Thanks to Snugglebug for helping me and encouraging me to keep on writing. Hugs to you, Lady!
Also special thanks to those who have been reading and reviewing, you make working on this worth it. I love you all!
Disclaimer: I do not own them or make money from them.
Bethesda Naval Hospital Parking Garage
Harm and Mac walked independently and silently to the car. He opened her door for her and she got in without a word. Then he crossed to his side and got in. They left Bethesda without a word to each other, not even bothering to turn on the radio. After about twenty minutes of silence, Mac shifted in her chair and laid her hands on her stomach.
"You hungry?" he asked.
"Yeah," she replied. "I'm surprisingly hungry."
"What do you want?" he inquired.
"Mexican," she replied.
"I'm not up to driving all the way to Alexandria tonight," he said. "Would anything else suffice?"
"You don't have to go to Alexandria, Harm. There's that place ten minutes from the house," she said.
"What that little place by the grocery store?" he asked. "You got sick the last time we ate there, remember?"
"So, I'll take a Pepcid. That way you can get Chinese if you want, that veggie thing you like and we can see if Lucy will eat some soup," she suggested.
He shrugged. "I guess that's as good as anything," he replied.
"What you're not hungry?" she asked. "If you really don't want that I'll make us something up or we can stop at Mike's..."
"No, it's okay," he said compassionately. "We can get what you want, that's fine."
"She said take care of each other," Mac reminded him. "If it's not what you want we can compromise."
"Mac," he said with even a hint of a smile. "She did say to take care of each other, yes, but we can get what you want for dinner, honest we can." He reached over towards her hand, apprehensively at first, but when she didn't pull away, he took hold of it.
"All right then. Can you drop me at home first so I can relieve Harriet? I want to get back to Lucy," she replied.
"Sure," he answered. "I hope Lucy got some sleep while we were gone."
"The doctor said her fever should go down soon, but...If there was a problem Harriet would have called us, right?" she asked him.
"Sure she would have," agreed Harm as they rounded the corner of their street.
Mac got out of the car as he stopped in front of the house, "Do you have money?"
"Yeah, I do," he answered. "What am I getting?"
"Whatever is fine with me as long as it is Mexican. Get some wonton soup for Lucy, and some foil wrapped chicken and rice for DJ," she told him.
"Okay" he said, shaking his head a bit. "Whoever heard of a Mexican - Chinese restaurant before this I'll never know?"
"Me neither," Mac sighed. "If you're all set I only have three words for you."
His breath caught a little. "Uh...okay..."
"Extra hot sauce," she smiled and shut the door walking away from his with a shake of her hips.
0015 ZULU
Mackenzie Rabb Residence
ManassasVA
It was a tired drained Mac that entered her house that Monday night. It was only the sight of her babies that could rejuvenate her soul now and one of those babies was sick and hurting. She used her keys and opened the door grabbing the mail on her way inside. "Hey, I'm home."
DJ reacted first, being his Mommy's boy. He left his place where he was playing trucks with Jimmy and went to his Mommy. "Mommy home," he announced and hugged her around the legs.
Mac stooped over to pick DJ up and hugged him, "How's Mommy's boy?" she asked. "Were you good?"
"DJ good boy," he announced.
"Where's Auntie Harriet and Lucy?" she asked.
"Potty," he answered and squirmed to get down.
"Lucy!" called Mac as she walked towards the back of the house. "Mommy's home, honey!"
At the sound of her mother's voice, the child peeked her head out of the bathroom. "Mommy? Where are you?" She called, not yet feeling well enough to bound down the hall and seek Mac out.
"I'm coming back to you baby," Mac answered stopping outside the bathroom door near Harriet. "How's she doing?" she asked Harriet.
"Better," replied Harriet, who'd spent the afternoon at the Rabb's taking care of all the kids. "She's been up most all the whole you've been gone, and she seems a lot more alert than before."
"Thanks for coming today, Harriet. We appreciate it," Mac said to her friend. "I've got this now if you want to get back to Bud. Or if you'd like to stay..."
"Oh, thanks but no," said Harriet. "Bud's making dinner and then we've got to do baths and bedtime stories. I'll gather my brood and get out of your way." She hesitated for a moment before asking Mac the big question on her mind. "Um, how'd it go?"
