A/N: I decided to update this bit today since the end has a bit of a shock for you. The next update will be over the weekend sometime, I promise.

Once again, hugs and thanks to my partner in crime Snugglebug. You're the best.

The case went on, Maureen questioning Mac next, raising several interesting points, including her alcoholism and her reluctance to have a hysterectomy that would have improved life for her children. All in all, it was very hard to tell which way the case would swing when they left the court room that first day.

For two days Mac's lawyer called witnesses that attested to Mac's ability to parent her children. They told how responsible she was when it came to her children's care and how much she loved them. Some told of Harm's antics over the years as well, making him look indeed like an irresponsible loose cannon.

It was a Thursday morning, the day they were to begin to present their case that Harm discussed this with Maureen in the coffee room.

"How can I possibly come off looking like anything other than a complete idiot?" he asked. "She's painted me in every dark color known to man."

"That's her job," Maureen replied. "She is trying to take your children. Her lawyer is doing his job, now I get to do mine. We still have our best weapon, you know?"

He nodded. "I hate this so much. I never dreamed we'd ever get divorced, let alone fight over our kids."

Maureen place a comforting hand on his shoulder, "It's going to be okay," she soothed. "Believe me. You're going on the stand today and you don't be afraid to show them how much you love those kids. Now, are you ready?" she asked. "We're going to get pretty personal, especially about Sarah's illness."

He rubbed his head with his hands, closing his eyes and sitting still.

"Harm?" Maureen asked. "Are you okay?"

"Headache," he answered. "Just gimme a minute."

"Okay, look at me," she instructed.

"Can't," he said. "Can't look at light; just give me a minute, okay?"

"Okay," Maureen said softly. "Keep your eyes closed, and take a nice deep breath in."

He followed her instruction, but it didn't help much. "What time is it?" he asked, his voice indicative of the pain he was experiencing.

"Its almost 9," she replied. "Another deep breath. Imagine all the tension just melting away," she said gently. "Think of a nice spring day, just you and your children at the park, running and playing baseball..."

This time, he took her suggestions, listened to her guidance, and he felt his headache begin to wane just a touch. After another 5 minutes, he felt well enough to head into the courtroom.

"Remember, be calm, be truthful, and don't let anything stay in. Emotion is a good thing, as long as it is not anger," she told him.

He sighed. "Yeah. Feels strange to be on this side of that speech."

"It's going to be okay," Maureen told him. "Let's go."

He swallowed hard and opened the door.

In another few minutes court was called to order and Maureen called Harm to the stand. Once he was sworn in, she began her examination. "Tell the court about your children Commander Rabb," she began.

My daughter, Lucy, is almost six years old," he said. "My son, David, is three."

"Are you closer to one child more than the other?" she asked.

"I don't believe I am," he said. "Lucy is going through her 'I want Daddy' phase, but no, I love both my children equally...and very much."

"I imagine you do," she replied, knowing Mr. Johnston would object and withdrawing the comment when he did so. "Commander, can you please account for us the events leading up to these proceedings. Mainly, the cause of the affair you had in August of last year."

"The cause of the affair was the pain I was in from the difficulty my wife's medical condition was causing within our marriage." He blinked a few times, his head beginning to hurt once more.

"When did you first learn of her condition?" Maureen asked.

"May of 2004," answered Harm. "She'd known since February and hadn't said anything to me."

"And what is her condition exactly, Commander?" Maureen asked.

"Severe endometriosis," he said, the pounding in his head growing worse.

"And what are the symptoms in Colonel Rabb's particular case?" she asked.

"Um...uh...back pain," he said, working hard to focus on account of his headache. "Lower back pain, heavy menstrual bleeding, lots of pain each cycle, pain during sex..."

"And when did you first learn of her pain?" she continued.

Harm had been back from his TAD for only 4 hours. He'd missed his family terribly, especially Mac. After treating them to pizza for dinner and ice cream sundaes for dessert, he bathed the kids by himself, read them two stories and put them in bed a bit early so he and his wife could be together.

