Author's Note:

Hey all of you who have stuck with me this far. I've had some good feedback, and some bad feedback on this story, but most of it has been good. It has inspired me to write even more, and I even found a person to bounce ideas off of. Thanks to Tonlor for helping with this. It's just so nice to finally find someone who I can discuss One Piece with without them calling me a nerd.

Anyhow, I'd like to address some things: No, I'm not burning myself out by writing as much as I can throughout the day. I've had a couple of people tell me to pace myself, and trust me I do. I just need to get all of these ideas out of my brain before it explodes.

Next, I had a random guest ask if Bonney would be meeting Ace and Sabo. She will, but it will only be shown in flashbacks. This chapter marks the beginning of the adventure, so that's how it will pan out. Don't worry, though, they will definitely be present later on.

As for the questions of whether there will be any pairings other than Luffy and Bonney, the answer is Yes. However, as I'm mostly making this up as I go along and basing it around a general skeleton of how I want the story to play out, it's up in the air as to how characters might get together. I can't control how they feel about each other (OR CAN I?)

Finally, on the topic of Luffy's devil fruit, I know that the Water-Water fruit is a bit overdone in the OP fandom, but it was something that I wanted to write out and put my own special spin on. For those of you who can overlook this unsightly and unoriginal fruit, thank you for your time and patience. For those of you who can't, the door is over there.

Alrighty then! Obligatory Disclaimer timed: I don't own anything except the words I'm writing and the story idea itself. One Piece and its characters belong to Oda. (Lucky Bastard.)

PS: This is where the cursing really starts. Just FYI

ON WITH THE CLUSTERFUCK!

Present Day

It was a quiet night in Foosha Village. Every dwelling in the entire town was devoid of light, the residents having long since hit the hay. Not very surprising, seeing as the time was approaching two o' clock AM. Who in their right mind would be up at this ungodly hour?

An answer to this question came in the form of two figures sitting on the end of the village's docks. The full moon in the cloudless sky shown down on them, illuminating and revealing them to be a pair of teenagers.

The first was a boy with messy black hair held back by a straw hat. His clothing was simple, consisting of a sleeveless blue vest, brown cargo shorts with white highlights, and a pair of sandals. Lanky would be the best description of his overall physic, but he gave off an air of power that even a novice warrior could feel. A small scar marred the skin under his left eye, and a calm expression that seemed to reflect the state of the sea itself dominated his features.

Next to him, sporting a much more curvaceous figure, was a girl. Some might say she dressed rather skimpily, with her white low-cut tank top, orange-and-black striped buckle shorts with thin suspenders, and colorful stockings that disappeared into brown boots. A gold piercing stuck out below the right of her purple eyes, and a green fleece hat sat prominently atop her long pink hair. She appeared to be slightly conflicted.

"You sure you want to do this, Bonney?" Luffy asked, still staring out at the ocean.

Bonney frowned, looking down at her lap. "Yeah, Luffy. You know I hate long emotional goodbyes. The notes we left should be enough."

Luffy turned to her. "This could be our last chance to see anyone here for a few years. I know you've grown to love everyone in town as much as I do."

She glanced at him with a sad smile. "Yeah, but I'd rather leave now, when I have enough conviction and determination."

He grinned back. "Okay, then," he said, lifting himself up to his full height and reaching down to help her as well. Once she was on her feet, he faced away from her and knelt down. "Hop on."

The two of them had been planning their departure for months now, but it was only four days ago that they decided to depart in the dead of night. Many ideas were tossed back and forth, and after much consideration, it was decided they couldn't use a boat; the main reason being that it would cause too much noise when setting sail. Fortunately, they had the perfect solution.

Without any further warning, something happened that anyone who didn't know the duo would be shocked by. Bonney started to rapidly shrink, losing at least twenty-five inches in the process. In no time at all, she had transformed into a child. Her clothes now fit her better and covered more skin, not having been affected by the metamorphosis.

With her transformation completed, she proceeded to climb up Luffy's back. Removing his straw hat and leaving it to hang behind his neck, she continued upward until she was sitting on his shoulders. It was a familiar seat that she liked to take advantage of whenever possible.

"If you drop me, I swear that I will kill you," she threatened her friend as he straightened back up, her voice matching her small stature.

"Shishishi," he laughed to himself, picking up a large duffle bag on the ground, slinging it over his shoulder, and strolling back to the dock's edge. "Wouldn't dream of it." With no other preparations to deal with, he jumped off.

Now, any sane person could tell you that this was a terrible idea. Both participants in this suicidal stunt were Devil Fruit users. Even in the East Blue, it was known that those who had eaten the cursed Devil Fruits couldn't swim, and these two were no exception. They'd sink like rocks. There was no possible way they were that stupid, right?

