AN: In this chapter, Regina struggles with what lies before her while also dealing with saying goodbye to Henry. This is the last chapter before the grand finale in the Enchanted Fauxrest.
Standard Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, which is a good thing else I might never get anything done. They are Adam and Eddie's. Please, guys, don't sue me!
"I apologize / That your memory serves you more than I can now / You'll have to make sense of my life somehow / Yeah, somehow" - "Permission" by Sixx A.M.
Chapter 5 – The Little Prince
The next morning Regina startles awake, barely biting back a scream as all memory of her dream slips away with consciousness. She grasps at her chest on instinct, panting in rhythm with the vicious pounding of her heart. Her skin is slick with sweat, and anxiety nags at the back of her mind – a latent remnant of whatever hellish dream she'd been in the throes of.
As she forces herself to breath evenly, she glances through the grimy window in her room, noting that the sun has only just begun to peak over the horizon. She is still operating on Red's internal clock and the familiarity of their mutually acquired morning rhythm settles over her, calming her frayed nerves.
Shifting to sit cross-legged on the bed, she leans her elbows on her knees and cradles her head in her hands. The allowance of a brief moment of respite is a luxury, but one she needs to collect herself for the day ahead. A minute of so of silence passes before it suddenly dawns on her that today may well be the last she will ever know. She is less affected by the thought than she would have guessed. Resignation, it seems, has set in overnight. Regina is glad of it; she'd not wanted her journey to be plagued by apprehension.
Her eyes slip shut and she turns her mind to Red, picturing their last morning together. She remembers Red's face as she glanced up, how beautiful she'd been even in the relative darkness and that although her eyes were sleepy her smile was radiant as the sun. Ghosts of the kisses they shared whisper across her lips, and a soul-deep longing awakens within her to taste those full lips one last time. Red's skin had been particularly warm and soft that morning, and Regina explicitly recalls that it felt beneath her fingers like silk spun with great care by the hand of some cosmic weaver. The smell of Red's breath and of her desire also linger within Regina's nostrils, filling her senses with a tangy aroma that is also sweet and wild and wonderful.
And then she hears Red's voice, so melodic and smooth and lyrical in quality. Listening to Red has been one of Regina's favorite pastimes since they met, which was a change of pace for a woman accustomed to being alone. Adjustment came quickly by necessity, however, as Red is a woman who loves to talk and does so with great enthusiasm whether she is telling stories or cracking jokes or showering Regina with compliments that seem to spring eternal from reservoir of affection.
There is one particular instance Regina remembers that brings a smile to her face. It was Red's third month visiting, back when their friendship was new but rapidly blossoming into something of a special strength that gave both women enough confidence to endure and reciprocate teasing.
Earlier in the month, Red had served as the sole security escort for a caravan of diplomats on a long trip to the north. Though the Queen did not accompany them, she gave them authority in her name to renegotiate terms of her treaty with local barons. The mission was important enough for Red to be assigned, much to her displeasure.
During the week-long journey there were a series of ambushes, and once one of the diplomats got lost taking a stroll in the woods nearby. It had taken Red nearly three hours to find him because of the circuitous route he took and his propensity to circle back over himself in his desperation.
Of course, Red went into excruciating detail about the rescue, how she'd finally found him half naked up a tree and shaking like a leaf but refusing to climb down because the bear that had chased him up it might still smell the honey he'd pilfered from the inn they stayed in the night before. Her emotive way of describing her exasperation at the man only made her story all the more endearing.
When Red had caught Regina grinning at her, her brows scrunched up adorably. "What?"
Regina shook her head, lips still stretched wide. "You are quite a verbose young lady, aren't you?"
Red playfully narrowed her eyes in response, her own lips teasing upward. "Is that your highfalutin way of saying I talk too much, princess?"
"I would never!" Although Regina held her hands up to her chest in an innocent gesture meant to sell the denial, her friend was not buying it.
