See Chapter One for Disclaimers.
Notes: Due to all the wonderful reviews, here is the next chapter. Once again, please stick with me until the end. You might be shocked along the way, but not disappointed.
The next morning found Harm and Mac sitting in the comfortable office of the school's psychiatrist, Dr. Eliza Crimmins and Lucy's teacher Mrs. Connors. They were both tired and tense given the previous nights horrible events but they were ready now to focus on Lucy.
"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, I'm Dr. Crimmins and you know Mrs. Connors. I suppose you are wondering why we've called you here with such urgency," the dark haired woman began.
"Yes, we are," said Mac.
"We've been concerned about Lucy for awhile now...she's seems sullen, withdrawn...but our primary concern comes in her artwork," Dr. Crimmins explained.
Harm feared he knew where this was heading. "What has her artwork contained lately?" he asked.
"Most of it is...odd," Mrs. Connors began. "Mrs. Rabb, you are not included with the family in most of her pictures." The teacher showed Mac a picture of the family, Lucy was in Harm's arms, DJ at his side, even Colleen was there, Mac however was off to the side.
Mac cringed at the sight of the drawing. "That's probably because she's afraid I'll leave her," she said. "I have a chronic illness and she's been afraid for months now that I'd die from it and leave her."
"Have you discussed your illness with her, Mrs. Rabb?" Dr. Crimmins asked. "Children need to feel secure and Lucy well...it is clear that she does not."
He looked at the floor before finding the words he needed to explain the situation. "My wife and I have been experiencing some problems as of late," he said. "We're seeing a therapist and trying to work through them, but we know Lucy is aware of the tension between us."
"And she's no doubt responding to it," Dr. Crimmins sighed. "Yesterday there was an altercation between Lucy and another student on the playground. Lucy is normally a docile child, but she knocked the child down and well it all ended with her in tears. We sent you a note about it. Actually, we've sent you five or six notes, but you've not responded to any of them."
Mac and Harm looked at one another. "Uh, we've not gotten any notes, doctor," said Harm. "When was the first note sent home?"
"The third week of school," Mrs. Connors replied. "When Lucy told us that her parents had gone to Russia for the weekend."
Again, Harm and Mac looked at each other, and then it occurred to both of them that the weekend in question was when Mac had nearly bled to death on the bathroom floor. "Oh, yeah," said Harm. "We weren't in Russia, that's just what our friend told the kids when they woke up and we weren't there one Saturday morning. We'd been at the hospital all night because of a complication from my wife's condition, and AJ - our friend who came and stayed with the kids - told them the first thing he could think of when they asked where we were."
"Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, if you cannot provide a safe and secure environment for Lucy..."
"Whoa, hey, wait a minute," said Harm. "Things aren't the best between the two of us right now, but we take excellent care of both our children."
"Don't take this situation any further than necessary, doctor," said Mac. "We can handle it."
"Mrs. Rabb, Lucy is behind every other child in her class," Mrs. Connors said. "She's non communicative most of the time and we I ask her why she says...two weeks ago, Mr. Rabb, Lucy told us she didn't have a Daddy anymore. Then the next day, she talked about you like you were David Farragut himself. This is a child who is clearly experiencing a severe psychological problem and by the looks of things you are not handling it very well."
"No, apparently we're not," said Harm. "Tell it to us straight, please, does our daughter need to see a therapist?"
"I would like to speak with her once a week," Dr. Crimmins began. "I think she has a lot of unresolved and suppressed anger as well as some security issues. If you'd sign this form I can begin talking to her tomorrow assuming of course you talk to her tonight."
The couple looked at each other yet again, and then Mac reached for the pen and paper the doctor was offering. "That'll be fine," she said. "We'll talk with Lucy tonight and you can begin seeing her tomorrow. Was there anything else you needed to speak with us about?"
"Not at this time," Dr. Crimmins replied. "Thank you for coming in."
"Thank you, doctor," said Harm as he offered a handshake. "Mrs. Connors," he said, extending his hand to her next.
The teacher shook Harm's hand as well as Mac's. Then the couple left the office and headed to their car.
"Well that was enlightening," said Harm as they left the parking lot.
"What are we going to do?" she asked him. "She's not just...Harm, she's been lying to us, hiding things...What are we going to do?"
"We're going to talk to her tonight," he said. "And let her know that she's going to be seeing a special doctor just like the kind you and I are seeing. She'll understand that, and let's hope Dr. Crimmins can help her. This isn't good for her."
