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Harm raced to the hospital as fast as he could safely do so. He never caught up with the ambulance, so by the time he arrived Mac was already in the back.
"My wife is here," he said to the nurse at the desk. "Sarah Rabb; she came in an ambulance just a few minutes ago."
The nurse at the desk typed the name in the computer, "She's not in here, Sir."
"She has to be," he said. "I know this is where they brought her; check again!"
The nurse typed the name in and again came up with nothing. "Are you sure they brought her here?"
Harm rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. "Yes! I'm sure! Sarah Rabb,
S-A-R-A-H R-A-B-B!"
"Mr. Rabb," he heard the gentle voice of the paramedic who'd treated Sarah. "We took her in the back she probably doesn't have her in yet. Come with me."
Harm shot the nurse at the desk a wary stare as he went with the paramedic. "How is she?" he asked as he walked.
"She's still unconscious but the bleeding has slowed down for now," he replied. "Her pressure is still pretty low so they are giving her some blood to get it back up. Also, her abdomen is swollen and there's some guarding there. I think she's going to be here a few days this time, that's just my assessment after twenty years on the streets."
Harm nodded. "I think you're probably right about that. This has to stop, I don't know..."
"I'll tell you one thing, you're little girl quite probably saved your wife's life tonight," Ray told Harm. "She's such a brave little thing. She let us in, told us what happened, and I could even understand what she said. You should be proud of her."
"Oh, I am," said Harm without hesitation. "I hate that she had to witness this, but I'm so glad that she knew what to do."
"I've been to scenes where kids had to call 911 before but I've never gotten a bullet quite like that from a seven year old," Ray shook his head.
"Lucy's only five," said Harm, realizing once again how grown up his little girl was sometimes.
"All the more reason to be proud, of course as soon as we took over, she crawled under the table until Detective Simpson got her out," Ray told Harm. "Still she did the most important thing."
"Yes, she did," agreed Harm, looking over towards the admitting desk. "Think they've got her in the system yet?"
"She should be by now, my partner was supposed to get her run sheet off to admitting. She's in Trauma 3 though; you can wait here until the doctor comes out. They'll bring you forms before too long," Ray told the frightened and nervous husband.
"Do you think they might take her in for surgery right away?" asked Harm. "I mean, I'm not sure she even needs it right this second or if her doctor is here or anything, but this was so bad, you know?"
"I know and the ER doctor did page Dr. Bradley so he's on his way," Ray replied. "Why don't you sit down here and wait. I'm going to find Billy and then we're going to have to go. I hope everything works out for you both, Mr. Rabb."
"Thank you for everything you did for her today," said Harm, offering the kind-hearted medic his hand in appreciation.
"Just my job," he replied. "Still it's nice to be appreciated for what we do. You try and have a good holiday."
"I will," said Harm. "You do the same."
"Sure will," he smiled and left to find his partner.
Harm sat in the waiting area for what seemed like hours, waiting for someone to either call him up to the desk or call him to go and be with Mac. He stared out the window and watched people come and go; citizens, doctors, EMTs. He hoped his mom and Frank had things covered at home. He felt guilty for leaving them to deal with the scene and with the kids under such strenuous circumstances, but he knew he didn't have a choice. Finally the double door leading to the ER opened and a nurse with a clipboard called out "Sarah Rabb?" He immediately stood up and went towards her.
"Are you with Sarah Rabb?" the woman asked Harm.
He nodded. "I'm her husband. Is she okay?"
"We're doing all we can, Mr. Rabb. She's doing better than she was and her OBGYN is in with her now. She's starting to come around a bit now and she's asked about someone named Lucy. Is she here?" the nurse asked him.
He shook his head. "No, that's our little girl. She's at home with my folks."
"She seems very upset about her. She keeps asking where she is," the nurse replied. "What should I tell her?"
"I'd like to go talk to her," said Harm. "When she gets like this, I'm really the only person who can calm her down and I don't want her getting worked up about anything."
"You aren't allowed to go back there," the nurse replied. "We just wanted to get this Lucy for her to get her to stop being so agitated."
"Precisely why I want to go back there," said Harm, growing a bit agitated himself. "Lucy isn't here and won't be here, and I'm the only person my wife will respond to right now. I need to go back there, miss."