"All right," Mac replied. "It was hardest on him today, but we'll both go through the ringer before its over. I just hope we can hold on to the rail and come out on the other side."
Harriet looked Mac in the eye. "If anyone can, it's you two. Believe that, Mac. You'll both be okay once it's over."
"Thanks, Harriet, for everything," Mac smiled.
"Mommy," called Lucy. "Come here, I want to see you!"
"I'm right outside, Baby Girl," she replied. "I better get to her. See you at your place tomorrow unless she gets worse."
Harriet smiled and Mac pushed the bathroom door opened and went to Lucy who was sitting in the tub. "What are you doing in there, Lucy Bear?" Mac asked.
"Aunt Harriet said I should take a bath 'cause I was all sweaty from bein' sick" answered the little girl. "Where's Daddy?"
"He's getting dinner from the place on the corner. He'll be home soon," Mac replied feeling her daughter's forehead. "You're nice and cool now. You feel better?"
"Uh-huh," she said, reaching into the water for her rubber ducky.
DJ toddled back to the bathroom after Harriet left. "Mommy, hungee."
"I know, DJ. Daddy's getting you dinner," she replied.
"That's good, Lucy. How long have you been in here?" she asked.
"Twenty-one minutes," replied Lucy as she held up her hands with the palms facing her mother. "See? I'm gettin' wrinkly!"
"How about we get out and get you a new set of Jammies so you're comfy when Daddy brings you your food?" Mac suggested.
"Okay," said Lucy, placing her ducky on the soap dish and reaching out to pull the plug on the drain.
Mac reached over and helped Lucy get out of the tub. DJ for his part was watching his sister get out of the water. Usually when Lucy was done, it was his turn so he saw her exit as an invite for his entrance so he did, only he neglected to take off his clothes first.
"DJ, no no," Mac scolded and quickly lifted the soggy toddler out of the bathtub. "We don't take baths with out clothes on."
"Silly DJ" laughed a dripping wet Lucy.
Poor DJ wasn't sure what he'd done wrong. Only he didn't like Lucy laughing or Mommy scolding, so he thrust out his lower lip and began to cry.
Mac was trying to calm DJ's cries and keep Lucy warm when she heard a blessed voice from the front of the house. "Hey, where is everybody?" called Harm from the kitchen.
"What happened?" he soaked as he saw DJ, soaking wet and bawling his head off.
"Why is he wet?" asked Harm as he picked up his son.
"He climbed in the tub when I was getting Lucy out of it," Mac replied. "Can you deal with him please?"
"Come on, buddy" he said, patting his son on the back as he held him close. "Let's go get you into something dry and then you can help Daddy set the table for dinner, okay?"
"Mommy yell," he told his Daddy as the walked to his room. "Lulu laugh."
"Oh, it's okay," comforted Harm. "Mommy was just afraid you'd fall and get hurt, and Lucy thought you were being a silly boy. Are you a silly boy?"
"No," he said and stuck out his lip.
Harm changed his son into a dry Pull-Up and some clean PJ's and together they headed for the kitchen to get dinner on the table.
Meanwhile Mac finished getting Lucy changed into fresh PJs and sent her to sit on the couch while she cleaned out the tub.
Harm and DJ entered the kitchen and Lucy smiled at her Daddy, "Hi Daddy." She had burrowed herself into her blanket and was laying on her Daddy's pillow tired all ready from her bath.
"How you feelin', Button?" he asked her as he knelt beside her.
"Better, but now I'm sleepy," she told him. "I gots no more fever Mommy said."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he said. "I got you some soup, you hungry?"
"A little bit," she answered. "What soup?"
"Wonton," he replied. "Your favorite."
"Yes," Lucy agreed. "Let's eat!" She spoke with more enthusiasm than she had in days. Before she slid off the couch though she opened her arms wide.
"I love you, Daddy," said Lucy. "You take care of me when I'm sick."
"I love you too, Luce," replied Harm, holding his daughter in his arms. When he thought about the changes that were coming into her little life, it made his insides churn. "Hey, let's go eat, huh?"
Mac finished cleaning the bathroom and quickly changed out of her uniform into a pair of her sweats and her favorite tee shirt, a white one that said, "Proud Wife of a Naval Aviator" on the front of it.
