A/N: Here's Chapter 54! Once again thank you to Snugglebug. You're a gem! Look for our first completely joint effort to be out in a few days…A holiday story!

A month later, following a weekend of fun with their Daddy, it was time for Lucy and DJ to go back to Mac's house. As discussed, Harm drove them back as opposed to having anyone pick them up, hoping this would make things easier on Lucy.

However it did not, it was only worse as she sobbed and cried for her father until she was sick to her stomach, begging him not to go and physically trying as much as her tiny body could prevent him from going.

After that scene, Lucy dozed off to sleep and DJ was happily playing with his boats at Mac and Mic's feet. Mac sat down and began to cry.

"Hey," said Mic, putting an arm around her. "What's wrong, love?"

"It hurts her so much," Mac sobbed. "So much."

"I know," he soothed. "It's hard to see her cry like that, but don't be sad. We have plenty to be happy about, right?"

"She's my baby, Mic," Mac sobbed. "And she's hurting. Maybe, I made a mistake."

"What kind of mistake?" Mic asked nervously.

"Maybe she needs to see him more," Mac suggested.

"In time, perhaps," he said. "But for now I think once a month is really all she can handle."

"I think its all he can handle too," Mac sighed and leaned over to be cuddled.

"So what do you think of things from Friday afternoon?" he asked, keeping her close. "What do you think we should start with?" That past Friday, Mic and Mac had consulted Dr. Bradley for their fertility options.

"Can we deal with one topic at a time?" Mac asked. "He doesn't seem right, does he?" she asked him, meaning Harm.

"I'm sure he's fine," insisted Mic as he ignored her request. "I think we should try on our own for awhile, eh?"

Mac shook her head.

"How come?" he asked.

"The...the frequency required to achieve a pregnancy is...too much...for me," Mac told him.

"Oh, come one now," he scoffed. "Too much? For you? I find that hard to believe, my love..."

"It hurts sometimes okay," Mac told him. "I don't think I could handle sex three or four times a day for three days. I just can't."

"Well then," he said. "What do you think we should do?"

"I think we go with the insemination," Mac told him. "Its easy to do, not overly expensive and that way we can still enjoy intimate moments."

"I like the sound of that last part," he replied with a sly grin as he leaned in and kissed. her.

DJ made his feelings on that subject known, "Yucky!"

Mic laughed. "Oh, buddy, someday you won't think that."

DJ climbed up in Mic's lap and gave him a hug, "Play boats?" he asked.

"Sure, pal," he replied. "Where should we play?"

"Here," DJ told him and pointed to the floor where he'd been playing. "Fly plane," he told Mic and handed it to him. Harm always "flew" DJ's planes.

"Okay," said Mic, taking the small fighter jet in his hand and flying it around.

Mac smiled as Mic and her son played. DJ had warmed to Mic, was beginning to see him a father figure. If only Lucy could do the same. Mac walked to her daughter's room and sat down on her bed, wiping the hair away from her face. Lucy stirred.

"Mommy?" she asked.

"Yeah, baby," Mac smiled. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Mmhmm," answered the little girl. "I'm still kinda sleepy though."

"Lucy, can you answer me a question?" Mac asked. "Two questions?"

"Okay, Mommy," she said.

"Mommy would like to know why you cry so much when it is time to leave Daddy?" Mac asked. "Is Mommy doing something to upset you?"

She shook her head. "I just miss Daddy."

"I know, Baby," Mac replied. "Do you think maybe you shouldn't go visit him for abit. Maybe get used to not seeing him so much?"

"But I miss him," she said, her bottom lip beginning to quiver.

Mac pulled Lucy close, "I know. But Mommy wants for you not to hurt. That's all. That's all," as she began to rock.

Lucy clung to Mac. "I love you, Mommy," she whispered.

Mac kissed Lucy's hair, "I love you too, Lucy Bear. So you want to go see Daddy next..." Mac paused as the phone rang.

"Sarah!" Mic called. "Pick up. It's General Cresswell!"

Leaving Lucy in her bed, Mac went across the hall and took the call. "Hello, Sir?"

"Mac, can you meet me at Bethesda?" he asked.

"Uh, sure, Sir," Mac replied. "May I ask why?"

