Chapter 3

The next morning, Celaena awoke early from a dream, where someone lay imprisoned in a bitterly cold dungeon, who possessed nothing but a frayed blanket for warmth. She lay on her side, breathing heavy, nightwear slick with sweat and a hand touched her shoulder she screamed aloud.

"Celaena?"

Her hand reached out, trembling as she rose from the bed as though satisfied to be rid of its comfort.

"I…I'm fine."

Frigga was watching Celaena with a look of utter concern.

"Was it a nightmare?"

"Yes, Mother," she admitted, staring out of the window, her voice trembling. "I'm sorry, I…I…I think I…I need a moment."

Before Frigga could utter a word, Celaena had already disappeared from her chambers. Her mother lowered herself onto the bed, all the while contemplating yesterday's new.

On her way out, Celaena nearly ran straight into the figure standing right behind her.

"Your Highness."

"Hello, Sif."

"You look weary," she said, "Is something the matter?"

Celaena forced herself to grin. "It's nothing I can't handle."

Sif and the Warriors Three all looked at her.

"The sooner we deal with this the better," Fandral reminded them, causing the princess' eyebrows to lift.

"I don't understand. Where are you going?"

"To speak to your father," Volstagg explained.

"Wait–"

But it was too late.

She had seen them getting ready to leave, and within a second they had turned and left.

Loki sat on the throne for the first time, and reflected that nothing was ever what you expected. He had believed he would one day sit here. He had proved his worth. But the throne seemed somehow too big at the moment, and the golden walls too close. He thought of Odin who had once been there before, a man who'd succumbed to his lies. He wondered how he would be remembered, or even if he would be remembered.

"Allfather, we must speak with you urgently."

He made eye contact as they inclined their heads; having realised it was not Odin sitting there.

"My friends."

Celaena's throat went dry, but she managed to say something anyway.

"Loki, what are you doing there?"

"Where's Odin?"

"Father has fallen into the Odinsleep," he said, "Mother fears he may never awaken again."

As they continued to approach him, Sif glanced at him and added, "We would speak with her…"

"She has refused to leave my father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me." He inclined himself, slowly, and they listened as the spear made a deep thud against the floor. "Your King."

Celaena glimpsed at him. Her mind rolled back to a past conversation dating as far back as their youth.

Sif was saying something to Loki.

"My King, we would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

" My first command can not be to undo the Allfathers last," Loki informed them.

Celaena began to feel a seed of doubt growing in her stomach.

Loki added, "Were on the brink of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity, in order to feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together, for the good of Asgard."

Sif clenched her fists. And when she moved to confront him, Hogun and Fandral managed to keep her still whilst the latter held Loki's gaze and replied, "Yes, of course."

"Good, then you will wait for my word."

Volstagg took a deep breath.

"If I may beg the indulgence of Your Majesty to perhaps reconsider–"

"We're done!" Loki snapped.

Men like Loki, who lived by tradition, never understood men like Volstagg who lived by their hearts. Celaena bridled a lot at Loki's attitude, glaring at him as the other four left. Her expression darkened.

"It's unwise to insult our friends."

"Sister…"

She didn't give him the chance to continue.

"I know it's been difficult for you, but if you behave like this, you'll have more enemies than friends." While he lowered himself onto the throne, she composed herself. "When we were children, I once said I thought you'd be a great king. Do you remember that?"

"I do."

The tension was killing them. If he had thought about it before, Loki would have spared her from the truth the moment his world had started to collapse. She came towards the throne, leaning against it so that she was now looking down at him. Another moment of silence followed.

"I can't change what I am," Loki murmured.

"I never asked you to," she said. Because it doesn't matter if you're Aesir or Jotun. Not to me, she nearly added.

"It's part of me. It will always be part of me."

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you…"

"Is it about what I think it is?"

She hesitated a moment, looking him right in the eyes.

"Yes."

"Not now."

"All right. But you still have me to watch over you, and you me." She closed her eyes, and a small noise rumbled from her chest. "But, Brother, you must understand that something else–"

"Laena! I said not now!"

A chill ran up her spine.

"Forgive me."

Loki's voice was pleading now. He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, and when he did Celaena disappeared.

Brother and sister joined Frigga at the Allfather's beside, sitting across from their mother. Knowing better than to dwell on their quarrel, Celaena knew this was what happened when you reached your last beacon of hope. Whatever was left had not quite started to go out.