"Yes, well," Mac studied her hands and trailed off.
Harm adjusted his sunglasses and continued to drive in silence. No sense in getting into an argument that neither could win. The remainder of the drive passed in silence, as had become commonplace lately.
The work day dragged for them both, but finally it was time to go home. Mac wanted Harm to go on his quals, she needed the space, she needed to miss him, and if he was away well that would work. Mac drove the children home with her from Harriet's, surprised to find Harm home all ready when she arrived.
"Hey, guys," said Harm to the children as they came into the living room.
"Hi, Daddy," Lucy greeted while DJ toddled over for a hug.
"Why don't you go put your things in your room and wash up for dinner, okay?" he asked Lucy.
"Okay," Lucy replied and went to do as she was asked.
Mac looked at Harm, "When are you leaving?"
"0400 tomorrow," he replied. "I brought home Mexican for dinner. You hungry?"
"A bit," Mac replied. "When do we talk to her? I want to...we're going to have to punish her for hiding the notes and so on."
"After bath time," he said, rising from his chair and going to warm up the food. "Before bed, we'll talk with her."
"Harm?" Mac said softly as he moved to the kitchen.
"Yeah?" he replied, unwrapping the tacos.
"I made you...you were crying last night," Mac began. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, at least...I don't...even though I hate you at times for what you've done, I do love you, that's why this is so hard."
He looked up at her, stopped what he was doing with the food, and turned to face her entirely. "So are you saying there's still hope for us?"
"No, but I'm not saying there's not either," she replied. "Let's just work with that. Did the mail come?"
"Yeah," he replied, his voice a bit dejected but hopeful at the same time. "It's on the end table."
Mac picked up the pile of mail and started looking through it. She looked at a large manila envelop, the return address reading, Baltimore Presbyterian Hospital, a renowned cancer facility. "Harm, what is this? Are you sick?" she asked, going into worry mode quickly.
"What's what?" he asked, looking over at the envelope in her hand, an immediate wave of panic coming over him. He'd meant to hide that piece of mail from her; it wasn't anything she needed to see. "Oh, uh, no, I'm not sick. Don't worry about it."
"Baltimore Pres is a cancer hospital, Harm," Mac replied. "Why are you getting mail from them?"
"Because..." he began, torn between making something up and telling her the truth. Remembering his promise never to lie to her again, he took a deep breath and answered her with complete honesty. "Because Annie asked them to send that to me. It's just a picture. You can look at it if you want, but that's all it is."
"I have no desire to look at this," Mac sighed and set it down on the table. "Can I help?"
"You can dish out the rice and beans if you'd like to," he said, handing her the Styrofoam containers. He felt bad that she knew that Annie had ordered that picture sent to him, but he felt good for being honest with Mac and knowing that he wouldn't have to back peddle in the future if she happened to find that picture.
"Oh, did you look at it yet?" Mac asked him setting the envelope down.
"Just for a second," he answered a little apprehensively.
"And?" Mac inquired moving to assist him with dinner. She knew seeing ultrasounds always made him tear up, at least their ultrasounds.
"I didn't feel anything," he said, his voice a mixture of surprise and relief. "I've just got this feeling that that kid isn't mine, Mac. Bottom line; that's how I feel."
"Wishful thinking," she sighed as she put plates out for the children's dinner. "Lucy, DJ!" she called.
The children scampered out of the bathroom, "Here Mommy," Lucy said holding her brother's hand. "What's to eat?"
"Tacos," said Harm. "With beans and rice. Looks good, huh?"
"I don't want that," Lucy said while DJ said, "Ummy!" and reached up to be put into his high chair.
"Well, then you can just sit with us while we eat," said Harm. Lucy knew the house rule about meals - you ate what was served or you went hungry. At first he thought it was a little harsh on such young children, but he quickly realized that they knew they'd get hungry later if they refused to eat at mealtimes, and most often they'd at least nibble a little at their meal.
Mac lifted DJ and put him in his chair. She took his taco apart for him making sure the chicken was small enough so he wouldn't burn his tongue. Harm held Lucy's chair while she got in and after half the meal was spent pouting she did begin to nibble at her meal until it was gone.
The meal itself held the regular chatter of DJ, but the rest of the family sat in tense silence until once his dinner was gone, DJ announced, "Mommy, peepee."
"Good boy, DJ," Mac praised. "Let's go do that," she lifted him out of his seat and took him off to the bathroom leaving Lucy and Harm alone.
