See previous chapters for summary and disclaimers

A/N: I appreciate all who have written to see what was going on with this story. It has been a very difficult time for me, losing Mark and trying to move on with my life. I've moved in with my sister now and I'm as happily settled as I can be in Texas so it is my hope that now that all of those things are past, I can get back on my regular update schedule. Thank you to all who have prayed and read and continued to care… - Kris

Harm was exhausted from the encounter so much so he slept through that night and all the next day. When he hadn't awakened near lunch time on the second day, she sent for the doctor. He was assessing Harm's condition as he woke.

"He seems to be the same, Sarah," Dr. Baker replied. "His fever has dropped, and the swelling him is arms has gone down. I'm concerned though about his left arm and leg, the leg mostly."

"Any idea what the problem is?" asked a very concerned Mac.

"With his arm and leg, or why he's sleeping so much?" the doctor asked.

"Well, either," she responded. "But I'm guessing the sleeping is his body's way of healing, correct?"

"Yes, and escaping the pain as well," the doctor replied. "I'm concerned that his left side has been affected more severely by the infection. It's more swollen and hasn't gone down much at all. I'm afraid there might be permanent damage."

"Oh wow," gasped Mac, feeling the kind of heartache for Harm that she'd felt in the rougher times of their marriage, the few times he'd been the sick one. "When...how will we know?"

"There are tests to be run at the hospital, but mostly we'll know when the swelling goes down and he hasn't regained full use of that side," Dr. Baker replied. "It can be very insignificant, just achy when the weather is damp or he might require full time care for the rest of his life. I can try to drain it again, get out more infection, which might help the prognosis a bit."

She sighed. "Well, he's not alone anymore. He's got me and we're together again, and I'll do whatever I can for him."

"Sarah," Dr. Baker sighed. "If those joints are incapacitated, he won't be able to do much for himself. It'll be hard, and...Are you sure you understand what might happen here?"

"He may need me to care for him for the rest of his life," she said. "I'll do that if need be. He's planning on moving back home to Virginia once he heals a little more, and then he can be near our children and I can take care of him."

"He could be fine," the doctor reiterated. "He's young and strong, but I have to prepare you for the worst and that is that he'll be permanently bedridden or very close to it. Normally in someone his age it of course does not go that way, but I feel it is always best to be aware. Now, about treatment...would you like me to drain the joints again?"

"Yes," she said. "He needs to wake up anyway."

"Why don't you wake him while I prepare the needles," the doctor suggested. "Have him take this pill. It'll help with the pain."

Mac took the pill from the doctor and went to grind it like she did the others. "He's still not able to swallow his pills whole?" the doctor asked, now concerned.

"Oh, he can," she assured the doctor. "I just like to make it as easy for him as I can."

The doctor nodded, "If he doesn't wake up easily, I'll do the procedure tomorrow," he replied. "Give it a try."

Mac nodded and went back to where Harm was lying on the bed. He was mostly on his back, but his features were no longer peaceful as they had been. She sat beside him and ran a gentle hand down his cheek, it was warmer than it should be, but not hot as it had been. "Harm," she said gently. "Harm, wake up, Sweetie. Come on."

He stirred and looked at her. "Is...it morning already?"

"Actually its late afternoon," Mac replied. "It's nearly dinner time."

"Whoa," he mumbled. "I'm so tired."

"I know," Mac sympathized. "You've been sleeping a long time. Almost two days, I was getting worried," she said softly. "The doctor is here."

"Two days?" asked Harm. "Damn, no wonder I feel like crap."

"Crap," Mac nodded. "Nice Sailor real nice. Seriously now, how are you feeling so I can tell the doctor?" Mac asked, reaching for is hand which he had hidden under the covers.

"I'm...hurting," he replied with a yawn. "I'm so stiff, ugh."

"Want to try to move a bit?" she asked. "I can help you to sit up if you like," she offered. "Just tell me."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Feels like I've been beaten up and left for dead."

"Okay, just raise your arms up and I'll shift you," Mac told him. "I knew the other night was...was too soon for you."

"Other night?" he asked.

"Yes we..." Mac began then looked into his face. "You don't remember?"

"I remember getting up for a bath," he said. "Oh yeah, that's it; no wonder I'm so out-of-it. Yeah, you were right, too soon to be trying to move like that."

"What do you remember us doing that night?" Mac asked, her heart dropping to her stomach at the though he may not recall the beautiful night they spent in each others arms; this while she lifted him upwards so his back was against the pillows instead of his head.

"You helped me get out of the bed," he answered. "I think we made a step or two, and then the pain was so much we gave up. I fell asleep after I got back in bed; I know that much for sure because it's the only explanation for why the remainder of the time between then and now is blank."

Mac bit her lip to keep from crying as her fears were confirmed, "It was too much," she managed, but her voice still cracked.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, noticing how upset she'd become. "It's okay; it was just a bath, we can do it today and it'll be just fine."

"Let's let the doctor judge that," Mac replied. "How bad is it today? I know it hurts but how much. He says he wants to drain the joints out again."

"Oh, not that again," he said. "It's not that bad today, Mac. I'm stiff and sore, but not enough to need him to drain anything."

