Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own and I certainly don't make any money off of this. Thanks for reading.

Harm and Mac were used to long and silent car rides where the tension was so thick even a well sharpened knife would not be able to even score it. Still there was something about the thickness of this kind of tension that made them feel as if just maybe they could, by sheer force of wanting crack it like an egg shell. They'd had it only a few times before, this kind of fear, this kind of tension. It was the fear that only came to parents when their child was threatened. At a stop light on their way back towards Reston, they stole a glance at each other. Neither had tears on their faces, in fact, there was not any real emotion at all being portrayed there. Their eyes met a brief moment and locked something they had very often done in the past, each searching for the silent invitation that had at other times like this always been there. Neither found what they sought.

After a few more silent moments Mac cleared her throat and asked, "Harriet was concerned when I called so quickly. She is going to ask us what is going on. What should we be telling people?"

"Bud and Harriet aren't exactly 'people' Mac," Harm replied. "They are our friends. I think we should tell them what Dr. Hill suspects."

"And Lucy?" Mac asked. She didn't think her daughter would think much of the day's events, but she had surprised her mother before.

"I think we can pass it off for now," Harm replied. "In fact, I think we should make it our business. Why should she get herself worried and upset for what could turn out to be nothing."

He was doing it again. Harm chose the oddest times to become an optimist. "You're doing it again," Mac pointed out.

"Doing what?" he asked negotiating the turn off the exit ramp.

"We were both in the same meeting," Mac replied. "I think we heard the same words."

"God, Mac," he replied. "I heard them, of course I heard them. I was the one who saw…How did we miss it?" he asked then. "How the Hell did we miss it?"

Mac shook her head, "Because we wanted to," she suggested more than replied. Who wants to realize those things, things that may be signaling you that your child might have a serious, life threatening illness? "Or maybe…Maybe what Commander McCool's been saying is true," Mac sighed.

"Commander McCool?" Harm queried. "You're still seeing her."

"I started again…after," she let the end of the sentence hang off to see if there was the barest hint of recollection in his eyes. She stole a sidelong glance but received no reward. He was waiting for her to finish her sentence, "After I got pregnant."

Harm nodded and was quiet again for a few moments, "What did you mean when you said I was 'doing it again'?" he asked.

"Wanting the impossible," Mac replied. "Most of the time we are alike, we see the facts, see things for how they really are, but at the most bleak times, the times when we really needed to be on the same page you just put on the rose colored glasses and tinted everything happy."

Harm knew what she meant. He had done that and for the first time he was realizing what that action, the action of being strong and positive, of taking the worries on himself and trying to be a rock for her had only hurt her, made her think he didn't take her seriously, maybe didn't even pay mind to what she was saying to him when she talked. "I'm sorry," he said softly, apologizing not just for this time, but for all of the times. "I thought…I don't know what I thought," he finished not wanting to let her in to see that part of him. He was too vulnerable, and anyway, things between himself and Mac weren't like that anymore.

He set the car in park and helped Mac out of her side of the car, watching her every step as she walked towards Bud and Harriet's front door.

DJ was so busy playing with Jimmy and AJ he barely noticed his parents; Mac's eyes scanned the room for Lucy as Harriet led them to the kitchen for a brief visit. "Where's Lucy?" Mac asked.

"She was playing with the boys downstairs," Harriet replied. "When Bud went down to see they wanted a snack she was sacked out on the couch. He decided to let her sleep."

Harriet detected some strong tension between her friends, and not just between them, things had been tense for so long between Harm and Mac that the tension was normal and not hardly noticeable. This was different. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

The two shared a glance, but neither one spoke for a moment until Mac answered, "Lucy's doctor had some questions for us. She was concerned about some things and wanted to let us know what might be going on."

"Anything serious?" Harriet asked more to draw out an explanation rather than out of ignorance. She knew for a doctor to call both parents to the office on a Saturday the situation had to be serious.

Mac looked at Harm, relying on him to give voice to the thing that threatened their little girl. He swallowed, "Dr. Hill says that many of Lucy's symptoms taken a lone well are not much, but taken together, they strongly indicate Lucy may have leukemia."

Harriet gasped, then, "Bud, can you come in here a sec?"

"Cool it a bit boys," the three adults heard Bud instruct the boys before entering the kitchen. "Hi," he greeted Harm and Mac. "What's up?"

Harriet made an inviting motion to indicate she wanted them all to sit. She went to the refrigerator, took out a pitcher of iced tea and poured them drinks. "We were just telling Harriet," Harm began. "Lucy…her pediatrician wants to run blood tests for leukemia."

Bud's face blanched white as he studied his friends and though of the little girl he thought of as a second daughter asleep in the family room, "Wow. That is pretty heavy."

"What you must be going through…" Harriet tried to sympathize.

"We'll handle it," Harm replied, evident to all in the room his protective wall had been erected to block out any and all feelings and any and all perceptions about the matter. Harriet turned her eyes to Mac. He face was stone cold, though both Roberts knew their friends had to be scared, angry, and so many other things, neither of them betrayed a single emotion on their face.

"We'll help you in any way we can," Bud supplied. "You know that."

Two solemn and silent nods were the only answers. Harriet slid her foot to the left, enough to nudge Bud's leg under the table, "Bud, why don't you and Harm go see if Lucy is awake yet?" she suggested outwardly. It was clear to Bud and to Harm and Mac as well they wanted to separate them. Harm needed to let the wall down a bit and gratefully accepted Harriet's suggestion.