Mac was lying in bed when he arrived. She'd not felt well for over a week all ready. She was lying on her side with a pillow between her legs to relieve the pain in her lower back.

"Hey, beautiful," he said softly as he slid in next to her beneath the covers. "I've missed you."

"Mm," she sighed. "I missed you. Kids in bed?"

"Sound asleep," he answered with a gentle smile as he rolled towards her and moved his lips to hers.

Mac leaned into his kiss having missed the taste and feel of him. "Oh...I think that's my favorite part."

"Oh, really?" he asked coyly, sliding himself closer to her and draping one leg atop hers, noticing the pillow between her legs. "What's this for?" he asked, tugging at it just a little.

"Oh...I think I hurt myself lifting Lucy out of the tub the other day," Mac replied. "Since my back has really hurt."

"I'm sorry," he said, "I wish I'd been here to help you." He gave her another kiss. "Can I move it?" he asked in a whisper. "It's kinda in the way."

"Mmhmm," Mac replied. "You can move it. You're here now. You'll make it all better," she said this with a suggestive raise of her eyebrow.

He smiled as he slid the pillow out from beneath her and tossed it on the floor. "I'll see what I can do for you, baby." Leaning forward, he once again captured her lips, this time in a white hot exchange.

Mac eagerly responded to his touch, hands beginning to roam over his hard body. "Oh," she moaned in her throat. "Oh, God...You...I love you so much." Then, "Maybe..."

"What?" he asked as he busied himself with slipping the thin straps of her lacy nightgown off her shoulders and pulling the top down off her breasts.

"I think I might be ready to try for that third baby we're talking about having," she whispered next to his ear before taking the lobe between her teeth.

He took to dropping feather soft kisses on each breast; he knew it made her crazy. "Well, you know...what...that means?" he asked between kisses.

"Do I?" she asked panting at the exquisite sensations he was sending through her body.

"Means we've gotta do this...over and over...and over," he said as he shifted his focus to the spot where her neck and jaw line met. "I think I can go twice tonight, how 'bout you?" he breathed against her ear before kissing the spot right behind it.

"Just twice," Mac gasped. "I have at least three times, maybe four. You've been gone five whole days."

"Mmm...guess you wanna be at it all night then, huh?" he asked sexily, sliding his body from her left side to her right to continue his activities.

Mac responded and accepted his lover's touch with touches and caresses of his own. Soon she felt the fire within her ignite and begin to burn as high as it ever had since she'd first been with Harm. She lifted her hips as she felt her belly tighten and ignored the pulling pain in her back, her other body parts felt too wonderful for that to ruin it. "Harm, please, I can't take anymore."

"Me either,676" he panted, moving into place and uniting his body and hers before taking her in his arms and rolling onto his back, holding her close as he kissed her passionately; wildly even. When the kiss broke, without word, he rolled their bodies back over so she was once again on her back. He stared into her eyes. "God, I love you..."

He lifted his own hips to take her body as he had hundreds of times before, though it was always as beautiful and as meaningful as the first time they'd done this, only this time when Mac cried out his name it was not a cry of ecstasy, but one of agony. "Harm! Harm, stop!"

"Stop what?" he asked, slowing a bit but still moving within her, almost completely lost in the moment.

"Stop," she repeated weakly as she began to cry. "You're hurting me."

A look of absolute confusion mixed with fear appeared on his face. He ceased his motion totally and focused on her. "That hurt you, baby?" he asked softly.

Mac's entire body was shaking with pain, "So bad," she gasped. "So...It really hurts, Harm. Oh..."She moaned and shifted under him.

"What should I do?" he asked, not wanting to make anything worse for her.

"Get off me," she gasped out. "Just get off me."

With a nod, he did just as she asked, moving himself out of her and up next to her in almost the same motion. He moved the hair off her sweaty forehead. "What happened? I didn't do anything different. Are you okay?"