Well, any Grand Line pirate would be stupefied by what happened next. The moment Luffy's sandals hit the water, they stopped. Defying all know laws of nature known to sailor throughout the world, Monkey D. Luffy was standing on the water as if it was as solid as stone. However, neither of the Devil Fruit users present thought anything of it, as they'd performed this "miraculous" act more times than either could count.

"So...what's the plan again?" Luffy inquired, already beginning to take steps away from the docks.

Bonney sighed, shaking her just discussed this an hour ago! How could you have forgotten already?"

"I dunno," he replied with a shrug. "I was thinking about meat."

His small companion groaned. "We're going to walk until we find either an island or a boat we can commandeer. It would help if you payed attention when I explain things, ya know?"

A moment of silence filled the air, followed by Luffy jerking his head to the side. "What? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

Bonney roared as she pounded the top of his head with her fists. This was going to be a long day.

Ten hours later

"I spy with my little eye something... white!"

"Cloud."

"Wow! How did you guess that so easily?" Luffy asked, looking up at the friend on his shoulders.

"Bonney rested her head on her arms, which were crossed on top of Luffy's hair, and closed her eyes. "Well, you picked water last time, and that's all that's out here: clouds and water. What's the point of playing I Spy when there's nothing around to 'spy?'"

Luffy lowered his gaze in defeat. "I just thought a game would lighten the mood."

"Well, you failed, dumbass," she berated. "We've been out here for ten hours now. Our food supply is gone, there don't seem to be any fish in the area that we could catch, and there's nothing around us for miles. You'd think by now we'd at least find a small-"

"Ship!"

"Yeah, Luffy. Way to steal my thunder," she grumbled.

"No, Bonney! I mean I see a ship!" he exclaimed, immediately causing her eyes to snap open.

Indeed, a large ship had somehow appeared off in the distance, and was sailing in their direction. Pink, red, and white were the only colors that could be seen on the vessel, and hearts covered almost every inch of it, even the sail. A Jolly Roger was raised high atop the mast, but its skull was sideways and had, you guessed it, a heart in the middle.

"You think they'll help us out?" Luffy question, having stopped in his tracks.

"I don't think so," Bonney responded, a hand raised to her chin in thought. "They're obviously pirates, so I'd bet all of the flies in your head that they're not friendly."

Luffy mimicked her pose. "How do we get their attention, then?"

A second passed before they both snapped their fingers, reaching the same conclusion at the same time. "Tactic Fifteen."

Up in the crow's nest of the overly-girly ship, stood a man with a telescope. He'd been keeping an eye out for any enemy boats, defenseless merchant ships, or really anything other than the blank ocean surrounding him on all sides since dawn, with no luck. The captain had even told him he wasn't allowed down until he had something to report, and he was getting hungry. He would've complained, but even he wasn't stupid enough to talk back to her.

Halfway through one of his visual sweeps, though, he was rewarded with more than he bargained for. What he saw off the bow was so ridiculously illogical that he initially thought he was hallucinating from the heat. But no, a second look confirmed that it was there, plain as day, and caused him to question reality.

"Uh... Bobby?" he shouted.

"What is it, Butch? You find something useful?" the gruff voice of the first mate came back.

"Um, I don't know about that."

"Then what is it?"

"W-well, the best way I can describe it would be...hitchhikers?"

"...What?"

"Just take a look for yourself!" he called out, dropping the spy glass and pointing toward the front of the ship.

Bobby caught the instrument and wandered over to the bow. "I swear, if you're wasting my time, Butch, I will...crush..."

The sight he was treated to was probably the strangest thing to ever grace his eyeballs. Out in the middle of the ocean, standing on the waves themselves, was a teenage boy in a blue vest. On his shoulders was a small child who couldn't have been older than eight, probably the boy's little sister. However, the oddest thing about this reality-shattering sight scene was that each of them was holding out a thumb, as if they were trying to catch a ride on the side of the road.

The first mate's jaw dropped, his brain unable to process the ludicrous nature of the current situation. I wasn't until five minutes later, when the rest of the crew had gathered around him and could see the odd spectacle, that he was snapped out of it. This was courtesy of one brave man who dared to tap on his shoulder.

"What should we do, Bobby?" he asked, the crew not knowing how to handle this.

Infuriated by the fact that he'd been so easily caught off guard, he glared in the direction of the kids and growled. "Send them to a watery grave!"

This was Tactic Fifteen: "Fool Stupid Pirates Into Capturing Harmless Strangers Lost at Sea. The basic idea behind it was that if said pirates thought they weren't a threat, they'd easily let their guard down. The implementation of the plan was Luffy's brain child; "because who ever heard of a dangerous hitchhiker?"

