Guess who's back! Back again! I am sorry I had zero time to write until today.
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
- Glimpse of Light
Chapter 4 – Lost her
He felt so angry. If he wasn't going to appreciate her, why couldn't she see him? Saeyoung glanced at his phone. He understood that Yoosung had still some pretty deep scars.
He was really close with Rika and he lost her. He understood that grief, but comparing Rika with Mc? Mc was the most precious girl he ever met and Yoosung didn't even saw what he had. Yet, Mc wasn't mad. She wasn't going to abandon him. Saeyoung tried explaining it to Yoosung in the RFA chatroom. He saw the previous conversations between Zen and Yoosung. Yoosung was pretty upset when Zen tried to confront him with the facts. Rika was gone. She wasn't coming back and Mc was nothing like her. Saeyoung knew way more about Rika than anyone, except for V, of course. Yet he couldn't say a word. He found out in the past and time had changed since then. Saeyoung still couldn't understand what happened. His phone rang. It was Yoosung.
"Sup!" Saeyoung said cheerfully. "Hey… can I talk to you for a little bit? I need someone to listen to me. I can't stand to hear Zen lecturing me and Jumin has no heart.
Calling Jaehee feels weird." Yoosung sounded very insecure, like he was on the verge of breaking.
Saeyoung sat down on his chair and tried not screaming at him. He was still very angry and upset that he lost Mc to this ungrateful boy.
"Sure." He coldly said. Yoosung took a deep breath and started talking. "Everyone said that it is wrong to compare Mc to Rika, but I can't help it you know?
It doesn't feel like comparing. She really is like Rika~! She is caring, listens to me, comforts me and tries to help me the best she can! Rika used to do that too. I just can feel it.
Mc is made for this job. It is fate that we met!" Yoosung chuckled but then went quiet for a bit. "Is it sick to think like this?" he asked.
Saeyoung kind of felt bad for the boy. He genuinely doesn't know what to believe at the moment and he could understand that. "Yeah.. sorry to say it, but it is.
How would you feel when Mc would constantly bring up an other boy, saying you guys are the exact same?" His voice was flat when he said that. "I… I wouldn't like it!"
Yoosung said, with a grumpy undertone. "But it isn't the same!" he finished. Saeyoung sighed. "That's not true. It is the same but you just can't understand it.
Think about it, okay? I need to go. Work is piling up and I am just a poor slave. What if they cut my honey Buddha chips sources short? Can't let that happen! Bye." Saeyoung forced a laugh and hung up. "That child." He growled and he started typing on his keyboard again. He seriously needed to finish work before he would get in trouble.
"Seven!" Vanderwood was glaring at him. "When are you ever going to do something useful." Saeyoung pretended he was hurt and shook his head. "I am useful just by being here. Don't I lighten the mood?" he grinned and looked at Vanderwood. "No. You just make my days worse by your god awful jokes. When are you ever going to clean this room?" Vanderwood gestured to the empty cans and bags. Saeyoung shrugged and turned around to the computer screen. "Dunno man. Maybe never?" Vanderwood sighed and walked away. Mission succeeded. Got rid of the annoying person. He turned his favourite music on and finished his job in 20 minutes. It was too easy. Saeyoung started sketching a bit and found himself drawing Mc in a space station. "One day, I will find you there."
It was 2 AM. His heart was bleeding. His tears were flowing. His mind was screaming.
Why did it hurt so much? He knew from the start this was coming. He thought he was prepared for this. He wasn't. He wasn't prepared at all. "Yoosung~ I missed you!"
That message was only the beginning of the chatlog which broke Saeyoung's heart. Yoosung and Mc were kind of dating. At the party it would be official. It was clear they loved each other. After that phone call between him and Yoosung, Yoosung made up his mind. He found out he had real feelings for Mc. Saeyoung got them kind of together.
"I am so done." His voice choked in his throat and Saeyoung stormed out of his house. He looked at the stars and cursed them. He lost her. He lost her. He… lost her for good. What if this is the new reality? What if they stay together forever? What if he dreamt that he and Mc were together once but it was a lie? He felt like he was going insane.
"I am sorry… I can't be happy for you guys." Saeyoung whispered and started crying. He sat down on the pavement and let his tears flow freely.
He wasn't going to pretend he was okay. For once, he let the despair free.