"Uh, huh," Red had replied, trying to appear offended but failing miserably. She then plopped down heavily upon Regina's favorite stump and crossed her arms over her chest. With an exaggerated harrumph, she'd groused, "Well, I'd hate to be the cause of discomfort Your Royal Highness, so I'll just sit right here and be quiet."
Regina had just laughed and reassured Red that she found the chattering adorable, to which Red blushed clear to her roots. After that she was back to talking a mile a minute and Regina had savored every moment.
It has only been a week since they last saw each other, but Regina already misses Red's voice keenly, misses the way it makes her feel safe and happy and loved. She misses Red in general, and she knows that the ache currently living in her chest will endure until she sees her beloved werewolf safe and secure. But until then, she has to press on, has to keep moving forward, because if she doesn't – if she slows down long enough to fully process the situation she is in – the tidal waves of inevitable sorrow will simply inundate her to the point of destruction.
As it is, Regina has to force herself out of the comfort of wistful reminiscing so that she can prepare for the day ahead. After crawling out of bed and donning her clothes once more, she wander over to Henry's room. Upon pressing her ear against the door, she hears no sound whatsoever, so she quickly picks the lock to check in on her young charge. She is unsurprising to find him still fast asleep.
In repose, his boyish yet maturing features are absent the perpetual undercurrent of worry that he'd worn the day before. Regina takes her time studying his features, allowing her eyes to roam over his dark hair and brows, the crease of his cheeks, and then to the downward turn of his chin. Her heart stirs within her once more and for a moment, she simply stares at him, astounded by his innocence and awestruck that he may very well be her son.
But even though a tiny niggle in the back of her mind encourages her to stay and watch over Henry until he wakes, she brushes it off. Since he is likely to slumber for some hours yet, she decides that it would be a better use of her time if she arranged a bath for herself.
After leaving Henry somewhat hesitantly, she makes her way down to the public facilities. Due to the extremely early hour, it is lightly populated, but still she ducks into an empty area, preferring as much privacy as possible. On the way she procures a drying cloth and soap, then begins the process of divesting herself of a week's worth of grime and stink.
Since Red went missing, she has uncharacteristically neglected her personal hygiene, and even though her odor can't have been pleasant to the nose, Henry had not indicated he was bothered by it. Perhaps he hadn't commented to save her the embarrassment, and if so she feels some small amount of pride for his gentlemanly conduct. After all, if he really is her son as he claims, then she had done an excellent job in raising him.
For a few precious minutes, Regina allows herself the luxury of relaxing in the bath, but she is plagued by thoughts of her captive lover all over again. One of the things Red most loved to do together was bathe, and it is a joy that Regina shares.
At least twice per week during Red's sojourns, they make time to travel to a lake located about half a mile from her shack. Located in a pristine clearing and hemmed in by oddly configured outcroppings of rocks, its water is of the clearest blue and is never too hot or cold. Regina has often mused as to whether or not there is some magical or geological force at play she does not understand, but in the end, it never really mattered much when the water is always so perfect.
After divesting themselves of clothing, the established ritual is for Regina to offer her hand, which Red would then take with a demur smile and then allow herself to be lead out into the serene waters. Sometimes they swam for a bit and sometimes they simply waded chest deep to sway in each others arms to the rhythm of the gentle currents. But the best part of the experience is when they take turns washing one another with gentle strokes and tender caresses that serve only to heighten the trustful intimacy between them.
As Regina brushes the soaped cloth along the length of her bare skin, she wonders whether she will ever get to feel Red's hands on her again, lavishing every inch of skin in her diligent and worshipful pursuit to cleanse Regina from head to toe. Feeling herself well up with emotion, Regina bares down on her thoughts, reining them in lest they run away with her as they almost had earlier this morning. She cannot afford for despondency to set in when the toughest part of her journey lay ahead.
After a relatively short bath, she quickly redresses and returns to the inn in a rush, not wanting to leave Henry alone for too long. The only stop she makes is to procure a couple of apples and two honey-baked biscuits from the kitchen. Once back at his room, she has to set breakfast aside to pick his lock for the second time, and when she steps through the threshold a few moments later, she finds him still snoozing away.
