So I'm really enjoying writing this so far so why not give it another update, Why not?

Not much to say but enjoy the chapter!

Commence -

Obligatory Backstory

"So son, How was your day? Get any targets?" Stoick tried when Hiccup walked through the door. (They had their house redone in the afterlife, because it was a frankly awesome house. Of course they updated with the times but the Nordic influence was still there!)

"Yes actually." Hiccup replied curtly, though if he was planning on being curt, a no would have ended the conversation quicker. Don't get him wrong, Hiccup loves his father, It's just when it comes to his 'job' as his dad puts it (what part of "cursed for eternity" doesn't he understand?) They don't really see eye to eye.

"That's great son, now, please tell me you're actually going to try this time?" His father put it. If Hiccup was a curse and thus desensitised to death, His father, literally being death, was definitely nonchalant about the whole 'life' thing. In fact Stoicks viewpoint is that if you get a job, no matter how 'bad' it might be, give it you're all and find the enjoyment in it. So in essence Stoick takes joy in keeping the population down… In the least sadistic way possible.

From Stoicks viewpoint he's merely a ferryman, taking people to the afterlife. He takes life so others can have a go. If nobody died, where would the world be? An odd but undeniably optimistic view on being death.

Hiccup however didn't get thrust into his 'job' by his personality. (Thats how they choose what you do if you're asking) He was cursed, so he skips the hiring phase and gets right down to it. His father, disappointed that he was solely responsible for the fall of their tribe and most of Viking culture... (... More on that later.) Tries to see the good in Hiccups situation and as he puts it Hiccup should be "Enthusiastic" about still getting to interact with the human world or that his job is "One of a kind" so he should see the good in it.

Hiccup doesn't share his optimism. He is cursed. It sucks. He kills people (And thus he has to interact with his dads minions when working.) If he doesn't kill his targets his mind gets taken over and he becomes a raging monster until he does kill them. He finds it hard to be enthusiastic about that.

"Oh I did try dad. Only to get my ass handed too me!" Hiccup replied finally after his internal musings. He was not about to go into detail about how one of them beat the shit out of him. His dad seemed to pick up on it though.

"Maybe you should do self defence? Like I suggested multiple times, If you're in this job you might as well give it your all. Being able to actually fight would make you more intimidating, it would increase your performance… Help your entrance. It would really make for a good-" Stoick didn't finish his tangent.

"Dad we've been over this like a hundred times, your argument is getting redundant. I'm not a killer, thus I'm not very good at killing, and I'm not going to learn how to be something I'm not. End of story." He answered firmly. The conversation dropped into a lull as Stoick returned to reading the 'Ghostly Times'. Hiccup drummed his fingers on the table for a few moments before he thought of something to dig them out of this silent rut.

"So… Where's mom?" He asked slowly.

"Travelling." Stoick supplied simply. Hiccup sighed because wow that was a fucking surprise. Sky spirits. Always travelling. He sighed again and slowly retreated to his room to occupy himself a little before he was forced to go on the job again.

-0-

I'm sure the question has come up by now: "When are we getting the backstory with the witch, how did you become a dreaded curse and what was that about the fall of Viking Culture oh handsome and fearsome one?" I'm sure it was in that exact wording too. I could answer that question right now! Am I going too?

Yes…

You're in luck because I'm bored okay, usually that was the part for a deadpan 'No' but like I said, you're in luck.

It was over one thousand years ago… Wait… Was it? It could've been. Shit... Let me start over.

It was roughly one thousand years ago that I, a young Viking boy, heir to the tribe and growing up in a time of economic decline for my people. My father sent me, a thus far rather uninspiring heir to go consult a hermit and known witch to see if they had any solutions.

I was a skeptical lad. Not one to believe in magic and thus went with a kind of dubious attitude. I was also a very sarcastic asshole. And well… Well you'll find out.

-0-

Hiccup climbed the long winding road towards the witch's hut. He could not believe he was being sent to do this. It was another ill thought out test his father tried to put him through to see if he could be "Viking" enough to be chieftan.

It was more likely going to be a failure in some way and he'd suffer humiliation for weeks maybe even months. Don't know how he would be a failure and humiliated being that he is alone almost half a day's walk from his home but life would find a way trust that much.

Also quick shout out to his dad for his help in setting this whole thing up but please note that he can fail pretty well on his own terms thanks. Help was not needed! He hiked the last part of his journey, to a clifftop overlooking his home village. Pretty good view, just… Not worth the climb.

He stumbled towards the very creepy looking hut that people rarely visited, ever. Probably because the whole 'magic' thing is a hoax to keep people away. His home was full of superstitious idiots. Not him of course, what is the worst she'd do, chant creepy words at him?

The world was full of material things, of rock and dirt and steel and air. magic seemed like it just wouldn't fit into this equation. Maybe the Gods had some or whatever but not in Midgard, humans simply didn't possess it.

