Disclaimers apply.

Chapter 77

Harm followed closely behind the medics with Matthew in his arms as Mac was rushed across the street to the hospital. There was no waiting this time; they were all taken immediately to the back of the emergency room.

Mac was taken back to a trauma room while a young nurse approached Harm and tried to take Matthew from him.

"No," he said firmly, emotion still dripping from his every word. "Don't touch him."

"I have to take him, Sir," the nurse said gently. "The pediatrician has to check him. You can come with us."

"I can't leave her," he said, tears rolling down his face as he watched from a corner the flurry of activity around Mac's gurney.

"Their taking care of her," the nurse replied. "Don't you want to be with your son while we measure him and weigh him?"

Before he could reply he heard the ER doctor call, "Who is with this woman?"

"I am," said Harm, swallowing hard and trying to make himself appear as professional as possible.

"Who's her OB?" he asked. "She needs surgery."

"Dr. Bradley," said Harm. "Is she gonna make it?"

"We're doing all we can," he replied. "Someone page Bradley," he ordered as he disappeared behind the doors again.

Harm looked down at Matthew, once again asleep in his arms, and he felt himself begin to come apart for the hundredth time.

"Sir, come on now, let's us check your son," the nurse said trying to keep him focused. "We have to make sure he's okay. You can carry him," she bargained.

With a nod and a few deep breaths, Harm followed the nurse around the corner to another exam area.

Matthew was cleaned and examined and found to be in perfect health. Harm was allowed to hold him as he waited for word on Mac. He sat for about five minutes after the exam, and then saw two surgical shoes in front of him. "Commander Rabb?"

"Captain Rabb," corrected Harm, rising to speak with the doctor.

"I apologize," the young doctor said. "Dr. Bradley referred to you as Commander."

"I was the last time he saw me," said Harm solemnly. "How's my...how's Sarah?"

"She's critical. Dr. Bradley has taken her up to surgery to try to stop the bleeding. It is more than likely she suffered a uterine rupture while she was delivering the baby. He's going to do everything possible," he replied. "It will take a few hours. He suggested you might be with your daughter. But he's a boy."

"Yeah, he sure is," said Harm, looking at Matthew with a sad smile. "Dr. Bradley meant that I might be with my older daughter, who's across the breezeway in the children's hospital. Leukemia."

"Well, why don't you go there. He said he'd find you when he's finished with your wife," the doctor replied. "Oh and he suggested I give you this." He held out a bottle and burp cloth.

"Oh, thank you," said Harm. "I was just about to ask if I could get a bottle for him, you know, since his mom..." He stopped talking and looked around the room, trying to will himself to keep it together. "Anyway, thanks. I'll sit here and feed him, and then I'll send him back to the nursery and go sit with my daughter. Will you know where to send for me when my...when Sarah comes out of surgery?"

"I believe Dr. Bradley plans to go to your daughter's room. He assumed you'd be with her," the ER doc replied. "If...if it helps, Sir. She opened her eyes once in there."

All Harm could do was nod, picturing Mac in there, fighting to make it through this. "It helps," he whispered to the doctor. "Thank you."

Harm sat in the hard waiting room chair and fed his son. The boy ate greedily sucking the bottle down in record time, and burping well too. He would be a good baby, like his sister more so than his sometimes moody and picky brother. When Matthew was finished eating Harm turned him over to the nurses with instructions to come get him when it was time for his next feeding. Then, secure that his baby son was sleeping peacefully he went to see his baby girl.

He walked into Lucy's room and saw that she was still nibbling on her breakfast. "Hey, Button," he said, forcing a smile on his face as he walked into the room.

The nurse who'd been feeding her in lieu of Mac smiled, "Would you like to take over?"

"I'd be glad to," said Harm, allowing the nurse to vacate the chair next to the bed.

"Where's Mommy?" Lucy asked her father. Usually he came later after radiation and therapy.

No reason to lie. "Mommy can't come today," he said. "She had the baby last night."

Lucy smiled, "Did I get a sister or a brother?"