That logic was blown to bits, though, when a cannonball splashed mere feet from where they were standing. Both of them slowly turned their heads to look at the point of impact, small droplets falling around them. Within seconds, the sound of several cannons being fired reached their ears, followed by the telltale whistling of more projectiles coming their way.

"Luffy."

"Yeah, Bonney?"

"Run!"

"Gotcha!" he responded with an excited grin, bending his knees and leaning forward. "Hold on! Hydro Dash!" Instantly, the duo shot off like a bullet. Using his control over water, Luffy pushed off the surface below him, while simultaneously willing the water to launch him in the same direction. The result was a burst of speed that rivaled a cheetah. He rapidly weaved in between the cannonballs as they fell, not the least worried about being hit. One could even hear the sound of his gleeful laughter through the splashes, if they listened hard enough.

Throughout their zigzagging approach to the offending ship, Bonney held on tight and imagined all of the ways she would punish the ones firing at them. 'What pirate even does that, anyway,' she thought angrily. "Even novice pirates capture castaways and either kill them, sell them, or force them to join the crew. That's like "Evil Pirating 101!"'

Upon reaching the port side of the vessel, Luffy stopped for a brief moment, "Hydro," he began, crouching and building up power in his legs. "Jet!" Those on deck were shocked as a pillar of water erupted right next to the ship, reaching almost a hundred feet in the air. As it dissipated, two shapes descended from its peak, eventually landing with dual thuds on the boat.

During the fall, Bonney had returned to her true physical age, and was now being ogled by the men around her. Unfortunately for them, she was incredibly pissed. "Alright! Here's how this is going to go down. First, you are all going to tell me which asshole decided it was okay to kill us. Next, my friend and I will beat you dumbasses to a bloody pulp. Finally, we're gonna steal your ship and leave you dead in the water! Any questions?"

"Now, now," a smooth, seductive voice said from behind the gathered pirates. The source made herself known as she stepped out in from of her guests. "Must you really be so vulgar towards my men?"

To say that the woman was gorgeous would be an understatement. He dark hair fell perfectly down to her sizable breasts, which were only held back by and red and white striped bikini top. A purple coat served to cover her slip arms and trailed down past her form-fitting pink Capri-length pants. The most noteworthy aspects of her wardrobe were her pearl necklace and white cowboy hat with a large red feather coming out of it. To all of the men observing the stand-off, aside from the ever-clueless Luffy, if was difficult to determine who was dressed more provocatively: the captain or Bonney.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" the latter growled in irritation.

A small chuckle escaped the older woman. "Let me answer that with a question. Boys, who is the most beautiful pirate in all of the seven seas?"

"You, of course, Lady Alvida," her crew replied in unison, hearts in their eyes.

"There you go," she stated smugly. "I am Captain "Iron Club" Alvida of the Alvida Pirates. But, I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself. It's common courtesy to introduce yourself first when on someone else' ship, you know. Such terrible manners."

"Oooooooohhhh," Luffy interjected, drawing all eyes to him as he placed his straw hat on his head. "That does make sense. Sorry about that. My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm going to be King of the-" He was interrupted by a fist pounding him into the floorboards, making the surrounding men wince.

"Don't apologize to this bitch! Need I remind you she tried to kill us?" Bonney creamed at his immobile form.

"Wow," Alvida commented. "You're even more beastly than I first thought. Although, it wasn't me who gave the-"

"You shut up!" Bonney shouted in her direction, reaching down to pick Luffy up. "And you, beat the shit out of these guys!"

"Why, they're being so nice right now!" Luffy laughed, just before a bulled whizzed between them. "I stand corrected."

That single gunshot from Alvida was enough of a signal for her men to attack. She missed on purpose, already expecting the two intruders to have a few tricks up their sleeves. It would be easier to let her cannon fodder crew expose them. If she was correct, they were just like her. So, she stayed back to watch the fight.

The first to rush the duo was the first mate himself, wielding a large battle axe. He confidently swung it horizontally, hoping to decapitate them before they could even think of fighting back. However, both saw it coming. Bonney ducked and rolled to the side, uppercutting a pirate who'd been aiming a rifle at them. Luffy, on the other hand, had a better idea.

Time seemed to slow down as the blade neared his neck, but it never reached its destination. In a single fluid motion, Luffy rotated around the weapon, raised a fist, and smashed it down on the axe, breaking through the thick metal. Using the man's surprise to his advantage, he then sucker punched him in the gut hard enough to send him crashing through the wooden railing and into the ocean.