These thoughts in mind he swung open the door casually and looked on unimpressed by all the 'magical' items that lay before him, okay, they weren't all magical. In the main room he entered into there were domestic items such as plates and bowls and all that, but there were also contraptions with string webbing to create some kind of tiny circle net… that was framed… (He later would know it was called a dreamcatcher)

There were also what appeared to be alchemy equipment, all the weird ingredients from plants and animals on the wall with vials and cauldrons located in the corner, oh and bookcases everywhere, some without books in them but instead random objects... Some had relics, others scrolls and totems, none which he deemed important, like, what was this one, some kind of pyramid thing with an eye on it? All part of the hoax he assumes.

He wandered around the creepy room until he came to the cauldron, which had something in it, some purple looking substance. The logical part of him reasoned it was some kind of brew (He's great at this. Really). However the idiot part of him (the more of an idiot part he means) decided it wanted to try it.

He dipped his finger in and picked up the thick liquid, he smelt it, it was herbal… Probably a medicine. He thought twice about trying it and shook it off and instead approached an ornate looking chest behind the nearest bookcase. He intended to peek inside it but before he had the chance a voice came from behind him in the dark, startling him immensely.

"You open that box it will be the last thing you ever do before a furious wraith rips you in two." it warned. He turned around with a start.

"My gods you scared me, wear a bell or something." He snarked, oh crap that wasn't the best start. This wasn't some oaf he could insult to no end and they still wouldn't catch on he was insulting them. This old woman had to be somewhat more intelligent.

"Perhaps you should instead, so you aren't tempted to snoop." She retorted, okay he deserved that. He tamed his tongue and replied more politely this time.

"Sorry, now uh, I've been sent here by my father, the Chief to address the whole 'nobody's coming to trade with us anymore' problem. Like, consult the Gods or something." Hiccup gestured to the roof by the end of his sentence. As if the Gods were in the rafters, if she were really magical, she'd have like, floating candles or the night sky inside the house or something.

"I see, trying times so you, the heir I presume, are sent to consult me, A witch, to see if I have a solution. Well… I may, but at a price." She said rubbing her old wrinkly hands together. Glint in her eye, his eyes however narrowed.

"Hold on hold on you're going to have to give me some kind of evidence that you can do something at all before we start discussing prices. I wasn't born yesterday, and with what I can see here, I'm unimpressed." He stated. She just expects golden longships and money bags off the cuff without any evidence? Foolish. However it seems his comment on her interior decorating wasn't taken too well either.

"Not very trusting in the arcane arts are we?" She snapped curtly.

"Well of course I am! when the invaders came from the south who was there to help us? Good ol' magic, trustworthy fellow he is. No it was not the strength of the vikings, not our superior tactics, 'twas magic, because magic is not known to conveniently disappear when it's needed or anything." He bit back sarcastically. So much for a tamed tongue, but he lost friends in that battle, granted he hid inside the whole time but not everyone was lucky enough to get inside, and here she has the audacity to imply he is a fool for his doubt.

"Well, maybe you need to be introduced." She said darkly as she scampered off to behind a bookcase.

"Oh typical, cryptic much?" Hiccup called out after her. Though if she did suddenly perform magic or whatever then she is pretty much instantly accountable for every bad thing that happened in his village that could have been averted if magic was used. Right?

He sauntered over to the other side of the room and she came back around about a minute later with a glass case of something and showed it to him. Yeah it was an empty glass case.

"Wow… Impressive, glass does exist, quite the miracle." He deadpanned before she hissed back.

"Just watch"

At that moment the box burst into light. In the centre of the box there was a small ball of fire. Hiccup stared. He was silent for a little before his mind started working against him.

"No… That, this is a trick, some kind of trick of the light." He said grabbing the box. Intending to see where she snuck in some kind of sulphur or something. She tried to pull the box back.

"Don't touch it, it's delicate." She snarled.

"Just show me how you kindled it" Hiccup replied as he tried to yank the box from her grasp.

He failed, and she tried to do the same thing to him, she also failed. They fought over it, they were evenly matched, frail old women, frail weak heir. It was a battle to behold. Two pathetic looking beings squabbling over a glorified candle.

Eventually, Hiccup managed to get the upper hand and with one final heave he flung it from her grasp… And backed into a bookcase, knocking it over… Shattering the glass case he was holding. Like he said, he can make a failure of himself pretty well, no help needed.

He didn't have time to mentally jump off a cliff at his dumbassery because the show wasn't over yet. He watched with a pained expression as the bookcase fell into another bookcase, breaking everything that was on that shelf as well, which then fell domino style into yet another bookcase, again shattering its contents.

And yet, yet even if one may have thought this was bad it gets worse. As at the end of this lovely performance of; 'Hiccup ruins everything again'. The final bookcase not only shattered the alchemy lab and destroyed the cauldron, but fell right on top of the ornate chest, crushing it completely.