Lucy took Harm's hand and headed to the kitchen behind her father. Mac came into the kitchen then, "What'd you get me Sailor?"
"Chicken enchiladas," he answered as he pulled items from the bags and set them down. He glanced up at Mac, and did a double take when he saw her shirt. "Hey, nice shirt," he said with a smile. "Where'd it come from? I've never seen it before."
"You bought it for me don't you remember?" she asked. "Our one month anniversary?"
"Oh, that's right..." he said as he slowly remembered the story behind the shirt. He'd seen it in the BX at Andrews and bought it as a half-joke, half-serious gift for his new bride. She wore it some at first to humor him, but not so much as the years went by. The fact that she had it on now, of all times, made Harm feel all kinds of different things, the biggest being...hope.
"Why don't you get out of that uniform?" she suggested. "I left your sweats on your bed. Might as well be comfortable."
"Yeah," he said, "let me get them settled first. Here, sit down and dig in; I know how hungry you are."
"Mommy, why is Daddy sleeping in the lighthouse room?" Lucy asked for maybe the fourth separate time since Saturday.
Mac sighed, "We'll talk about that after DJ goes to bed, okay?" Mac answered. "Here's your soup? Do you want crackers?" That was Lucy's term for Chinese noodles.
"Yes, please," said Lucy.
Mac gave DJ some of his chicken and Lucy her crackers, she even set out Harm's Vegetable lo Mein before sitting down to work on her meal. "Harm!" Mac called.
Harm was down the hall in what was usually the guest room, now his room, changing out of his uniform when he heard her call for him. "Just a sec!" he called back. When he grabbed his sweats off the bed, he saw which T-shirt she'd laid out for him. It was the one she'd gotten him on her first TAD after they got married; camo green in color with the words "Proud Husband of a US Marine" across the front. She smiled a little as he put it on, feeling just a bit more hope then he'd felt an hour ago.
"Where's my hot sauce?" she hollered back.
"It should be in one of those bags," he said as he came back down the hall. "I watched them put it in there myself."
"Okay, good," he said. "I knew it had to be there somewhere. How's the enchilada?"
"Give me a second and I'll let you know," she replied and proceeded to pour the hot sauce all over the item before taking a bite. "Mmm, good choice."
"Good," DJ proclaimed as he worked on his chicken and rice, getting more on his bib and in his hair than in his mouth.
"You like that, pal?" asked Harm, picking as much of the scattered food off his son's bib as he could and putting it back on his little plate.
"Yummy!" he declared. "Daddy yummy?"
Harm took a bite of his veggie lo mein. "Mmm," he said to his little boy. "Very yummy! Lucy, is yours yummy?"
The little girl nodded her head, but did not speak as she had to cover her mouth to cough.
"I don't think we should send her to s-c-h-o-o-l yet tomorrow, Harm," Mac told him.
He swallowed the food in his mouth before answering her. "I agree," he said. "You got a plan in mind, sitter-wise I mean?"
"Harriet," Mac replied. "She said she could do it." She took another bit of her enchilada. "So good. Want to try?" she offered.
"Actually," he said. "Yeah, gimme a little bite." He almost never ate meat, but once in awhile he didn't mind a little bit, and given the events of the afternoon, he felt like he should accept any offer she made him.
"Good?" she asked as he sampled the bit of food she held out to him.
"Yeah, good," he said. "But wow, that's some hot sauce on there!" He grabbed for his glass of ice water and took a big drink.
Mac laughed, "Have some bread," she instructed and got up and went to their bread box and handed him a roll.
"Thanks," he said as his eyes watered and his nose began to run. "How can you eat that stuff? I mean, the food itself is good, but you can't hardly taste it for all the spices."
"That's the idea," she replied. "Remind me I said that when I'm sick later. Remember when I was pregnant with Lucy?"
Harm chuckled. "How could I forget? At least 5 nights a week you made me fix you chili cheese nachos. By the time she was born, I didn't care if I never laid eyes on another tortilla chip as long as I lived!"
"Is that why I like chili Mommy?" Lucy asked. "Cause you ate that when I was in your belly?"
"Could be Lucy," Mac replied.
"AJ said my friend Katie got a baby sister last week," Lucy said. "Can you get me a sister Mommy?"
