000
Things between them only seemed to get more awkward after their confrontation outside the ship's bathroom. There were countless things her heart and mind were screaming at her to do, and yet, she remained silent. Even as he led her off the ship into the hot Cornerian summer air, giving the vixen her first real glance at possible escape, she did nothing.
It was almost as if her body was still stunned from his words, unable to comprehend the ferocity and sincerity that had been behind them. Over and over again she replayed the scene. She couldn't forget the anger and determination in his eyes as he pushed her up against the wall and finally got through to the vixen's otherwise impenetrable resolve.
You think you're the only one hurting here?! You think you were the only one who suffered?
I never knew.
Every day since I forced you to leave has felt like the worst day of my life! I'm sorry for what I did to you! It was a mistake! I fucked up! I understand that!
All this time...
Her old self was still there, still angry and wanting nothing more than to rip her wrist free from the holocuffs that bound her to the vulpine, if only so she didn't have to look at him anymore. There was still a part of her didn't want to believe him. The part of her that wanted to keep the distance between them, to leave Fox alone and abandoned just as he'd done to her, so he could know what it felt like.
But now, as she kept her head bowed and silently walked alongside of him, she couldn't help but wonder if he already did.
They'd left the ship as soon as she'd slipped her shoes on, which hadn't been the easiest of tasks with only one free hand. She'd thought about just speaking up and making him some sort of promise that she wouldn't try to escape and that he didn't have to do this to her. But he wouldn't let that happen. And she could understand why. Even she wasn't sure if she could keep that promise. Once the opportunity arose to break away from him...would she take it?
Regardless, they were together now, bearing the heat of the day and stepping through the slightly crowded streets of the city. She felt nervous for numerous reasons, and she knew he did too. At any second she could cry out and scream for help. It might be out of character for her, but it would work once people started noticing the holocuffs. Fox would be arrested. Star Wolf would be notified. She'd be back with Panther, and probably never see the vulpine again.
But for some reason she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her body stayed by his side. Her mouth remained closed. She didn't struggle, she didn't plan out some means of escape. She just followed his orders. Why, she didn't know.
And to top it all off there was another reason she felt nervous, but it concerned only herself.
It was hot.
Very hot. And simply from walking a few blocks down the crowded streets the both of them had started sweating from the heat. To Fox it was no big deal, but to her it was a growing problem. She hadn't expected any this to happen. She'd planned on returning to her room, not going out into public. Had she known she'd be walking the populated streets of Corneria's most crowded city, on a hot summer day no less...
She'd have put on a bra and some form of panties or underwear.
Instead she'd left those articles of clothing in the hallway floor, having dropped them upon bumping into Fox who, seconds later, had the holocuffs on her. Needless to say, in all the ensuing drama, she'd forgotten about them. It was only now that she remembered the all too necessary pieces of her wardrobe that she was missing...and it didn't help that the vulpine's shirt she was wearing was completely white.
They were here for supplies, Great Fox was being refueled as they walked, but food wasn't the only problem. If he was going to force her to stay with him then she'd need clothes. She'd need a toothbrush, among plenty of other things...just as she'd had before when she'd been living with the vulpine and his team.
That was, if she didn't escape.
I can't possibly think about going along with this, can I? It doesn't matter what he said. I should try to escape. This...this is wrong. All of this is wrong.
The option to alert the public and end it all right then and there was still on the table, but despite the easiness of it she didn't want to take that road unless she absolutely had to. There were better ways to go about escaping this new life. She was smart, she could come up with a reason good enough to get the cuffs off her wrist, if only for a few seconds. Besides, it wasn't like she wanted Fox put in jail or anything of the sort.
So she played with the idea, brainstorming certain scenarios in which she could get him to release her. Strangely, however, as her mind went over the list of possibilities, she felt her insides churn with anxiety and even regret, almost as if a part of her truly was against the idea of leaving him. The idea of going back to StarWolf and putting up with Panther was beyond cringeworthy...but at least she wasn't kept there against her will!
I've got to get away from him before it's too late. Before he hurts me again.