There was a few seconds silence as Hiccup contemplated the many painful ways he was about to die, but even now. The shockwaves of his mistake we're not done yet. As from the crushed remains of the chest, there was a fizzling sound.

Hiccup moved forward slowly to investigate but that fizzle soon turned into a roar. And from the chests rubble a giant ghostly figure erupted and charged for the roof. Make that two, wait three. Okay there were a crap ton of spirits crashing through the roof of this old ladies hut. (Another thing that's broken, mind that.)

So not only was he proved embarrassingly wrong, not only did he wreck pretty much everything in this witch's house, but there was also an army of ghosts pouring into the world from his own doing. Go figure. Hiccup had really outdone himself this time. He let what could only be guessed was like the hundredth ghost charging through the roof when the rubble... Portal thing finally wavered and stopped shooting out phantoms.

Without turning back to the witch he walked towards the front door instead, opening it slowly. Watching to see where they were headed. He had a pretty good idea though. As he opened the door the sight was horrific but not unexpected as he saw a small army of invincible and evil spirits descending upon his village. The witch had walked up behind him, silent.

And so the witch and Hiccup stood on the clifftop and watched on helpless and rather calmly (especially for the situation) as the angry spirits ravaged the countryside below, burning houses and crops and forcing his tribe to flee to the ocean before his very eyes. There was a moment of silence before he heard something that changed his fate entirely.

"You're getting cursed for eternity." The witch said simply.

"You know what yeah fair enough." Said Hiccup as his last words, still watching his village burn as he died by the witches hand.

-0-

Yeah, I was a little shit back then. Okay not much has changed, but you can see that a thousand years is a little long to hold a grudge, right?

So yeah, I messed up big time. To say my father was disappointed was beyond a laughable understatement. But even he forgave me eventually. My mother just kind of shrugged it off as 'something anyone could of done' To which both my father and I laughed incredulously at.

Because not everyone can mess up that badly. I was a special brand of fuck up, he was class A, type 1, tier X whatever you want to categorise it as. I was the cream of the crop when it came to messing up those crops. You want something clumsily destroyed? Hiccup's your man. You want a situation made painfully awkward and no fun for anyone? You call me. You chant 'Night Fury five times in a mirror?' You're going to die.

Speaking of which, Should probably get back to the story aye. I have to check on my victims not don't I?

-0-

"Hiccup!" Boomed a voice from downstairs. His father no doubt.

"Yeah yeah I'm almost ready!" Hiccup yelled back putting on some clothes. (He's merely human in the light, and he is not going naked.) He threw on a clean shirt and bolted downstairs before his father broke his door down and dragged him out himself.

"I'm here dad chill, I'm leaving for work, so I'm going, relax" He called to his dad as he made his way to the door, his dad was not only uptight about his 'job', but he also likes to lock up the house when he leaves, and Hiccup has made him late as it is. (Yes, Stoick is aware that literally nobody steals as one can materialise whatever they want after death but who is anyone to argue with death)

He got out of the house just in time before his dad had a mental breakdown, seconds to spare it seems as his father's face was going redder every moment he delayed. After he avoided that dilemma he materialised down into the physical world. Another day on the job, yay. (He liked the long distances between jobs though, he didn't have to do this all that often and that was a blessing, every decade or two generally.) Nobody would be suspicious of a seventeen year old something literally appearing in a poof of smoke in an alleyway would they?

Well, nobody saw it so who even cares.

He walked out of the back street and headed straight towards his first target. He would today make an appearance and clear some things up with the 'fighter' whose name is Astrid. (Astrid Hofferson, born February fifth, 1999, seventeen. He knows a lot of things about his victims when they well... become his victims.)

Interesting fact, Hiccup doesn't do his job in the orthodox sense, what his father assumes is him hiding in dark corners and being all demon like (despite being a curse not a demon) and essentially turning his victims into raving lunatics before he kills them, he instead shows up and merely talks to them. Squares up the fact that he has to kill them and then makes their death as comfortable as he can.

He's like... Service with a smile… Wait that sounds sadistic. Death with Dandelions?... He talks to them often to soften the blow essentially. But first off, he doesn't want to get his ass handed to him as he tries to kill them because, well, not fun. So if he can get the most hardcore of the group to not shoot him on sight, then he has an easier job of killing them all. Again in the most non-sadistic and humane way possible. It's really hard being a curse with empathy alright.

He homes in on his target… Ahh, she's at home... Saturday, right. Well let's pretend this is not the first time he's ever been in a girls room and go talk to her shall he? He walked through the front door. (No like literally through it, it was closed, he can become physical or not at will by the way) and ascended the stairs to her room.

He sighed to himself as he got to her door.

This is going to be painful for him wasn't it. He entered to see his target doing pushups.

Yep. Probably.

Yep. Probably.

Well now you know how Hiccup became what he is.

He kind of opened a pandora's box type thing. Well done Hiccup, true genius. Anyways, i hope you enjoyed it, I need sleep.

Cya