Mac felt the familiar feeling in her gut and looked at Harm to field his daughter's question as she lifted her water glass with a shaky hand.
"Maybe someday you can have a sister, Luce," he said, looking Mac in the eye as he spoke. They'd talked about their plan to have one more baby, and while he knew it was still up-in-the-air given their current situation, he also knew that they both still wanted to see it through if at all possible.
"Good," Lucy smiled and went back to her soup.
Mac jumped from the table then, feeling the familiar pressure in her chest, "Excuse me."
Harm set his chop sticks down and went to go after his wife when a ring of the phone interrupted him. With a sigh, he grabbed it on the second ring. "Rabb residence."
"Commander, how are you Mate? It's Mic," the accented voice proclaimed.
"Ah, yeah, hey you caught me at a bad time," said Harm, anxious to get to Mac. "Can you check back tomorrow, call me at the office?"
"Actually I wanted to speak to Sarah. Is she available please?" he asked.
"Not at the moment," replied Harm, feeling very wary of the Australian's intentions. "I'll let her know you called, though." He didn't offer to give her a message, because he didn't much care for this man calling his wife.
"I'd appreciate that," Mic replied. "Is she all right?"
"Yeah, she's okay," said Harm. "She's tired. Lucy has been a bit under the weather for a couple days; it takes a toll on Mac when the kids are sick like that."
"I understand," he replied. "Give the little one a hug for her Uncle Mic and ask Sarah to call me," he replied.
Harm visibly shuddered at both of those requests. "Okay, will do. Talk with you later, Commander."
"Daddy where's Mommy?" Lucy asked as soon as he hung up the phone.
"Probably in the bathroom, sweetie," he said. "You stay here and eat your soup and keep an eye on DJ. I'll go check on Mommy."
"Kay," she replied and went back to her dinner.
Harm hurried down the hall and peeked into the first open door he came to, the master bedroom. He found his wife lying on the bed, knees drawn to her chest, back to the door. He walked in and sat on the bed beside her, and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. Commander McCool had said they could touch if necessary, and seeing Mac so upset made him want to do nothing else.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No," she replied. "It should have gotten easier, but it doesn't."
"I don't think it ever will," he said. "Does it help any to think about...how we're going to try again?" He hoped against all hope that he hadn't said the wrong thing; he was sincerely trying to help.
"Sometimes it does," she replied. "Other times I'm so scared that it won't work and I don't think I can handle that," she sniffed.
"Try to focus on the positive," he said, his hand gently rubbing her back. "I know things are...well, they're a mess right now, but we're going to get past all this, and...you know I'll do whatever it takes for us to have our miracle baby. I know you will, too. We're in this together, Mac, and I don't just mean the baby stuff."
She nodded then rolled over to sit up, "We have to tell Lucy tonight," she told him.
"Yeah," he said softly. "We do. She's already picking up on things not being quite right."
"Let's clean up and put down that Little Sailor, then we can do that," she sighed. "Who was on the phone?"
"Oh, uh, Brumby," muttered Harm.
"Brumby? From Australia?" she asked rising from the bed and heading for the kitchen.
"No," said Harm. "He's in DC for something or other."
"Oh," she sighed. Then paused before they reentered the kitchen. "Do you think a hug is considered "chaste affection?"
"I think we could file it as such," replied Harm lovingly. "I know I could really use a hug right about now."
"Come and get it, Commander," she told him and waited for him to lead her as she always had.
He opened his arms wide and allowed her to step into his embrace. When she did, he closed his arms around her and held her close, knowing in the deepest part of his heart and soul that everything would somehow work out between them. It had to.
Mac stayed in the shelter of his arms for a moment the pulled back, "Thank you. What did Mic want?"
"To talk to you," replied Harm, trying to keep his tone as matter-of-fact as possible.
"Okay," she sighed. "I'll call him while you bathe DJ?"
Harm was caught by surprise, but tried not to let it show. "Okay, sure," he said. "The number is on the Caller ID."
Mac set Lucy up with a video then worked with Harm to get the dinner cleaned up before she sent him off with DJ for his bath. She hadn't spoken to Mic in a long time and she had missed him a bit. They'd e-mailed a few times, but nothing in the last two years or so since she'd left JAG. She lifted the receiver and dialed the number.
