Disclaimers in Chapter One

A/N: This finally concluded the Thanksgiving arc. Thanks again to all who are reading and reviewing. Special thanks to Snugglebug for her help and inspiration.

Mac woke up from her nap about an hour later and Harm did managed to get her to eat some of the pie Lucy and his mother made. It even stayed down. Once the dishes were soaking in the sink, the family all sat together and watched their traditional Thanksgiving movie, Miracle on 34th Street, the newer version. Lucy fell asleep against Harm and DJ against the Admiral. Mac fell asleep against the sofa, and for once it seemed to be restful. Finally the Admiral had left and the family had been tucked in leaving Harm and his mom the task of cleaning up.

"Harm, why don't you leave this until morning? Maybe if Mac's up to it she and I can wash the dishes and you can rest," Trish offered.

He shook his head. "No, she's not supposed to be on her feet for any length of time, even if she were to feel up to it, which…"

"Go on," Trish encouraged. She could tell Harm had a lot to exorcise.

He looked down at the plate he was washing and resumed speaking. "Before she was diagnosed, of course pretty much every day was a good one. The few months leading up to the diagnosis and a few after, those were pretty bad. About two months after the surgery, we thought, you know, things were finally getting back to the way they were before, but just when we thought that, she had that...horrible miscarriage and almost died from it, and... It seems like our life isn't even the same life we had a year ago."

"It seems that way because that's the truth, Honey," Trish told him. "You have a wife now who has a chronic illness, you have a lot more responsibilities, and part of that is your fault."

He froze and stared at his mother, unsure of what to say. "Wh...What do you mean part of it is my fault?"

"The way you treat her, Honey," Trish supplied, drying the dish he'd set in the drain. "Take today for example."

He breathed an inner sigh of relief; relief that his mom indeed did not know anything about the "Annie situation", which he should have realized, because if she knew, she'd have taken his head off and handed it to him the second she heard the news. Snapping back into the present, "All I've done today is take care of my wife, mom. That's what I'm supposed to do."

"You didn't just take care of her," Trish replied. "You coddled her you...She didn't want to eat, and you let her not eat. She wanted to stay out here even though it was very difficult for anyone to relax and enjoy themselves, especially the children, but you let her do that too. It's not right, Harm."

He sighed. "Mom, you don't understand. I'm just...I'm just trying to make her as comfortable as I can. You have no idea what that illness has done to us and to her. No idea."

"You are my concern, Harm, and I see what it's done to you," she answered and reached to gently touch his cheek like she did when he was little.

"It's not just me, Mom" he said. "Believe me, this disease...it's changed all of us. Things like this have a ripple effect on a marriage and on a family. Things...they're just so different now..."

"I know they are," Trish replied. "It's like when your father died. I had to take care of you, run the house, and I had no hope Honey. No hope left at all. You have to talk to her, convince her to have the hysterectomy."

Again, he sighed. "We've been down that road already. She won't do it. She's just not ready yet, and in fact, we actually decided..." He let his voice trail off, knowing he was about to let his mother in on something she couldn't begin to understand.

"Decided what?" Trish pressed.

"We want to try for one more baby," he said, keeping it short and simple, if anything about this could be considered short or simple.

"Harm," Trish shook her head. "Is this her desire or yours?"

"We both want another baby, Mom," he said. "She's the one who really pushed it at first, when I wanted her to have the hysterectomy, but since we decided, I've definitely softened towards the idea and I want it as badly as she does."

"But its dangerous Harm and I mean..." Trish gestured to the room. "Did you see her today? Did you look at her? She didn't not eat because she wasn't hungry that's for sure, she can barely walk..."

"I know, Mom," he said softly. "I know. I'm the one who's carrying her from one place to the other, I'm the one who's bathing her and dressing her, believe me, I know. And sure I've got some reservations about another pregnancy, I'm not about to say I don't, but it means so much to her...and to us that I can't tell her no. I tried, and it was almost more than she could handle, so we talked some more and in the end I agreed that once she has the surgery and is healed up, with her doctor's approval, we'll try again and see what happens. I know she's sick right now, believe me, that's been the focal point of our lives for the past few months." He was silent for a second before muttering, "Well, one of the focal points..." under his breath.

