Zuko
X
It has occurred to me that I do not look up at the sky as often as I should.
For the first time in awhile, my eyes are trained, unblinking, staring persistently at the endless blue that knows eternity. My fingers twitch just that little bit as I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale deeply. There is calm, a sort of solace in my heart despite the turmoil and anger that has been going around camp.
I sigh heavily and turning around sharply, snatch the bottle of sake that is sitting so precariously on the edge of the flimsy, little wooden stool that I sit upon when I am here alone. I look at the bottle a moment and then tilt my head back as I pour the liquid down my throat. The taste of alcohol is comforting somehow.
In public, I am an empty, emotionless animal, hungry only for justice and the relentless persecution of criminals. I am unfazed, focussed and unafraid. But in reality, I hate to admit, but I am a wreck, broken and sorrow-filled. I drink heavily to ease the pain of loss. I am weak, and scared and confused and I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to put people away for crimes that they cannot be blamed for committing.
One would be a fool to believe that I do not feel I have betrayed humankind when I put a woman who is guilty of murdering the Fire Nation soldier who sodomized her son away. Or disgusted with myself when I read articles in the papers that speak of how I was instrumental in the arrest of the Earth Kingdom men sentenced to die by a thousand cuts, whose only crime was to kill the bastards who slaughtered their children
At the thought of these cases my eyes drift shut as a muscle in my jaw clenches and I sit atop the flimsy wooden stool. My heart hurts and I feel strange, almost like sadness is now my only ally. And then I fall upon the floor, my arms sprawled out as I allow myself to cry.
X
She sneaks out of the brothel, citing the ruse she has come up with; that she has to meet a new client of hers. And that the man had requested that they met somewhere more private, as he didn't want his identity to be revealed. This of course is truth to Katara. Colonel Zuko is a client in her eyes, he is someone who has engaged her services. He wants sex, like all men who seek her out do, even though he disguises his intention with an invitation to dinner.
She turns up at the restaurant, The Jade Imperial, an up market eatery with chefs air flown from parts of the Earth Kingdom that are flourishing under Fire Nation rule more than ever. They are men and women of such great talent that they were the ones handpicked by the noble Fire Nation men living in the Earth Kingdom to open shop in this part of the country.
Katara has only managed to read about the place, with what little words she can recognise, in the morning papers. Mostly, she depends on the paintings found therein and has on occasion fantasized having the wedding dinner she will never have, at the Jade Imperial. This vision, of course, is so fantastically impossible. She knows this. But girls will be girls and like many, she pictures her prince charming in his handsome splendour, lifting her veil before he kisses her.
The thought sends a sad smile to the young woman's lips. Her eyes do not light up as they would if it were genuine. Instead they are vacant and hollow, as a woman's who has loss everything are. She approaches the restaurant's main entrance and even though is dressed in a beautiful and intricately made cheongsam, is met with distasteful detest. The waiter that is meant to usher in to the place with warmth looks upon her with disgust; as if she were filth, as if she were unworthy. She feels small then and wishes she could curl up on the ground and never be seen again.
"You don't belong here, slut," he snarls and pushes her. She stumbles back into someone who catches and steadies her. He receives her as honourably as he can and markedly avoids touching any part of her that would be inappropriate. Katara, of course is taken aback by the stranger's harsh voice and gentle touch as he helps right her position.
"How dare you speak to a woman with that tone?" the man questions through gritted teeth. His tone is filled with anger and adamant disapproval of the waiter's rude behaviour. The chap's emerald eyes widen as he falls upon his knees, his eyes trained on the ground as he begins slapping himself.
"I deserve death," he repeats as he abuses himself and Katara is quite surprised at this young man's sudden change in demeanour. The man from behind her releases her form and pulls the waiter up from his position on the ground by the collar and demands that he apologize to, as he put it, his honourable guest.
This is when Katara pauses and turns around slowly. A depth of comfort comes into her heart as she stares up at Zuko. He seems human somehow, less of a military personnel and more like a man. It seems to her then, that he is indeed quite handsome, his scar only adding to his appeal.
"I'm... I'm so sorry most honourable lady. Forgive me, your humble servant," the staff says as Zuko releases his collar and allows him to fall upon his knees and beg for Katara's forgiveness. Katara nods absently and is taken by the hand by her client. He leads her into the restaurant. They are greeted with bows and respectful nods and are taken into one of the private dining rooms.
Katara, now recovered from the fiasco that ensued at the entrance allows her mind to wander. She feels a tingling sensation bubbling from within at the thought and notion that Zuko will probably have sex with her here. Surprisingly the thought of making love to the man does not put Katara off. Instead, she is faced with a bashful anticipation at the thought of the possible sexual encounter. She clears her throat and glances at his golden eyes, only to look away almost immediately, an uncharacteristic blush colouring her cheeks.
