A/N: I asked my friend and co-writer Snugglebug to post a note about my irregular posts. I am going to try to post once or twice per week, but until my health and my fiance's improve and stay improved I can't promise. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed.

To those of you though, who seem to think it is okay to make vulgar and outrageous comments about where this story might be going, and you know who you are, please refrain from reviewing. If you need to express your opinion that badly, my e-mail address is listed under my profile. Contact me directly and I promise I'll reply. I promised a shipper ending, I did not promise that it would be moonlight and roses on the way. My own life now isn't moonlight or roses, and I have learned a few things from that. Nothing worth doing and nothing worth having is gotten easily. The struggles make you appreciate it all the more. Take that as you will, don't take anything for granted, and appreciate what you have. As for this story, you don't have to like it, you don't have to read it, but I do ask you respect the journey.

He didn't remember falling asleep that night when morning broke the following day, but he knew he did. He was still in his uniform shirt and pants, having shed the jacket on the chair by the door. He looked at the clock, it read 1007. He thought about getting up, and then decided not to bother. He clung tighter to his pillow and wallowed a little deeper in his own pity.

By noon time that day AJ arrived in his room, "Time to get up Commander. Daylight's burning."

"AJ, please," said Harm. "Just leave me alone. I don't feel like getting up."

AJ sat down beside him, "So you're just going to lie there for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe," replied the heartbroken father.

"And what am I going to tell Lucy and DJ?" he asked. "When they ask me why they have to play with me on visiting days because Daddy won't get out of bed."

With a reluctant sigh, Harm tossed the covers back and sat up. "There. Better?"

"Much," AJ replied. "Now get in the shower, there's breakfast and Maureen McAuliffe called twice."

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he mumbled, getting out of bed and going to grab clean boxers from the dresser.

"Harm?" AJ called. "I know it's hard, but it's not over unless you let it beat you. Chew on that." With that he left.

Meanwhile, in a house in Manassas Mac paced. "I need to call him."

"No, no way," said Mic. "We won, he lost, that's the way the game is played, Sarah. You know that; we both do."

"I just can't," Mac sighed. "He looked so broken, so...and his health right now..."

"For someone you're divorcing," said Mic. "You sure seem to love him an awful lot. Why so you care how he feels about this?"

"Because he gave me the two most precious gifts any man can ever give to a woman, my daughter and my son," Mac told him. "And...for their sake, I need Harm to be okay. It'll destroy our baby girl, especially if something happens to her Daddy."

Mic sighed. "I don't want you calling him. We need to communicate through the attorneys."

"I called his lawyer all ready," Mac answered. "She hasn't heard from him since. I have to do this Mic. For Lucy."

Mic shook his head. "Whatever. I think it's wrong, but you do whatever you're going to do."

"Mic, please support me in this," Mac asked, reaching for his hand. "I need your support."

He looked at her for a moment before a little smile broke on his face. "Okay, Sarah. Okay."

With shaking hands Mac dialed the number of AJ's home phone. The retired Admiral answered.

"Chegwidden."

"Hi, AJ," Mac greeted.

"Hello," said AJ. "What can I help you with?" He was definitely miffed about the way things went between his "children."

"I was wondering if I could speak to Harm," Mac said, sensing that AJ was not very happy with her.

"I'll see if he's awake," said the retired Admiral. He went to Harm's room, tapped him on the shoulder and handed him the phone. "It's Mac," he whispered.

Reluctantly, Harm took the phone and the call. "What?" he said into the receiver, foregoing the usual niceties for obvious reasons.

"Why are you still in bed?" Mac asked. "Its 1330."

"None of your business," he answered.

"I think it is," Mac replied. "Are you ill?"

"No, I'm not," he said, clearly annoyed. "Why are you even bothering me today? Didn't you do enough damage yesterday?"

Mac sighed, "I wanted to see how you were. I...I was worried about you."

"Yeah, okay," he scoffed.

"Its true," Mac insisted. "I know things didn't go the way you hoped and...you didn't react the way I expected."

"You took my kids away," he said. "What'd you want me to do? Stand up and rant and rave about it?"

"That's what I expected, not this...this complete withdrawal. You didn't even call the kids, he didn't say you couldn't call them," Mac sighed.

