A/N: Even though it's kinda late, Happy New Years you guys! :D Sorry I haven't been updating but here's the next chapter, FINALLY! It's not much, but it's better than nothing, right? B won't appear for quit a while, at the very least, a few chapters. So... sorry. Of course, he won't show up until the Kira Case is solved right? So it'll take a little while... Anywho... Enjoy!

I must admit that my resolve to catch Kira wavered from time to time. I was trying to build my walls back up, but it was proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Afer B came back, the barrier I normally was able to put up around myself to keep others out and my emotions closed started to crumble. I went from a huge pretective wall to a small chain-link fence. And although it was still something difficult to come to terms with, I missed B. Hiding these emotions was now... rather difficult.

"Ryuzaki, how are you doing today?" Light asked as I sat down in front of my laptop.

"Hm?" I said. "I am fine. Why do you ask, Light-kun?"

"... Just checking is all."

"Hmn, yes. Now please get back to work, Light-kun. Catching Kira is of utmost importance."

"I thought you said that there was no point," Light said. Light sat back lazily and ran a hand through his hair. "I fact, I don't feel like working today since there'e no point anyways."

"Excuse me?" I said, giving him a look. "Then you can leave. What is the point in joining this investigation if you do not intend on doing any more than just sitting around, hm? Get back to work, Yagami-san. Start taking this seriously."

"But why, L? You said it yourself. There's no point. We're only putting our lives in danger by constantly chasing Kira. Right?"
I noticed that the entire room went silent- as if they were all expecting me to just agree with Light. I looked into his eyes... That expression... He was testing me, no doubt about it. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do not be ridiculous, Light-kun," I said. "I was under the assumption that we all knew what we were putting ourselves into when we chose to do this case? Regardless of what I once said, Kira is still our top priority. We cannot put off catching him when so many lives are in danger. Now get back to work."

Light smiled. Everyone else in the room went back to working and talking amongst each other. "Glad to have you back, L," Light said, softly so only the two of us were able to hear him. I turned back to my screen and started observing casualties, trying to find a link. But... I kept on coming up with nothing. This was getting rather frustrating at some point.

Needless to say, it was a rather uneventful day.

By that night, I was starting to feel a bit of anxiety. I decided to use my laptop to try and investigate things even further. I was awake for hours. I was used to this, however, so it was no big deal for me. After a while, I heard a soft groan. I looked over at Light to see him rolling over to face me. He lazily opened his eyes, blinking a few times because of the light from my laptop. He yawned.

"Mmnnn... Ryuzaki?" he said, sleepily. I placed my thumb to my bottom lip, wondering why he didn't just fall back asleep.

"Yes, Light-kun?" I asked.

"What... time is it?"

"Hmm..." I hummed as I looked at th time on the corner of the screen. I looked back at Lightand answered. "Right now, it is 3:51 am."

"Should you really be awake at this time?"

"Well, should I not? I mean, in America, it is 11:51 pm. In England, it is 8:51 pm. In Africa-"

"I don't care what time it is everywhere else, Ryuzaki. It's 3:51 am in Japan and that's where we are right now. Japan. So get some sleep."

"It is technically the morning though, Raito-kun. It is generally believed that people should be awake in the morning."

"Stop being a smart ass, Ryuzaki."

"My arse is smart?" I grinned.

"Are you... actually making a joke?"

"Hmm, perhaps."

"It's a miracle. Now go to sleep."

"I do not require sleep."

Light sat up and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Look. I'm glad that you've got your motivation back and all, but you shouldn't push yourself.

"Sleep."

"Justice never sleeps."

"But I'm pretty sure that every once in a while, Kira does."

I said nothing.

"Fine," Light scooted over so that he was sitting rather close to me. Then he leaned his head on my shoulder. It was rather... awkward.

"Light-kun, what are you doing?" I asked. "I believe we made it clear that I do not harbour the same emotions towards you..."

"I know," he replied tiredly. "But you're always working so hard... You're awake when no one else is. Don't you ever get lonely? And don't give some smart assed reply or something about how you don't need companionship or whatever. Because, judging by how you've been acting, that's a lie."

"Hmmm..." I pondered that for a moment. Was I "lonely"? If I wasn't, I wouldn't have cared if Beyond came back or not. "I am not." I lied. Light didn't need to know everything.

"Ryuzaki... Tell me the truth. I'm not Kira and even if I were, this isn't gonna get me any closer to getting your name so relax."

"Light-kun could be using it to get closer to-"

"Tell me the truth. I've been nothing but honest with you so I deserve at least that much."

"..." Perhaps the fact that I was missing Beyond this much was clouding my better judgement. Or perhaps it was because I couldn't hide anything anymore... Perhaps I just truly wanted to believe for even a split second that I had at least one true friend that wasn't an old lover of mine. Whatever the case, I could not lie at this point. "I... suppose that.. sometimes I may get just a little lonely. Just a little..."

"And what's the percentage for that?"

"Five percent," I answered quickly.

"Liar..."

I said nothing.

"It's just like when you had said there was maybe a 10% chance of me being Kira. We all know that the real number is 98 for you."

Again, I said nothing but just continued to quietly type away at my laptop.

"I'll stay awake with y-"

"That is not necessary," I said quickly.

"Just let me. Maybe I can help."

"And how?"

"At the very least, you won't have to be alone..."

"Light-kun, I do not recall you being this kind to me in the past... Or anyone else for that matter."

"Will you relax? Maybe there's a reason why I treat you differently than others, baka."

"Hmm, perhaps... It could be that you are planning to-"

"Just shut up and let me stay up with you."

"... Fine.."