"Commander Rabb has just been taken there. He collapsed in his office a half hour ago," the General replied.

"Oh my God," Mac gasped. "I'll be right there, Sir! Thank you."

"Mic!" Mac called. "Mic I have to go. Watch the kids."

"Go where?' asked Mic.

"To Bethesda. Harm's collapsed at the office," Mac said in a rush. "Where are my keys?"

"At the office?" asked Mic, rising from the floor to help her find her keys. "But it's Sunday."

"The General said at the office," Mac said. "Where are they, I have to get to him. I..."

"Here," he said, pulling the keys out from beneath a stack of newspapers.

"Don't let Lucy know a thing," Mac warned.

Mic nodded. "Call when you know anything," he said.

Mac nodded and with a firm kiss was out the door.

Mac rushed through the double hospital doors and saw Harm's CO standing at the nurses' station in civilian attire. He was drinking coffee and watching a door across the hall and the entranceway alternately. "Sir!" Mac called when she saw him. "Sir, how is he?"

"Don't know yet, Colonel," answered the General. "They're still doing some testing."

"What happened?" she asked out of breath. "Did he have pain? Were you there? Did you see it happen?"

The General nodded. "I saw it, yes. I didn't know what happened, just that something did."

"Did he say anything?" Mac asked wanting some idea of what had landed Harm in the hospital.

"No, he didn't," replied Creswell. "I sensed he wasn't feeling too well when I first saw him come into the office, but I didn't realize he was as sick as he apparently is. Do you know if anything is going on with him medically?"

"He's been struggling with the bronchitis," Mac replied. "But lately his blood pressure has been all over the place. I know he hasn't been taking care of it..."

"That blood pressure stuff is nothing to mess with," stated the General bluntly. "A cousin of mine had BP issues, didn't keep on top of them and now he's half paralyzed from a stroke."

"Okay," Mac smiled. "Here we go, home sweet home," Mac smiled as she pushed Harm's chair into their living room. It had been two months since his right side had been paralyzed from a stroke and in that time they'd healed some of the wounds left bleeding after their divorce, though they'd yet to remarry. "How you doing?"

He shrugged his left side. "Okay, I guess."

"You sound really good now," she smiled. "So much better than when you were in the hospital."

"Thanks..." he managed to get out, speaking still difficult and slurring still commonplace.

"Do you want anything? Something to eat or drink?" she asked. "Lucy and DJ will be here in an hour."

"Dr...drink," he stammered. "Water."

"Okay," Mac smiled again and went to get his a glass of water, making sure she brought the soft white cloth she'd need to catch any drops that escaped the paralyzed side of his mouth. She held the cup out to him. "Here."

He took it in his left hand and drank from it slowly, hoping to minimize the mess. Still a little did end up running down his chin.

Mac gently reached out to wipe the drops off his chin, "Messy, Sailor," she lightly teased.

He smiled as best he could anymore. "Some th...things never change."

Mac knelt before him, reached out and took both hands, "Hold my hands, Harm," she told him.

He squeezed her right hand warmly with his left, but the other remained lifeless as he looked down at it.

"Try Harm," she pushed. "Come on."

He looked up at her and did his best to get his stubborn right hand to respond. After a moment, sighed and looked down at the floor.

"Its okay," Mac smiled. "Soon. You'll be up and around before you know it."

"Not looking forward...to that," he said.

"You're not looking forward to getting better?" Mac asked. "Why not?" This was said so softly as both of her thumbs massaged his hands.

"Better, yeah," he said. "All the...pain, no."

"Pain?" Mac asked. "Yes, there will be pain, but I'm gonna be here for you. We're gonna make it through this together. You'll see."

He looked once more down at the floor and then back up at her. "But when I'm better...I'm out of...here. I don't want...that."

"Hey, we came a long way since this all happened," Mac told him. "Didn't we? I for one...part of me is glad it happened."

He looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. "You don't understand?" she asked to clarify his feelings.

"I do," he said. "Just think there...must have been a better...way than this."

"Maybe," Mac nodded. "But the bright side of this is that we're together again. I want to be with you Harm, in sickness and in health too. We really did terrific job of messing up our marriage, I want something good to come of this, and even if you never get out of this chair, I want us to say it was worth it because we found our way back to each other. We did, didn't we?" she asked.