Harm turned to his daughter. "Lucy Bear, after have bath time and we're all ready for bed, Mommy and I need to talk to you, okay?"
"No," she said firmly. "I don't wanna talk about that stuff anymore. Mommy made me before and I didn't wanna and I don't wanna now."
He knew this was going to be an uphill battle, but it had to be fought regardless. "We won't make you talk about any of those things, I promise," he said. "Mommy and I will talk and all you have to do is listen, okay?"
"Okay," Lucy replied. "Daddy?"
"Yes, baby?" he replied.
"Last night I heard you and Mommy talking about...are you not coming to Grams' house?" she asked with her head tilted to the side in innocent inquisition.
"I'm going to Grams' house, Button," he insisted. "I have to go fly some planes for a couple of days before we go, but I'll still get to go with you and DJ and Mommy to see Grams."
"What planes?" Lucy asked. "Like DJ's?"
"Kind of," said Harm. "They're called Hornets; they're a little different than the ones DJ has, but not too much."
"Do you fly them good?" she asked. Lucy heard all the time about crashes and pilot error during the course of a hundred conversations between her parents and their colleagues.
"I sure do," he answered with a smile, hoping once more to be his little girl's hero.
"Good," Lucy replied and slipped out of her chair. She stood next to her father and waited. She knew she'd been being bad, but she didn't know how to stop herself. She just hoped her Daddy could still love her and forgive her. KC said that he would, but Jessie said he'd swat her. Lucy wasn't sure who to believe. She hoped KC was telling the truth because while she didn't know what a swat was she was pretty sure she didn't want to get one.
Harm turned and looked at Lucy. "Can Daddy have a hug, Lucy Bear?" he asked her as he opened his arms.
Lucy smiled and went to her Daddy's arms, "Daddy?" she said again after a minute.
"Mm-hmm?" he replied.
"Can we ride Peanuts at Grams' house?" Lucy asked still cuddling with her Daddy.
"I'm sure Grams' has already told Peanuts that you're coming," said Harm. "And I bet he's just as happy as a horse can be."
"Good," Lucy smiled as Mac called from the bathroom, "Harm?"
"Yeah?" he called down the hall from his seat at the table.
"Can you get her ready for her bath?" Mac asked. "We were a little too late so I'm going to do them early."
"Sure," he replied. "Let's go get ready for a bath," he said to the little girl.
"Then we got to talk right?" Lucy asked confirming the coming discussion, hoping her Daddy would say no now that they hugged and all.
"Well, Mommy and I will talk," he said. "All you have to do is listen, remember?"
"Yes, but I still have to be there," she sighed starting to pout all ready.
"Yes, that's true," he said. "But we won't talk very long and then I'll sing you your sleepy song, okay?"
"Okay," she replied and obediently went with her Daddy to get her bath.
Ninety minutes later DJ was dozing in the recliner after eating his dessert and Mac joined Harm with Lucy in tow. "Sit down Baby," she told her. "Next to me and Daddy."
The child did as she was asked. "I just hafta listen, right?"
"That's right," said Harm.
"Lucy, Mommy and Daddy went to your school today and we had a meeting there with Mrs. Connors and Dr. Crimmins. Do you know who she is?" Mac asked a question requiring only a yes or no answer.
"No," said Lucy.
"Well, she's a doctor at the school," Mac replied. "And they...they told us some things that... Lucy, did Mrs. Connors ever give you letters to bring home to me and Daddy?"
"Yes," answered the child, her eyes growing wide as she feared she was in trouble.
"Do you still have them?" Mac asked her. She wanted to read the letters to make this real.
"Yes," replied Lucy. "In my book bag."
"Can you bring them to me please?" Mac asked her.
Lucy slowly rose from her place between her parents, went to retrieve her book bag, and returned a few moments later, handing the entire bag to her mother.
Mac took the bag and went through it finally coming up with all five letters. She set them on the table and put the bag down. She looked at Harm. If he told Lucy she only had to listen, it was going to be his job to figure out how to get her to tell them why she hid those letters.
"Lucy," he began. "You knew better than to hide these from us, didn't you?"
Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."
"I think you know so," he said. "But since I promised you that you wouldn't have to talk tonight, we'll wait and talk about this a little later. What we need to tell you tonight, though, is that starting tomorrow you're going to get to see a special doctor, like the one Mommy and I are seeing to make our hurt feelings all better."
"But I don't have hurt feelings," Lucy said. "I don't want to see a doctor. I don't need to."
"Well, I think you'll like her," said Harm gently. "She'll let you do fun things, like finger-painting and playing with puppets."
