. I was confused. He had to be Kira. But… I was not so sure, anymore.

"L, I..." he seemed to be at a loss for words.

I was shocked when I suddenly felt him pulling me closer to him. He wasn't going to harm me now, was he? Of course he was. What else would Kira have done at this point? No... I only wanted Beyond to do such a thing. Maybe I needed to rethink that because I am quite sure that to anyone else, that sounded insane. I flinched and pulled away.

"L, I'm not going to hurt you. Please, don't shy away like an abused pet."

Was that what I was doing? I looked down at my lap and muttered, "Alright." He pulled me in again. He was... hugging me? Then I knew that I was right about him... I just was not sure if this was something I wanted to accept...

Light... he was attracted to me... In fact, he was probably "in love" with me. No, there was no doubt about it. Light Yagami was in love with me. But it is not like I was capable of returning such feelings. I wasn't even returning the hug. I wonder why he was being so... what would the word be? Hmn... "soft"? No... "Gentle". He was being gentle, but why?

My only real relationship with anyone, ever was with Beyond Birthday. That includes friendships. What? It's not as if I ever tell the truth when I talk to Light, anymore. I simply cannot trust him. Do you expect me to truly see someone like him as a friend? I have no problems with lying to him. Although, I did feel a tad bit guilty, seeing how things were right now.

Beyond and I had a rather... sadistic and masochistic relationship, even when we were back at Wammy's. I... suppose I should not assume that such acts are normal... However, I did. But Light was being nothing but gentle... He was actually just holding me...

Why was I perfectly capable of analyzing this and even having possible second thoughts NOW, but I could not do so when I was around Beyond Birthday? Did love really make people so irrational and foolish? Letting your lover harm you could not be considered "normal", right?

I was not attrated to Light in that way, but I was a tad bit curious. What if I had fallen in love with someone who did not harm me to show their love? What if I were to do romantic acts with someone who didn't need to cut my wrists or bite me until I bled? What if I loved someone who was gentle and more... kind? Perhaps what I was about to do was an idiotic move, but I had to test this... What it felt like...

So, obviously without thinking, I pulled away just a little and looked into Light's eyes before pressing my lips against his. They were warm and soft... It did not take him long to kiss me back. It felt different... It felt like... Well, nothing. When I kissed Beyond, I actually felt something. I felt loved and I felt safe and... happy, even. I felt like this, even if I was in pain.

With Light, this was merely skin contact. This was not something that I wanted. I wanted Beyond and everything that came with him. This was nothing like that and it certainly did not compare.

I pulled away, feeling rather disgusted and ashamed of myself. Light was blushing and looked rather puzzled.

"...L...?"

"..."

"L... Please, say something. I'm really sorry! I... I..."

"Light-kun, please do not apologize to me. I am the one who initiated the kiss. I, however, am very sorry."

"Huh?"

I saw Beyond close behind him, glaring at me but didn't dare to look at him directly. Instead, I continued to look Light in the eyes. Why was Beyond keeping that much distance when he clearly wanted to grab Light by the throat and... Well, you get my point.

"I am not... in the right state of mind right now. I was not thinking straight when I initiated such a thing. I am sorry for doing such a thing, for I am not attracted to you in that way. Please forgive my foolish behavior." I think I was talking to Beyond as well as Light.

Light's shoulders sagged and he looked hurt. "Oh..." Then he smiled at me and said, "It's no big deal, Ryuzaki." I could see in his eyes that he was lying. "I'm not really... into guys anyways, so that's okay. Let's just forget that this ever happened, okay?"

I nodded. He seemed to be used to sheilding himself and lying easily to people... 99%... no, maybe it was a 98.5%... yes...

...

Well, by 12:00, everyone in the task force seemed to be more quiet than usual. Even Matsuda was not pestering me with useless banter. Something had to be wrong. I put the plate that I had been holding that had a now half eaten slice of cheese cake on it. I stood up and looked around at the members of the task force. Light looked up at me, cautiously. The cuff on my wrist pulled my arm a little to my left where Light was still sitting as I faced everyone in the room. It rubbed up against my cut painfully, making me wince.

"It has come to my attention that everyone is behaving differently today. Why is this? What has occured that has you all so quiet?"

Everyone was completely silent for a moment. Then Matsuda spoke up.

"W-we're uh... really sorry, Ryuzaki..."

"For what, exactly?"

Soichiro stood up and looked at me. He seemed confused and almost angry. What exactly did I do? Was it possibly something I said?

"Mat-Matsuda was... In the surveillance room this morning... And, well... He informed us that... Well, he alerted me that... you and Light were... Er... well..."

Damn it! Matsuda, you idiot! Why did you have to go and-

"Damn it, Matsuda, you idiot! Why did you have to go and do that?" Light said, sounding irritated, yet managing to keep his voice somewhat calm. Then he stood up. Matsuda flinched. "Look, I promise you guys that it is not what it looks like."

"I know, Light." Soichiro replied. "Look, I came into the surveillance room and... watched the footage from this morning... And... I am sorry, but I had to imform Watari and the rest of the members of the task force as well."