"I know I can call" he said. "I just didn't choose to do it yet."

Mac was silent a few more minutes. "Harm, we both know the Judge made the right choice. The kids are still babies, they need their Mommy."

"They need their Daddy too," he said. "There's a reason it takes both to make a baby, Mac; ever thought about that?"

"Of course I did," Mac replied. "Often. But...but there are things I can do for them, that you can't and..."

"You know what? Just save it," he said defensively. "All I can say is I'm so glad I didn't bring another baby into this world with you as its mother given that you can't take care of them half the time. I'll call the kids soon." With that, he hung up the phone and hid away in his bed once more.

Mac stared into the phone for five minutes before replacing it on the hook. Then she sank down sadly on the sofa.

"What's wrong, love?" asked Mic when he came in and saw her.

Mac shook her head and fought tears.

"Hey," he said softly, sitting beside her. "What happened? Did he upset you?"

Mac nodded, "Yes, but not how you'd expect. I...I feel bad that he's so depressed and...and of course he reminded me...we never had that baby we wanted and I still want another one and now I'll never have it."

"Oh, Sarah," he said, wrapping his arms around her. He was quiet for a few moments before asking her a very surprising question. "Would you consider...us having one together?"

"Mic," Mac sighed. "We've barely begun seeing each other and...it'll take a lot for us to have a baby, and the risks are astronomical," she sighed. "Maybe it's just not meant to be."

"Maybe not," he agreed. "But maybe it is."

Mac leaned back to study his face, "You're serious aren't you? You'd actually consider fertility treatments with me?"

"Yes, I would" he replied honestly. "I'd be more than thrilled if we could have a baby together; one of our own."

Mac smiled, "Can I think about it for a little bit?"

"Of course, love," he said softly, rubbing her arm as he spoke.

"Thank you," Mac sighed and leaned into him. "And thank you for being here with me through all this. It means a lot to me and I appreciate it."

He gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "You mean a lot to me, Sarah; that's why I'm here."

Mac returned Mic's gentle kiss with one of her own before cuddling into him again, resting her head on her chest, thankful for his strength to get her through this. Now all she needed to do was get through two more weeks.

Harm went to work, went to AJ's and went to sleep. That was his life for the next two weeks until it was finally the weekend he got to see his children. He'd spoken to them, but hadn't held them or played with them since the last bang of the gavel. Now though, it was time for him to pick them up.

He'd never been so happy to see anyone in his life as he was to see Lucy and DJ come running towards him as he entered the front door of the house.

Harm caught DJ in his arms first and hugged him tight. He reached for Lucy but she crossed her arms and recoiled.

"What's the matter, Button?" asked Harm.

"I don't want to go with you," she told him, blue eyes holding a coldness he'd only seen a few times before, never directed at him.

"How come?" he asked gently.

"Because you didn't want me," she said, her lip out so far now a bird could land on it.

"Oh, baby, that's not true at all," he replied softly. "The judge just decided that you should spend more time with Mommy than with me, but that doesn't mean I don't want you."

"Why don't you come visit?" she asked. "Like before."

He sighed; how could he possibly make her understand? "Because Mommy and Daddy aren't supposed to see each other very much, and since you live with Mommy, I don't come visit like I want to. Would you like me to come visit more often?"

Lucy nodded, "I want you to be my Daddy."

"I'll always be your Daddy, Lucy Bear," he said, opening his free arm to her, hoping she'd this time accept.

She did and began to cry once she was being held close. "I don't want Uncle Mic to stay here. I want you back here and I want..." She stopped chatting and started sobbing.

It broke his heart, but there was so little he could do. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered. "Daddy's sorry."

At Lucy's cried Mac finally came out of the kitchen, "What's going on out here?" she asked softly, leaning down near to Lucy.

"I miss Daddy," sobbed the little girl.

"Oh," Mac soothed. "I know, but Daddy's here now and you get to spend the whole weekend with him at Uncle AJ's house."

Lucy nodded, beginning to calm down. "Can we play in the yard?" she asked her father, looking up at him, tears still slowly falling.

Harm nodded, "Sure we can. But for now you have to run and get your stuff, okay?"