"Hello," said the unmistakable voice on the other end of he line.
"Hi, Mic. It's Sarah," she said into the phone.
"Sarah, my dear, how are ya?" asked Mic.
"I'm good," she replied. "Tired, you know how it is with the kids and all, but basically good." That was not too much of a lie, physically she felt fine, it was only emotionally.
"Yeah, Harm said the little lady has been a bit under the weather," said Mic. "Is she better?"
"Better, but not herself," Mac replied. "Like now she watching Cinderella and not singing along with the mice, that's not Lucy," she sighed, still upset by Lucy's lethargy.
"Ah, give her a little time." he said. "She'll be back to her old sweet self, just like her mother."
"You flatter me, Mic," she smiled. "So what can I do for you?" She asked then scolded, "Colleen no, no, leave Harm's cover alone."
Mic laughed a bit at her comment to the dog. "Well, I was hoping you and the hubby would join me for dinner this Friday night, you know, visit and catch up, that sort of thing?"
"Um, I'd have to check it with Harm, but as long as I can shanghai the Admiral into watching the kids it should be okay. It would have to be an early night though," she replied.
"Oh, no problem there, love," he said, turning on the Aussie charm. "Shall we say meet at Casa Italiano, 1800?"
"As long as it's okay with Harm," Mac replied. "I'll run it by him and tell you tomorrow?" she replied.
"Sounds great," said Mic. "Well, I'll let you go; I know it's getting close to the little one's bedtimes."
"It is," Mac replied. "Harm's just about to put DJ down and I want to kiss him goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow," she replied.
"I'll look forward to it," said Mic in such a way Mac could hear his smile over the line.
She smiled at that thought, "Goodnight, Mic."
"G'night, Sarah," he said before hanging up the receiver.
Mac hung up her end of the line and went to check on Harm and DJ. He almost had the young boy in his jammies, except DJ was falling asleep on him making the job harder. "You're losing him, Sailor."
Harm laughed a little. "Yeah, I think I am. I remember when he was a baby and he'd just learned to roll over, and I realized how much easier it had been to dress him when he laid in one place. Now, though," he said, pausing to roll DJ over so he could put his other arm in the pajama top. "It's better when he can help some."
"Why don't you go and snuggle with Lucy for a few minutes before we talk to her? I'll finish up here," she suggested.
"Okay, sure," he said, standing up from where he'd been kneeling beside the toddler bed.
Harm was halfway out the door when she said, "Mic wants to go to dinner on Friday. I said I'd check with you."
Then to their son, "Come on, Little Man," she cooed and eased the arm into the train patterned shirt.
"Uh, oh, okay," said Harm. "We'll talk about it after we talk to Lucy; is that alright?"
"Sure," Mac replied. "You don't want to tell her do you?" she asked looking at his face.
"Of course not, Mac," he said. "I don't want to tell her, I don't even know what to tell her. I think, I mean, we should, er, I should probably not get into the, uh, matter with Annie. She doesn't need to know that."
"No," Mac replied. "We only have to address what she sees. We can tell her that we aren't getting along and we are going to a doctor to fix it and staying apart is part of our medicine. She doesn't need to know what you...what we've done to each other," Mac replied as she tucked DJ in.
"Yeah," sighed Harm. "I'll go sit with her; come out whenever you're ready."
"I'll be out in a few minutes," she replied. "And Harm...you have to tell her you made a mistake so she understands why I'm upset with you."
"I know, Mac," he said, his voice low, quiet and dejected.
"Go on now," she said. "I have to use the bathroom then I'll be out and we can get this done," she sighed dreading this as much as he was.
He looked at Mac, knowing the sick feeling in his gut wasn't unlike the one she felt in hers. How were they going to explain to their 5-year-old daughter that her Daddy had some something so bad that he couldn't sleep in the same bed with Mommy? He had to force himself to look away from Mac and put one foot in front of the other, down the hall and to the living room. He felt as if he was being marched to his execution, and to be honest, part of him thought that would be easier than what was only a few moments away.
"Hey, Lucy Bear," he said, trying to sound as happy as possible when he spied the little girl on the couch. "Can Daddy sit with you?"
"Sure," she said, moving her legs so Harm could put them in his lap.