Regina envies the energetic young man's ability to sleep so soundly. Worried sick as she is about Red, she had tossed and turned most of the night, only managing a scant hour of sleep before waking. Thankfully, she is long accustomed to going long stretches without much sleep. Life on the run is not conducive to extended periods of downtime in which she can relax enough to truly rest. Only when Red is with her does she feel safe falling into a deep slumber.
Standing next to his bed, Regina indulges that part of herself that earlier had desired to watch over Henry as he slept. Somehow, it doesn't feel perverse or voyeuristic as it perhaps should, and in the silence of the morning she contemplates why that is.
There is no denying that she felt drawn to him from the moment she heard his name. It was almost as if some biological imperative to protect him sparked to life without her even knowing. There is simply something about Henry that compels Regina to care when she otherwise wouldn't, and whether that is because he is truly her son as he says or she merely has developed an affinity for him, she is not sure. But Regina does wonder if that is the way Red had felt that day a little over a year ago when she'd rescued an outlaw and nursed her back to health.
"Good morning," Henry suddenly greets without even opening his eyes. Regina stumbles back a step and has the grace to look apologetic when he cracks his eyes open to regard her in a half-conscious way.
"Good morning," she manages to choke out around her surprise. "I'm sorry if I woke you."
"It's fine," he says as he works himself upright into a seated position. His arms stretch high above his head as he yawns loudly, after which he continues, "This is not new for me. You do the same thing back home sometimes."
Her eyes widen at that. "I do?"
Henry smiles gently and nods. "Yeah. I used to think it was creepy, but that was during a...difficult phase for me." He says this while scratching at the back of his head, looking chagrined. "I don't mind it so much anymore."
"I suppose that is a good thing," Regina says, and then chuckles when she notices Henry's eyes cut to the food she is holding in her hand.
He eyes it with unabashed longing. "Is that breakfast?"
There is an insatiable hunger in his question that reminds Regina very much of Red, and it is does much to further endear Henry to her. She tries to hold on to that positive feeling instead of sinking into further contemplations of things she misses about Red that she may never see or hear or feel or experience ever again.
She extends the plate in his direction. "It's not much. I used up most of my coin renting the rooms. I'm sorry."
"It looks great!" Henry assures, not a hint of deception in his eagerness as he reaches out for one of the apples she'd procured. He sighs happily as he stares at it, as if it were made of gold. "I love apples."
"So do I." Regina grins when Henry takes a huge bite, and she watches his eyes crinkle with pleasure at the taste of their sweetness. Her stomach rumbles as she watches him take another chunk out of the fruit, so she sets the plate down on the stand next to the bed and fetches the other one for herself. "They're my favorite," she comments as she twirls it in her hand. "Red tells me all the time that I could live on them and I think she's right."
When her words reverberate through Regina's mind, her good mood extinguishes. Everything, it seems, inextricably links back to Red now, as if she has become ingrained into to every facet of Regina's life. From bathing to eating to sleeping, she cannot escape the reminders. And although normally she might appreciate the enormity of being so deeply in love with someone, under current circumstances it is torture.
"Hey," Henry calls out as Regina withdraws into herself. After standing from the bed, he gently extracts the apple from Regina's trembling hand and then sets it back on the plate. He then takes one of her hands in his and rubs it gently between the other. "Remember what I said last night," he says. "Have faith. This isn't the end for you guys. I'm gonna to make sure of it."
Choking back tears, Regina reaches up to place her palm upon Henry's cheek. He leans into the touch, brown eyes shining with affection. "You're a sweet boy," she tells him, "but I'm afraid this might be out of both our hands now. Fate has dealt its hand and as for me, it doesn't look promising."
"There's no fate but what we make for ourselves," is his almost proverbial counter, and again she marvels at how much older and wiser he appears than the teenaged boy he is. "The future is not set. So don't give up, Mom, 'cause you are going to get your happily ever after. Just keep hope alive and keep on fighting. You're a hero, and that's what heroes do. Besides, I believe in you."