Lucy ran off to get her little bag, and DJ toddled after her. "She's having a hard time."

"Can't imagine why," he said sarcastically.

"Can we at least try to be civil?" Mac asked him. "For their sake."

With a sigh, he nodded.

"She's having a hard time," Mac said again.

"All kids do when this happens," replied Harm. "We have to do everything we can to help get her through it."

Mac nodded, "She's been sleeping with me and she's been sick again. Sinus infection. Watch out incase she has a nosebleed, she's had a few of those."

He nodded. "I'll watch her."

"Thank you, oh and maybe you can speak to her about how she's treating Mic," Mac said easy. "She's really disrespecting him and she's not listening to me."

He gave her a look at first as if to say "Yeah, what're the odds I'm gonna help you with that?" but soon agreed with a reluctant sigh.

Soon the children were back and with DJ in his arms and Lucy's hand in his Harm took his babies to the truck. He drove to AJ's house with them and played with them and cared for them that night. He put Lucy to bed and DJ kissing each child before he retired himself only to be woken three hours later to Lucy's screams.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he ran in to check on her.

"I had a nightmare," she whispered holding tight to her Pooh bear.

He took her into his lap and kept her close. "Tell Daddy about it."

"It was...Mommy went away," she sniffled. "And I had to stay with Uncle Mic."

He squeezed her tight. "I know that seemed scary, but Mommy isn't going to go away."

"You did," Lucy whispered and burrowed closer in spite of those words.

"But whenever you need me," he said softly, "I'll always be there. I promise."

Lucy looked up at her Daddy, big blue eyes shining with tears. "I need you when...when he's yelling at me and when..."

"When he's what, baby?" encouraged Harm.

"When I'm getting punished," she whispered.

"Uncle Mic punishes you?" inquired the concerned father.

Lucy nodded, "Yes. He yells and yells at me until Mommy tells him to stop it. I don't want to be bad, but I can't help it."

He held his baby girl extra tight. "I know, sweetie. We're all bad sometimes, even Daddy."

"And Uncle Mic too?" Lucy asked.

"Mm-hmm," he answered.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" Lucy asked. "I don't wanna sleep by myself."

"Sure," he answered, kissing the top of her head. "Come on, let's go get some sleep."

The weekend went all too quickly for the Rabb children and their father. On Saturday, Harm took DJ and Lucy to see the ships at Norfolk, then for Chinese food. On Sunday, he helped Lucy with her math, then they watched a Disney movie until it was time for them to go. The knock at the door that day was like an arrow through Harm's heart.

Rising from his seat on the couch, he went to let Mac in. Imagine his amazement when instead, Mic was at the door.

"What're you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm here to get the children," Mic replied. "Hey, munchkins," he greeted. "Get your coats."

DJ sat and stared, then muttered, "No coat."

"Come on, buddy," said Harm, grabbing DJ's coat off the back of the couch. "Time to go."

"Mommy?" he asked. "I want Mommy."

Lucy for her part pulled her legs up into her chest and stayed on the sofa.

"You're going to go see Mommy," said Harm, hating to have to send his children with Mic. "Get your coats on and you can go see her, okay?"

DJ relented with his father's promise of Mommy, but Lucy locked her arms around her knees and said, "I'm not going."

"Baby, you have to go," said Harm. "You can come see me again soon, I promise."

"I don't want to go with him," Lucy answered. "I'm not going."

With a sigh, Harm offered a compromise. "How about if I drive you? Would that be better?"

"I'll drive her, Harm," Mic interjected. "You had your turn. Lucy, come on now, don't act up."

"If she's upset about going with you," insisted Harm, "I'll drive her." He left no room for debate.

"I don't want to go home, I want to stay here," Lucy whimpered and began to cry. "I miss you Daddy, I don't like him. I don't want to be with him. I hate him and I hate Mommy."

"Hey, hey, Lucy," soothed Harm. "Don't say those things, they're not nice to say. I know you don't wanna go, but you have to right now. Remember, the judge said you have to spend some time with me and some time with Mommy."

