Here's chapter 2 people. Sorry that it's taken me a little while to update (if anyone is actually reading this garbage) but I've really been super busy. I've always been working on a Roger x OC story, which has taken up quite a bit of my time. I'm hoping that after a few chapters I'll also be able to start posting for that story, too.
I won't give anything away though!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Flies or the characters associated with it.
You happy, now T_T. I said it!
[Chapter 2 Sleeping Beauty?]
Ralph opened his eyes and jolted upright, which was a big mistake. His hand flew up to caress his forehead as a shock of pain ran through his head. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to be sick. He began gagging. Just when he thought he was really going to lose his boring breakfast of fruit, fruit and fruit, he heard something. Someone was snoring very loudly next to him.
What? Ralph stopped dry heaving and looked up for the first time. Ok, I'm definitely not on the island. He was surrounded by hundreds of sleeping people. Not only that, but they were all dressed similarly to what you'd expect from the medieval times, not the twentieth century.
Ralph stood up quickly, which was harder than he expected. He didn't remember being this heavy. Actually, since he'd been on the island he'd begun to deteriorate. He didn't have the boxer build he'd had when he first washed up on the island. Now he was just skin and bones.. So why-? He trailed off, looking down at himself. Great, now I'm dressed up like them too.
Except Ralph wasn't dressed like a peasant. No, no, no, not Ralph. Instead, he was clad in shining armour, with his sword hanging by his side and a shield lying on the floor in front of him. That must've been what he'd hit his head on earlier, bastard. Ralph kicked it and looked at it distastefully, before picking it up. He'd find a use for it.
"I suppose I'd better find Eric."
"HOLY SHIT, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"
"Jack, calm dow-"
"HE JUST FUCKING STARTED SHINING LIKE THAT GAY VAMPIRE FROM TWILIGHT-"
"The hell is Twilight?"
"What?" Jack replied, confused. Roger looked at Maurice, his face etched with concern.
"I think he's delirious," Maurice chirped.
"No shit," Roger sighed, he looked at Jack who had began to freak out over the blond boy's disappearance just moments ago. "Jack."
Jack was now clinging onto Sam, while shouting gibberish. Roger slapped him. This annoyed Jack, " don't forget whose chief."
"THEN START BLOODY ACTING LIKE IT - YOU'RE CLINGING TO A FUCKING TEN YEAR OLD FOR FUCKS SAKE."
Jack eventually calmed down, now pretending that nothing had happened. Maurice enquired whether he'd recovered from his mental breakdown due to the loss of his boyfriend. Jack remembered no such thing and insisted - "HEY!" Maurice proceeded to hide behind Roger.
Jack tried to change the subject. "Look, men. We need to find Ralph."
"What about my brother?" Sam snivelled.
Jack rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, we'll find Evan-"
"Eric"
"-Eric, too."
"Hang on," Robert looked puzzled, "what the fuck, Merridew, we don't even like them. We should just pronounce them dead and move on without having them in our way anymore."
"Naw, man. I just want to find him so that I can kis- kill him myself to prove myself as chief."
Everyone tried to ignore his slip up. Bill stepped forward, asking the one question no one could answer: "how do we get there?"
Ah. Yes that bit of information may be helpful.
Ralph was now more than certain that he was in a castle right now, and the events taking place seemed familiar to him somehow. The hundreds of sleeping people. The three fairies zooming towards hi- wait
Before he could finish that thought, he was hit by a blur of pink, green, blue, and, if he was not mistaken, orange hair. "Jack?!" Ralph exclaimed. Said boy moved from burying his face into Ralph's chest to lying in his lap. "What the hell are you doing in a dress - and makeup, really? I mean I'm used to the stuff you wear on the island but really?"
Jack never answered. Nor did the others, who Ralph had only just taken notice of, "Oh, come on. Maurice, Robert, you too?!" Ralph threw his hands up for extra effect.
The three drag queens quickly exchanged a glance, before Jack tutted. "Listen, my sweet, we don't have any idea what you're talking about. My name's Jackie…. Do I look like a man to you?"
Ralph didn't answer that. "My name's Maureen, and this is Robyn." Maurice grinned, before curtseying, sending his blue dress flouncing momentarily. "How do you do?" Robyn winked at him.
"Ok, tell me what you want before this gets even weirder."
Jackie…. God, this was wrong on so many levels…. Jackie nodded, "by the looks of your outfit, your sword and your handsome face, we figured you must be the Prince."
Just go with it. "Yes, do go on."
"We need you to kiss your Princess, duh!" Maureen interjected, flipping non existent hair over his shoulder. Ralph simply raised an eyebrow but continued to wait patiently. "You see, she was lured by that… that witch," here Maureen stamped her/his foot, " and, just like the curse warned, she has pricked her finger on the spinning wheel and has fallen into a deep sleep!"
Ohhhhhhh, I get it now. This is Sleeping Beauty. Well, Ralph figured he might as well go with it. Perhaps by completing the story he could get out of here and back to the others. But not without finding Eric first.
"Where is she?"
"She's up in that tower," Robyn pointed to a large, very sinister looking tower ahead. The bricks looked like they were going to fall out at any moment, sending the tower crashing down like a mighty oak.