Regina doesn't really understand the feeling that Henry's little speech creates in the center of her chest. All she knows is that a warmth blossoms and spreads out until it has suffused her entire being. As if arrested of the self-control that stayed her wishes the night before, she pulls Henry into a tight embrace and nestles her nose into his ruffled up hair. The smell of him, the feel of him in her arms sparks that inexplicable feeling of affection to life which pushes out all of her doubts and fears. It is, Regina suddenly realizes, the first time she actually feels like his mother, and the moment is so poignant she doesn't ever want to let him go.
"Thank you, Henry," she whispers, placing a tender kiss to the crown of his head.
In response, Henry squeezes his arms around her waist. "You're welcome, Mom."
While she has not forgotten about Red by any means, Henry's comfort soothes Regina enough that she is able to refocus. "Come on," she smiles, and then retrieves the plate holding her apple and two biscuits, "let's eat. We both need our strength for what lies ahead."
After an amiable breakfast, Regina peers outside the window to check the height of the sun in the sky. It is still early morning, but she knows that Hook will soon be expecting Henry. Gathering up their things is a bit of a melancholy experience for them both, but Regina keeps them both on task by constantly reminding herself why she is doing all of this.
Once both she and Henry are ready to go, Regina leads him to the docks where they find Hook loitering at the gangplank of the Jolly Roger.
Knowing it is time to say goodbye, she grasps Henry by the shoulders. She knows that she is going to miss him far more than she should considering she has only known him for a day (in this world at least), for despite trying so hard not to at the outset, she cares deeply about him now. Somehow Henry has wormed his way into her heart and made her believe in him in a way only one other person ever has. And that unrelenting optimism of his has reignited a hope in her – small as it is – that there is a chance yet for Red to be saved without surrendering her life in the process. She is grateful to him, and tells him as much.
"I'll be seeing you soon," she says immediately after expressing her gratitude, and is admirably able to hold herself together. "Please be careful on your journey. The Queen is as clever as she is devious, and she will not have left The Savior unprotected."
"I'll be okay, don't worry about me," Henry replies with a crooked grin. "I have a fair share of experience myself with this whole hero thing."
"Be that as it may, you have not encountered a foe such as the Evil Queen before," Regina warns.
Smirking, Henry shrugs his shoulders. "You'd be surprised."
His casual dismissal of her concern is bothersome enough that Regina reaches out and clasps his shoulder to get his attention. "Promise me, Henry," she reiterates more forcefully. "Promise me you'll be careful, that you'll stay safe."
Rather than object again, Henry straightens his back and nods intently. "I promise."
"I will personally see to the lad's safety, Milady," Hook speaks up, having taken a place by Henry's side. His namesake gleams in the early morning sunlight. "I won't let him out of my sight. You have my word."
Regina quirks an eyebrow at the confidently stated assurance. "As a pirate? I'm not sure that qualifies as a comfort."
"Not as a pirate," he amends. "As a man who once loved a woman who lost a son. I won't allow what happened to Bae happen to young Henry."
Regina softens a bit in sympathy. She too knows what such tragedy can do to a person, how a devastating loss can – if survived – become a powerful motivator that enables people to transform themselves and which can lend the strength to endure things that they otherwise couldn't.
It was Daniel's loss that hardened Regina enough to marry Leopold and become Snow's step-mother. She might have become a truly awful person had Snow's persistence not whittled down her resistance and won her heart. Regina had once truly loved Snow, which is why her former step-daughter's descent into madness had broken her heart.
"While I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Mr. Hook," Regina says, "in respect of it, I will accept your word of honor."
Hook respectfully tilts his head in response. "I thank you once again for you for your trust as well as for your condolences. I only ask in return that you call me by my name since there is trust between us now." Extending out his remaining hand, he gives Regina a proper if not flourished bow. "Killian Jones at your service, milady."