"Can you come with me?" Lucy asked him.
"Maybe some of the time I can," he said. "But tomorrow will just be for you. You can tell Mommy all about it when you come home, okay?"
"I want you to come with me," Lucy insisted.
"I can't do that, Button," he said. "Daddy has to leave very early in the morning to go fly the airplanes we talked about."
"Then I'm not going," Lucy declared firmly.
"Yes, you are," said Harm in a firm yet gentle tone. "You can tell me all about it when I call you tomorrow before bed."
"I am not!" she shot back at him. "And you can't make me!"
"Lucille Patricia," Mac warned.
"Lucy," said Harm. "You have to go tomorrow and spend some time with just you and Dr. Crimmins. After that, if you'd like us to, Mommy and I will see if we can go with you sometimes."
"I don't want to go," Lucy said again. "I don't want to! I don't want to!" she shouted over and over again. "And I'm not going to!"
"Lucy, sweetie," he said, trying to placate his daughter. "You have to go. This isn't something you can say you don't want to go to. You have to go."
"Daddy's right, Lucy," Mac told her. "Mommy and Daddy don't always like doing something but we have to do it and you have to do this. There are no options."
Lucy slid off the couch just then and started to walk off in a huff. She stopped a few feet away and turned back to her father. "I'm mad at you and I don't love you anymore!" she spat, then turned around and took off towards her room.
Mac sighed and folded her hands in her lap, "Well that went well."
"Yeah," he replied sarcastically. "At least she didn't say she hates you. I'm...I think I'll go take a hot shower or something. Clear my head."
"She didn't say she hated you," Mac told him, arguing semantics as she would in court.
"Hates me, doesn't love me anymore," he said. "Six of one, half dozen of the other. I'll be in the bathroom if you need me." With that, he walked off, the ache in his heart hanging over him like a storm cloud.
Mac sighed, her heart torn. Her husband was hurting in one room and her baby in another. Her son was conked out on the couch. Mac lifted the boy and set him in bed before she went to Lucy's room. "Lucy?" she said softly at the door when she saw the little girl lying in bed.
"Sleepy..." mumbled the little girl.
"Baby, Mommy...Would you like to go say sorry to Daddy before you go to sleep? His feelings are very hurt," she said gently.
"Nuh-uh," said the child, hugging her beloved Pooh Bear a little tighter. "I'm going to sleep now."
"She's Harm's child," Mac thought to herself. "Okay, maybe in the morning. Mommy loves you Baby. So does Daddy. Goodnight."
"Night..." mumbled Lucy, and without another word, she drifted off to sleep.
Mac went to the master bedroom and waited for Harm to get out of the shower. She sat in bed reading her Tom Clancy, or at least pretending to read it until he came out, perhaps looking worse than when he went in.
With a sigh, he flopped down on the bed, knowing that it was Mac's turn to have the bed to herself, but not feeling like being alone in the guest room just then.
"Harm, you know she didn't mean it," Mac said touching his shoulder lightly.
He nodded just a little.
"Do you want to talk?" Mac asked. She'd hurt him so badly last night and now their daughter had as well.
"No," he said, his voice almost a whisper.
"Do you want...do you want something to drink or a snack?" Mac asked. She didn't know what to offer him to make him feel better.
"No," he said again. "Mac, please...I just need to think."
"Harm...I know you're feelings are hurt but...What I mean is...We're supposed to talk remember?" she tried his tactic on him.
He looked over at her. "I know we are," he said softly. "But we just can't seem to get the hang of that, can we? It always ends in another fight, and I can't handle any more of the people I love telling me how much I've hurt them or how much they hate me right now."
Mac didn't say anything she just set her book aside and slid a bit closer putting one arm around him, trying to offer him the love he was starving for.
"I don't know what to do anymore," he said as a lump arose in his throat.
"Want to just do this for a bit?" she asked him.
"Honestly," he said as he moved away from her. "No, I don't. I wish I did, but after last night, I...I just don't."
"I said I was sorry," Mac replied.
"I've said I'm sorry countless times, Mac," he replied. "And it hasn't seemed to count for jack. All those things you said last night, about hating me and about how we're not going to make it, you never said you didn't mean them. I guess that means you do, huh?"
"I'm sorry," she said again studying his back, the tense muscles there.
"Still can't say you didn't mean what you said," he replied. "Guess that answers that question." He rose from the bed, taking his pillow and heading for the guest room. He wanted to be alone with his pain.