"I never get used to seeing him like this," Loki said softly.

Celaena agreed, but she didn't need to remind him.

"He's put it off for so long now, that I fear...

As Frigga squeezed Odin's hand, Loki remained stone-faced and asked, "How long will it last?"

"I don't know. This time, it's different. We were unprepared."

And that is why we should NEVER have let Thor persuade us into accompanying him to Jotunheim, Celaena thought, Once we did that, of course thing's weren't going to be the same again. For anyone.

"So why did he lie?"

Loki stared at Frigga. The latter woman saw something in Loki's expression that she had never seen before and she realised with shock that there was now a shadow of Laufey passed over Loki's face. Celaena did not let him see her emotions, nor her mother. She remained looking at him when Frigga spoke quietly, and to her son, explained, "He kept the truth from you, so that you would never feel different. You are our son, Loki. And we your family." She paused, and then added, "I know this is a shock to both of you."

Celaena watched him, worried. "Loki, I still love you. I've never stopped loving you, if that was your concern."

Loki nodded. It might well be for the best that both of them understood the truth, and what he could now do about it. But it was the faith they placed in him that concerned him. At least, he mused, he had someone other than Odin to prove himself to.

"We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us. And your brother," their mother finished.

"What hope is there for Thor?"

"There's always a purpose to everything your father does."

Loki sat back a little and Celaena sensed the apprehension lurking. She blinked the tears from her eyes, and there he was, still in front of her like he knew what to think. His eyes were lowered. In the glowing light, his face looked pale.

That's what he looks like when he really fells lost and when he shows his true feelings…

In the middle of the night, she awoke abruptly from fevered dreams. At first she didn't know where she was. She could barely even move as fear shot through her and left her pulse drumming fast inside her throat. She managed to roll over a little and facing the sky, observed the thousands of glowing stars. It was past midnight, she realised, at least in Midgardian time.

Celaena lay still a moment, letting the last of the nausea slowly fall away. Something old and tattered filled her mind, but she wasn't sure what it was. She blinked and remembered that she was safely in her chambers, not in the dark. And she had dreamed of… Where? Where had she been dreaming of?

She sat up, feeling shaky.

You need to stop this. She rubbed her head and lowered herself from the bed. You're being foolish.

She tried returning to the contentment of sleep, but that was about as useful as thinking you could get away with generating pranks. After fifteen minutes, she came to a door that led inside the armory room. There, she discovered things almost how she'd expected them to be. Spears, armor, helmets. Celaena sighed over all of it, nostalgically, thinking about the first time Sif had proved herself capable of possessing such weapons and soon inspiring her to do the same.

She marched over to a box, shrouding herself in a green thin glow, missing the scuffle of footsteps as she worked to unlock it. It was encased in a thick blanket of grey, drifting and spiraling like ash. She brushed it down, coughing, and raised the lid after a moment. Most of what was inside was from childhood years. A tiny red cape, a beginner's spell book, a girl's teal dress and matching teal shoes.

That was when she noticed something buried under the cape. She frowned and realised what it was. Underneath Thor's first cape was an infant's blanket, handmade, frayed with age.

Is this mine?

Wrapped inside it was a small sheet of paper. She unfolded it and read it:

(965 AD)

My Dearest Celaena,

Please know that I only ever wanted the best for you. If he had allowed it, I would have sent you to Earth in a heartbeat. It is where you belong to. My greatest wish is that we might reunite one day. I am weak and cannot give you what you need. I fear that I cannot go on much longer, but I must. For you. You are the reason to give me strength. He visited again. He always does. If there is not hope for me, then I pray there is hope for you. I will love you. Always.

Eve Lofgren

Your Mother

Celaena dropped the letter, clenching her fists and remained perfectly still. A wave of energy sent the furniture backwards against the walls of her room, landing with a sickening thud. As a tear trickled down her cheek, she squared her shoulders and slipped away from her room.

Frigga jolted awake and saw Celaena close to the door, blocking out the light. Once her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, the queen knew something was clear: The note stayed gripped in Celaena's right hand, preventing it from escaping. Then her fingers went slack and it crumpled to the floor. Her eyes were as eerie and shady as the sky.

"Why didn't you tell me I was half-mortal?" she seethed.

A creak sounded from the other side of the door.

Loki had seen the whole thing.