"I'll check with her doctor," she replied and turned to check with Mac's physicians.
Two minutes later, Dr. Bradley himself appeared to talk to Harm. "How you doing, Harm?" he asked, his use of Harm's first name frightening him.
"I'm, uh, I've been better, doctor," answered Harm, offering his hand to Dr. Bradley. "How's my wife?"
"We've got her stable for now," he replied. "She in a lot of pain and when she came in she was hemorrhaging pretty severely. I'm trying to do an examination now she she's so upset about Lucy I can't get her to stop squirming so I can do the ultrasound. Is Lucy sick?" he asked.
"No," said Harm. "Lucy was the only one home when all this happened today. She's the one who called 911, and I know Mac is scared to death that Lucy isn't okay. Can I go back with you? I can probably get her to lie still for you and calm her down some, if you need me to?"
"We need you to, but more importantly, I think you need to," Dr. Bradley said in sympathy. "Am I right?"
"I really do," agreed Harm. "When I got home from picking my folks up at the airport, the rescue crew was already working on her and she was almost unconscious, so I haven't gotten to talk to her much at all."
"Come on back, just try to stay out of the way," Dr. Bradley instructed and led Harm back to Mac.
The first thing Harm heard was Mac's sobs, "Where's my baby? I want to see my baby right now!" She cried with almost no sound given her weakened state. They had her lying down with her feet in stirrups, towels and gauze drenched in blood lying between her legs. Still Harm was not affected by the sights; he was affected by the sounds.
He hurried to her side and took a hold of her hand. "Mac, I'm here, baby," he said softly. "It's okay, I'm here. Calm down."
"They won't let me see her, Harm," Mac sobbed. "I want my baby."
"She's fine, Mac," soothed Harm. "Lucy's at home, with DJ and my mom and Frank. She's not here, but she's okay."
"She is here, she was just here," Mac cried harder, not really sure where she was yet given the drugs and the blood loss. "She was...she was touching me somehow...I don't remember how but it felt so nice."
"Sweetheart," said Harm gently as he rubbed her hand. "Lucy's not here. She was with you at the house. She took care of you and got you help."
At those words Mac started to look around. She wasn't at the house? How did that happen? Finally though the lights and the sterility of the environment dawned on her and she fought to sit up, "No. I have to...We have to go home, Harm," she got out before the pain became too much and she sank back giving a little cry.
"No, no," he said as he gently laid her back down again. "You can't go anywhere yet. Dr. Bradley is here and he needs to examine you and see what's going on."
"He's going to hurt me," Mac murmured. "Let me go home. Please," she sobbed looking at him. "Please, let me go home. Please."
"Sarah," Dr. Bradley said gently. "Let me take a look and if I can fix it with medicine you can go home later okay?"
"Listen to him, sweetheart," said Harm. "Let him do what he needs to do, and maybe you can come home today."
Finally, reason penetrated Mac's brain and she looked up at Harm, "Don't leave me. You'll stay?"
He squeezed her hand a little more as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I'm right beside you, and I'm not going anywhere."
Rabb Home
Trish realized Harm told her to leave the mess but she couldn't do that, she couldn't look at it. So she asked Frank to mop up the blood and was the blanket while she sat on the sofa rocking a crying Lucy. The poor little thing had all ready been sick twice from her upsetment, but nothing Trish could do would get her to stop crying. "Lucy, Sweetie, do you want Nana to tell you a story?" Trish asked.
"No," whimpered Lucy. "I want my Mommy..."
"Lucy, you know Mommy had to go and see the doctors. But she'll be home very soon. Please, try and stop crying. Mommy wouldn't want you to cry," Trish soothed. "Want to have a cookie with me?"
For a moment, Lucy began to calm down, but then she remembered about the apples she'd been washing and the pie she was supposed to help her mother make, and she got upset all over again. "I want to help Mommy make the pie," she cried.
Trish rocked her again, trying in earnest to get her to stop crying, "Do you want to help Nana make it?"
"You don't know how," sobbed the child.
"Yes, I do," Trish replied. "Grams and I taught Mommy how."