"You got," said Harm as he dipped the fork into the scrambled eggs and offered it to her. "A little brother and he's so handsome."

Lucy took the bite of eggs her father offered. "I wanted a brother."

"You did?" he asked with a smile. "How come?"

"I like DJ," she replied. Then, "No more."

"How about some of this toast with grape jelly?" he asked.

"No more," she replied and started to play with her chemo port.

"Don't mess with that, baby," he said as he piled the remaining food and utensils onto the tray and pushed it out of the way. "Well, you got your wish; you have a new baby brother."

"What's he called?" Lucy asked and continued to fiddle with the connection.

"His name is Matthew," said Harm. "Do you like that?"

"Like Mommy's Uncle," Lucy sighed. "Can I hold him?"

"I'm sorry, baby," said Harm, reaching over to gently move the child's hands away from the port. "Matthew is a tiny little baby, and they won't let him come over here because there are some bad germs that might make him very sick."

"When I go home?" Lucy asked. "That's hurting me Daddy."

"I know it is, Button," he said, "I'll see if they can do something to make it not hurt so much, but yes, when you come home, you can hold Matthew for as long as you want to."

"Is Mommy going to come tomorrow?" Lucy asked.

He took a deep breath. "No, mommy won't be here for awhile, maybe not for many more days."

Lucy's lower lip began to quiver then. "Then who's gonna help me with my exercises?" she asked. Mac helped Lucy do her therapy to keep her disabled leg muscles strong.

"Well," said Harm. "I'll be here, and I'll help you. I know mommy always did it, but I bet if you show me how, I can learn it really fast."

Lucy smiled a bit then. She hated those exercises. They hurt pretty bad. "We can skip them."

"I don't think so, Lucy Bear," said Harm with a little smile of his own. "Mommy made me promise to..." He couldn't get through the sentence.

"Daddy?" Lucy asked little brow furrowed. "Are you sad?"

He looked at his little girl. "Yeah, Luce. I'm very sad."

"Why?"

He rested his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands, trying to find the words to tell her what happened. "Mommy is very sick right now. When she had baby Matthew, something went wrong, and she's having an operation right now to try and make it better."

"Sick like me?" she asked. "Does she hurt like I do?"

He shook his head. "No, she's not sick like you, sweetie. You see, she lost too much blood from her body when Matthew was being born, and that made her very tired and very weak. The doctor is trying to make the bleeding stop and make her feel strong again."

Lucy nodded and shifted in her bed. "I hurt right now Daddy." Mac had a sense for when Lucy started to hurt, Harm did not.

"You do?" he asked. "Do you want me to go tell your nurse?"

"You got to push that button," Lucy pointed to her PCA machine. "Then you hold my hand and sing to me."

"Oh, okay," he said tentatively as he reached for the button attached to the wire draped against the machine. He pressed it and heard it beep. "Reaching out to take her hand in his."What do you want me to sing, Button?"

"My sleepy song," she replied. "Got to help me lie down first. Those drops make me sleep."

With a nod, Harm stood up and helped the little girl lie down and get comfy, and then he wrapped both of his hands around both of hers and began singing the words which had been "her" song since she was still within her mother's womb. Within two minutes, Lucy was sleeping peacefully, so Harm let go of her hands and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

He watched her sleep for hours, learning her sounds when she'd start to hurt and pressing the trigger to deliver more medication. Finally he heard a soft tired voice, "Harm?" It was Dr. Bradley.

"Doctor," said Harm, rising from his chair. "Is she okay? What happened? Can I see her?" The questions came one on top of the other.

"Let's just slow down, Harm," the doctor said gently. "Let's find a place to sit down."

With a nod, Harm led the doctor out into a bench in the hallway, a few feet outside of Lucy's room. He took a seat and looked up at the doctor. "Tell me everything."

"Sarah suffered a massive uterine rupture while delivering her baby. She lost a lot of blood and the uterus was damaged severely. Her system couldn't withstand...I'm sorry, Harm," Dr. Bradley sighed. He knew this wasn't the news Harm was hoping for but nonetheless it had to be, and so it was done.