"So, Miss Katara," the man says somewhat sternly. Katara swallows and forces herself to look at Zuko directly. His gaze is unwavering and very intimidating. The scarred flesh is blemished and crimson, superficial yet deeply tied with his person. One doesn't need to be told the Colonel's story to know that the man has gone through strife.
"What is it you wish to have for dinner?" the man asks, trying in vain to lessen the awkwardness between them.
Katara will admit, if asked, that the atmosphere and rapport between herself and her company are very awkward and even a little unsettling. However, she cannot deny that there is a strange and probably inappropriate feeling of peace within her sprouting from her adamant refusal to accept that there is danger in store for her if he finds out that...
She doesn't let her mind complete the sentence for fear that her calmness will soon fade and panic show on her features. He smiles at her tentatively. This is something that he has not yet done in her presence and the thought that it is meant for her makes her insides feel warm, even on this cold winter's day.
"Sir," she begins quietly. This is strange. She has never been one to be this timid. Katara has always been a strong, independent woman, who has never been afraid to say or show what she truly feels and thinks. She is her own person and will never apologize for being who she is... even though who, or what she is, is a monster.
The waterbender clears her mind abruptly, forgetting what she had intended to say to the man seated opposite her.
One of the restaurant staff knocks on the wooden door and when told to enter, steps into the private room and bows deeply at them both. Zuko looks at Katara for a moment and watches as she glances up at the waiter, recognising him as the one who insulted her earlier and sees that she forces herself to stare at him with defiance in her gaze. This, he must admit, he admires about her.
Glancing at the young woman for her approval or lack thereof, he rattles off dish after dish, course after course of the world's most expensive delicacies, foods she can only imagine eating. He spares no expense. The act of kindness she is experiencing from the man before her makes her happy, yet she isn't one who accepts charity very often.
If she were to be rewarded, she wants it to be because she has done something praise worthy, something that is attributed to her. She doesn't want to be given things just because she is pitied. To her, after being raised in an environment that is so difficult to survive in, she has come to understand that there are no free lunches. There must be something that Zuko wants from her that has caused him to take her here.
When they are left alone again, she grabs the pitcher of wine from the ice bucket and pours herself and her companion a drink. Her hands are shaking as she does so. It must be her nervousness playing out. Trying and failing to keep still, she subconsciously takes the shredded ginger in saucer and drops it into her cup of sake.
Zuko's eyes widen in surprise as he watches her take a gulp of the liquid. It is clear that she doesn't know how to behave in a restaurant of such high acclaim. He is used to be seated with people of culture, the uptight bunch who never have patience for the 'unruly' crowd that are the less fortunate.
Zuko, however, is different. Time spent amongst the working class and coarse military men have made him fond of the simplicity of these people's actions. He no longer harbours interest in the sickening air of self-importance that stinks the air around the people who are called 'nobles'. Truth be told, the is nothing noble about them.
Katara senses him looking at her and rights her position immediately, quickly pulling a shred of ginger from between her teeth. Zuko chuckles softly at her actions. The sound surprises both of them as it leaves his lips. Such fond expressions were only reserved for Mai, the love of his life. With Mai, Zuko was a completely different person that who he is now. Yet, he has just allowed himself and his guest a snippet of the old Zuko that had died when Mai did.
"So," he begins, trying to break the ice a little. "How long have you been living here in the Earth Kingdom?" he asks and takes a sip of his sake. A burning sensation courses through his gullet and he coughs a little. "Do you like it here?"
"I've been here for nearly my whole life," she tells him. Zuko nods as he assumes that she is here by choice.
"So, why did you choose to come here instead of the bigger cities?" he asks, genuinely curious. At this question, Katara's expression changes. She had been having a relatively good time this evening. But now, now the man has crossed her and insulted her by suggesting that she had chosen to be in the plight she is in now.
"I would never," she begins. "I would never, even choose to come to this spirit-forsaken land if I had a choice," she says. The tears are hot on her cheeks as she rubs at her blue orbs roughly. "The raped me and my people, killed my friends and robbed me of my innocence, before stealing my from my home." By this time she is crying so hard that her eyes are now red and filled with resentment and bitterness.
Zuko's shuts his eyes. His heart has turned to mush as he here the anguish in this young woman's voice. He has never found it easy to manage cases involving women who have been sexually abused and this is no exception. He has never felt that it were appropriate for him to comfort them.
That is why he is distantly surprised when he lifts himself from his position opposite the woman to her side. His hand hovers near her cheek before he hesitantly strokes her face and pulls her into his arms. It feels strange to have a woman other than Mai in his embrace. Though he doesn't stop his instinctive action of putting his nose to the crown of her head and inhaling her scent as he traces small circles on her back.
The young woman allows this man to hold her. She allows him to try to make her feel better. She allows herself to find solace in his arms.
They don't make love here, instead she spends the rest of the night finding that that has been missing from her life since she was stolen.
A/N: Hi! i'm finally updating again people! rnr!