Regina accepts the proffered hand and shakes it firmly. "Regina, daughter of Henry," she reintroduces herself, purposefully not mentioning her mother. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Jones."
"Are you always so formal?" Hook teases, his blue eyes dancing with good humor.
Henry chuckles at the question and gazes fondly in her direction. "You really have no idea."
Regina tuts in protest, and then says with mock sternness, "It's not very gentlemanly to mock a lady, Mr. Jones. Although perhaps it should be expected from a pirate."
"Touche," Hook replies with a grin. "My apologies, Madam." When Regina accepts his apology with an inclination of her head, the mischievous glint in his eyes fades. "Will you be off now?" he then inquires.
"Yes," she answers, gaze shifting from Hook to Henry who seems on the verge of protesting one last time before thinking better of it. She is glad of it.
While she knows he still still believes there is time for her to accompany him on his own rescue mission without comprising her own to save Red, she does not agree. There is also the not so insignificant fact that she does not want their parting to be any more painful than it already is.
After returning her focus to Hook, she tells him, "I must travel without pause if I'm to reach the Dark Palace by sundown."
"Would it help if you had a horse?" Hook returns, catching Regina quite pleasantly by surprise.
"Of course it would. Why do you ask?"
"I just purchased a gelding a fortnight ago," he says. "He's stabled at the outskirts of town to the north, which is the direction you're heading if I'm not mistaken."
"You aren't," Regina confirms, still a bit taken aback by the offer. "May I ask why you are willing to trust a woman you barely know?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Hook counters, and Regina concedes that point by tilting her head and giving a slight nod. "But to answer your question, it's clear you need all the help you can get, and besides that, I have a ship now. I won't be needing him as much as I would have otherwise."
Though unexpected, the offer is far too irresistible to pass up. Riding rather than running, walking, and hitching rides where she can will save her hours on the journey. "Very well, then. If you are sincere, I am inclined to accept. What's his name?"
"His name is Liam," Hook offers, another tortured look crossing his features. He doesn't elaborate on the story behind the horses name, and aside from her own rushed time table, Regina has no wish to press him as it seems to be a great source of pain for the paradoxically honorable pirate.
"Well, Mr. Jones, since you have promised to care for Henry, I promise to do everything in my power to keep Liam safe." The promise is impossible to guarantee, but it is all she can give.
"I'm grateful, milady," says Hook, who thrusts his hand into his pocket and then pulls something out. "When you arrive at the stables, tell the owner, a man named Ed, that I have loaned you use of my steed. Give him this as proof."
After extending his arm out, Regina notices a coin resting against his palm. She takes it from him, then turns it over to inspect it. It feels funny in her hand, for although it is clearly gold and of a fairly standard size and shape, it has a weight to it that she's never felt before. Upon one side of the coin is a coat of arms she does not recognize, while the other depicts a crowned woman seated regally upon her throne. Above her head is written, "Regina Elizabeth." The coincidence is striking since the coin appears very old and worn as if it has been rubbed constantly over a period of untold years.
"That's how I knew this was fate," Hook says, and Regina glances up to see him gesture toward the coin. "My brother found that coin on our first voyage as a sailors for the Royal Navy. When he died hours later, I kept it. Never understood why until now."
"I'm sorry about your brother," Regina replies sincerely, understanding Hook's reaction to the name of his horse now. Liam was the name of his brother.
Hook shifts from one leg to another and grasps at his hook, eyes turbulent with old memories. Still, he smiles. "Thank you for the kindness, but it was a long time ago. I just hope it helps get you where you need to go."
Regina rubs the coin between her thumb and index finger before placing it in a pocket sewn into the inside of her vest. She makes note to return it to Hook if she lives beyond the next few days. "I'm sure it will, and while I thank you for loaning me your horse, I would be remiss is I didn't tell you that the trip I am to undertake is fraught with danger. You might never see the animal again."
Hook does not hesitate in his response. "A small price to pay to save the one you love."