He laid on his bed, in the dark for almost an hour as he thought about all the things that were wrong in his life. Sure, there were many things that were right, such as his job, his friends, his grandmother; but it seemed for every right thing, there were ten that were so very wrong. His wife couldn't decide if she loved him, hated him or anything in between. His daughter; pretty much the same thing. He was trying to help her, but she couldn't see it through her anger and confusion. His friends were there for him and had been true Godsends since everything began to unravel, but even they had feelings towards him and about what he did that he wasn't sure they'd ever get past.
He rolled out of bed and turned on the desk lamp, figuring since he wasn't sleeping, he might as well get a head start on packing. He had to leave the house at 0400, and it was only 2245, but maybe doing something would make him sleepy. He went to the closet and pulled out his garment bag, the one he always took TAD. He then went about setting out the few clothing items he'd need for the two days he'd be gone, and he realized his uniform socks were in the load still in the dryer. With a sigh, he went carefully down the hall, hoping not to awaken the kids or Mac, if she was even asleep. On his way past the dining room, he spied the manila envelope that Mac had tossed on the end of the table earlier in the evening. He walked past, then stopped, thought for a second, and turned around.
He took the envelope in his hands, and without much thought, he reached inside and pulled out the only content, a small, black and white ultrasound photo. Sliding into a chair, he studied the photo for a number of minutes. He couldn't make out very many things, just the pale spot where the baby's tiny heart was beating. As he looked upon the picture and thought about the little life it represented, he began to feel guilty. He couldn't be sure that the baby even belonged to him, and every fiber of his being told him that it didn't, but still this little one was caught in the middle of a very sad situation.
It was a completely innocent victim of the very poor choice of two people, since whether or not it belonged to him, the fact that he'd been with the child's mother at all is what put the baby in the middle in the first place. "I'm so sorry, little one," he said aloud, so consumed in thought that he didn't hear Mac coming around the corner.
Mac saw him looking at an ultrasound picture and at first thought given the event of the night it was Lucy's. "She knows you're sorry, Harm," Mac said softly as she sat next to him. "She'll forget all about it by tomorrow.
He jumped as he realized she was there. "Oh," he said. "Uh, yeah."
"Wouldn't it be great sometimes if they could stay that little?" Mac asked. "Not that she didn't cause trouble in the womb."
"Yeah, she did," he agreed. "But this, uh..." If she figured out that the picture wasn't of Lucy, or of DJ for that matter, she'd come unglued. He didn't know what to say.
"Is that the one you were there for?" Mac asked trying to see the date on the photoscan. She really didn't believe it was Lucy's, she just really wanted to.
"Mac," he said quietly. "This is, uh, this...isn't Lucy."
"Is it too much to hope that it's DJ?" she asked with a sigh.
He'd hurt her again and he knew it. "Sorry," he said his voice still low and quiet.
Mac reached for the picture. "May I?"
Mac did neither. She examined the photo with a critical eye looking for any indications of the sex if it was there that would mean it wasn't Harm's baby only it wasn't. "It looks good," Mac said. "Normal and all best I can tell."
Again, he nodded. "I don't expect you to care about this baby," he said. "Not until we find out if...hell, not even then, really. I don't want you to feel any obligation if it turns out to be mine, Mac."
"If this baby is yours and we manage to work through this...none of this is that baby's fault," Mac sighed. "None of it is Lucy's fault or DJ's."
"I know," he said, leaning back in his chair, running his hands over his face. "I'm almost thinking...maybe it'd be a good idea if I was at the hospital when it's born - just in the hospital, not anywhere near...her. They could do the DNA test as soon as possible and we'd have an answer."
"Harm, if that baby is yours and you didn't see it born you'd never forgive yourself," Mac sighed. "But hopefully we'll have one of our own right behind it."
He felt a huge ray of hope enter the conversation as Mac spoke. "So you still want to try for another one?" he asked, astonished that she was still considering that given the
previous evening's altercation.
"I want another baby, Harm," Mac said. "I was thinking though about AI or in vitro...you know."
"I thought Dr. Bradley said we could try naturally in a couple months," he said.
"He did but...Harm, after this last cycle...I've never been in such pain before..." She said it as if he didn't know.
"Yeah, this last one was bad," he agreed softly. "I'll do whatever you want to do, however and whenever, but don't you think we should make sure we're...you know...definitely going to be 'okay' before we try? I mean, I think we'll get there somehow, but I know you've got some doubts..."