She cast a glance over at the vulpine, immediately stiffening as his eyes met her own and he forced a small smile. She quickly narrowed her gaze in response, forcing that same hateful vibe forward. It was painfully obvious that a part of her still wanted to make sure he knew how much she hated him.
Because I do. I do hate him!
Neither one of them spoke as they walked on, and the longer they trekked the more unsure she felt. The vulpine's body brushing up against her own with every step was just as wonderful as it was fur-bristling. Before the incident earlier it wouldn't have been a challenge at all to feel anger and hate towards him. Up until then she'd still assumed he was doing all of this for his own selfish reasons and that he didn't truly understand what pain he'd put her through. But now that had changed.
It was then that the vixen found herself having to dig a lot deeper to locate those dark feelings for the vulpine and for some reason that only seemed to make getting away from him all the more a priority..
000
Most of what he needed to buy was found at one location. It was a supermarket, but not the traditional kind. It was specifically stocked with goods and products dedicated to long-term space use. Foods and provisions made to last months on end before expiring, while still retaining a half-decent taste. He'd used this method of shopping to stock the ship ever since he'd inherited it, and it worked flawlessly.
He had to do nothing other than fill out a rather large form. Boxes were checked and quantities were entered, before simply stating the name and make of his ship. Then, after paying, all of the goods would be delivered to Great Fox and placed in the dreadnaught's cargo bay. He'd never have to lift a finger.
Except, of course, to fill out the forms. Which proved to be more than difficult.
Damn, it's so hard writing left handed.
He realized, after awkwardly checking the first few boxes, that he'd cuffed the wrong wrist to Krystal's, which probably explained why she'd kicked his ass back on the ship. They were both right-handed when it came to writing and fighting, so it was no surprise that she'd had an advantage during their tussle.
But now, as he signed the bottom line with a signature comparable to that of a doctors', he knew he'd sooner die than ask her if she'd mind letting him switch up. Such a question would probably result in another ass kicking. That, or she'd agree and make a break for it the second he released her.
Even now she still looked at him in such a way that his heart ached with guilt and remorse. The vulpine found himself gritting his teeth in restraint every time his eyes met her own. He'd already had one outburst, and it had actually worked in his favor. But to allow another one? To speak out and tell her to stop looking at him in such a way...that it was only making things worse between them...he had no clue how that would end. And as of right now he didn't want to find out.
So far though, the expedition was going well. She had kept quiet and stayed at his side. No attention had been drawn to them, no curious stares, no imposing questions or awkward conversations. She'd merely ignored him and went along with things. Why, he didn't know. But as long as it was working he didn't bother asking questions.
Food and fuel, done. Now supplies. All that really pertains to is clothes and stuff.
He looked up ahead past the flood of citizens around them, his gaze resting on a large store. This was their last stop. All he had to do was get in, grab some stuff, get out, and return to Great Fox. Afterward they'd be back in space and he could relax and focus his full attention on Krystal and fixing his mess.
"Last stop." he finally spoke up as they stepped towards the sliding door entrance, the vulpine glancing over at the vixen and trying to coax a bit of reassurance out of her.
"Feh."
Her response only caused the slight, hopeful look on his face to fall away that much quicker. After a second or so he merely sighed and stepped onward, his arm brushing against hers. Instinctively he inhaled, breathing in her scent and relishing the feel of her fur, tinged slightly with sweat as it brushed up against his own.
It was under the wrong circumstances, but they were together. They were close. And he loved it.
As they stepped through the sliding doors the vulpine couldn't help but reach up and wipe the sweat from his face, the cool blast of air-conditioning running over his entire being like beautiful wave. The transition was heavenly and he even managed to catch a small look of contentment on Krystal's face as they stepped inside, his eyes locking on her own. He took a second to admire their beauty before following their gaze downwards as she cast an unsure glance towards her chest and chewed on her lower lip.
Why she it, he wasn't sure. Eventually the vulpine just passed it off as just another angry look of hers, indirectly aimed at him of course. Trying to ignore it, he reached out with his left hand and grabbed a stray shopping cart, steering it in front of him with his one free paw before eventually having to bring his other one up steady it. He could only bite his tongue as he watched Krystal's arm brush up against his own, the vixen's hand resting atop the bar on the cart as he steered it.