Again, he smiled. "Yeah, we did."

"I still love you Harm," Mac told him leaning a bit closer. "Please?"

He hesitated at first, but something about having her so close to him was more than he could resist. He leaned up to kiss her, and though his kisses had changed with his illness, the love behind them hadn't.

"I should be that lucky," Mac mumbled aloud without realizing it.

"What was that, Colonel?" asked Creswell.

"Nothing, Sir," Mac replied.

He nodded. "The doctor should be out soon."

Just then Harm's doctor did appear, "General, Sir," he greeted. "Is this..."

"This is his children's mother," said the General matter-of-factly.

"How is he doctor?" Mac asked.

"He's come around," the doctor replied. "As of right now he's suffering from a speech deficit and partial right hemipelgia. His testing is negative though, so we suspect it is similar to the episode in his chart here. Would you like to see him?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I would."

Mac was led back to Harm's room. He was lying in bed surrounded and propped on pillows, facing the wall. Mac walked in slowly, "Hi."

He didn't acknowledge her save for the pitiful "hi" he gave in return.

Mac moved to sit next to him, "How are you feeling?" she asked putting herself in his line of vision speaking softly and tenderly as she has in her dream.

"Bad," he answered softly, weakly.

"I know," Mac nodded and reached for him. "Do you know what happened?"

"Same...thing," he spit out.

"Harm, talk to me," she urged. "Please. I know things are hard for you and I know...why aren't you taking care of yourself?"

"Like you...care," he huffed.

"I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't care Harm," Mac told him and took his right hand. "Squeeze," she told him.

"Go...away," he said.

"No," Mac said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere. You are still Lucy and DJ's Daddy and I still care about you very much. I don't like what's happened, but it's happened. Now we have to move on and live with it. Can you squeeze my hand?" Mac asked again.

Reluctantly, he put forth some effort and squeezed her hand like she asked him to.

"Now please tell me why you aren't taking care of yourself. I know talking is hard so take your time, but I'm not leaving here until we talk," Mac told him. "And I'm not leaving you until you're fine again."

His eyes instantly said "no" to the idea of her remaining with him until he recovered. "No, Mac," he said. "No...You need to take ca...care of the kids, not...me."

"And how do you think the kids will feel if I leave you like this?" Mac asked. "Hmm?"

She was right. "I'll be...fine soon. Don't...worry about me."

"I am," she insisted. "I'm so worried about you. The Admiral says all you do is sleep, work and sleep that's it. And now after you drop off our children you land in a hospital with a major blood pressure related event. If it's too much, say so."

"Not," he said. "I'll be...fine."

Mac nodded, "Can I do anything for you while I'm here? Would you like anything?"

He was silent for a moment. "Water."

Mac released his hand and poured him a glass of water. "Need help?"

"No, I got it," he said, taking the cup and sipping carefully from the straw.

Mac sat with Harm until she saw his eyes starting to droop, "You feeling better? Anymore strength?"

"Not really," he said. "Kind of...hurts now."

"That's good," Mac smiled. "That means the numbness is going away. You feeling sleepy? You look sleepy."

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Would you like me stay with you while you sleep?" Mac asked. "Or sit with the General?"

"General," he said, wanting to be alone in his misery.

Mac nodded, "I'll be outside when you wake up," she told him and rose to leave.

"How is he, Colonel?" the General asked the moment he saw her.

"Tired and depressed," she sighed. "Says he's got a bit of pain now, too."

"He's very lucky," the general sighed. "Mac...can I...since the divorce he's been doing worse."

She unconsciously fidgeted with her now bare left ring finger. "I know. He's taking things really hard, things with the kids especially. He has to take better care of himself, for their sake if not his own."

"I've been thinking, but I don't want to upset your children...I've been thinking of transferring him temporarily," the General told her.

Mac nodded pensively. "It might be something to consider if this is how he's going to be staying where he is."

"I don't want a dead officer and at this rate that's what I'm going to have," the general sighed. "Speaking freely now, for God's sake, once a month, Colonel?"

"It seemed right at the time," she defended. "Now, though...maybe not so much."