Lucy looked at her grandmother for a moment as her tears kept falling. "Mommy said we can't have any dirt in the pie. Did you know that?"
"Yes, I did," Trish replied. "That's why I told her to always wash the apples before she peels them. Is that what you were doing?"
Lucy nodded. "Uh-huh. Mommy said I was doing a good job."
"I bet you were doing a really good job," Trish smiled. "What do you say? You want to help Nana make the pie so we can surprise Mommy?"
Lucy was still very shaken up, but was beginning to calm down. "Okay," she said as her breath shuddered a bit from such a long bout of crying.
"Okay," Trish smiled and set Lucy on her feet. "Let's go do that."
Trish reached for Lucy's hand and started to lead her to the kitchen.
Harm stayed and held Mac's hand as Dr. Bradley tested her and checked her over. Finally he turned off the ultrasound machine and let Mac put her legs down. His face was grim as he faced Harm for Mac had since fallen asleep.
"Mr. Rabb, would you like to step outside with me?" the doctor asked.
"What if she wakes up?" he asked.
"She won't," the doctor assured him. "Anyway, you'll be right outside."
With a nod, Harm stood up and followed the doctor into the hallway.
"Its bad this time, Harm," Dr. Bradley told him slipping into personal mode.
"Does she need surgery?" Harm asked.
"Eventually, but for now she's too weak to undergo the type of operation she'll need," Dr. Bradley replied. "We'll have to wait a while."
"I thought that might be the case," said Harm. "Is there anything you can do for her today? Any way to slow the bleeding?"
"Yes, I can do a D&C and clean her up a bit, but I think it would be best if she stayed off her feet as much as possible, in bed or on the sofa until she gets better. I'm also concerned about her weight, Harm," the doctor sighed.
"So am I," agreed Harm. "She's lost a few pounds in the last month or so, I know she has. Things have been pretty, uh, stressful, and when she's stressed, she doesn't eat."
"I want to get her weight but my guess is she lost more than a few pounds," the doctor sighed. "What's been going on Harm? I've noticed deterioration in her condition in the last six weeks or so. And you haven't been to all her appointments. Is there something I can help with?" Dr. Bradley could be crude, but he cared for his patients.
"Thanks, but no, replied Harm. "We've been having some personal difficulties, but we're doing better now."
"Good, I was concerned when you missed three appointments," Dr. Bradley sighed. "Well, while she's out I want to administer the local and some more pain killers then start the procedure. If you want to call your family it'll probably take about two hours."
"I'll do that,"said Harm, reaching for his cell phone. "Will I be able to see her when you're finished? I'd like to be with her when she wakes up."
"Sure, I'll arrange it. You can even be the one to tell her she has to stay until tomorrow," the doctor said with a small smile. He knew how formidable Sarah Mackenzie could be.
Harm smiled a bit himself. "Gee, thanks, doc. I'm going to go make my call; you know where to find me."
"I'll take good care of her," the doctor assured him. "I promise."
Harm stepped outside the front doors of the ER and dialed his home number. After three rings, his mother's voice came on the other end. Having looked at the caller ID screen, she knew exactly who it was. "Hi, honey," said Trish. "How is she?"
"Stable," he answered, "but not good. The doctor did some tests and examined her; said the endometriosis is getting worse, which we more or less knew."
"Is she going to be all right though?" Trish asked. "Is she going to get to come home for Thanksgiving?"
"Some of it, hopefully," he said. "Her doctor wants her to stay overnight for observation. He's in there right now doing a D&C on her, which he said should help for the time being, but he wants her to stay off her feet and get some rest."
"Harm..." Trish began, but she didn't know how to approach it.
"What?" he asked as his nerves started to awaken.
"What happened today...This is not good for the children," Trish told him. "Not at all. What if it had been DJ instead of Lucy?"
"Mom..." he began, looking around as if to search for his thoughts. "I know, you're right, but the last thing I can handle right now is a bunch of questions based on what might have happened. What did happen is bad enough, and I'd be greatly appreciative if you could just keep things going for me until I get back, and leave the fretting about everything else to me. I love you, you know that, but please..."
"They can't be around this Harmon, you know that," Trish pressed. "It's not right to do this to them. Mac needs to deal with this."