Regina agrees, then adds, "There is no price I would not pay for Red's sake."
Looking intrigued, Hook gestures his uniquely accoutred hand in her direction in an absentminded display of interest. "Is that her name? Your woman?"
"It is. Do you know her?"
"I don't, but I know of her. The crew often gossips about the Evil Queen when we are around these parts. I heard tale many times of the Queen's pet werewolf who went by such a name. I remembered it because it was so unique...and because she is a werewolf. Such interesting creatures."
"They are," Regina confirms, though she takes affront at a certain part of his statement. "However, Red is not anyone's pet. She is a magnificent woman of her own merit who deserves respect."
Hook displays enough the intelligence to look contrite as he holds his hands up in a mollifying gesture. "I apologize again, lady Regina. I meant no offense. It was merely a comment, not a judgment."
Sighing at her oversensitivity, Regina shakes her head. "No, I should be the one to apologize. I know you weren't speaking in a derogatory manner, I just overreacted. I'm sorry." Regina winces, feeling like she's said she was sorry far too many times of late.
Hook does little to ease her guilt, but she is glad to see that he does not seem to have taken her poor reaction personally. "In that case," he says, "I hope your journey is swift, and that you find your Red and bring her home where she belongs."
There are no words to express how much Regina wants that too, so she settles for being gracious. "Thank you, Mr. Jones…Killian," she corrects herself, feeling he has earned the familiar address. "I also wish you good luck on your journey. May the winds favor you and the stars watch over you both."
With one last friendly nod, Hook turns to stride up the gangplank onto the Jolly Roger, where he immediately begins chirping commands to the small crew who chose to remain with him rather than stay loyal to Blackbeard. Once he disappears from sight, Regina impulsively reaches for Henry to draw him into her arms one last time.
For at least a full minute they stand silently in the embrace, both reluctant to say goodbye. But no matter how much Regina is unwilling to part from Henry, she feels she has no choice in the matter.
"Goodbye, Henry," she whispers into his ear, biting back tears. "Remember your promise."
"I will, Mom," he replies with a nod against her shoulder. "Just...whatever you have to do, stay alive. We will come back for you."
Regina doesn't have the heart to lie to him. After withdrawing to look him straight on, she offers, "I'll try."
That abnormally sage expression that has fascinated Regina every time she's seen it passes across his face. "That's not good enough," he says. "Do or do not. There is no try."
Though in her gut the saying feels familiar, like it is something she has heard often in her life, her brain registers it as foreign. And yet she finds herself nodding along anyway. "I will promise to stay alive as long as you do the same."
Henry grins impishly, again as if he was privy to a secret she was not, and then reaches out his hand. "Deal."
Meeting his grin with one of her own, Regina takes his hand and then gives it one firm shake. "Deal."
Having secured her agreement, Henry nods sharply and then releases her hand. Shoulders set, he leaves Regina to climb up the gangplank into the Jolly Roger, and once he is safely aboard, lingers at the edge of the ship before turning back. Peered down at her as if memorizing her every feature, he gives her one last wave and then calls out, "Bye, Mom! See ya soon!"
With a return wave, Regina whispers, "Goodbye, little prince." And with that, steels herself and turns her back to the Jolly Roger for good.
After heading back into town, Regina does not bother to procure any more supplies. In her haste, she heads straight up the road that leads north out of town, stopping only at the stables to do as Hook instructed. There she collects a gentle, obedient, and very handsome Liam from his stall where he is waiting just as Hook promised. Reins in hand, she leads the beautiful roan out of the stable and away from the main thoroughfare to the dirt path she will follow to her destination.
Before setting off down the road, she gives one final glance back toward town in the direction of the docks before vaulting herself onto the saddle via the stirrups. And as she whispers a silent prayer to the gods on the behalf of Henry and Hook, she promptly urges Liam northward. The steady pounding of his hooves and the rushing whirl of the wind whipping over her face carry her all the way to the outskirts of Dark Palace.