"If I decide on a transfer, he'd be TAD to recruitment at one of America's law schools. It would be a break for him," the general told her. "I just don't want to upset Lucy or DJ, is that right?"

"Yes, Sir," Mac said. "If you feel it'd be best for him, I'm...I'm all for it."

"All right then," he nodded. "When the Commander is better I'll discuss it with him. The only reason I spoke to you about it is because of the children. We'll do it on a trial basis, fall semester."

"That sounds good, Sir," said Mac. "Anything to help him..." She sighed, unsure of everything she felt inside for the man she so brutally divorced. All she knew was that for the children's sake, he had to be okay. He just had to.

"I'll sit with the Commander, you need to sign some papers then you can go," Cresswell told her.

"Thank you, Sir," she said before starting towards the desk. "He'll be okay, right, Sir?"

"The doctor said his Catscan was negative," Cresswell replied. "He should wake up tomorrow or even later tonight just fine. Bring his daughter by to see him tomorrow." He said it as if it was an order.

"I will, Sir," she replied, and with that she took her leave.

The next day found Harm doing noticeably better. He was sitting up in bed, having just finished picking at the tray of food the hospital cafeteria provided, when the General arrived.

"Good morning, Sir," said Harm, voice showing marked fatigue.

"Good morning, Commander," the General greeted. "How are you feeling today?"

"Tired, Sir," answered Harm, leaning his head back against the pillow.

"You scared a lot of people yesterday, Commander," the General scolded. "Me included."

"My apologies, Sir," said Harm. "I haven't been at my best lately."

"I've noticed that, Commander and that has set me to thinking about something," Cresswell said.

Harm looked at his CO. "I'm listening, General."

"I'm thinking of giving you orders to Utah," the general told him. "We're recruiting from the top 50 law schools in the country and I think the calmer atmosphere and the less stressful way of recruiting might give you the break you need to get back on your feet."

"Utah, Sir?" asked Harm. "What would my duties be?"

"Observing and evaluating mock trials and court martial in their legal practices and procedures courses mostly, and make JAG sound like an appealing option to young legal eagles," the general outlined. "Should be easy for you to do."

Harm nodded softly in thought. "I'd...It'd mean leaving my kids."

The general nodded, "This is not an order. It's an idea. You are under a good amount of stress and that stress is affecting your health. That could upset your kids. And what is the custody arrangement, once a month?"

"That's right, Sir," said Harm sadly.

"They could come out and see you there then," the general provided. "And at any rate, it's only until the middle of December, to give you time to regroup if you will."

Once more, Harm nodded. "I'll give it some serious thought, General."

That moment, there was a familiar little call from the doorway. "Daddy?"

"Hi, Lucy," Harm sighed and turned his head to see his daughter. He sounded exhausted even to her young ears.

The little girl walked in apprehensively, followed closely behind by Mac. She didn't say anything more until she reached Harm's bedside. "Are you sick?"

Harm nodded slowly, "Yeah, Daddy's a little bit sick," he admitted. "But I'm going to be okay. Wanna come up to me?"

She nodded and carefully climbed into the bed, snuggling in close as she was able

"Wow, you sound much better today," Mac smiled. "Do you feel better?"

"Some, I guess," he replied before Lucy looked up in confusion. "Did you sound bad before?" she asked.

Harm thought about how he could explain, "Well, Lucy," he began. "Yesterday Daddy has a very bad headache, you know like you get sometimes?" he asked to make sure she was understanding.

The child nodded.

"Well when Daddy's head was hurting, something inside it stopped working for a bit, like a vacation…" he paused again.

"It stopped working?" The look in her eyes showed uncertainty.

Harm nodded, "It took a break, like when it's a Monday and Daddy stays home from work," Harm clarified.

"Okay." said Lucy, still not sure what to really think.

"And when that happened," Harm sighed. "Daddy had a really hard time talking. I could talk, but it was hard work for a while and it was hard to understand what I was saying."

She looked her father in the eye as her own eyes filled with tears. "You couldn't talk?" she asked in a sad whisper.

"I could," he told her. "But is was very hard for me for a little bit and I got really tired, but I'm okay now."

Lucy didn't buy it. She burst into hysterics and buried her face against Harm's chest.