It was as if every single little thing he did was the most crucial and nerve-wracking thing in the world. Surrounded by people, trapped in a public place, handcuffed to the guy who had kidnapped her and was, truly, refusing to let her go.
How did it come to this?
He expected her to react to something before long. Sure his words back on the ship had been deep, and yeah maybe they had healed a few of the wounds he'd inflicted, but he knew it hadn't been anywhere near enough. She still wanted nothing to do with him. She still wanted to escape. And she still definitely hated being handcuffed to the vulpine and being put through all of this.
But once again she did nothing other than sneer to herself, making damn sure he saw the expression, before looking away.
"Sorry." he murmured, trying to focus on where he needed to go in a pathetic attempt to play it off.
"Whatever."
He winced at her tone but said nothing. At this point he figured that was the best response he could have possibly gotten. Before long his mind was back on task, urging him to complete the mental checklist he'd prepared in his thoughts as soon as possible..
She's letting me do this. So far she's actually went along with it. Does that mean she actually wants to stay with me?
You aren't home yet. Do you really think she wants to spend more than five seconds at your side?
She hasn't tried to escape though, maybe-
Just pay attention and focus on getting back to the ship!
Heeding his thoughts the vulpine went down a few aisles rather quickly, grabbing bottles of shampoo, toothpaste, bleach, detergent, and anything else he thought he'd need. Every few seconds he'd glance over at the vixen who was still thankfully following along with him. He'd always manage to catch her staring off in the distance towards some other part of the store, almost longingly. He was half tempted to ask her if there was anything she needed...but he wasn't that stupid. The vulping was pushing his luck as it was.
Finally, after heading down a few more aisles and throwing a few more necessities into the cart, they were upon the apparel section of the store. At this point, despite wanting to ignore him as best she could, he found the vixen staring over at him countless times. She wasn't looking at him though, rather the area behind him.
Still, he tried to meet her gaze, if only to figure out what the deal was. It was then that he finally noticed her clothin upon, having allowed his eyes to wander freely for the briefest of moments. Her top was darkened from sweat but that wasn't what ultimately caught his eye and forced him to blush red and turn his attention elsewhere. No. It was her...obviousness. Suddenly he was recalling the fight on the ship, now faintly remembering a few articles of oh-so necessary clothing resting on the floor afterward.
He hadn't thought anything of it then, but now?
She doesn't have a bra on.
And then another, more discouraging thought...
No bra, no panties...and yet she still hates me too much to tell me.
Regardless of such realizations though, he felt face grow hot as his mouth tried to slip into a childish. It was wrong of him, and completely his fault. Yes, he realized how embarrassing it was for her, and yes he was sorry he'd unwittingly done it. But in all truthfulness, it was an honest mistake. A mistake that could have been avoided had she simply spoken up rather than ignored him.
In a way, this was just as much her own fault as it was his.
He finally looked back over at the vixen, noticing a flustered blush on her own face as she gave him an annoyed, and somewhat pleading look. He cleared his throat, struggling to look straight ahead and not anywhere else. It was painfully obvious by now. He knew. She knew he knew. It had just taken this long for him to figure it out.
Yet another stupid problem he had to deal with.
A beatiful, amazing, bra-less problem.
000
He knows!
She hated the way her face burned. She hated the embarrassed and shameful feelings that overcame her now...as if she actually cared what he thought of her. So far she'd stayed quiet and tagged along, never voicing her dilemma and instead simply focusing on what she'd do to escape.
She'd finally came up with a plan, one that she had been seconds away from putting into action, only to have her mind sidetracked as she noticed the clothing racks drawing closer. Rather than focus on how she'd fake stomach pain and claim that she felt sick, or anything stupid like that which would get her into a restroom and away from him, the vixen instead found her thoughts drifting towards acquiring some proper articles of clothing.
This doesn't matter...I should be focusing on trying to get away from him.
They continued to slowly make their way around the apparel section, the vulpine having finally wiped that stupid look off his face that had been making her blush, and want to bust his nose. They were right at the clothing area. This trip was for supplies right? She needed clothes. If Fox planned on keeping her a prisoner on the ship for his own stupid selfish reasons then he should at least acknowledge the fact that she had different needs than he did.
