EIGHT

Kate found that the first few hours after they brought the writer home from the hospital passed with amazing speed. After leaving Castle in his bed, she went immediately to the pharmacy to pick up his array of necessary medications. The doctor had explained that some of the medications needed to rouse the writer from his nearly comatose state were highly addictive and they simply could not stop giving them to him; he had to be weaned off. Thus, his meds also came with a detailed list of dosage instructions, which Alexis had guarded closely.

Back at the loft, she gave the writer his appropriate medications and then left him to rest while Alexis prepared dinner and she called around to find a shower seat available for pickup that day. Luck was on her side as the second place she called had one available and they were open until seven that evening. Even better, the store was relatively nearby her apartment, so she could pick up a few changes of clothes on the trip.

Kate knew that both her male partners and her father continually offered to help, but she opted to just rush out herself, thinking it would be easier. Of course, she'd failed to take into account Manhattan rush-hour traffic on a weekday before departing on her journey, but she made it to the store well before it closed, which was all that mattered. Lugging the chair under one arm, she returned to her apartment, packed another bag full of necessary items, and then decided to take a cab back to the loft as the seat was quite cumbersome.

"Is that it?" Alexis asked with a less-than-impressed tone upon Kate's return.

She nodded in confirmation and placed the white plastic chair down on the floor just outside the master suite.

The red-head walked closer to examine it. Then she looked at Kate and shrugged. "Guess I was expecting something more."

"Well I'm glad this is it, because anything more would have been really heavy to carry for that long. Anyway, how's your dad? Did he need anything while I was gone?"

The younger girl shook her head. "No. I checked on him maybe forty-five minutes ago and he was still sleeping, but I was just about to check again to see if he wanted to eat something."

"I got it." Kate hoisted up the chair once more and carried it with her into the bedroom, which, now that the sun had set, was mostly dark. She didn't want to startle him awake, but also knew he needed to eat and not completely destroy his regular sleeping schedule, so she walked softly to the bathroom, deposited the chair inside the shower, and then returned to the bed intent on waking the writer. Just a foot from him, she realized he was already awake—and shaking violently.

"Oh god, Rick." She placed a hand on his arm and then reached out to turn on the bedside light with the other. Once the room was lit she could see that he was curled up in a fetal positon on his side, his forehead slicked in sweat. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

"My head." He managed, though his voice was filled with agony.

"It hurts? How bad? Do we need to take you back to the hospital?" she asked, her heart sinking towards her feet. Of course it had been too easy. Of course the ill effects were sitting in. Of course he could not escape a building falling on him with noting being wrong with him at all.

"N-no." He managed. "Don't want to go back."

"Well you might not have a choice." She cautioned. Turing to the array of pill bottles on his bedside table, she found the painkillers and began to read the dosage instructions. "You took one of these when I brought the meds in, right? The pain pills" She asked, holding out the bottle so she could see.

"N-no; didn't need one."

"Rick!" She half-scolded. The doctor had warned about taking the pain medication regularly to keep his discomfort from becoming too severe—at least for the first two days home, anyway. She swiftly unscrewed the cap off the pill bottle, dumped one of them into her hand and then put the cap back on the bottle. "C'mon." She encouraged. "Sit up so you can take this."

Very slowly and with obvious discomfort he did as she asked. She pressed the pill into his palm and then waited until it was in his mouth before handing him the glass of water. She could see by the way the water moved in the glass just how badly his hands were shaking; it was unsettling. "Do you think you could eat a little something? Might make you feel better?"

He merely shook his head, closed his eyes and fell back into a balled up position on the mattress looking as pale as she'd ever seen him. "Okay, just try to relax." She coached, resting her hand against his bicep. As she still felt his body tremoring, she asked, "Are you cold?" He shook his head. "Okay, then I'm going to get you a cold washcloth for your face.

She swiftly moved to the bathroom, grabbed a clean washcloth out of the cabinet, ran it under the tap and then squeezed it out so it wouldn't drip. Returning to the bed, she folded it in half and pressed it down over the writer's forehead and eyes. Then, she feathered her fingers through his damp hair before combing them down the back of his neck and gently massaging the top of his shoulder. "Is this okay or making it worse?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"'sokay." He mumbled out.

Kate glanced over at the clock beside his bed as she continued her gentle touches and massages of his shoulders. She would wait twenty minutes, which was enough time for the medication to begin working, and then, if he was still in a great deal of pain, they would need to seriously consider returning to the hospital, no matter how much Rick didn't want to.

"Is my dad okay?"

Weary, Kate rubbed her fingers across her right eye before looking up at the red-headed girl. "Um, yeah, I think so. When I went to check on him, his head really hurt. I got him to take one of his pain pills and I think he fell back to sleep. I'm going to check in about twenty minutes; we really need to get him to eat something—all he's had since he came home was that toast you made him."

With a long exhale, Kate shuffled her way to the living area, collapsed down on the closest edge of the sofa, and raked her fingers back through her hair. Watching Castle's body shake and tremble for almost fifteen minutes had been deeply upsetting for her. She wanted more than anything to take away his pain, but yet she could do nothing to help him; none of them could.