"That is a very selfish point of view though Harmon, you two want another child that's fine, but you have two other children that need you both in good health to care for them," Trish sighed.

"Don't you think I know that?" he asked. "I'm the one who's had to take over most of the child-raising responsibilities around here as of late, which I don't mind doing because they're my children and I love them, but it's not something anyone needs to point out to me. Believe me, I'm the first one to say the kids need their mother in good health, but..." He tossed the dish towel onto the counter in tired frustration. "It's not anything that anyone who's not in my place, my exact circumstances could possibly understand. I can't sacrifice my wife's hopes and desires just because I feel it's in her best interest, even if I use the logic that 'it's for the kids'.

"If she..." Trish stopped. That would be pushing too far.

Harm looked at his mother. "Go ahead, Mom. Say what's on your mind."

"When you were little there was nothing I wouldn't give up for you. You were my world...Lucy and DJ...they should be Mac's world, your world. You all ready have two children..." Trish started.

"They are our world, you know they are," he said firmly. "Just because we have them doesn't mean we can't long for another one, though. No one told me there was a stipulation somewhere that said once a couple had one or two kids, they weren't allowed to want any more."

"When it's impossible..." Trish began but was interrupted by a piercing wail. "Mommy! Mommy!" from Lucy's room.

Harm took off down the hallway and arrived at Lucy's room in mere seconds to find his daughter sitting up in her bed, screaming. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"Mommy!" Lucy continued to cry. "Mommy! I want Mommy!"

"Sweetheart," soothed Harm, "Mommy's sleeping. Do you want to go look and make sure she's sleeping okay? Would that help?"

Lucy kept screaming not listening or registering what her Daddy was saying. "I want Mommy! I want her back!" she sobbed. "You promised. You promised."

Harm looked into the frightened eyes of his little girl. "Oh, oh baby," he said. "You had a bad dream, that's all. Mommy is right across the hall; want to come with me and see?"

"Can I take my pillow and my Pooh and sleep in there?" Lucy asked.

"No sweetie," he replied softly. "Mommy's tummy hurts her right now, and we have to be very careful not to bump into her while she sleeps."

Lucy nodded and started to slip off the bed tucking her pillow under one arm and pulling on her comforter with the other one.

"Do you want to sleep on the floor?" he asked her, assuming that's the only reason she was bringing along her bedding.

"Yes, I have to stay by Mommy," Lucy said firmly. "She might need me to rub her head if her tummy is hurting."

"You're such a good helper, Lucy Bear," Harm praised.

Lucy smiled and walked with her Daddy to the master bedroom. Mac had woken to her daughter's cries and was sitting up when Lucy and Harm arrived.

"See," said Harm to Lucy. "She's right there."

"Come to Mommy, Sweetie," Mac said gently and opened her arms.

Lucy walked around to Mac's side of the bed, carefully climbed up and settled against her mother.

"I heard you crying. Did you have a bad dream?" Mac asked rocking her baby gently.

Lucy nodded. "Uh-huh. You and Grams were up in heaven together."

"Oh, I bet that was scary, huh?" Mac asked kissing Lucy's hair.

The little girl nodded. "I thought you'd gone away to heaven, and it made me really sad."

"Oh Baby, Mommy one day when she is very old, like Grams will go to heaven, but that won't be for a very long time," Mac told her. "By then you'll be all grown up and be a Mommy yourself. That's a really long time isn't it?"

"Mm-hmm," replied the child. "I don't want you to go away to heaven. I want you to stay here with Daddy forever."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sweetie. That's Mommy's promise," Mac told her fighting exhaustion as she cuddled with Lucy. "Do you think you can get some sleep now?"

"Yeah," said Lucy. "Daddy said I can sleep on the floor and if you wake up, I can rub your head."

Mac looked at Harm who simply nodded so Mac went along with it, "I'd like that very much. But you can sleep up here with Mommy."

Harm looked at his wife. "Are you sure, babe? I don't want her to kick you in the night or anything."