What am I thinking? Do I really want to go back with him? Why? What's wrong with me?
All it would take from her end was an outburst. That's it. Just grabbing the arm of a passerby and refusing to let go, frantically claiming she was being held against her will by the vulpine. The only proof she'd need was wrist. It was painfully obvious that they were wearing holocuffs...if someone knew to look for them. Otherwise? Well...they were just two foxes seemingly walking alongside each other...nearly holding hands.
I can't go back. I can't let him do this to me. Not again.
She had to get away.
Without thinking it over she stepped behind the vulpine and pulled him with her for a few seconds. Of course, he tightened his hold on the shopping cart and stood his ground almost immediately, leaving the vixen to clench jaw in anger before bowing her head and turning back around to face him.
"You know what I need." she growled, not giving him a chance to speak and instead jerking his wrist to add emphasis to her determination.
The vulpine merely stood there at first, holding her gaze and allowing a mixture of emotions his eyes. She held her ground as well though, her own gaze fierce and threatening. It was obvious that she was daring the vulpine to deny her the privilege. He didn't have any leverage over her anymore. Not down here. She could escape at any second now, and why she hadn't already was a mystery even to Krystal herself.
I just...I don't want it to be that way...even Fox deserves better.
Arrested. Sentenced to serve time. His legacy ruined. His life would be in shambles. It'd be all over the news. People would actually give a shit about Fox McCloud once again, if only for a little while. But if she could escape on her own, and quietly, at least she'd spare him that fate. Though...the vixen couldn't help but wonder if her leaving him once more would be the final push that the vulping needed before outright killing himself.
He'd never do that.
You've got other things to focus on anyways. Fox's problems are his own. Worry about salvaging the life he nearly destroyed!
Finally he nodded in acceptance, pushing the cart over to the side of the large open floorway and following her through the racks and tables. He let her lead the way, and the vixen could already feel her heart beginning to beat a little faster. It was simple, though with Fox on guard it would be more than difficult. He was smart, cunning, fast, strong, and so much more...attributes she regretfully had to acknowledge every time she'd contemplated escaping so far. That just meant she'd have to focus that much harder on getting this right the first time.
A few seconds later they came upon the area she needed to be in. Bras, underwear, panties, swimwear of all sorts of shapes and sizes lined the tables and stands. She looked them over, quickly finding a few pairs that would fit her, though not really concerned with anything other than grabbing them and moving onwards. She had plenty of clothes back on StarWolf, which is where she'd be before the day was done with and over. Up ahead were the changing rooms. They were constructed much like cubicles only with higher walls, forming a nice "U" shape with the cash registers in the middle. She continued on that way, the vulpine stll allowing her to lead as she came upon the checkout area.
She felt the vulpine's arm shift as he turned and began reaching into his back pocket, digging for his wallet as he readied to pay. But that wasn't what she had in mind. She knew he'd be suspicious with the idea, but it was also understandable. She was a girl after all. She wasn't about to buy anything, especially a bra, without making sure it fit right. Why else did they have changing rooms?
She tugged the vulpine onward as he slowed his pace before the counter, stepping by it and coming to the collection of small rooms, each with a door much like that on a bathroom stall. It was then that she came to a stop, resting before one of the empty squares and clenching the clothes in her paw. Seconds later she gave a sharp yank on the vulpine's wrist, lifting her paw making it painfully obvious what it was she expected of him..
"Well?" she sneered, her voice harsh and as cold as she could make it.
Once again her gaze met his own. He was looking back at her with a firm expression on his face, but the distrust and fear was all too evident as well. She could tell he didn't want to indulge her. He was still too afraid to undo the one thing that was still keeping her by his side. But...she could also see a faint glimmer of hope, as if he felt like he could trust her despite every ounce of common sense that would suggest otherwise.
Just like I thought I could trust him.
It was after catching that look in his eyes that the vixen couldn't help but inwardly smirk in satisfaction. She knew she'd get what she wanted.
Or she'd find out she was completely wrong.