"She is dealing with it, Mom," he said, growing a little perturbed at the conversation. "Once she recovers from this episode, she and I will have a long talk about how this has to come to an end, but that's between Mac and me, no one else."
"That's very easy for you to say, you're there and I'm the one that's here," Trish sighed, feeling angry at her son for not helping his daughter, even though she knew that was irrational.
"Well, how else was it supposed to be, Mom?" he asked. "I can tell you're not happy with me, which tells me things aren't going too good there; am I right?"
"They were bad, they got better, now they are worse," she replied. "I tried, Frank is trying, but she needs you."
He let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, I can't leave here until Mac comes out of surgery and I get her settled in her room, which as you know from your past experience with hospitals could be several more hours. What's Lucy doing? Still crying?"
"She cried a long time, then I managed to get her to calm down and bake a pie with me. Once I put it in the oven though she ran into your room and is lying in your bed with Mac's pillow just sobbing. She's even stopped talking except to say 'I want Mommy' or 'I want Daddy'," Trish replied. "I'm out of ideas and Frank is out of ideas."
"Damn it," he muttered under his breath, wishing he could be in two places at once. "Put her on, I'll see if I can do anything from here."
"Hang on," Trish replied and went to Lucy. Harm could hear her talking to his daughter and his daughter's sobs until she came on the phone, "Daddy?" she whimpered.
"Hi, Button," he said softly. "Why are you crying?"
"I want my Mommy," Lucy sobbed. "I don't want her to go away. I want her here."
"Baby, Mommy's okay," he soothed. "I promise, she's okay. I'm here with her, and the doctors are taking care of her, and she'll be just fine. I know she wants you to stop bring sad, okay? Can you do that?
Lucy started to cry harder still, "I want Mommy!" she sobbed over and over again.
It broke Harm's heart in two to hear his child so upset and not be able to console her. "Lucy," he said. "Lucy, listen to Daddy, please. I need you to stop crying and to go sit with Nana or with Papa Frank. They came all the way from California to see you, and they don't want to see you so sad, okay?"
"But I want Mommy, Daddy. I wanna be with you and Mommy. Can you come and get me?" Lucy asked him through her sobs. "I gotta be with Mommy."
"I can't do that, baby," he said. "I have to stay here and help Mommy feel better. I'll come home as soon as I can, though, I promise. I'll bring you some ice cream. Would that make you feel better, sweetie?"
"Maybe," she sniffled. "But can I stay in here?" she asked Harm. "It smells like Mommy in here."
"Of course you can stay in there, Button," he said. "I love you, and I'll be home soon."
"Can you tell Nana and Papa to stop pulling me?' Lucy asked him sniffing again.
"Stop pulling you?" he repeated "What are they pulling you for, Lucy Bear?"
"They want me to come out, but I want to stay in," Lucy replied. "Tell them to stop."
"I'll tell them to stop," he assured the little girl. "You can lie on the big bed as long as you want to, okay?"
"I'm not on the bed anymore," Lucy replied. "Papa wouldn't leave me alone in there so I left there." She sniffed again.
"Where did you go?" Harm asked.
"I went to Mommy's clothes," Lucy replied. "It smells really pretty like Mommy does."
Harm smiled at the mental image of his daughter hiding amidst his wife's side of the closet. "Well," he said. "You can stay in there as long as you want to. I'll make sure no one pulls you anymore, okay?"
"Okay," Lucy replied. "I can see you and Mommy soon Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"As soon as the doctor says so," he told her. "I need to go check on Mommy right now, so will you promise me you won't cry anymore?"
"No," Lucy replied. "But I will try real hard."
"That's my big girl," said Harm with a proud smile. "I love you, I'll be home soon."
"I love you, Daddy," Lucy replied. "Here's Nana."
Trish took the phone back from Lucy and argued a bit with Harm when he told her to leave Lucy alone in Mac's closet, but finally she relented and told Harm to tell Mac they all loved her. Harm ended the call and was about to go back inside when his cell rang.