I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. That's why B was keeping his distance... damn cameras... Watari... The only time I ever lied to him was when it came to B.B. Watari already believed that I had a history of harming myself... I already knew he'd be angry, now. Why, now? I felt like I was going to be sick.

As if on cue, Watari walked in. He looked at me like he was just dissapointed in me. I looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Ryuzaki," he said. "I am sorry, but we cannot allow you to be alone anymore. Light is no longer the only person who needs to be watched. If we are not around, he will be monitoring you."

No. If that happened, I wouldn't be able to see B again... No. I would not allow it.

"Yeah, we're just worried about you, Ryuzaki," Matsuda said. "So, we're just making sure you'll be oka-"

"Shut up, Matsuda," I interrupted him.

"Huh? Y-yes, sir..."

When did he start calling me sir? Damn it, he was just "being careful", wasn't he?! "I have had enough for the day." I said. "All of you, get back to work, now!" I couldn't believe it, but I was shouting. "Anyone who says or does otherwise will be forced out of here until I allow them in."

Everyone was still and silent. I turned around and typed a few things into the keyboard attached to the surveillance cameras. Without anyone knowing, I disabled the cameras connected to our bedroom and put a lock on them so that even Watari could not get through. Was this unnecessary and childish? Of course. But, I am L. I would not have it any other way. I made sure that none of the cameras were connected, even to Watari's surveillance room. I felt Light tense up beside me. He knew what I was doing. But strangely, he said nothing.

"Light, I apologize in advance, but I am afraid that I must drag you along with me."

I headed over to the floor that Light and I were living in. The walk there was silent.

...

When we got there, I unlocked the handcuffs and locked the two of us into the living room area that was connected to the bedroom. "Say nothing about this. I am going to the restroom. Stay. Here."

Light nodded nervously, but said nothing in response. He looked scared, even worried.

I sighed. "If I promise that I won't harm myself, will you relax?" He nodded. "You have my word." Of course, that probably didn't do much since I often lied to him, anyways. He did seem to relax, though.

I went into to bedroom and then into the bathroom connected to that. I locked the door behind me and proceeded to undress. Then, I climbed into the tub and turned the water on. I relaxed, feeling the warm water as it slowly filled up.

I leaned my head back and sighed, closing my eyes. "Hnn... Beyond..."

"You called?" This time, I was not as startled when I heard him. I self conciously brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "Oh, covering up? As if there's anything I haven't already seen."

I felt my face get hot. He sounded angry with me. I understood, of course. I kissed another man and he had every right to be angry with me. I sat there in silence for a while longer. When the tub was filled enough, I heard the water being shut off. I kept my eyes closed.

Suddenly, I felt someone coming into the tub. That made me open my eyes. I saw Beyond sitting in the same postion as me, right across from me. Was he not wearing clothes this whole time? I felt myself blushing even deeper as I tried to keep my eyes focused on his face. But, I couldn't... I couldn't help but look... His pale skin and slim frame... Athough we looked alike, he did have more muscles than I possessed. His arms were slightly muscular and his chest...

No no no no no. I had to stop this at once.

"Why?!" he hissed, making me flinch. "Why did you kiss that foul, pathetic, arrogant, disgusting excuse for a human being, Lawliet! You're mine."

"Beyond... I..."

"Is there suddenly something wrong with me?" His eyes were black and all I saw in them was anger and pain. "What on Earth could a disgusting little rat have that I myself do not posses?"

"..."

"Well?! What does he possess that I do not have, myself?!" he was shouting at me. I had never seen him like this since our days at the orphanage. Why did he always have to bring up such unwanted memories...

"Answer me, Lawliet!"

"Nothing, Beyond! He has nothing special and you are well aware of that! I... I was curious, alright? I'm sorry..."

Then B caught me by surprise by moving my legs down and sitting on my lap... I tried with all the power I had in me to control myself. He kissed me so forcefully, I felt (and heard) the back of my skull hit the tub painfully. I desperately kissed back, not caring for a moment if this was surrendering to him. I wanted more of this feeling. Without thinking about it, I ground our hips together and bit back a moan. He broke away from me, pinning me against the wall of the tub, still sitting on my lap.

"You belong to me, got it?" I nodded weakly, looking up at him through half lidded eyes. "I love you," he said.

"I... I love you, too."

"Good," he grinned sadistically, his eyes flashing red. "Because I'm not giving you anything more than that kiss for another week."

"W-what?"

"Oh? Is something wrong? Did Lawlipop want to make love? Is that it?" He sneered. I looked away, unable to lie to him and say no. "Hmmn, maybe another time, Lawli-chan-"

"I-I said... Not to call me that...!"

"Yes, you did... But I am still rather angry with you for kissing another man." And just like that, he'd already dissappeared.

I honestly did not know what I was doing anymore.

A/N: Okay, so I was really exhausted when writing this... That's my crappy excuse. I'm considering adding a lemon to this, but I'm not so sure if I should... If not, well, I'll probably do a one shot lemon later along the way. With that in mind, I'm wondering if I really wanna have to up the rating to M... Well, I don't know. You guys let me know what you think I should do, alright? Thanks for reading!

Ja ne!