"I'm glad you feel better," he said.
"Me too," replied the little girl. She looked at Harm quizzically for a moment. "Daddy, why are you sad?"
"Let's wait for Mommy then we can talk about that, okay Button?" he asked. "Would you come and sit on Daddy's lap?"
"Mm-hmm" she said, slowly pulling herself into an upright position, dragging her blanket with her.
Harm sat her on his lap and tucked her blanket around her. Then he wrapped her in his arms and held on tight, "Daddy loves you, Button. Don't forget that okay?"
"I won't, Daddy" she said, snuggling closer to him.
He fought tears as he placed a kiss on her head. With his arms wrapped around his daughter, he began to rock. Then softly, almost unconsciously he began to sing her song to her as she held her close.
Lucy snuggled closer to her father. She knew that he and her mother had something serious to tell her or her father wouldn't be holding on to her like this. Her immediate thought was one parent, probably her mother was very sick, like her friend Holly's Daddy. She wrapped her little arms around her Daddy's middle and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Daddy," Lucy's little voice interrupted her father's song.
"Ssh," he hushed her wanting to finish this special moment before her had to break his little girl's heart.
"I love you, Daddy," Lucy told him, rubbing her forehead against his shoulder.
Harm knew that he had to tell her soon or he wouldn't be able to get the words out of his mouth. "Mac!"
Mac could hear Harm as he sang to Lucy and she watched from the hallway as he cuddled their daughter close to him. This was going to be a very difficult evening for all of them, worse for him though given how badly he was feeling all ready after today's therapy session had opened up wounds he'd wanted to forget he even had.
Quietly she joined her husband and daughter on the sofa and placed a hand on Harm's knee, shocked that he pulled it away. He opened his mouth to begin to speak, but words failed his so it was left up to her. "Lucy, Mommy and Daddy have something very important to tell you," Mac began.
"Okay, Mommy," she said.
"Well, you've been asking us why Daddy has been sleeping in the lighthouse room, remember?" Mac asked so the child had an idea of what this conversation was about.
"Mm-hmm," she said. "That's the room Grandma and Grandpa sleep in when they come to see us."
"That's right, well right now Mommy asked Daddy to sleep in there for a little bit," Mac told her knowing her little girl's next question, and hoping Harm would have the ability to answer the wide eyed child.
"But Daddy is 'posed to sleep in the big bed with you" said Lucy, clearly confused.
"That's right, Lucy, I am," said Harm, wishing at that moment he was just about anywhere but there. "But...well, Mommy is very sad because Daddy did something that hurt her feelings, and because of that I'm gonna sleep in the lighthouse room for a little while."
"Like a time out like I got last week?" she asked. Harm and Mac did not believe in yelling or spanking, they exercise punishment in the form of time outs and the occasional chore duty.
"Well, sort of, yes," replied Harm. "Mommy needs me to stay in there for a little while, just until she's not so sad anymore."
"When I make you or Mommy or DJ sad on accident all I got to do is say sorry and give you a hug," Lucy reminded him. "Did you say sorry?"
He looked up at Mac and saw the pain in her eyes. "Yes, Button, I sure did say I was sorry. Sometimes when you're a grown-up, though, saying you're sorry doesn't make it all better. That's why I'm sleeping in the other room and why Mommy and I are going to a special doctor, to help make things better."
At the mention of the word doctor, Lucy's little mind started to flow with all sorts of assumptions and tears started to pour out of her eyes.
"What's wrong?" asked Harm, pulling the girl closer to him as she sat in his lap.
Lucy tried to answer him, but continued to sob so hard she was having a hard time catching her breath.
Mac leaned over and put her hand on Lucy's back, "Lucy, Baby, calm down. It's okay. Tell Mommy and Daddy what's making you cry."
"My...my friend Holly..." began Lucy, still sobbing. "Her Daddy went to a doctor and...and the doctor couldn't make him all better and...and he went to Heaven..."
"Ohh," Mac made a soft noise. "It's not that kind of doctor. But even if we do go to doctors they usually can make us all better. Look at Dr. Parker; he made you feel better right?"
"Uh-huh," said their child, nodding a little as she tried to get her tears under control.
"Will your doctor make you all better, Mommy?"