The two men, two fathers walked down the steps to the basement/playroom and neither were surprised to find the little brown haired girl fast asleep on the couch cushions. Bud sat and the one cushion not occupied by Lucy's small body and Harm too a seat on the floor near Lucy's head. Bud looked his friend in the eye and held his gaze firm, he wouldn't encourage Harm to open up; he wouldn't have to.

"Bud, this…" Harm began. "It was a physical, a simple physical so Lucy could join that Ladybug soccer league. Just a routine…"

"It's a good thing, Harm," Bud replied. "Lord knows how long it was undetected all ready. Every minute counts and if you'd waited until she was sick again until it could be written off again you might not have a good a chance as you do now."

"I don't even know what kind of chance we have," Harm replied. "Dr. Hill, her face was so serious. Stone like serious, like AJ's when he used to be really upset at us for something. There was such a sense of urgency…"

"Shouldn't there be?" Bud asked. "Even if this is the earliest stage, the earliest it could possibly be detected it still is an urgent thing," he tried to reason. "She might just be being cautious, too. You don't know."

Meanwhile, upstairs in the kitchen Harriet and Mac were having a very similar conversation, "Oh I know," Mac replied. "I'm her mother. The minute Harm called me I knew something was wrong. I got to thinking in the car…all of the time we spent, he and I slinging mud at each other, fighting over the kids, over the stupidest thing…If I'd put have as much energy into the signs and signals that something was wrong with my daughter…we might not have to face losing her."

"Mac, there are some children who develop leukemia for not other reason than that they do and nothing you could have noticed or caught would change that fact," Harriet comforted. "It's not like she drank alcohol or cleaning fluid because you weren't watching her. This is not your fault," Harriet told her reaching across the table to take her hand. "All right?"

"No," Harm replied. "Not all right. I can trace this back, trace back every signal and sign to…to before the "thing" with Annie…"

"Whoa," Bud interjected. "Just hold on. If Lucy developed cancer back then she'd be dead by now. That was probably the dumbest thing you ever did in your life up until now, but that is in no way going to make what is or is not wrong with Lucy your fault."

Harm nodded and though over Bud's words, "Until now?"

Bud nodded, "Harm, didn't the last three years with Mac teach you anything. This wall you've got up…you still cannot admit you are human in front of her, that you feel every bit of pain and fear that she does, can you?"

"She's got the baby to worry about and everything…" Harm began.

"So what?" Bud cut him off. "So what if she has the baby to worry about. You both…" he looked at Lucy. "Share a baby you're both probably going to have to work very hard and very closely to care for and to save. That is no time for pride, fear, or excuses."

"Harm made all of the excuses, Harriet," Mac countered. "That's all he knew how to do well in our marriage. More times than anything I'd have to watch him completely shut down and I mean shut down…hysterical, physically ill, completely unable to move or sometimes even to breath all because somewhere he decided he had to be the rock…I didn't need a rock, I just needed a partner."

Harriet nodded, "After Bud lost his leg, until we both sat each other down and made the other realize all we needed was for the other one to be supportive and to be needed for support we did fine…You have a golden opportunity here, Mac."

Mac studied her iced tea cup, "No…it won't work. And that's the last thing I'd want to do if Lucy really is sick, use her illness to get back into Harm's life. I have Mic and he has…has Analise…"

"Speaking of Analise," Bud inquired. "What are you going to tell her? Are you going to wait until you know something, or talk with her right away?"

"I don't see why she should have to worry with me," Harm replied. "Monday is soon enough."

"And if Lucy's is diagnosed?" Bud asked. "What then?"

"Then…then I won't have a choice will I? For now…for now this is something I'd like to just keep between the four of us."

"Mic's going to find out, Honey," Harriet soothed. "I know he's and Lucy really don't have the best of relationships but I can't imagine he won't soften to her a bit when he sees how much like you she is. She's got Mackenzie and Rabb fight and stubbornness in her. Those things are formidable when they clash, and unbeatable and strong like iron when they join. You are going to need Mic's support."

"I know," Mac replied. "I'm just not that far down the road just yet. I'm still praying and wishing its still Friday night and I'm going to wake up from this Hell."

Harriet reached across the table and took her friend's hand, "This is going to sound empty and stupid but just tuck it away all right. Everything happens for a reason, and in spite of everything we do know, we don't know all. I know you aren't a God type of person, but when something like this happens, there really isn't much else you can be. Just do with that what you will and know we are here, Bud and I, no matter what."

An hour later Lucy had woken up and Harm had helped Mac load DJ and Lucy into her car to head home. With both kids safely secured in their seats he shut the car door and moved her to the front to speak without a chance of being overheard, "They are going to call Monday morning," he reminded her. "I'd like to see if I can't get the morning off and be there with you when the call comes in."

"I'm not telling Mic until…" Mac began.

"I know," Harm replied. "I'll take a personal day, I'll all Coates and tell her to inform the General of an emergency I had and ask that he call me for the details. Mic will be at work…he won't have to know I was there. I just…I want to be there with you…for you and…we're her parents…"

Mac nodded, "In spite of all we've put each other true, how terrible we have been…I want you with me and I want to be there for you when we find out. She's our daughter."

Harm nodded and opened his arms to hug her tightly, "It'll be okay. You take it easy until Monday. Try to eat and sleep. Call me on the cell anytime you need me."

Mac squeezed him, "That goes for you too. I mean, if you need me."

Harm nodded, "See you Monday."

Mac smiled a bit and got into the car to begin the drive back to Manassas. Harm turned his car in the direction of Analise's apartment, both on edge, both terrified and both determined to for their daughter amend their ways and try…even if in vain to repair the tatters of their hearts.