"He's all ready examined you and he thinks it necessary, Sweetie," Mac replied, the endearment slipping out. "I'll stay the whole time okay?"

He sighed. "Anything for the pain first?"

"Yes, right here," she replied and handed him the cup of milky colored liquid. "Can you hold it?"

"Mm-hmm," he responded, taking the cup from her.

"Your right hand looks much better," Mac smiled. "Don't miss a drop."

He drank down his medication and handed the cup back to her. "I'm starting to feel some better," he said. "Which is good."

"You think you might be up to calling your daughter later?" Mac asked, wiping a drop of liquid from his lip.

He sighed. "Probably should, though I don't want to scare her."

"How would you do that, Honey?" Mac asked.

"She's just like you, Mac," he said. "She can tell when something's wrong with me."

"She knows you've been very sick and that I've come to care for you," Mac replied. "See how you feel later. Can I send the doctor in now?"

He nodded.

Mac went and called for the doctor. Mac sat with him and held his hand as the doctor drained the infection from his joints and finished examining him. "Harm, I'm concerned. I've talked with Sarah, but I think it is imperative that you know as well."

"Okay," said Harm, resting against his pillows.

"Do you need anything Harm?" Mac asked. "A drink?"

"No, I'm good," he said. "Talk to me, Dr. Baker. What do I need to know?"

"Sarah, can you pull his covers back for me? I want to see Harm, if you notice a difference," the doctor said.

She did as he asked, revealing the state of Harm's physical condition to all present.

He looked. "Left is more swollen."

"Exactly, and that's very upsetting," he replied. "The more swelling the more infection and with more infection we have a higher risk of permanent damage to the joint," the doctor explained.

"So...what you're saying is this may never go down?" asked Harm.

"Oh it will," the doctor replied. "But the joints may not function as they should...The lack of mobility..." The doctor looked at Mac who nodded. "Everything you are experiencing now maybe permanent, except for the swelling."

Harm lay back against his pillow. "When will we know?"

"When the swelling goes down, if the pain and the lack of mobility remain, we'll know," the doctor replied. "I'm going to come and drain everyday until that happens. The less infection present the better the chance you'll only have to worry about this when you're sick."

"I understand," said Harm solemnly. He looked up at Mac.

"It's going to be okay, Harm," she whispered. "I'll be with you and I'll take care of you, I promise," Mac told him. "You won't be alone anymore. I'll be here from now on."

He shook his head. "No, you have your life to get back to; our kids to take care of. You can't commit to this kind of thing, Mac."

The doctor rose and nodded to Mac and Harm, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Mac nodded and went back to Harm, "Harm, did you hear him?"

"I heard him," he said. "And what I heard is that I may be like this forever, and if so then it'll be something I did to myself and something I'll have to live with. You've already...I won't let my poor judgment take over your life again, Mac."

"Harm if you...you might need full time care and I'm going to give it to you," Mac insisted. "I'm not going to abandon you, not again."

"Full time care? Mac, there's no way," he said. "That I'll let you set aside your life for that kind of undertaking. We're divorced, you're with Mic...The days of this being your responsibility are past. I...I love you for being here for me, but it can never be a forever thing."

"Well what if that's what I want to do?" Mac asked rising. "What if I want to take it on, huh? Shouldn't that be my choice?" she asked him starting to pace in front of the bed.

"It can't be, though" he said gently. "If things were different, maybe, but they are what they are, and I just can't see how you can..." His voice trailed off. "You really mean this, don't you?"

"I do," Mac replied. "If I was lying in that bed right now there would be no question what you'd do, what you'd sacrifice. Why should I be any different?"

He sighed. "I...don't know. You moved on with life after the divorce, so did I. We're not 'us' anymore; maybe that's it."

Mac put her hands on her hips and faced him dead on, "Do you want me take care of you? If you could choose between me and someone else anyone else..."

"No one has ever taken care of me like you, Mac" he whispered. "I just...I don't understand why you want to."

"Because we were special," she replied. "We had something, we really did. We just didn't know it. I didn't know what...I didn't know until I got here and saw you lying here so sick it was days before you knew I'd come. And I caused that, caused this, me. Not you. Don't you see?"

The tears were falling freely now, and Mac turned her back to him and began to walk away from him.

"Mac, wait," he said. "Please look at me."

She stopped but did not want to turn around and let him see her tears. "No, I don't want to look at you while you lie there and deny me what is my right and my du...my right."

"I just don't understand how you feel this is something you have to do," he said, his voice growing strong with conviction. "After what I did to you, I'd never dream of expecting you to even do what you've already done, let alone volunteer to be my nursemaid from now till who knows when. We used to have something, we don't have it anymore, and you...you just don't need to do this."

"I need to get out of here," Mac said then. "I need to get some air."

"Yeah, might help clear your head," he said with a bit more sarcasm than intended.

"Do you need anything before I go?" she asked voice tight with unshed tears.

"No," he said softly, fidgeting with the edge of his sheet. None of this made any sense to him, no matter how badly he wished it did.

"I'll be back in an hour or so," Mac told him. "Don't get up until I get back."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, pulling his covers up a little as he heard Mac walk through the living room and out the door.