"Which one? The special one that I see with Daddy or the one that I go to for my booboo?" Mac asked not sure what the little girl meant.
"The...the one with Daddy," she answered.
"Well," Mac replied. "I hope that she can make us both better so that we can be happy again," Mac answered. "It could take a long time, but Mommy and Daddy had to see her once before you were born and she made us better that time."
Mac didn't know how to answer that question. As much as she wanted Dr. McCool to help them heal their marriage she didn't know if it was possible a second time.
Lucy turned back to Harm. "What did you do that made Mommy so sad?"
He feared that question was coming, and with a deep breath, he answered the best he could. "Well, I...um...I had made a promise to Mommy, and I didn't keep that promise." He looked at his wife and saw her eyes fill with tears. "It's not nice to break promises, but I did and that's why Mommy is so sad."
"Why can't you fix it?" she asked her father. "You can fix anything if you want to."
How on earth could he get Lucy to grasp the reality that despite her idea that her Daddy was larger than life, king of the universe, and capable of fixing everything wrong in the world, this was something he couldn't just...fix? "I want to fix it," he said. "And so does Mommy. That's why we have to go talk to the special doctor. She helps grown-up's fix things when they can't fix them for themselves. Does that make sense, sweetie?"
Lucy shook her head. "None of it does," she replied with an answer beyond her years. She started to squirm in Harm's arms.
"I'm sorry it doesn't make sense, Lucy," he said, feeling a pain in his heart like he hadn't felt in a very long time. "But what you need to know is that no matter what, no matter how sad Mommy is about what Daddy did, we both love you and DJ so much, and that we're not sad about anything you did, okay?"
Lucy nodded, then started to formulate a question. "My friend Pete in school...his Daddy left when he made Pete's Mommy sad. Are you going to go away?" she asked him with huge eyes filling once again with tears.
Without looking at Mac, he answered. "No, Luce. I'm not going to go away. I'm only going to the lighthouse room and only for a little while, until Mommy isn't sad anymore." Granted he had no idea where the broken road between he and Mac may eventually end up, but he simply refused to allow himself or his child to think it could end in the worst of ways.
"Promise?" she asked only this time she said it with more hesitation. Her Daddy just told her he'd broken a promise to her Mommy; maybe...She waited for him to answer her.
"I promise," he said, looking his daughter square in the eye. Her fear of his promises being broken was valid, given the conversation, but he was determined to do all he could to keep her from doubting him.
"I'm really sleepy," sniffled Lucy. "Can I go to bed?"
"Of course you can, Sweetie," Mac replied. "Mommy's going to let you stay home from school again tomorrow. Just to make sure you're all better, okay?"
"Uh-huh," said Lucy, clinging to her blanket and resting her head upon her Daddy's shoulder. "Where's my Pooh Bear?"
"He's in your bedroom," Mac answered. "How about you come to Mommy now and we can get your teeth brushed, then Daddy can read you a bedtime story. Is that okay?" She asked this of Harm and Lucy.
"Here, go with Mommy, Button," he said, kissing the little girl's temple as he spoke.
Lucy crawled to Mac's lap and clung to her mother. Mac tried to loosen her grip to make walk to the bathroom, but she held fast so Mac rose with Lucy in her arms.
Once Mac got Lucy to the bathroom and put the toothpaste on her brush she started to run her fingers through her little girl's hair. "Lucy, are you okay with what Mommy and Daddy told you tonight. Do you understand that none of this is your fault or your problem?"
"Okay," Mac replied giving her daughter a one armed hug. "Rinse."
Lucy rinsed her mouth and went to go potty, almost falling asleep as she did so. Mac wasn't sure if she should risk carrying her again, she didn't want to temp fate. "Harm!" she called in a loud whisper.
He heard her as he sat in the living room, reeling from the experience of talking to Lucy. Not wanting to wake DJ, he got up and went into the bathroom. "Yeah?"
She motioned with her head to Lucy who was barely standing on her own two feet after Mac helped her clean up. "Can you...?"
He nodded, and picked up the child, carrying her into her room and laying her in bed.
No story was necessary tonight. Her recovery and the emotional upheaval they'd just laid on her was enough to wear her out. With a gentle kiss on her cheek, Harm left Lucy to her rest.