It was silent as I continued to search. After a while, a sudden thought had occured to me. Light had actually claimed to love me... And assuming he just doesn't recall being Kira...

"Hey, Light-kun," I said.

"Yeah, L?"

"Let's say for a moment, you really were Kira-"

"Not this again," he groaned.

"Please hear me out," I continued. "Assuming that, at the time when we first met, you truly were Kira, well... You say that you've developed feelings towards me, correct?"

"..right..."

"Well, are you capable of remembering when these feelings had started?"

"Well... I'm not sure... Ryuzaki, this is making me feel uncomfortable.."

"Light-kun, I was honest and shared. Now it is your turn."

"I guess... That these feelings started to develop some time after I was no longer confined. Or at least, that's when I realized it... I'm not sure when it all started because my memory is still a little... foggy. I dunno, I gues it just sorta... happened after a while."

"I see. So, assuming you were once Kira, that would've been around the time that you didn't have such feelings towards me... Could Kira have planned up his power and memories of it all? Of course. It'd be too conveniant for him to just give up such an oppurtunity, correct?"

"... True..."

"So, could- or rather, would- Kira have been capable of 'replacing' such memories, or even deluding himself into believing that he had feelings for L, just to get closer to him?"

"Ryuzaki... Just what are you getting at?" He sat up straight. "You think my feelings are fake now?"

"Not entirely... I am simply wondering if Kira could or even would do such a thing. I need your input, Light-kun. If you were Kira, what would you have done?"

"Well,,," He sat there for a moment, taking time to ponder my question. "If I really was Kira... I don't think I'd want to actually get attached to you, whether the feelings were meant to be real or not. Close, yes, but not attached. Kira would want to.. eliminate L. So why allow something like love get in the way, right?" He slowly fell back onto my shoulder as he spoke.

"I see..." Just the type of answer I was expecting. "So the feelings would have started unintentionally... So, Light-kun, if you were once Kira, then you fell in love with the man trying to stop you, what would happen upon retrieving your memories as well as the power to kill?"

I felt him tense up and he became absolutely silent. After a couple of minutes had passed, he answered. "I don't know, Ryuzaki. I'd be... conflicted to say the least. If I were Kira, my goal would probably be something along the lines of 'cleansing the world of evil' or something like that." So he has given it more thought than I realized.. "I'd have to choose in between 'creating a better world' and you... At the moment, I could easily say that I would never pick killing over you... But, if I remembered everything and was the same as before... I don't know, L." He looked over at him as he went back to calling me that.

"I think.." he continued. "That Kira would even be willing to go as far as killing members of his own family just to reach his goal and avoid being caught and punished. If anything, if I were Kira, I'd think I was doing God's work by ridding the world of criminals..." He chuckled. "I guess I've been putting too much thought into this myself... In any case, if I were actually brutal enough to kill my family.. Well, what would make any different than my own father? Or my mother? Or even my little sister, Sayu? I mean, I know she can be a pain sometimes, but I can't just... I can't..." He shook his head. "Realistically, I can't put one over the other..."

"Interesting..." So that means, if he ever becomes Kira again... "So, you would in fact... kill me?"

"Maybe.. But I don't think I'd be able to live with myself afterwards."

"I see. Thank you, Light-kun."

"Uh, sure.. You're welcome, I guess."

I know it actually had nothing to do with the current case at hand, but I still felt the need to ask. Maybe it was for reassurance that if he were to ever regain power and become Kira again, I would still have to catch him and possibly even sentence him to death. Perhaps it made me feel better about the whole idea of having to do something like this to him because if he were truly Kira, that means he will be again. I have no doubts about that. But during this time, I can't look at him and see him as someone I'd have to punish for murder...

I spent the rest of the night, trying to find any new leads, yet I still came up empty. When I had to get up for some tea, I realized that Light had fallen asleep with his head still on my shoulder. I could not help but feel a bit of pity towards him and the fact that he had to fall for someone as uncaring as I. I could never return such feelings towards someone that I believed to be a murderer. He was well aware of that, too. Then there's just the fact that he is Kira. Or was. Whatever the case, no matter how much I wanted to actually see him as a friend, it was rather difficult to do so. It was like his situation with Miss Amane. She loved him unconditionally, but he clearly would never love her back. She probably knew this as well, but just allowed him to use her as he pleased. Which would make sense, considering she was the second Kira.
I checked the time on my laptop. It was 5:30 a.m. I moved Light so that he was lying down on the bed. I unlocked the cuff on my wrist so that he may get some more sleep. Then I left the room and headed for the kitchen for some tea. Or perhaps coffee... Yes, that sounded like the better option right now. As I was making my cup and adding at least ten sugar cubes to it, I heard something behind me move. I turned around an saw only one thing. A full jar of strawberry jam sitting on the counter with a spoon laid down on top of the lid. I felt my heart rate pick up just a little.

I walked over to the counter, coffee cup in hand. This was a small gift from Beyond, no doubt about that. I took a sip of coffe before setting it down on the counter next to the jar. I felt a small lump form in my throat, making it more difficult to breathe normally than I had anticipated.

...

"Ryuzaki, why are you eating jam for breakfast? You run out of cake?"

"Hn, no. I simply did not want it to go to waste."

Author's Note: Holy crap! That tookway longer than I expected to type up. Well hell, the chapter itself was longer than I had originally intended. Meh. :/ Well, at least I got it done. I've been procrastinating for weeks. Review? Please? XD I was all worried about this chapter coming out decently. Well, no going back because I'm too lazy to retype or rewrite it now. Hope you enjoyed, readers! Sorry it took longer than usual!