"Lucy?" Harm asked gently. "Its okay, Button. Its okay," he soothed. "Daddy's fine now. I'm just fine."

Mac moved in and started to stroke Lucy's long thick hair as the General excused himself.

Lucy heard what her Daddy said, but continued to sob without ceasing.

"Lucy, Daddy is okay now," Mac told her. "Mommy saw him yesterday and today he is all better. I promise."

"He couldn't talk!" sobbed the child, her cries replaced momentarily by her cough.

"Lucy, Lucy..." Mac soothed. "Ssh. Come to Mommy. Come here."

As Harm lay on the bed he could feel his pressure begin to rise. He felt his face grow warm and his head begin to pound.

"Mac," he said, feeling flush and beginning to sweat.

"What?" Mac asked. "What is it? Harm?" she asked quickly while taking their crying daughter away from him and holding her close

"My head," he whispered, closing his eyes and resting against the pillow.

Mac reached for the call button, "How's your side?" she asked. "Take slow breaths."

"Daddy!" sobbed Lucy. "Daddy, don't be sick!"

"Lucy," Mac said gently as the monitor attached to Harm's arm started to beep loudly as his stress level rose. "Lucy go stand with General Cresswell," Mac told her as a nurse entered the room. They could see the general outside.

"Easy, Commander," the nurse soothed injecting something into his IV. "Calm down. Calm down."

"Daddy!" cried Lucy as she stood next to the General.

The hardnosed Marine saw his own daughter in the tiny Rabb girl and lifted her up to console her as Harm's doctor appeared and closed them out of the room.

"Harm?" Mac asked gently as the nurse administered a shot and his doctor took a manual blood pressure.

He looked at her, panic in his eyes.

She reached out and offered her his hand on his right side.

He took it without thinking; the fact remained that having her nearby was comforting to him.

Mac smiled, "What's happening?"

"Commander Rabb's blood pressure is rising to a critical level. We've given him medicine to bring it back down," he told her. "What brought this on?" He asked it of Harm.

"My little girl is..." he began, taking a pause to catch his breath. "Upset."

The doctor nodded, "Commander, do you realize you nearly died on us yesterday. If your CO hadn't gotten you in here when he did...You have to avoid stress and change your lifestyle in order to assist us in getting your blood pressure under control. You must do this. Now, I'll leave you with Mrs. Rabb. Keep him calm," he ordered and left.

Harm looked over at Mac, his hand still in hers. "I'm sorry."

"This is not your fault," she told him. "I shouldn't have brought her."

He shook his head gently. "I wanted to see her."

Mac smiled, "I know. I don't hear her, I bet the General is telling her stories."

"I bet he is," whispered Harm. "Go see if she's okay."

Mac stepped outside for a few minutes then returned to Harm smiling.

"She okay?"

Mac nodded, "I don't know how he did it but she's smiling and eating ice cream," Mac told him. "Actually I do know how and I'm not sure I agree with it, but...it worked.

Harm smiled a little. "Bribery has its place in the world."

"You doing better?" Mac asked.

"Mmhmm," he answered. "Mac...we need to talk about something the General told me."

Mac nodded, she all ready knew but she'd indulge him. "What?"

"He offered me the chance to get a break from things here" he said softly. "TAD to Utah until December."

"And?" Mac asked.

He sighed. "I'm gonna do it. I can't let this happen again; Lucy, she... I need to go."

Mac nodded slowly, "I think you do as well. I want you to be okay Harm. We put each other through Hell..."

"Oh, I beg to differ," he spat. "You took my kids away from me; you put me through far more hell than I-"

Mac's response at first was one of worry, "Harm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just great," he replied sarcastically, feeling the hurt from that awful day in court all over again.

"I'm trying to be nice. I still care about what happens to you," Mac told him, her voice getting a slight edge.

"Only for the kids sake," he said, having long ago convinced himself Mac didn't care about him anymore.

"Maybe," she replied.

"Better take Lucy and go home before she gets upset at you, too" he said bitterly.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to her?" Mac asked.

He nodded briefly. "Bring her in."

Mac brought Lucy in and Harm reassured her that he'd see her when he was out of the hospital and that he'd be just fine really soon. She smiled and put a butterfly kiss on his cheek before leaving with her Mommy for home.