He blinked. A soft, thoughtful act...before sighing and reaching forward. She watched in disbelief as he eased the door open and stepped in, pulling her with him and not giving her a chance to object before he turned around and locked the stall. Whatever hopes she'd had of her little plan working had just been dismantled.
She watched as he turned back towards her, a strong, determined frown on his face as he nodded.
"Change." he spoke firmly, looking down at the clothes being strangled within her paw.
"No." An immediate response. Her tone was cold and her eyes narrowed at him in anger with even the thought "Not with you here."
"I'm not leaving." he replied, the vulpine's voice just as emotionless as he stood his ground. "You know that. Now...either try them on or forget it."
She could have called him out on the fact that it was impossible for her to do anything with their wrists tied together...but she didn't. The thought never crossed her mind. Instead, she was left feeling a new form of frustration and anger that she'd yet to experience. He...he didn't realize what she was doing for him. This was her way of escaping quietly. She was trying to save face for the vulpine so that when she finally got away from him it wasn't with a crowd of people watching as he was handcuffed! And his response? Even now...he didn't allow it.
All of the sudden her anger seemed to let loose, just as before being accompanied by heartache and pain. And she could feel it. She could feel her emotions slipping forward once again, just like they had on the ship.
He'd hurt her so much. She'd loved him more than anything in the galaxy...and he'd broken her heart. He'd forced her to leave and she'd been left with nowhere to go but into the arms of StarWolf...which she hated. And just as she was beginning to piece together what pathetic excuse for a life she might have been able to salvage...this happens. The kidnapping. The fighting. The emotions that left her wanting to beat the vulpine into a bloodied mess, whilst loving him with all her heart as she did so.
She just wanted to get away from him. At least...a part of her did. And even then, she cared for him so much that she wanted escape this mess in a way that wouldn't leave Fox looking like an obssessed, kidnapping freak.
She knew now that he was aware of it. He wasn't dumb enough to fall for any scheme she could have ever hatched...even if it was for his own good. All of it...all of this...everything...it finally became enough for her to snap.
"I hate you." Head was bowed and tears filled her eyes. Every syllable had been cold, pain-filled, and nothing short of unbearable...even for her.
She didn't see it, but she knew the vulpine had stiffened from the words. She knew they'd stabbed him in the heart and hurt him more than Andross or anyone else ever could, but she didn't care. She couldn't stop herself. Her life had become so fucked up because of Fox. All because she'd loved him more than anyone ever could, and then he'd done this to her. And now it was just too much. She didn't know what to say or how to act towards him.
So she just let her emotions out .
"I hate you Fox." she repeated, her head hanging and her eyes still brimming with tears, "That's all my life is now. Everything you're doing to me-
"Fuck you."
...
He'd snarled the words so hatefully that she knew she'd crossed a line. Even still, she wasn't given the chance to even raise her head before she felt the vulpine's hands gripping her shoulders. A fraction of a second later he'd slammed her up against the wall, muzzle in her face, his eyes filled with frustration and pain that further told the vixen what she already knew. She'd gone too far.
"All I ever wanted was to protect you." he muttered. His voice nothing but soul-crushing and heart-stopping with its snarling, emotional tone...and it sent shivers down the vixen's spine in the worst of ways. "Everything I did, I did it with what was best for you in mind. Even if it meant losing you. But do you want to know what the worst part is?"
Everything came to a stop then. There wasn't a Lylat. Corneria didn't exist. People weren't a few yards away shopping for groceries. No. It was just herself and Fox, locked in that room...and she knew what was coming even before he spoke it. What he was about to say...she wouldn't be able to hate him anymore after hearing it.
"You've known that all along."
His claws had been digging into her shoulders the whole time, a stinging pain running across them with every beat of her heart, but that wasn't what provoked the tears silently streaming down her face. She had plenty of other reasons to cry now.
"I'm tired of you trying to hurt me." he muttered softly, yet angrily, slowly releasing her but staying just as close. "I am going to make this right." he went on, the look of aggression fading little by little in his gaze. "No matter what it takes I don't care how hard you, or anyone else, tries to stop me."