Mac rolled onto her side, pulled her knees into her chest and sobbed, one arm around her abdomen. "No," she cried. "It...I feel like I got stabbed."

Harm was at a total loss. "Stabbed? I don't understand" he said, leaning over her while being sure he kept his entire weight off of her. "Why do you feel like that? Was it something I did?"

Mac shook her head in confusion, "I don't know, Harm, but it hurts. It still hurts so bad."

"I'm so sorry, love," he said, rubbing her back softly. "Have you hurt like this before? I know, not when we're together, but at all?"

She nodded, "Not as bad, but bad enough," she replied. "Oh..." Another agonized moan.

Harm jumped out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans and a T-shirt from the closet. He threw them on in no time, then pulled one of Mac's favorite lounge outfits out of her drawer and returned to her side. "Here, baby, let's get this on you. You need a doctor; this isn't right, something's really...not right."

Mac shook her head, "No. No, doc...Oh God," she sobbed with yet another strong cramp. "Help me, Harm."

"I will, baby, I will," he said. "I'm going to help you get these clothes on, then I'm going to call AJ and have him come sleep on the couch while I take you to the emergency room. Can you sit up at all for me?"

Mac tried to move but as she lifted her upper body, she collapsed backwards onto the bed. "I...I'm so dizzy," she moaned. "I'm scared. What's happening?"

"I think you're dizzy from the pain," he said. "Just lie there and I'll get this on you and we'll go." He grabbed the lounge pants, pulled the covers off of her so he could get to her legs, and froze at the sight in front of him. "Oh no" he whispered.

"What?" Mac asked, her voice growing weak.

He debated whether or not to tell her, but knew he really had no choice. "There's blood, sweetie."

She narrowed her eyes confused, "Blood?"

He nodded. "You're bleeding; you can't feel it?"

She shook her head, "I can't feel anything anymore," she replied. "Really tired."

"No, no, Mac," he said. "You need to stay awake so you can talk to the doctors."

Her eyes were beginning to slip closed as he said that when another fierce cramp seized her and she cried out once again in pain. "Make it stop," she begged him.

"Damn it!" he said under his breath as he threw her lounge wear aside and reached for the phone to dial 911. "Mac, its okay," he said, kneeling beside her. "You're okay, I promise."

"Hold me," she pleaded, fading again as the cramp let up.

He held her in one arm as he held the phone to his ear with the other. This was by no means the homecoming night he'd envisioned.

"What happened when you got Colonel Rabb to the hospital, Commander?" Maureen asked.

"She went by ambulance," he said, his head now throbbing but he fought through it. "They took her straight back and examined her, asked her what happened. She wasn't really able to tell them anything, so they came and asked me. I explained everything, though it made no sense at that time, and they admitted her that night for testing the next morning."

"And what were the results of the tests?" asked Maureen.

He looked dead on at Mac. "Severe endometriosis. It explained...a lot."

"Did you know of these results immediately?" Maureen asked.

"No," he stated, gaze unmoving from his soon-to-be former wife. "She lied to me, said she had an infection."

"When did you learn the truth?" Maureen asked.

"I..." His hands began to shake.

"Commander?" Maureen repeated. "When did you learn the truth about Colonel Rabb's illness?"

Harm noticed that Mac was preoccupied all during dinner that night. He knew she was feeling ill again with whatever ailment was plaguing her, but tonight she was even more upset and distant. She asked if he'd put Lucy and DJ down to their beds while she lay on the sofa with a heating pad on her back. Once the kids were asleep Harm joined her on the sofa, sitting by her feet which he placed in his lap.

"Harm?" Mac sighed. It was now or never.

She took a deep breath and laid it out on the table, "I'm sick."

Instantly, a wave of panic and worry washed over him. "Sick? Like...dying?"

She sighed again and the tears started constricting her ability to speak.

"Oh my God," he gasped, a lump forming in his throat. His worst fears were becoming reality, and he was powerless to stop it.

"I...I'm sorry..."she tried and reached out for him.