He looked down at the display screen and stood frozen for a few seconds. It was Annie. "Nope," he said aloud to himself as he clipped the phone back on his belt and continued inside. "I don't have time to deal with that bullshit today." He knew if it was an emergency - which was really the only thing she was supposed to be calling him for, but she seemed to forget that when it suited her purpose - she'd either keep calling or she'd leave him a voice mail. Truth be told, since things had gotten better between he and Mac, there were more moments in his days when he didn't even think about the "Annie situation", as opposed to in the beginning when it nearly ate him alive. He couldn't deal with her right now; he just...couldn't.
Harm got a cup of strong coffee on the way back to the waiting room, then mindlessly read a magazine until Dr. Bradley came out a half hour later than he should have. "Harm?"
"Doctor?" said Harm, tossing the magazine back onto the table and rising from his seat.
"She did beautifully, you can go in and see her," the doctor told him. "She's very weak and is likely to remain so until I can operate. There's a lot of internal bleeding and the others tests I've run indicate her digestive system is infiltrated now. Be calm and gentle with her. She's starting to come back to us, and it's likely she'll have some cramping once the local wears off, but otherwise she came through okay."
"That's good to hear," said Harm, relieved that things had gone as well as they had. "So she's looking at going home sometime tomorrow?"
"I'll get her home for dinner," he promised. "If you can manage her care."
"I can," he assured the doctor. "Gotten a lot of practice lately, unfortunately."
"This is...this will be more than seeing her through a pain spasm, Harm. This will be more like caring for someone going through chemo or that has CFS. Thankfully though it won't be longer than three weeks or so until she's healed enough to operate again."
He nodded. "I can manage," he said. "She needs me, and I'm here for her."
"Go on in," the doctor smiled. "Be gentle."
Harm entered the room where his wife lay recovering from the anesthetic. He knew it wouldn't be too long before she was awake, and he was glad to be right beside her as he waited. She looked a little less pale than before, no doubt thanks to the blood they'd given her as well as the fact that she was no longer losing it by the pint. She was tired; he knew that just by looking at her. The day had, yet again, been hell on earth for her and this time, for Lucy, too. He reached out and took her hand in his, realizing how cold she was. He got the attention of a passing nurse, who brought over another blanket from the warmer and laid it gently atop Mac's sleeping form. Harm remained beside her for the next 45 minutes, until finally he heard her whimper.
"Harm?" she whimpered as she began to stir.
"I'm here, Mac," he said, moving so she could see his face. "How are you feeling?"
"Sleepy. My legs feel funny," she told him looking at the blankets covering her.
"It's just the medicine, babe," he said. "It'll wear off soon."
She nodded, "When can I go home?"
"Tomorrow afternoon," said Harm. "Dr. Bradley did a procedure on you and you have to stay overnight so they can monitor you."
Mac shook her head, "I'm going home today," Mac said with surprising clarity and firmness. "Lucy...Harm, how's Lucy?"
He sighed. "Upset, but she's okay, all things, you know, considered."
"She must have been so scared," Mac whimpered a bit. "I...don't really remember but I remember she...she did everything I said she...She was so scared though."
"I know" said Harm softly. "She's such a smart little girl, though. She's the one who called 911, and she was so thorough in what she said the paramedic thought she was 7."
Mac laughed a little bit then moaned at the pain it caused, "Oh..."
"You okay?" he asked, his voice conveying his concern.
"Hurts," she replied in a soft whisper. "Harm, please, get me home. I need to go home."
He shook his head. "No, baby," he said gently. "You need to stay here, just for tonight. Dr. Bradley said you'll be home in time for dinner tomorrow, but he needs you here tonight."
"I don't want to stay here," Mac protested. "I can never rest without you and Lucy needs you and I need to see her, to make sure she's okay. Please, I won't move. I'll lie in bed, but please."
He was quiet for a moment. "If I can get him to release you," he said. "You promise to stay completely off your feet and to do nothing except rest and relax? No cooking, no taking care of the kids, just resting?"
"I'm not sure I could if I wanted to," Mac replied. "If feel so tired I'm not sure I could lift my head up."
"Which is why the doctor wants you to stay the night here, sweetie," said Harm softly. "But if you really don't want to, I'll see what I can do."
Mac nodded and closed her eyes, trusting Harm to take care of everything.