Her head remained bowed, tears silently trailing down her cheeks as she took in the vulpine's words and struggled to figure out how to feel about them. It was obvious now. He'd get what he wanted or die trying. He was willing to do anything it took to keep her with him, to fix both of their lives, no matter what she tried to do to stop him. Even if she didn't want it.
She wasn't going to escape, and now realized that. What Fox had in mind for her...she hated the thought of it. Them becoming friends again. Everything going back to the way it was before he ruined her life, as if it was that easy to just 'start over' whenever he wanted. Yet, her heart was begging for it. That happiness, the contentment she'd felt back in those days. She wanted it back more than her pride would ever allow her to admit.
She'd been ignoring the thoughts and feelings up until now, choosing to mask them with her anger and hatred, but that was impossible after today. She couldn't ignore the truth any longer.
I still love him.
The vixen's body trembled as she choked back a sob, clenching her fist tight around the clothes in her paw, only to immediately stiffen as she felt him step forward. Much to her amazement and disbelief she felt his arms fall around her, pulling her close and holding her there against him. Of course, she tried to shove him away. That was just instinct kicking in, telling her to do what was needed to protect herself...despite never feeling safer in her life. His scent, the touch of his fur, the outline of the vulpine's powerfully strong and protective muscles as they rested against her...all of it was just...right.
This is where I belong.
But despite such a thought her paws were still trying to shove him away. It was proof. Proof of how terrified she was of being abandoned a second time. She wanted him to let go. She wanted him to leave her alone...
And instead he only held her tighter. The vulpine simply clutched her all the more firmly and ignored her brief struggle of protest before the vixen herself finally gave up and rested her head against his shoulder. She was now nothing more than an emotional train wreck in the arms of an animal she didn't know what to think of. It was all his fault. The good. The bad. Everything that had happened to her over the course of the past few months. But it didn't matter.
She still loved him.
She had no idea how long they ended up staying like that, nor did she care. The vixen hardly responded to any of it, instead just standing there against him and allowing herself to get lost in the clutches of the one creature in all of Lylat who could make her life just as much a living hell as an eternal paradise...all the while replaying those same words over and over again in her mind.
It was her that was doing the damage now.
Fox was just trying to fix it.
He finally eased away, their cuffed hands brushing against each other as she watched the vulpine reach down into his jacket pocket. A moment later he'd unshackled their wrists, holocuffs caught and tucked away now that they'd once again become visible She watched, gaze still tear-filled as she stared down at her own paw. Already she missed it. The feeling of his hand against hers, regardless of the circumstances.
"Take your time." he murmured softly, pulling her gaze upwards as the vulpine stepped towards the changing room's door and glanced back at her. "I'm going to grab a few more things. I'll be back in a few minutes."
And then he was gone, door easing shut behind him and leaving the vixen to slump back against the wall and slide to the ground. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them, sniffling and letting the tears fall at their leisure. Nothing mattered anymore. Being angry at him, wanting to escape, everything that had happened in the past...she didn't care.
How can I be in love with him again? After everything he did to me...how?
A part of her, however miniscule and ever-receeding, still hated him. The anger and rage, the desire to make the vulpine hurt just as much as she herself had, it was still there. But after everything that had just went down she couldn't help but wonder if they were already past that point. Her...or Fox? Which one of them had been devasted more? As much as she was sure that the vulpine hadn't been as miserable as she was...now she wasn't so sure.
"Everything I did, I did it with what was best for you in mind. Even if it meant losing you."
The way he held her. The way he endured every bit of hatred and anger she'd spat his way. The look of pain and suffering in his eyes...and the way it would always disappear for a few brief moments when he saw her. That was, until she sneered or scowled at him and made it vanish.
He'd fucked up. Everything was his fault. She had every reason in the world to hate him.
And yet...she had so many more to love him.
"Oh god..." came the vixen's soft, broken voice as she glanced down at the clothes within her paw and felt the tears trickling down her chin. The realization that, after all of this, she was now apologizing to him didn't matter...because he was right. She'd known all along. He'd done it because he loved her. He'd never meant to hurt her.
But that's all she'd been doing to him, purposely, for the past few days.
"I'm so sorry Fox."
000