A/N I've had a busy week but have decided to post this chapter. I've put the rating up too as I feel it's more appropriate. Thank you for reading
In her sleep Max sees fleeting images, she wasn't sure if they are memories or just dreams, it was so hard to tell what is real and not. But one memory came to her while she slept.
She and Alec are in the apartment, she turns to get two cups from the cupboard but when she sits down she has her back to him, Alec circles the counter and looks at her with a sadness look that mirrors her own. She continues to stares at the cupboard, while Alec stands quietly watching her. The conversation leave Max feeling incredible sad. Max starts to silently cry both in the memory and while she sleeps.
She can't remember the conversion just the feeling of lose like she is mourning someone. Then Alec puts his arm around her shoulders, kissing her hair. He rests his cheek against her head and whispers in her ear. She still feels sad but she is calmer and more at peace with Alec comforting her, it just feels right.
When she wakes the sun isn't quite coming up its still early morning, OC is fast asleep. With this latest memory replaying in her head she wants to see Alec to talk about it. Obviously everyone is keeping things from her, I mean the Dr practically told them to so she can remember things for herself. But things just didn't make sense and she wanted answers. From the memories she's pieced together and the feeling attached to them not to mention the wedding band on her finger, she knows Alec is important to her and she cares deeply for him."Hell I married him, I must love him!" Walking through to the livingroom she see her bike and she decides to go for a ride.
On her bike she feels free and at ease. Something about riding around the streets make her feel like herself, although she might not remember who she is, she just knows she loves her bike and the freedom she feels on it. She doesn't know where she's going she just enjoys the ride, but there is something about this street that feels familiar. Max stop outside an apartment and goes inside and she knows she's been here before.
Max wasn't sure what to expect when she knocked on the door but was surprised to see Alec at the door.
Alec looked equally surprised to find her at the door, his clothes are rumpled obviously he's slept in them. She also detects the faint smell of liquor and his voice sounds slightly rough as he was still sleepy.
"Max, how did you get here? Do you have your memory back?"
Max shook her head letting him know her memory had not returned "I couldn't sleep and went for a ride. I just kinda ended up here."
Alec gave a slight smirk and opened the door wider, a silentinvitation for her to come in. He closes the door behind her before he speaks "I guess your body remembers more than you at the moment." Seeing her puzzled look he continues "You don't sleep much, you like to ride your bike at night instead. You call your bike your baby."
Max thinks over what Alec said, she knowing its true as that's exactly how she felt on her bike. She spots the couch in the middle of the room and sits down but turns her head to Alec so she can ask him. "What about this apartment do I find myself here often. Do we live here, or just you?" She looks at his face watching his eyes widen briefly then took a deep breathe and join her on the couch, but not sitting to close. "Dr Carr did say not to tell you to many things you know. Your suppose to try and remember."
It was a cop out they both knew it even if it was true. Max began twriling the wedding band on her finger deep in though. She though about bring up her memory she had earlier but wouldn't know where to start as she didn't really understand what was happening, just that she was sad and he comforted her.
"God everything is so confusing and its really its really frustrating that people don't tell me anything!" Max was anger and frustrated "its so hard to know what's right, I don't know anything about myself, I don't know who I am!"
In a smaller voice Max sighed and said "how can I trust anyone, if I can't trust myself?"
Alec tried to comfort her, "I guess you just have to try and use your instincts and trust that deep down you subconscious know who you are. Trust your gut, I'm sure your memory will return soon"
"I trust you Alec" she said with a small smile "I don't know why, I guest its just a feeling, but I trust you. You make me feel safe."
Alec sucked in a breath, how could she trust him? This whole thing is his fault, overcome with guilt he confessed. "Max I'm so sorry, this is all my fault!" Max eyes shot up questioningl his statement.
"You shouldn't feel safe with me. I'm the reason you got hurt. I was there Max it's my fault. I didn't protect you. It's my fault I'm the reason you can't remember, I'm the reason your so confused... I'm so sorry Max..." Max knew he was beating himself up and it was her turn to comfort him. She brought her hand upon to his face stoking his cheek, stopping him from talking.
With her amnesia Alec was basically a stranger, everyone was, but sitting comforting each other Alec didn't feel like a stranger to her. Looking in his eyes she sees the hurt there but also how much he loves her. Without think she snakes her hands around his neck and kisses him.
It starts slow, she places soft kisses on his lip. While he is frozen in place either in shock or to scared to move. But within seconds she pulls his body closer, hands hands stoking her sides heading toward her chest and he begans to return her kiss.
She swings her leg over sitting on top of him, aligning their hips while she discovers his mouth, the rough surface of his tongue stirring the warmth in her. She rotates her hips, pressing her heat to his, finding him already hard. The pressure against her core drives her higher and hotter. Wrapping her tongue around his, she arches into the kiss. Alec makes a strangled noise in his throat, his hand drifting up to the back of her neck before he pulls away. She gasps at the loss and tries to follow, but he rests his forehead against hers.
Everything feels so good like a dream but it brings Alec back to his senses. This is wrong, this isn't the real Max. He pushes her away and stands up.
"Max, you don't know what your doing! This isn't right , I'm sorry I shouldn't have kissed you..."
"Actually, I kissed you Alec." Max interruptured "I might not remember things Alec but I know what I feel... let me show you" Max moves towards him.
"No I'm sorry, I can't Max" Alec sees the look of rejection and hurt on her face, he caused that. He's royally fucked up now letting this happen, he can't take advantage for her. He opens his door "I'm sorry Max, you should go back to your apartment."