Witnessing his body react in ways he did not permit, she was taken back to her college days when coming home for summer break meant finding her father curled up on the small bathroom rug, his body shaking so hard he couldn't stand up right. That was still back when he insisted he had his alcoholism under control and he could stop any time he wanted. He would demonstrate this by quitting cold turkey and thus went through two days of nasty detox. While Castle's shaking and her father's had two very different points of origin, the upsetting effect remained the same.

"You look like you could use a break." The younger girl observed wisely.

Kate sat up straight and sucked in a breath."Wha—no. No I'm fine." Actually, she was exhausted, but it was better she carry the burden, not Alexis.

"If you want to leave, you can."

Kate's eyes widened and she looked at the girl very seriously. "I don't want to leave, Alexis. I have no problem being here with you, helping your father. Do you want me to go?" The girl shrugged, so Kate said, "Then as long as you're not upset I'm here, I'm staying."

Alexis stepped forward and softened her tone. "I'm not upset you're here. I…I'm glad, because you make my dad happy, but you also don't have to beat me to doing everything; I can help."

Feeling the need to lighten the moment, Kate said, "Oh good. You'll help him shower tomorrow morning, then?"

"Ah…sure."

Smiling at the girl's commitment despite obvious discomfort, Kate stood and squeezed her shoulder. "I'm kidding. And I know you're capable of helping. Like making dinner, that was a big help."

"You still look like you need a break. Let me sit with him all night."

Kate refused though with a pleasant expression. "No, you won't be able to help him to the bathroom if he needs it. Maybe tomorrow night."

"Okay, well, still—if you need me for anything…"

Kate reached out and stroked a hand down the girl's arm. "You need to get your sleep tonight. Remember: you have to catch up on your schoolwork tomorrow. Let me worry about your dad, okay?"

Alexis merely shrugged. "I'm always worried about him."

Sometime in the middle of the night Kate awoke and almost immediately grumbled at the uncomfortable ache in her neck. Not wanting to be too far from Castle in case he needed anything, she'd curled up in the chair beside his bed and attempted to sleep with her head propped between the back of the chair and her shoulder; obviously her neck had not liked this plan. She sat upright, rubbing the kinked spot with her right hand, and intended to shift her position to be more comfortable, when she heard a sniffling noise that drew her attention. At first she thought it was just Castle snuffling in his sleep, but the more she listened, the more she realized it sounded like crying.

"Castle?" she said softly, unwinding her legs and arms from the blanket in her lap.

"S-sorry."

"Wha—no. don't apologize. Is it your head? Does it hurt again?" she asked. She leaned her hands against the closest edge of the bed and slid them steadily across until she came in contact with the writer's body. She cautiously slid her hands around in the dark and realized she had hold of his arm. Moving northward, she reached his shoulder. His t-shirt was not damp around the neck, which she felt to be a good sign; even if his head did hurt at least he wasn't trembling and sweating like before.

"'snot my head." He sniffled.

"Okay. What is it? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…I was having a dream and I was back in the bank and Mother was there and these strange things were happening—can't really remember—but when I woke up it hit me. She's gone; I'll never see her again."

"Oh Castle." Kate sighed. She climbed up on to the mattress and moved close to him until she sat on her hip at his side, both her hands resting on his arm. "I'm so sorry."

She'd been waiting for him to break down—to grieve—ever since the news broke. She suspected the medication-fog not to mention the sheer shock of being the lone survivor would delay his emotional reaction, but it appeared it was all catching up with him in that moment.

"It's just…it's so unfair. She was still so young, so full of life. She should have gone on to do more plays, more theatre…and I—I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"I know." She grazed her hand across his chest and hugged him, bringing her forehead to rest against the side of his head. "It is unfair, Castle; these things always are, but she knew how much you loved her."

"Yeah." He rasped out.

Kate held him close for several more minutes before he requested she help him to the bathroom. She turned on the bathroom light and then aided him in his journey. She waited patiently as he relieved himself and then splashed some water on his face while washing his hands, before helping him back to bed. As he finished mopping up his face with tissues, she returned to the bathroom and shut off the light and then walked back to her makeshift chair bed.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sleeping on the floor?"

"No; the chair."

"Why aren't you in the bed?"

She hesitated before answering. In her mind, such a move wasn't appropriate being that they were in their most bizarre state of relationship limbo to date. Furthermore, she did not want to risk disrupting his sleep any since he needed his rest to heal. "I'm fine over here," she said as a non-answer.

"Kate. Get in the bed."

She hesitated again, but only for a moment; the ache in her neck proved convincing enough. She groped her way towards the edge of the bed, peeled back the covers, and slipped inside, trying to stay towards her edge of the bed as best she could. She'd only be resting against the cloud-like pillow for a few moments when she heard her companion take in a ragged breath and she thought he may have been crying again.

Her heart breaking for him, she skimmed her hand beneath the covers until she found his elbow and used it to trace her way towards his hand, which was resting across his chest. She placed her hand flat against the back of his and sad, "You should try to get back to sleep."

"I know." He placed his other hand over top of hers and they remained that way until after they'd both fallen back to sleep.