"So many doubts," she sighed. "I just...I was thinking of trying more aggressive treatments first that's all to save time. And it might never happen you know? Then you'll need this little baby to get your family like you want it."
"Whoa, let's slow down a little," he said adamantly. "We don't know if that baby is mine or not, and we won't know for at least a week after it's born unless we can get the lab to put a rush on the test, which isn't very likely. Even if it is, that's not the way I want to build my family, our family. I'd be the best father I could be to that baby, but that baby would in no way replace the next one I want to have with you, Mac."
"It may have to," Mac sighed. "If we don't...Harm, if the baby is yours will you...?"
"Fight Annie for custody?" he said, knowing that's the question Mac was asking. "I don't know that I could win sole custody, though I could play the insanity card as far as she goes... If it turns out that the baby is mine, and we're still...still together then, what would you want me to do?"
She reached out and touched his chest lightly, "Go with your heart, Harm. That's all I've ever wanted you to do. And that's what I'm doing now, and was doing last night. My heart is confused Harm and so is my head."
"Those things you said last night, was that your head speaking, or your heart?" he asked.
Tears spilled out of her eyes as he asked that question because she knew what the answer would do to him. "Can you tell me how that felt?" she asked to avoid replying.
"How do you think I felt?" he asked, his voice finding a sudden edge. "You told me you hated me, Mac! That didn't exactly give me warm fuzzies!"
"I didn't say I hated you exactly," Mac said softly.
"Like hell you didn't!" he spat. "You said you hated me too much last night to say that you still loved me at all! Don't sit there and tell me what you said; I remember! I knew this conversation here was going too well to last very long..."
"I didn't mean it like that, I..." she began as the tears fell over her eyes.
"Then what did you mean, Mac?" he asked, his voice cracking as the pain welled up inside him again. "I mean, Christ, we can't even have a civil conversation for more than ten minutes anymore - either you get pissed or I do, and we end up doing this... I'm beginning to think maybe you're right, maybe we're not going to survive this." He abruptly stood up from his chair and stormed into the living room.
Mac followed him, "Keep your voice down you'll wake the children!" she hissed. "The last thing they need to see is their father acting like a two year old!"
"Fine," he said heading towards the front door. "Let's take it outside!"
"What are you going to do out there, huh?" Mac asked. "Yell at me? Make this my fault like you have been? You're worse than my father you know that? At least he had an excuse."
"I'm not making this your fault," he said, his anger rising by the minute. "I've never once, through this whole stupid ass situation, said this was anyone's fault but mine! No matter how mad I get - and in case you couldn't tell, I'm pretty damn mad right now - I never say you're to blame for what I did, and don't you dare compare me to your father because I'm way more of a man than he ever was!" By this point, Harm felt like he was standing outside of his body, watching a mad man yell at his wife.
"Some man," Mac replied. "I don't know who you are anymore Harm, but you are not the man I married. That man was kind, decent and honest, now...You're a cheat, a liar and I can't think of anything that's bad enough to call you!" She bit out on a sob. "You stand there and yell at me all the while proclaiming my innocence when I know you think yourself justified because in a way think it too, but instead of saying it you hide behind sweet words and crocodile tears. I was beginning to think that I'd spoken in haste last night now I know I didn't. I don't love the person you are anymore Harm. I don't even like him." With that she turned and went back inside needing to get away and hide, lick her wounds and take appropriate action.
He followed behind her, realizing that he'd pushed her too far and really hurt her again. "Hey, come back here," he said as he stayed several feet behind her all the way to their bedroom door. "Listen, I-" was all he got out before she entered their room and shut the door forcibly in his face.
It was 0355 when he carried his garment bag and his brief case out to the kitchen. Setting them quietly on the floor, he turned on the tiny light near the stove, opened the drawer and dug out a pad and a pen. He scribbled a few words and left both paper and pen out on the counter for Mac to find. Turning off the light and taking up his luggage, he was out the door at 0400 sharp.
Mac awoke at six o'clock having only fallen asleep when she heard Harm leave two hours before. She got up, tended to her needs, and then went to wake up the kids. As she passed by the kitchen the paper Harm had left his note on caught her eye. She went to it, knowing it would be an apology, one she'd accept. She owed him one as well, after what she'd done to him, after what she'd said. Thankfully, they'd have four days with Grams to work on that.
When Mac lifted the paper though, she didn't see an apology or an "I love you." What she did see broke her heart. It read, "Mac, I know you're right now. We're over. I'm just going to have to live with that. Have Sturgis or Bud draw up the papers. H-"