He wiped away a few tears which had fallen from his eyes, and felt the knot in his stomach tighten. "What is it?" he asked.

"My worst nightmare has come true," she cried. "Its...its..."

"Tell me, Mac," he said, his heart breaking. "Tell me what's wrong. Please...tell me."

Tears still falling she whispered the disease's dreaded name.

He looked at her, puzzled and unsure. "Is...I didn't think that was...was fatal."

Another harsh sob, "Its not, but it might as well be."

He felt as if the world had been lifted from his shoulders, but ten tons of bricks took its place. "Mac, don't say that!" he begged. "I was afraid I was losing you - how can you say you may as well be dying? I don't get it."

"Because..."she sobbed. "Because I can't..."

He pulled her close. "Calm down. Try to calm down and talk to me, okay?"

In the safety of his arms she finally said it, "I can't have anymore babies."

Another wave of relief, followed by another wave of pain. "Mac," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that we can't have more babies together, but I'm so happy that you're not...leaving us."

She sniffled, "There's more."

"Go ahead," he whispered.

"Well I have to have an operation," she told him.

He nodded. "When?"

"In ten hours, and six minutes," she replied.

"What?" he exclaimed, releasing his embrace from behind her. "You're having surgery tomorrow, and this is the first I'm hearing of it?"

"There's more," she sighed again and braced herself.

He got up from the couch. "I don't know how much 'more' I can take! How could you keep this from me?"

"Harm, please, listen to me," she cried. "Please, I want you to know the truth."

He looked away from her. "Tell me."

"Its my second...maybe third one," she replied.

He whipped his head around to stare her in the eyes. "You did not just say this will be the second or third operation you've had! Tell me I heard that all wrong!"

Sheepishly she shook her head.

Harm threw his hands up in defeat. "How could you? How could you keep this from me; suffer alone all this time?"

She wiped her eyes and studied her lap, "I was scared."

"All the more reason you should have told me!" he said, very hurt by her secrecy. "God, Mac, you find out we can't have any more babies, and that you have a disease which requires multiple operations to treat, and you keep it from me! All of it, you keep it from me!"

She began to cry harder, "I was just so scared that you..."

"Spit it out," he said, compassion taking a back seat to pain. "Come on, Marine, spill it! What made you too afraid to tell your husband about this?"

His tone made her shout at him as she cried, making her voice squeak. "Because I was scared to death that once I told you I wouldn't have a husband anymore!"

He threw his hands up once again. "Oh, well, now I get it! Yeah, I've only loved you like crazy since I first laid eyes on you, and only dreamed about making you my wife every day between the Rose Garden and Russia, so yeah, if you'd come clean about your illness, I would've dropped you like a hot potato! Give me a break, Mac!"

She only cried harder, "I can't give you what you want! Don't you understand that!"

"I want you!" he exclaimed. "I want you to feel good, to not have this monster stealing your happiness!" He lowered his voice a notch or two. "I miss the way things were before this happened. I want that back."

"I miss...I miss a life without pain, constant pain and...I miss our dreams," she cried. "I want our third baby and our fourth...and I can't and it hurts me so much I wanted to spare you the pain!"

He knelt in front of her. "Unless you figured out a way to conceive our third and fourth children without me, you would have had to tell me about this eventually."

"I just thought you'd think it just didn't happen," Mac replied. "It was stupid, Harriet made me see that.

He nodded. "Yeah, it really was. As easily as we conceived Lucy and DJ, I would've figured it out before very long."

"I'm sorry," Mac replied. "I'm so sorry. I just...I don't know what I was thinking but I'd really...really like it if you were there with me tomorrow."

He cupped her face with his hand. "I'll be there. I'll always be there, Mac. Always."

"Its not very pleasant, the surgery. You can tell easily and...I feel I have to tell you...Remember the seminar?" Mac asked.

He nodded.

"That was my first surgery," Mac replied. "I'm too swollen to be seen after and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he soothed. "Let's just focus on tomorrow and get through this together."