"I don't want her to sleep on the floor Harm," Mac sighed. "If she rolls too much we can move her there later, but I think we'll be okay."

Harm relented, knowing that if Mac was okay with having Lucy in the bed with her, he shouldn't cause a problem about it. Once Lucy was safely tucked in and Mac was comfortable again, Harm returned to the kitchen where his mother had finished the dishes and was sitting at the dining room table with a cup of tea.

"How is she?" Trish asked sipping her tea.

"They're both okay," said Harm, pulling out a chair and sitting down wearily. "Lucy is in sleeping with Mac. I may have to move her later, or I may just sleep on the floor myself."

"Why is she sleeping with Mac?" Trish asked.

"She had a nightmare that Mac was in heaven with Grams," replied Harm. "She's fine now though, she saw her mom and they talked and now, hopefully, they're both asleep again."

"This can't go on Harm," Trish sighed. "This is not good for Lucy or for DJ for that matter."

"I know, Mom," he said, trying not to sound exasperated, but failing. "She sees her doctor again tomorrow, and he said yesterday that once she heals up from this latest episode, he can go in and clean things up again and then life should, should begin to level back out." Of course he knew in his own mind that with the marriage issues they were still working on, as well as things with Annie, even once Mac's surgery was a thing of the past, life was a long was from leveling off.

"Why does he need to see her again?" Trish asked.

"He needs to repeat a test or something," said Harm, looking up at the ceiling. "I'll be so glad...we'll both be so glad when this is all over."

"Daddy!" Lucy called from the bedroom just then.

"Oh Christ, what now?" he muttered as he quickly rose from his chair and hurried down the hallway.

He walked into the bedroom to see Mac sleeping emitting little moans as she slept fitfully. Lucy was leaning on her elbow, rubbing Mac's forehead. When Harm came in she looked up at him, blue eyes wide.

"What's wrong, Button?" he asked softly.

"Mommy's making noises," Lucy told him. "And I can't make her stop."

Harm walked over to Mac's side of the bed and listened to the sounds she was making. "Its okay, Luce," he said to his daughter. "Mommy does that in her sleep sometimes when her tummy is hurting her. She's asleep, but it still hurts. I'm glad you're trying to make her feel better, though."

"Should I keep going?" Lucy asked through a yawn.

"If you want to, sure," he said, fighting a yawn of his own. "Maybe she'll stop soon. Go back to sleep, okay, baby?"

Lucy nodded and curled up next to Mac, placing a soft hand on her belly making tiny circles. That made the moans ease off a bit.

Harm, once again, returned to the kitchen to find his mother still sitting at the table. He looked at her with tired eyes before opening the door connecting the kitchen to the garage and stepping outside.

"Harmon?" she called after him. "Where are you going?"

He heard her, but instead of answering, he simply closed the door behind himself. He knew she'd follow, but he didn't much care.

Trish rose from the table and followed him, "Harm?"

He didn't hear her that time. He walked around to the far interior side of the garage, to the right of his SUV, dug out a folding chair from the small pile against the wall, opened it and sat down.

Trish walked into the garage and looked around until she saw Harm sitting on a folding chair. "Why are you sitting out here?"

He shook his head, staring off into space.

Trish knelt in front of him, tenderly rubbing his arms, "Sweetie. Harm talk to me."

"It's crazy, Mom," he said softly. "Every single, little thing about my life right now is...is crazy."

"Oh Sweetie," Trish smiled gently. "You said yourself she'll get better. Why? What happened in the bedroom?"

"She's making noises in her sleep," he said. "She's hurting even while she's trying to sleep. It's killing me not to be able to take away that pain."

"Is there anything I can...Maybe you should reconsider my offer," Trish said softly. "That way you're only responsible for Mac until she's stronger."

He was silent for a few moments, thinking. "Maybe you're right," he finally said with a sigh. "Maybe getting them away from this mess for a little while would do them and us some good. It's not solely my call, though, you know that."

"I know," she smiled and stroked his cheek. "But at least consider it. I love you, you know that."

He reached up and covered her hand with his. "I know. I love you, too."