The next second, another gunshot was heard, the source being Bonney. She'd nicked a pair of flintlock pistols off an enemy after downing him with a kick to the junk, and was now using them to thin out the herd of thugs. Whereas Luffy preferred to fight with his bare hands, Bonney's combat style included weaving through the battlefield, using anything and everything as a weapon. The only rule, which she promised to Luffy, was to never land a fatal blow of any kind. Neither of them wanted to be murderers. Although, that didn't mean she couldn't cause a lot of pain, as was evident by the man with a bleeding hole in his shoulder.

Her next two rounds buried themselves in the thighs of another pirate, causing him to drop to his knees. A kick to the face later, and she moving on. Holding up one gun block an overhead sing from a saber, she used the other to fire into his stomach. One after another, enemies dropped like flies, her twisted smile the last thing they saw before passing out. When she ran out of ammo, she dropped the pistols and grabbed a rifle, never slowing down in her quest to eliminate every last pirate on this ship.

All the while, Luffy was fairing just as well. In fact, these losers were so weak that he didn't even have to use his powers. His own raw strength was enough to finish most of them off. He used his natural agility and flexibility to dance around the blades and bullets sent his way, flowing between them like water. Some of the strikes came close enough to barely graze his skin, but they all inevitably missed and were met by violent counterattacks.

Alvida observed the one-sided fight with intrigue. The two teenagers were obviously outnumbered at twenty-five to one, yet they were tearing apart these hardened criminals like tissue paper. "They simply can't be human," she mumbled, a sly grin overtaking her features. "I think it's time for me to join the fun."

As the final grunt fell, his face showing an imprint of four knuckles, Luffy stopped to survey the aftermath. "Phew!" he sighed, taking off his hat and sitting on a barrel. "That was really fun!"

Blowing the smoke out of her current pistol, Bonney turned to make a comment about Luffy being stupid, but stopped when she saw Alvida behind him. In her right hand, she held a giant black club with spikes covering it, and it looked like she was getting ready to smash Luffy's brains in. Thinking fast, Bonney aimed and fired at the opposing woman.

In an unexpected turn of events, the moment the bullet made contact with her stomach, it slid off and continued into a wall. With nothing to impede her, Alvida brought her weapon down on the unsuspecting teen's head. Upon impact, Luffy's head exploded, the rest of his body collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Alvida was slightly surprised, but more disappointed than anything.

"Is that really all it took to kill him?" she remarked, glancing over at the look of horror Bonney was giving her. "What? You thought a simple bullet could stop me? I've got news for you, honey: I ate the Smooth-Smooth fruit, one of the cursed Devil Fruits. My skin is so smooth that attacks merely slide off, and the most I feel is a slight tickle. Honestly, I expected more from your little friend here, but I guess he's-"

"I'm what?"

The look of horror on Bonney's face morphed into one of triumph. Of course she knew that a single blow like that couldn't kill her captain. She just needed to distract Alvida long enough for Luffy to reform and catch her off guard.

Said woman spun around, taking a step back upon seeing the boy she thought she crushed. "What? How are you still alive?!"

Luffy chuckled and held up his left arm, turning it crustal clear in an instant. "I ate a Devil Fruit, too," he said happily. "The Water-Water fruit. My entire body is made of water, so your cheap sneak attacks won't work on me."

Regaining her composure, Alvida tightened her grip on her iron club. "So what if you can't be touched? That just means we're at a stalemate!"

"No really," Luffy replied, his other arm liquefying as well. "Aqua Prison!"

Thrusting his palms forward, a large torrent of water surged toward the arrogant pirate. It engulfed her entirely, sapping her strength as it did. As the initial blast subsided, what remained were five binding rings that immobilized the woman. Her arms were bound to her sides and her legs were just as stuck together. The feeling of weakness didn't disappear, though, leaving the once-proud captain lying at Luffy's feet in defeat.

"How?" she whimpered. "How could I be beaten so easily?"

Just to rub salt in her wounds, Bonney strolled over and sat on her back. "There's a saying from our hometown that you really should learn," she informed her seat.

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"No matter how strong you are," she quoted, smiling up at Luffy. "There's always a bigger fish."

POST NOTE:

That is another chapter down. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this one, to be honest. I even laughed at a few of my own jokes (How pathetic is that?")

On the topic of Bonney's vulgarity, I just see her as the kind of person who curses more when she gets pissed. That's just my opinion.

As always, I thrive on reviews, whether they be simple praise, questions, or criticisms. How do you think I'm doing with this? Do you think I could do better? All criticism is accepted! You can even PM me if you don't feel comfortable with everyone seeing your review. That's your prerogative, man. (Or girl)

On a final note, feel free to inform me if you see any Typos that are getting on your nerves. I strive to make this story the best piece of amateur garbage possible, but even i can't catcheverything. Just foos for thoughti

Well, this is Gambler signing off until next time. Later!