"Will you hold me all night?" she asked.

"I will" he said softly. "I'm sorry I got so mad."

"You had the right," she replied. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to hurt you and I was so scared of losing you."

"I'm not going anywhere" he said tenderly. "I'll always be here, Mac. Always."

"Did you wife's condition improve at all in the months following her surgery?" Maureen asked.

"Some," answered Harm, "but it wasn't long before things started reverting to the way they'd been prior to the operation." His headache just refused to die.

"How did her illness affect your children if at all?" she asked.

"It...uh...um...they..." He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his fingers, and loosened the knot on his tie.

"Commander Rabb?" Maureen asked, growing concerned. "Did Colonel Rabb's illness affect your son or your daughter in any way?"

"They saw their mother in bed a lot," he replied. "They knew she was sick and she couldn't take care of them."

"Would you say one child was more affected than the other?" she asked.

"Lucy, my daughter," answered Harm, feeling a bit cooler but his head was still throbbing. "She witnessed her mother having a severe bleeding episode the day before Thanksgiving."

"How did Lucy handle that?" Maureen asked her voice soft in order to convey sympathy for the child.

"She was traumatized by it. She wouldn't sleep by herself for a time and had nightmares about one of us dying or leaving her," Harm explained.

"Since that time how have you felt about having Lucy or DJ alone with Colonel Rabb?" Maureen asked. They'd worked on this question, she hoped he remembered.

"I worry about it," he said. "I don't feel that given her history and her medical condition, the children can safely be left in her care for any length of time."

"And is that why you want sole custody of your children, Commander?"

"It is," he replied.

Maureen sighed, he'd forgotten the last part, but it was too late now. "Nothing further. Your witness, Mr. Johnston."

Mac's attorney began firing at Harm from the moment he rose from his seat. He attacked him on his flying, his crash in the Atlantic, both affairs and all the while Harm felt his chest tighten, his head pound and his skin begin to drip with perspiration. It was when Johnston asked about Lucy's operation however that it all came undone. "Isn't it true your daughter had surgery five weeks ago?"

"Y...yes," Harm gasped out.

"And where were you while she was hospitalized for the procedure?" he asked.

"I didn't...she...wasn't the pain..." said Harm as the sweat continued pouring off his face.

"Excuse me?" Mr. Johnston sighed. "Your honor, please instruct the witness to answer the question."

The judge looked at the witness, soaked in perspiration, breathing hard. "This court is in recess," he declared and banged the gavel.

"Commander, are you all right?" he asked.

Maureen was on her feet and heading for her client as Mac strained to see around the crowd forming near Harm.

"Harm?" Maureen asked. "What's going on?"

He shook his head and looked at her blankly. Mac got to her feet and moved to Maureen's side, just in front of Harm.

"What happened?" she asked in concern.

"I'm not sure," replied the attorney. "Has he had this happen before?"

Mac wasn't sure if it was what had happened years ago so she stepped closer to talk to Harm. "Harm? Harm, are you okay? Talk to me."

To him, Mac sounded like she was talking to him from under water. She sounded very distant. He looked up at her, but his head hurt so badly all be could make out was her silhouette.

"Harm...come on, Sw...Come on, you can talk to me. Tell us what's wrong and we can help okay?" she asked as the bailiff brought the water.

He heard her a bit more clearly this time and knew he needed to communicate. "Head hurts," he gasped out, visibly struggling to breathe.

"Is that all?" she asked offering him the water glass, holding it to his lips so he could sip it.

He took a small sip of the water, and managed to say "Hot...can't...breathe."

"Okay, is it like with DJ? That time when I was sick?" she asked reaching to find his pulse.

"No," he gasped.

"Worse?" Mac asked worrying when she found his pulse racing.

His only reply was a pained moan as he reached his hands for his head, stopping short as he lost consciousness.

"Call an ambulance!" Mac instructed as she and the bailiff worked to ease Harm down to the floor. She held his hand in hers and whispered, "It's going to be okay."