"Piece of cake." After all, if he remembered correctly, this would be the worst of his problems.
"I wouldn't get so cocky if I were you, look." Jack rolled his eyes, pointing to the dragon perched on the tip of the tower. Ah…. how did he not see that?
"Should've gone to spec savers."
"Sorry?" Ralph said.
"Huh?" Maureen asked innocently….. Whatever.
"... Well, what're you waiting for? Off you go!" Jackie pushed him. Hard.
The dragon notices him now, and swoops forward, intending to strike. Ralph yelps, but manages to pull his sword out in time to block. "IT IS I-"
"Maleficent…. Right?"
"-ROGEFICENT!"
"Of course."
"AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAST ME. THE PRINCESS IS MINE."
"Why do-" Ralph blocked another attack, "why do you want her so desperately? Can't we, ya know, trade or something. I think I've got….. chocolate? chocolate in my pocket?"
"No, that's rat shit." Ralph yelped and dropped said item from his hand. "I need the princess because my last torture victim died….. And I like them…. Pretty. Young. Fresh. I've had my eye on her for a while now. Now I've come to claim her."
"Kidnapping 101."
"ENOUGH!" Rogeficent boomed, " ENOUGH OF THIS POINTLESS TALKING. DON'T THINK I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS YOURE DOING."
"...No, I'm actually this confused." Clearly Rogeficent didn't like being talked back to, for he breathed a long jet of fire towards Prince Ralph. Ralph managed to block just in time, although now his shield was barbecued. "Hey," Ralph turned to the fairies, "in the story, you guys give me enchanted shit!"
"Sorry, we're out of credit." Jack blurted.
"We don't look this beautiful without using a little magic of our own." Robyn shrugged, before gesturing to his/her gown and makeup. Maureen was to busy looking in a hand mirror.
"Please, I need your help." Ralph pleaded. Rogeficent just chuckled darkly, and made his way back around for round two. His target - a helpless Ralph - looked around desperately for somewhere to hide, something to use as a shield, anything!
He took in a large puff of air, but before he could breathe out he heard something. Something really annoying. He turned in the direction of the fairies; one was missing. The annoying sound is getting closer, but poor Rogeficent cannot work out where it is coming from.
He can now make out words, "Jackie is such an idiot," cue giggling. Rogeficent screams, "he…. She…. huh… Jackie thinks that pink is better than blue. I mean, come on, pink is just incredibly camp. Blue on the other hand, now that's both feminine and strong. Hey! It would really bring out the colour of your eyes. Y'know, I think I might still have some eyeshadow left over, I could bring out those eyes in a flash, hon!"
"DRAGON DOWN, DRAGON DOWN. MAY DAY, ANNOYING CAMP CROSSDRESSER IS STABBING ME IN THE EYE WITH A WEIRD PUFFY STICK-"
"I'm trying to apply your makeup. Now hold still!"
"GAHHHHHHHH"
While these events had been going on, Ralph had taken the opportunity to slip past the dragon and into the tower. He looked at the flight of stairs and struck a confident pose, "don't worry, Princess. I'm coming to save you."
"Oh my God." Ralph dragged himself up the last step. The 276th step. Yes. He'd counted. But this didn't matter for he knew it wouldn't be in vain; from his position (collapsed) on the floor, he could see the Princess' chambers.
Wasting no more time, he burst through the door and rushed to his side. Kneeling, he looked into her beautiful face and admired-
"OH MY FUCK."
It was Eric. In a dress. Fast asleep. The first thought that came to mind was, "what the fuck? Why cant anybody in this goddamn story figure out whether they're a boy or a girl? I'm sure the dragon said 'she'."
Eric was still asleep, despite the outburst, and he didn't make a single sound. Ralph had to act quick; Rogeficent could realise that he was gone any second now and come back to fight. Wasting not a second longer Ralph swooped in, closed his eyes, and hoped that he wouldn't get slapped later. But his lips never touched eric's. Instead, they met the floor.. For the second time that day.
He looked up and at first he believed that Eric had woken up. But when he looked to the bed, he saw that Eric was still lying fast asleep on the bed, and Sam stood next to him, red faced and angry. "Sam!"
"You're not taking my brother's first kiss!" Sam pouted indignantly. He then spun dramatically to face his brother and got down on one knee. Taking both of Eriic's hands in his own, he leaned in very slowly.
Ralph gasped, "twincest?"
Sam's eyelashes brushed back and forth gently against Eric's until the movement was reciprocated. "Sam!"
"Eric! I've been-"
"-So worried about you!" They beamed and held each other close.
"Ralph!" Ralph was suddenly pulled out from this heartwarming moment between two brothers by a voice from the window. He rushed over and looked down, only to see Jack, Maurice, Robert (and this time, they're not in drag), Roger, Bill and the others waving up to him.
Ralph grinned wildly, "we're coming down! Eric's fine!"
But they don't, because suddenly their sight became warped, and the scene began to change.
End of Chapter 2
Whelp, that crappy chapter's finished; now it's time to move onto the next one! Every story will have different protagonists, so sorry Ralph lovers.
Thanks for taking the time to read this - it means a lot! Please Rate and Review, but don't be too harsh!
~reality-be-rent~