"But I don't see you ever and I see Mommy all the time," Lucy sobbed. "It's not fair. I want to stay here. I want to stay with you. Daddy, please." She begged and dissolved into full fledged sobs. Inexplicably at the same time, DJ turned on Mic and kicked him square in the shin, before working his way to his cry sister, "Don't cry."

"Come here, Button," he said after a moment, picking his daughter up and holding her close.

"Please, let me stay here," she begged as Mic scolded DJ gently for kicking him.

He once again felt as if his heart would break. "Oh, Luce...you can't stay, sweetheart. I'm sorry; I love you so much, but you have to go back to Mommy's house for now."

"With Mommy," Lucy told him.

"Mommy didn't come today," said Harm. "You need to go with Mic."

"NO!" Lucy shouted and clung tighter to Harm. "I don't want to go with him. I want you and Mommy. I don't like him. He's mean!"

Mic approached them then, "Lucy, enough now. Let's go," he reached out and tried to remove her from Harm's arms to take her into his own. "We'll go for ice cream, eh?"

"No," cried the little girl. "I just want my Daddy!"

"Lucy," Mic sighed. "Enough. Let's go," he pulled at her a little harder. The harder he pulled the tighter she held on.

"I'm gonna follow you over," Harm told Mic. "I'm not gonna make her go with you like this."

"The court says, Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. It is afternoon. You drive her, you're in breech," Mic told him. "You take her, you never see her again."

"Then call Mac to come get her!" said Harm firmly. "She's not going with you like this; I won't allow it!"

"Mac is busy, that's why I'm here. Lucy, let's go and get you're coat now!" Mic barked.

Harm reached for Lucy's coat and draped it over her shoulders as she remained in his arms. "I'll carry her out," he said to Mic.

Mic nodded and took DJ's hand. "Lucy sad," he told Mic.

They walked as a group to Mic's car, and as Mic got DJ settled, Harm took to the chore of prying Lucy off his shoulder so he could strap her into her booster seat.

"Daddy, please!" she cried. "Please let me stay. I won't be bad. Please."

He swallowed hard and blinked back his tears. "I'm sorry, baby girl."

"Why don't you want me to stay?" she asked, big blue eyes leaking tears.

"It's not up to me, sweetie," he said softly as he buckled the last of the straps.

"Daddy!" she started to cry out as he rose once her strap was buckled. "Daddy! Daddy!" Lucy continued to cry for him, screaming his title as Mic started the car, and as they began to drive away. When the car stopped at the stop sign at the corner, he could still see her bucking in her seat and feel more than hear he cries for him.

He held himself together until he got back in the house and made it to his bedroom, where he flopped down face-first and cried out what was left of his broken heart.

An hour later, the phone rang.

"Harm?" Mac's hoarse voice came over the line. "Harm, it's me." She was crying.

"Mac? What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's Lucy," she manages as her voice hitched again.

"Is she okay?" he asked, beginning to panic. "What happened to her?"

"She's okay, but she's been screaming for you for the last ninety one minutes," Mac told him. "I don't know...what happened today?"

He sighed. "She didn't wanna leave. Didn't wanna go with Mic."

"He doesn't hurt her Harm, believe me," Mac replied. "But...she's so sad. I'm not sure if..."

"Go on," he prodded.

"I don't think they should be picked up. I think it would be best from now on if you bring them home," she said.

He thought for a moment. "Yeah, maybe so."

"You sound sick," Mac said. "Are you sick? Is the bronchitis flaring up?"

"Dunno," he replied, feeling more hurt and tired than anything.

"Well you take care of yourself okay," Mac sighed. "How's the blood pressure?"

"Dunno that either," he said.

"You're supposed to get it checked twice a week," Mac sighed. "Harm, I know things suck right now, they do for me too, but please, take care of yourself. You won't be any good to Lucy or DJ if you have a heart attack or worse a stroke. You did have a minor stroke..."

"I had a TIA," he corrected. "That's not a stroke."

"Well, it certainly scared me near to death, and Lucy and DJ need a Daddy," Mac pressed.

"And they have one," he said plainly. "I'm fine."

"Okay, well, I'll see you next month," Mac told him. "Get the pressure checked. For them."

"Yeah," he said unenthusiastically.

With a sigh, Mac ended the call.